Depression during maternity leave. Emotional burnout in mom: how to deal with uncontrollable stress

Depression on maternity leave is a fairly common occurrence. Do not think that it appears temporarily. Prolonged stress can be hazardous to a woman's health. Consider why during maternity leave depression develops, how it manifests itself and how to avoid it.

Why is depression dangerous?

We have all heard about emotional burnout. The inner reserve of human strength is not unlimited. A person suffers from a depressed mood, his sleep is disturbed, he is overcome by suspiciousness, shyness, and indecision. All these are signs of depression, which often develops in women on maternity leave. If left untreated, this condition can become uncontrollable and cause harm.

Studies show that depression can be the cause of many diseases:

  1. First of all, depression increases the risk of heart attack. Long-term depressed mood is a path to the development of cardiovascular pathologies.
  2. With depression, nutrition is disturbed: a person is prone to use a large number sweets and products high content carbohydrates. And this is the reason for the development diabetes. Research shows that diabetes and depression are related illnesses.
  3. Depressed people tend to be obese.
  4. Prolonged depressed mood reduces a person's mental abilities.
  5. Prolonged lack of treatment for depression is the cause of chronic pain. And often physiological causes such pains during a medical examination cannot be established. Treatment chronic pain when the mood is depressed, it becomes much more complicated.
  6. People with depression have poor performance immune system. As a result, they are more likely to suffer from infectious diseases.
  7. The worst thing is that depression is the cause of cancer.

Causes

Even if the child is calm, this does not mean that he does not require attention. The result is sleepless nights constant pressure attention and anxiety for the state of health of a small creature. Forces gradually decrease, fatigue accumulates. Because of this, the mother becomes inattentive, tired, absent-minded.

Postpartum sadness and despondency develop for the following reasons:

  1. Strong fatigue. It is most pronounced in the first time after childbirth. It is characteristic that young mothers feel increased irritability and even alienation.
  2. Monotonous life. The first time after childbirth, a woman is near the baby, and this space does not change for her. There is no time left for communication, and even more entertainment. If every day is similar to each other and consists of a cycle of endlessly repeating events, then sooner or later emotional exhaustion sets in.
  3. changing appearance, women's dissatisfaction with their appearance. This is due to the fact that after childbirth, the figure of a woman changes. And this, in turn, is the reason increased irritability, because efforts to be beautiful become futile.
  4. Women who have had their first childbirth develop the so-called bad mother syndrome. They unreasonably think that they can’t do anything and can’t cope with the baby. In addition, all the words and advice of adults are perceived as teachings, which only aggravates the situation.
  5. Lack of opportunities for self-realization and self-affirmation.
  6. Lack of time for rest. A woman cannot be alone for at least half an hour, buy something, cook, watch TV, etc. Naturally, sooner or later, the nerves start to play pranks from this.
  7. Limited or lack of communication. It often happens that a young mother has to communicate in a "childish" language. But the natural need is to communicate with people. As a result, a woman with a high degree of probability may experience a nervous breakdown.


Symptoms

You can suspect depression in yourself by the following signs:

  • irritability (young mothers begin to annoy any little things);
  • increased fatigue;
  • drowsiness during the day, sleep disturbance at night;
  • a feeling of weakness that does not go away even after rest;
  • positive emotions cease to be a source of former joy;
  • the appearance of guilt, self-inferiority;
  • the appearance of a feeling of lack of time (a woman feels that she does not have the strength to perform ordinary duties);
  • the emotional background decreases;
  • severe emotional exhaustion, when a woman is not happy with anything;
  • she is overcome by thoughts of how to run away from home;
  • communication with her husband also does not bring any pleasure, which ultimately worsens the situation in the family.

Don't lose health

The period of caring for a child is very stressful for a woman. And there is no need to think that within 3 years the young mother will take a break from work. Quite the opposite: caring for a child is the very job, and very stressful and difficult.

How to get out of depression and how to prevent the development of chronic fatigue?

These tips will help new moms:

  1. Condition wellness and cheerfulness is a dream in the afternoon. It is necessary to try to sleep during the day at the time when you put the baby to bed. This best holiday for a tired body.
  2. Before going to bed, you can take a relaxing bath. She will remove negative emotions and tune in to night rest. Sleep from this will be much stronger. It is recommended to add a little to the water sea ​​salt or natural essential oils.
  3. You definitely need to play sports. Regular and easy exercise will raise your tone and drive away depression. Be sure to set aside time to practice fresh air: they allow you to feel the physical and emotional uplift.
  4. Reading - The best way occupy yourself during your leisure time.
  5. Depression on maternity leave will disappear if you regularly communicate with those who are dear. Take some time to socialize and see how your mood improves.
  6. Part of the responsibilities for caring for a child can be redistributed, given to a husband or grandmother. A young mother should devote at least an hour a day to rest. You don’t have to look up to other mothers, as they are busy raising a child and caring for him all day, because your health is completely different.
  7. Under no circumstances should alcohol be consumed. It is not an antidepressant, and in most cases only exacerbates the problems.
  8. Always set yourself realistic and achievable goals. This way you won't feel like you can't do anything.
  9. You need to be able to determine for yourself the so-called crisis point, after which you need to quit some things and relax. Otherwise, emotional exhaustion is inevitable.

You need to accept the fact that rest, no matter how busy the schedule of the day, is necessary. After all, anyone, even the most strong body not iron. You need to find time for the most ordinary female joys: going to nail salon or a hairdresser, for a massage, etc. Even a meeting in a cafe with girlfriends can decorate the endless fuss.

Lesson options

Decree is not only the time of child care. If a woman uses her time rationally, she will be able to direct it to self-development, self-improvement and other useful things. Naturally, there will be no place for despondency on such a vacation.

Here are the most suitable ways to occupy yourself with useful and pleasant things:

  1. Easy and hassle-free remote work. You can perform some of your work duties remotely, that is, at home. This is also good way earn some money.
  2. You can think of a pleasant activity in free time. This is sewing, knitting, etc. Start your own blog and fill it in: you did not know how interesting it is. The only thing that needs to be considered for this is the child's daily routine. It is recommended to adapt exactly to his regime.
  3. Try to boost intellectual level. Maternity leave is not a hindrance. Moreover, the time has come to improve some of your knowledge, to learn a foreign language.
  4. Why not take a driving course while on maternity leave? Some women take advantage of this. Having mastered the art of manicure, nail extensions, etc., you can also make good money.
  5. Even an ordinary trip to the store can be turned into a small holiday. To do this, just take a closer look at the range of goods, buy something pleasant. Even a small purchase can lift your spirits. And buying something for home improvement, you can upgrade it, which also helps fight depression.
  6. Bright clothes can drive away longing and improve mood. It is even better if the family will walk around in cheerful clothes: this way you can arrange a holiday for everyone.
  7. Don't be afraid to accept someone's help. Moreover, it is necessary to forgive long-standing grievances and accept life as it is.
  8. Shutting yourself in is the worst thing that can happen. Try to discuss pressing issues with friends and relatives: this will make life brighter and more diverse.

Treatment

IN individual cases need to resort to drug treatment depression during maternity leave.

It is shown only in extreme cases when other means of influence do not help. Self-medication with antidepressants is by no means allowed.

Antidepressants are enough potent drugs. Most of them are used only under strict control, since even a slight excess of the dosage contributes to the occurrence of side effects.

Good and at the same time effective method get rid of depression - aromatherapy. Essential oils can be used in the bath. Once in the body, they contribute to the restoration peace of mind, cheer up. It is best that the selection of essential oils is carried out by a doctor: self-treatment oils in some cases can be harmful. All oils should be used only natural: from artificial substitutes little oil. Essential oils of lavender, lemon balm, rosemary, orange act best on the body.

So, depression during childcare is quite preventable and treatable. However, it is still better not to bring yourself to such a state.

The joy of the appearance of a baby in the family is difficult to hide. Much better, many mothers manage to hide from themselves and from others the longing into which they often fall.

Moreover, this happens, despite the fact that every woman will agree: children are the flowers of life, giving positive emotions. Therefore, it is worthwhile to figure out why there is an inexplicable feeling of longing and depression on the decree becomes frequent companion many mothers.

The fact is that not everyone manages to endure a routine existence for several years and at the same time remain a positive, good-natured, sweet and cheerful person.

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It affects both physical overwork and emotional overstrain. Emotional burnout is a common problem for those who professional activity connected with people. At the same time, it is high time to admit that mother is one of the most serious professions.

Causes

physical exhaustion Everything says: constant lack of sleep, frequent malnutrition - and all this lasts not a month, but 2 years (sometimes even more). Fatigue, which seemed like a trifle while studying at school, on maternity leave can simply break.
Monotonous weekdays While caring for a child, every day is so similar to the previous one. Rattles, diapers, bottles and nipples just start to haunt mom. Therefore, many women do not leave the feeling that they were in the famous film "Groundhog Day", but even there the main character had at least one entertainment - to throw himself off a cliff.
Lack of opportunity for self-realization Naturally, except for childcare, most women on maternity leave simply have no time to do it. This cannot but inspire melancholy and despondency.
Lack of personal time Being alone, watching TV in silence, cooking something for yourself is a completely natural desire of any person. At the same time, most mothers have to spend almost all their free time on a child. As a result, despite the boundless love for him, the woman's nerves can not stand it.
Dissatisfaction with the reflection in the mirror Even if it was not difficult to get in shape after childbirth, then visit a beauty salon, do styling, walk in shoes on high heels- all these are inaccessible pleasures of a woman caring for a baby.
Lack of communication It is especially difficult for those mothers who, in the absence of girlfriends and relatives, spend whole days, waiting for their husband, alone with the crumbs.

Symptoms of depression on maternity leave

It is possible to suspect that fleeting melancholy has already developed into depression by the following signs:

  • excessive irritability and nervousness;
  • constant drowsiness, persistent feeling of weakness;
  • the inability to experience a feeling of joy from what used to give this emotion;
  • a woman considers herself a bad mother;
  • feeling of lack of time, inability to fulfill all duties;
  • decrease in emotional background.

Depression on maternity leave is complete emotional exhaustion, when nothing around is happy. The husband becomes an incomprehensible person, games with a child do not bring pleasure, and he himself behaves simply disgustingly. A woman dreams of only one thing - about escaping from a boring house.

Prevention

To prevent the development of feelings of depression during maternity leave, it is worth following some recommendations. Following these simple tips will help you avoid a lot of problems:

Goals should be down to earth and achievable This means that mom does not need to strive to raise a "handsome and successful child prodigy", but for a start, just "feed him and put him to bed on time." Setting a difficult goal prevents you from coping with everyday tasks and leads to the formation of a sense of insecurity.
Perfectionism is not the best belief when raising a child It is worth remembering the "ideal" parents who grow up "ideal" children simply do not exist in nature. It will not be possible to achieve perfection always and in everything: perhaps sometimes it will not work out to look perfect, perhaps some desires of the baby will not be satisfied, perhaps the floor will not be washed by the time the husband arrives - but there is absolutely no tragedy in this.
Don't expect gratitude Laying your life on the altar called "child", and then reproaching him for ingratitude is not the best option. The child does not have to be grateful. You just need to be a mom, because who wanted it the most?
Communication with a child should not be a burden. It's about that classes should not cause negative emotions for either the baby or the mother, no matter how “super-developing” they are.
Don't compare yourself to others Moreover, neither the child nor the parents can be compared. Every person is unique. Let the kid at 2 years old not quote the classics, but he has long been asking for a potty and can brush his teeth.
Don't overload your child Early development That's great, but it's important to remember age features crumbs. Too long classes take away from the baby and at the same time from the mother a lot of time and energy. It is enough to spit a little, draw a little, just make some noise. Everything should be in moderation.
delegation of authority Of course, being a supermom is great. But sometimes you can entrust part of the responsibilities to relatives. For example, a grandmother can sometimes take a walk with a baby, and a husband after work can eat dumplings from a store, rather than hand-made ones. Thus, you will be able to make time for yourself.
Decreased global control This does not mean that you do not need to monitor the child. Just sometimes you can let him tear up newspapers, walk around the apartment in your shoes, scatter toys all over the room, and at that time calmly drink a cup of coffee. After all, it will not be too difficult to clean up after, but at the same time, both mother and baby will be able to relax a little.
Don't be a "prisoner at home" It is possible that it will seem wild to someone, but with children you can and should walk somewhere other than the playground. Not a single baby has ever been harmed by a trip to the zoo or a trip to visit. If you want distant wanderings, then in this matter it is worth focusing on the features of each specific child. When the baby feels great on the road, why not travel with the whole family.
An hour for yourself - let it become a daily rule At this time, mom should do what she wants: watch TV, go to visit a neighbor, take a warm bath. Of course, dad gets tired, but the change habitual activity It's also a vacation.
Two hours a week away from home and without a child This is a great tradition that will allow you to take a break from household chores. At this time, you can go to a beauty salon, a cafe with friends, a bath - in general, change the environment and social circle.
Regular exercise can help prevent depression Dosed physical exercise, especially in the fresh air, will make it possible to feel not only emotional, but also physical recovery.
Self-realization should not be relegated to the background A simple remote job or hobby will help prevent the development of depression on maternity leave. So any mother can feel like a full-fledged person.
Small holidays should become a habit Let it be small purchases for yourself: a desired dessert or new perfume - all this cheers you up.
Search for like-minded people It is worth communicating as much as possible with the same mothers: on forums, on playgrounds. It is important that there is someone to speak out, complain and get advice.
It is important to determine the boiling point that should not be crossed If it is about to come, you should drop everything, put off all your affairs and relax for a while.

Treatment

If the depression on maternity leave still has not passed, the help of a psychotherapist will be required. It will help you deal with negativity good advice to overcome pathological condition. The doctor is able to restore the emotional comfort of a woman, to form internal protection from the negative.

Very rarely, electroshock treatment is performed. This method is used if depression is a direct threat to life, and medications the patient is unable to accept.

As for it, it comes down to taking antidepressants. These are serious drugs that only a doctor can prescribe. Self-administration is strictly prohibited.

The course of treatment is also determined by the psychotherapist, as a rule, it is quite long and can be a year or more. This is important for disease prevention.

Another way to get rid of depression is the use of aromatherapy. Essential oils, once in the blood through the skin, contribute to raising the mood.

To achieve this goal, you can take a bath with them, massage or just inhale. Greatest effect in this regard, it gives oil of rosemary, lemon balm, orange.

Husband help

You should not hide your condition from your husband and secretly blame him for dislike and inattention. For a mass of pressing matters, he may simply not notice that something is happening to his wife, and if he notices, he often writes it off as a banal PMS. Meanwhile, you need to return happiness to the family together.

Here's what a husband can do:

  • try to understand;
  • pay more attention to his wife;
  • more often to please a woman with presents, to tell her pleasant things and compliments;
  • will go on a joint journey;
  • take on part of the childcare responsibilities so that the woman can rest.

Many husbands perceive it as something that does not require special attention. In fact, it is often not possible to eliminate the problem only by increasing care; it is important to return inner comfort to the wife. Therefore, the advice of professional psychologists should not be neglected.

  1. The husband should not remain indifferent to the upbringing of the child. To do this, call it on straight Talk which should take place in a calm tone. It is possible to apply small tricks, for example, to say that Team work make the child more like the father.
  2. You should read the literature on the upbringing and development of children, even if a woman is raising more than her first child. In such books you can always learn something new for yourself, gain experience.
  3. It is worth following the reward system. That is, for every task completed, you need to thank yourself. At the same time, both tasks and rewards can be minimal (after cleaning, you can watch TV).
  4. It is important to communicate as much as possible.
  5. If there are no relatives who could unload the woman from the duties of caring for the baby, then you can use the services of a nanny. It is not at all necessary to hire her for the whole week, a few days are enough.
  6. It is not necessary to artificially create, and even more so, exaggerate the problem. It is important to realize that a great miracle happened, and life was given to a new person. It cannot cause depression.

Nature is programmed that sooner or later almost every woman begins to want a child. She makes plans and dreams about how she will spend her vacation taking care of the baby. However, after childbirth, especially if the child is the first, the woman is faced with unforeseen difficulties (lack of sleep, the whims of the baby, the inability to relax and take time to take care of herself). All this contributes to the development of manifestations in a woman. postpartum depression. The first months after the birth of a baby is a time when relationships in a young family are often tested for strength.

Especially often, depression on maternity leave occurs in sensitive and emotional women. They have a natural sociability and openness. Building emotional connections with other people is a vital necessity for them.

It is not surprising that forced solitude and limited communication while a woman is “sitting on maternity leave” cause her a state of emotional deficit, which she often feels like depression. People of such a plan have a huge emotional range and it is unnatural to close it only on communication with a husband and child. As a result of the lack of realization of the emotional range, maternity depression occurs in young mothers: tearfulness appears, apathy sets in, and sometimes there are tantrums and panic attacks.

If a woman decides to have a child under pressure from her husband or driven by the need to fulfill her childbearing function up to 35-40 years, but at the same time she does not have the need for motherhood, then it is likely that she will develop postpartum depression.

Factors contributing to depression

The following factors contribute to the onset of depression:

  • Chronic fatigue. It is especially strong in the first four months after the birth of a child. At this time, the baby often suffers from gases caused by the immaturity of the intestines, and is prone to bouts of evening crying. If, in addition, there are problems with lactation, then the woman does not know what to do, and feels literally exhausted. Hence the tearfulness, despondency. In this case, we must remember that all this is a temporary phenomenon and literally in a couple of months life will return to normal.
  • Monotony. If a mother on maternity leave needs to communicate, then you should not isolate yourself within four walls for a long time. Beginning with one month old you can walk with a child in almost any weather, and a little later - visit friends and even go shopping.
  • dissatisfaction with the figure. Often, after giving birth, a woman's appearance undergoes changes, which is very upsetting for a young mother. Especially if the husband directly expresses his claims to her. This is not a reason to shut yourself up. Diet modification and physical activity over time, they will help restore the body to its former shape and get rid of depression.
  • Lack of experience. Women who have given birth to their first child often feel that they cannot cope with upbringing and do everything wrong. As a result, they develop a sense of their own inferiority. In this case, it is better to read the relevant literature and listen to the advice of mothers with children.

How to cope

To prevent the onset of a depressive state during parental leave, psychologists recommend following certain recommendations.

If it is difficult for a woman to cope with the upbringing of a child on her own, it is necessary to speak frankly with her husband and determine what responsibilities he is ready to take on. The conversation should be without screams and claims. But you should be prudent: if your spouse needs to get up early for work, you should not charge him with the nightly care of the child.

In times when everything seems to be going wrong, in order not to fall into depression, it is important to remember that there are no ideal parents. It is impossible to always do everything to the maximum. Even though sometimes you can’t look perfect or wash the floor once again for the return of your husband from work, you should not make a problem out of this.

For women for whom self-realization is important, remote work or training will help to get out of depression. By devoting a certain period of daytime to these activities, a woman will be able to avoid degradation and usefully spend maternity leave.

Sometimes you can weaken the total control and let the baby run the house. And at a time when the child is busy, you can safely read or drink a cup of tea. Early child development is good, but everything should be in moderation. Everyday activities take a lot of mother's time and are often tiring for the baby. Sometimes it’s enough just to draw a little, read a book or make Easter cakes.

To cope with the development of postpartum depression will help physical activity and long walks. This will enable the child to be outdoors for a long time, and the mother to keep a good physical form and even mood.

To take a break from homework, it is advisable to set aside a couple of hours a week for communication with friends. At this time, you can visit a cafe, a beauty salon or go shopping. If there is absolutely no one to replace a young mother for a vacation, it is advisable to hire a nanny. In this case, a woman can even combine childcare with studies or part-time work.

depression therapy

Drug treatment of women during lactation is not permissible. In case of emergency, the child is transferred to artificial feeding and only after that assign strong drugs: antidepressants and tranquilizers. Usually the use of such strong drugs is indicated only if, before pregnancy, the woman had any mental disorders or they appeared for the first time, but they are pronounced and do not lend themselves to the methods of psycho-correction.

Antidepressants show excellent therapeutic effect, but their use is possible only under the strict supervision of a physician. Many of them have certain contraindications and side effects.

Aromatherapy is considered a gentle way. To do this, oils are added to the bath while bathing and used in an aroma lamp. The selection of oils should also be carried out by a doctor, since with hypersensitivity they can do harm. Lavender, orange, lemon balm, and cedar oils have a good calming effect.

Yesterday you were so cheerful and cheerful, today, sitting on maternity leave to care for a child, do you feel overwhelmed and unhappy? This should definitely be corrected and not run, allowing depression to command you. How to do it? Specific descriptive situations will help you find your way out.

You've probably heard the term burnout. This means that the internal supply of energy and strength in a person is depleted over time if it is not replenished. The reason for this may be, among other things, nervous strain. If we talk about mom on maternity leave, then the causes of burnout will be lack of sleep, malnutrition, fear for the baby. Here they may well provoke such a burnout. Agree that no one will remove you from the post of mother, which means that now you work 24 hours and you have the most demanding boss - your child. Be honest, do you put off eating to please your baby? Do you also dream about rest and extra 15 minutes in the bathroom? Are you always on guard and ready to act? Be aware that at this pace you confident steps you go to the process of burning out.

I hope that the examples below will be useful to you, as they say: "Forewarned is forearmed."

A state of chronic irritability.

If you don’t have the opportunity to sometimes switch from your immediate duties of caring for a baby, household chores - in a word, you don’t have assistants, then after a while you begin to understand that you’ll boil a little more and explode. You are annoyed by everything that happens around: any misconduct of a child, inattention of a husband can serve as a reason for a quarrel. You scream, get offended, and then cry because you understand that you are wrong, you apologize to your loved ones for the breakdown. But a little time passes, and a quarrel may arise again ... It's just some kind of vicious circle turns out. But, fortunately, it is quite possible to break it!

In order not to make misunderstood tantrums, first accept the fact that you are not infinite, and you need to rest. And for this you need to learn to allocate time for yourself personally. Going to the salon for a haircut, coloring, manicure, massage and other feminine joys is a great opportunity to pamper yourself and go out to people, change the situation. Maybe it will just be a meeting with a friend in a cafe or buying something for yourself. It doesn't matter what you do - the main thing is to do it for yourself! And then, when you have a little rest, think about whether you are planning your day correctly, and are you asking yourself a lot of work? Maybe it's time to stop rushing? Believe me, doing several things at the same time, you do not save time, you just wear yourself out irrationally! Pay attention to this please.

Mom is in a state of deficiency of the internal reserve of forces.

It will be about the insufficiency of your internal resources, thanks to which you rejoice every day, charge those around you with your enthusiasm, good mood and enjoy taking care of your little one.

Whatever calm child, but it grows and requires attention: first it's teeth, tummy, then crawling, first steps, and so on. Sleepless nights, maximum attention and anxiety for the health of the crumbs exhaust you, fatigue accumulates, and already because of it you become inattentive, even absent-minded in something. And now you start to fill yourself with bruises and bumps, knocking your toes against furniture corners, trampling your fingers, chopping vegetables, you begin to forget the important things that you planned the day before. Attention becomes not so sharp, and memory becomes “leaky”. By completely unconsciously saving your strength, you infringe on the child in your tenderness, you smile less often, and the people around you also lack your attention. Because of this lack of internal reserve, you may soon become more withdrawn. Sad prospect, right? How to fix everything?

A new hobby, a kind of emotional shake-up, will help. This is a new hobby (as an option). It can be needlework (knitting, embroidery, scrapbooking, modeling, jewelry making, and so on), learning foreign language(you don’t even need to go to courses for this - everything can be found on the Internet), you can become an online consultant on a thematic forum. Choosing an occupation to your liking is a matter of your talents and desires. And then you yourself will not notice how free time will appear in a seemingly completely “crammed” schedule for a new hobby. And who knows, maybe after a while your hobby will become your profession. Believe in yourself, in your strengths - even on maternity leave, you can grow professionally and, doing what you love, get rid of psychological discomfort.

If you have a breakdown

Excessive nervous strain is fraught not only with breakdowns and scandals, psychosomatic problems may appear that affect health. It can also be problems with pressure, disruption of work gastrointestinal tract, headaches, sexual attraction to her husband may decrease, and so on. No wonder they say that all diseases are from the nerves.

And how can you help your nervous system? You know, here in this case can't do without the help of specialists. It is one thing to get enough sleep and calm down, and another thing when there are malfunctions in the body. Do not put off a visit to the doctor: the sooner you start therapy, the sooner you will return to your normal state.

Initiative and enthusiasm beyond measure are punishable.

When a child is born, a young mother, being in a state of emotional uplift, tries not to leave the baby for a second, postponing for later and “somehow later” such important things for her as eating, good rest, dream. Such refusal or even renunciation will not lead to anything good. Remember, your internal forces are limited, and more than they are - will not be, if they are not replenished. It's like constantly drawing from the source and not giving it the opportunity to recover. Sooner or later you will see the bottom. A month, three months, maybe half a year, maybe a year you will last in non-stop mode, dragging everything on yourself, and then? But the family members around you are already, to put it mildly, used to the fact that you do everything yourself, and your sudden impulse to abandon this may not affect the family in the best way. The child will be capricious without you while you are resting - he is used to being always with you. And the husband does not want to sit with the baby - even, thanks to your excessive guardianship, he does not know which side to approach him and where diaper toys are in the house. This is how your plan to restore internal forces can fail without even starting to be implemented, and the resources of the body, meanwhile, are melting and melting.

And what to do? How to be? There is an exit. If suddenly your situation is similar to the one described above - do not expect an emotional breakdown, act. Start with 30 minutes a day just for yourself. Let it be a cup of coffee or tea, but you have the right to drink it in absolute peace, listening to your favorite music or reading a book. There is such an old, bearded joke, the key phrase of which is the final chord of the mother: “Quiet, sha, I make you a happy mother!” So, start small, gradually bringing these 30 minutes to several hours a day, when you can be your own mistress. And do not say right away that it is unrealistic. The main thing is to want, set a goal and work to achieve it!

And finally.

Sitting at home, on maternity leave, very often young mothers “launch” themselves, plunging headlong into everyday life and completely forgetting about themselves, who were once loved. Monotonous everyday life with a small child and a list homework not very conducive to growth and development. No, of course, the daily small victories and good luck of the little one are pleasing, you are proud of them with pleasure and tell all your friends and relatives about it. Someone will rejoice with you, someone will just smile, but someone is not interested. But life doesn't stop there, does it?

Children are wonderful, and when they appear in the family, you understand that you have switched to new level of its development. You and your spouse have become parents. And to live with the interests and concerns of the little ones, sharing everything with them - this is wonderful, but life is not limited solely to bottles, rattles and pots, cleaning. Do not be afraid to be interested in something else, in addition to household chores, arrange for yourself periodically emotional and psychological relief and shake-ups. Remember: your family needs you as a happy mother and wife!

Pregnancy is the happiest and at the same time the most difficult time for every woman. After all, the pleasant expectation of the birth of a child can be overshadowed various ailments. But it also happens that after giving birth, a woman experiences a depressed state. Why does depression appear on maternity leave, and how to deal with it?

Reasons for the development of depression

There are many reasons why new moms are caught off guard by depression. After all, the life of a woman with the advent of a child changes dramatically, new worries appear, responsibility for her baby, worries about him. Therefore, the decree is both joyful and difficult period life.

  • One of the reasons for the development of depression in mothers is banal fatigue. It is most pronounced in the first few months of a child's life. Due to fatigue, a woman often becomes irritable, feels depressed. In this case, it is simply necessary to understand that all difficulties are temporary. The baby will begin to grow rapidly and taking care of him will not be so troublesome.
  • The second reason for the occurrence of depression can be attributed to the monotony of life on maternity leave. A young mother is at home with her child around the clock, often not being able to relax, sit with friends, go to a cafe or somehow spend time. But even with a child, you can not sit at home. You can go with him to visit, walk in different places even go shopping. It is not necessary to stay at home all the time, especially since it is useful for a child to spend a lot of time outdoors.
  • Another culprit in the development of a depressive state can be the unpresentable appearance of mommy. Women on maternity leave often do not have time for themselves, sometimes even to look in the mirror, there is no extra minute, and even desire. In addition, after childbirth, the figure can change significantly. A bad appearance will also be noticed by the husband, so often the attention from the spouse is sharply reduced, which makes the woman even more worried. Therefore, it is important to find at least a few minutes to put yourself in order, to engage in exercise to restore the figure.
  • Fourth and very important reason The cause of depression is that the young mother believes that she is not coping with her immediate task of raising a baby. Most often, this can be observed in women who have given birth for the first time and still do not know if they are doing everything right. In such a situation, it is simply necessary to enlist the support of more experienced women who will tell you about all the intricacies of caring for a child.

How does the disease manifest itself?

Mostly depression in young mothers, it manifests itself in the form of apathy, that is, a depressed state, indifference to everything, except for their baby.

Many women talk about how they look like robots. It's quite normal condition that all mothers experience. The woman's body starts a mechanism that allows you to maintain performance for a long time.

In this state, mothers often suffer panic fear that something is going to happen to the baby. This greatly complicates life and has a bad effect on the nervous system. It is clear that every mother is afraid for her child, but this fear can cross all boundaries.

For example, the patient may often get up in the middle of the night to check that the baby is all right. And she can also wake up at night, remembering that she forgot to remove some object that could hurt the baby and hide it away. Another woman begins to believe in various evil eyes, spoilage, to be afraid of everything that can somehow harm her child.

How to get rid of depression?

You can cope with depression on your own without the help of doctors, unless, of course, it proceeds in a severe form when special therapy is required. Psychologists offer the following options for how to get rid of depression on maternity leave:

Search for a favorite thing

You need to find some activity for yourself that will distract from pressing problems and bring joy. It can be home work, which not only diversifies life, but also brings profit. Or you can just find a hobby for the soul, for example, embroidery, knitting, blogging online, and so on.

Engage in self-development

Such a hobby is necessary for a person throughout his life. You can increase your stock of knowledge with the help of books or special courses.

Rest

You should always remember that rest is the most important thing for a young mother. This is the only way to restore your strength, cope with a depressed state and continue to take care of your child. To do this, you can sleep during the day with your baby, take a bath before going to bed at night, chat with interesting people for a woman, read books, listen to music.

The publication

Every woman needs to get out of the house without her baby. You can ask at least once a week to sit with the child of your husband or grandmother and go to a meeting with friends, cinema, theater, bowling and other events.

Creating a holiday

To do this, you can do home improvement, acquiring various interesting interior items to create a truly rainbow mood in your home. The same applies to buying clothes, they should be bright, positively affect the mood of the owner.

Communication with the same mothers

At present, when the Internet is an integral part of the life of every person, it will not be difficult for women to find like-minded people. To do this, it is enough to visit the women's forum, where all mothers discuss some problems every day, in particular, and how they fought depression.

It is not necessary to find like-minded people on the network. You can meet mothers on the playground, then walk together with the children or attend some events.

Many women refuse the help of others, showing their independence. Decree is not the case when you need to do this.

How to be a spouse?

The decree is not only the concern of one mother. In this case, the father of the child also plays an important role. Therefore, in the fact that the wife has a depressive state, there is a share of the spouse's fault, which means that we must fight together. In order to protect a woman from this disease as much as possible, a man will need the following:

  • Always ask your wife about her physical and moral condition. Often women simply keep silent about the presence of some problems, about ordinary fatigue. The reason for this is the unwillingness to be a burden for your man.
  • Do some household chores. This will greatly facilitate the work of a young mother and allow her to rest more. So she can feel that her husband really cares about her.
  • Compliment constantly. After all, every woman loves with her ears.
  • Don't demand sex. During the period of the decree, many mothers experience an indifferent attitude towards intimate life. Over time, everything will return to normal, but for now you should not insist on intimacy.
  • Give gifts and pleasant experiences. This is a great way to cheer up your beloved and show that she is still loved and needed by a man.

Thus, A husband must support his wife in everything, never tell her that she can not cope with raising a child, household chores. In no case should you reprimand a woman with depression on maternity leave if she did not have time to cook dinner on time, clean the apartment. It is best to help your companion with all the trouble yourself.

When do you need specialist help?

You can consult a doctor when a woman has tried all the methods of dealing with maternity depression, and it continues to exist even after the patient has returned from maternity leave. Also, the reason for going to a specialist may be that the disease does not allow mom to perform her household duties, excessively depresses her nervous system.

But in no case should you take any antidepressants on your own to get out of depression. These drugs adversely affect human health. This is especially strictly prohibited if a woman feeds a child. breast milk. Therefore, you do not need to prescribe self-treatment. Indeed, in many cases, treatment is not required, depression goes away after the decree itself.