How to cope with depression during maternity leave. Emotional burnout in a mother: how to cope with uncontrollable stress

The joy of having a baby in the family is difficult to hide. Many mothers manage to hide from themselves and from others the melancholy into which they often fall much better.

Moreover, this happens despite the fact that every woman agrees: children are the flowers of life, giving positive emotions. Therefore, it is worth understanding why an inexplicable feeling of melancholy arises and depression becomes worse during maternity leave. frequent companion many mothers.

The fact is that not everyone manages to endure a routine existence for several years and at the same time remain a positive, good-natured, sweet and cheerful person.

• All information on the site is for informational purposes only and is NOT a guide to action!
• Can give you an ACCURATE DIAGNOSIS only DOCTOR!
• We kindly ask you NOT to self-medicate, but make an appointment with a specialist!
• Health to you and your loved ones!

Both physical fatigue and emotional stress take their toll. Burnout at the emotional level is a common problem for those whose professional activity connected with people. At the same time, it is high time to admit that mother is one of the most serious professions.

Causes

Symptoms of depression while on maternity leave

You can suspect that fleeting melancholy has already developed into depression based on the following signs:

• excessive irritability and nervousness;
• constant drowsiness, persistent feeling of weakness;
• the inability to experience a feeling of joy from what previously gave this emotion;
• the woman considers herself a bad mother;
• feeling of lack of time, inability to fulfill all responsibilities;
• decrease in emotional background.

Depression on maternity leave is complete emotional exhaustion when nothing around you makes you happy. The husband becomes a misunderstanding person, playing with the child does not bring pleasure, and he himself behaves simply disgustingly. A woman dreams of only one thing - escaping from a boring house.

Prevention

To prevent the development of feelings of depression during maternity leave, it is worth following some recommendations. Following these simple tips will help you avoid many problems:

Treatment

If depression still persists during maternity leave, you will need the help of a psychotherapist. It will help you cope with negativity, give you good advice to overcome pathological condition. The doctor is able to restore a woman’s emotional comfort, form internal protection from negativity.

Treatment using electric shock is extremely rare. This method is used if depression is a direct threat to life, and medications The patient is unable to receive.

As for, it comes down to taking antidepressants. These are serious drugs that only a doctor can prescribe. Taking them on your own is strictly prohibited.

The course of treatment is also determined by the psychotherapist; as a rule, it is quite long and can last a year or more. This is important for disease prevention.

Another way to get rid of depression is to use aromatherapy. Essential oils, entering the bloodstream through the skin, help lift your mood.

To achieve this goal, you can take a bath with them, do a massage, or simply inhale. Greatest effect In this regard, rosemary, lemon balm, and orange oil provide benefits.

Husband's help

You should not hide your condition from your husband and secretly blame him for lack of love and inattention. With a lot of pressing matters to attend to, he may simply not notice that something is happening to his wife, and if he notices, he often chalks it up to banal PMS. Meanwhile, we need to bring happiness back to the family together.

Here's what a husband can do:

• try to figure it out;
• pay more attention to your wife;
• more often please a woman with gifts, tell her nice things and compliments;
• will go on a trip together;
• take on some of the childcare responsibilities so that the woman can rest.

Many husbands perceive it as something that does not require special attention. In fact, it is often not possible to eliminate the problem only by increasing care; it is important to return the wife’s inner comfort. Therefore, you should not neglect the advice of professional psychologists.

1. A husband should not remain indifferent in matters of raising a child. To do this, you should call him straight Talk, which should take place in a calm tone. It is possible to use small tricks, for example, to say that Team work will make the child more like his father.
2. You should read literature about the upbringing and development of children, even if a woman is not raising her first child. In such books you can always learn something new for yourself and gain experience.
3. It is worth following the reward system. That is, for every completed task, you need to thank yourself. At the same time, both tasks and rewards can be minimal (after cleaning is completed, you can watch TV).
4. It is important to communicate as much as possible.
5. If there are no relatives who could relieve the woman of the responsibilities of caring for the baby, then you can use the services of a nanny. It is not at all necessary to hire her for the whole week; sometimes a few days are enough.
6. There is no need to artificially create, let alone exaggerate, the problem. It is important to realize that a great miracle happened and life was given to a new person. This cannot cause depression.

Back in the last century in America, this phenomenon was described in relation to social workers who have been carefully selected. They were motivated to help those in need: families on the verge of divorce or families with special child, relatives of a terminally ill person or people who are depressed.

Let's consider the main reasons for maternity apathy:

1. Constantly busy (sometimes there is no time to drink tea);
2. Physical fatigue and lack of sleep (especially if the child is restless);
3. Lack of vitamins (when breastfeeding, a woman follows a special diet);
4. Communication deficit;
5. Lack of self-realization;
6. “Groundhog Day” (the days are no different from each other, regardless of holidays or weekdays);
7. Concern about one’s appearance (after the birth of a child, the woman’s figure has not yet returned to its “pre-pregnancy” form; there is no time or energy to visit beauty salons);
8. Financial difficulties (when the child turns 1.5 years old, care allowance is not paid).

Depression during maternity leave occurs due to a combination of reasons. Both physical aspects and purely emotional ones matter. In the first months after the birth of the baby, fatigue and constant lack of sleep are most pronounced. This is where alienation, apathy and irritability appear.

In addition, young mothers are forced to be in a confined space almost all the time. Lack of diversity causes irritability, tearfulness, dissatisfaction with life and other problems. Depression during maternity leave can be caused by such reasons. Is your child a year old or a little older, but no longer has the strength? It's just tiredness from the routine.

Here it is important to expand your “horizons”: you can visit with a child (even a small one), explore new walking routes and go shopping. For ease of movement (especially if you do not have your own car), it is better to purchase a comfortable sling or kangaroo. Today there are models that are suitable even for newborns.

After childbirth, a woman’s figure changes noticeably. The kilograms gained during pregnancy do not go away when you are discharged. The changes are noticeable not only to the youngest mother, but also to her husband. Hence the irritability and lack of attention from the other half. But there is a way out. You need to improve your diet and exercise (at least at home). During pregnancy, you should also try not to gain overweight to quickly return to normal after childbirth.

The “syndrome” may be pronounced in primigravidas. bad mom" It seems that everything is falling out of hand, the child is always missing something, there is a fear of not being able to do something or losing sight of something, of doing everything wrong. In this case, you need to find a more experienced friend to whom you can turn for advice.

The joy of having a baby in the family is difficult to hide. Many mothers manage to hide from themselves and from others the melancholy into which they often fall much better.

Moreover, this happens despite the fact that every woman agrees: children are the flowers of life, giving positive emotions. Therefore, it is worth understanding why an inexplicable feeling of melancholy arises and depression during maternity leave becomes a frequent companion of many mothers.

The fact is that not everyone manages to endure a routine existence for several years and at the same time remain a positive, good-natured, sweet and cheerful person.

• make an appointment with a specialist!
• Health to you and your loved ones!

Depression is based on a mixture different emotions: envy of other people's victories, the need to be torn out of the cycle of life, dissatisfaction with one's own appearance.

The main thing that prevents mothers from realizing their wishes while on maternity leave is lack of time and fatigue.

How much we could do if the day were a few hours longer. And the most important thing is that in the hours free from the baby, we would have the strength to accomplish grandiose plans.

There are several myths, belief in which increases a woman's chances of becoming depressed.

1. In these one and a half years (one year, three years) I could achieve a lot(learn, grow in the service, go abroad, etc.). If you are smart, businesslike and active, then you will definitely do everything that you planned or did not have time to do before pregnancy. Consider your time caring for your baby as a short break to realize your future goals. Perhaps your priorities will change. Maybe you will have new plans for life.
2. I have no personal and intellectual development. This oft-uttered phrase is absolutely wrong. Moms on vacation develop intellectually as they learn new things medical terms, begin to understand vaccinations and symptoms of diseases. It is during this period that women learn everything about proper nutrition, choose only quality products and prepare healthy meals.
3. While I'm sitting with the baby, I need to do something(learn foreign language, write a dissertation). There is no need to run ahead of the locomotive and take on an unbearable burden (even if you can do it). A woman who has given birth must recover after childbirth, and doctors give 2 years for this. Raising a child is a respected and honorable job (eg, caregivers, teachers). Therefore, devote the time allotted to caring for your child to him.
4. I look like a fat, sloppy woman from the market. Any woman without makeup looks different. In addition, it is difficult to get enough sleep when the baby asks for the breast at night or has a tummy ache. Many people have moments when they do not get enough sleep (working into the night, going to nightclubs, watching TV, etc.). Everyone has their own choice and life path.

How many women who are not on maternity leave can boast that they have enough free time to take care of themselves?

• All information on the site is for informational purposes only and is NOT a guide to action!
• Only a DOCTOR can give you an ACCURATE DIAGNOSIS!
• We kindly ask you NOT to self-medicate, but make an appointment with a specialist!
• Health to you and your loved ones!

Both physical fatigue and emotional stress take their toll. Burnout at the emotional level is a common problem for those whose professional activities involve people. At the same time, it is high time to admit that mother is one of the most serious professions.

Symptoms of depression while on maternity leave

You can suspect that fleeting melancholy has already developed into depression based on the following signs:

• excessive irritability and nervousness;
• constant drowsiness, persistent feeling of weakness;
• the inability to experience a feeling of joy from what previously gave this emotion;
• the woman considers herself a bad mother;
• feeling of lack of time, inability to fulfill all responsibilities;
• decrease in emotional background.

Depression on maternity leave is complete emotional exhaustion when nothing around you makes you happy. The husband becomes a misunderstanding person, playing with the child does not bring pleasure, and he himself behaves simply disgustingly. A woman dreams of only one thing - escaping from a boring house.

Experts described the features of somatized depression in our other publication.

If depression still persists during maternity leave, you will need the help of a psychotherapist. He will help you cope with negativity and give practical advice on overcoming the pathological condition. The doctor is able to restore a woman’s emotional comfort and form an internal defense against negativity.

Treatment using electric shock is extremely rare. This method is used if depression is a direct threat to life, and the patient is unable to take medications.

As for drug treatment, it comes down to taking antidepressants. These are serious drugs that only a doctor can prescribe. Taking them on your own is strictly prohibited.

The course of treatment is also determined by the psychotherapist; as a rule, it is quite long and can last a year or more. This is important for disease prevention.

Another way to get rid of depression is to use aromatherapy. Essential oils, entering the bloodstream through the skin, help lift your mood.

To achieve this goal, you can take a bath with them, do a massage, or simply inhale. The greatest effect in this regard is provided by rosemary, lemon balm, and orange oil.

You should not hide your condition from your husband and secretly blame him for lack of love and inattention. With a lot of pressing matters to attend to, he may simply not notice that something is happening to his wife, and if he notices, he often chalks it up to banal PMS. Meanwhile, we need to bring happiness back to the family together.

Many husbands perceive a woman's depression as something that does not require special attention. In fact, it is often not possible to eliminate the problem only by increasing care; it is important to return the wife’s inner comfort. Therefore, you should not neglect the advice of professional psychologists.

1. A husband should not remain indifferent in matters of raising a child. To do this, you should call him for a frank conversation, which should take place in a calm tone. It is possible to use small tricks, for example, saying that joint activities will make the child more like his father.
2. You should read literature about the upbringing and development of children, even if a woman is not raising her first child. In such books you can always learn something new for yourself and gain experience.
3. It is worth following the reward system. That is, for every completed task, you need to thank yourself. At the same time, both tasks and rewards can be minimal (after cleaning is completed, you can watch TV).
4. It is important to communicate as much as possible.
5. If there are no relatives who could relieve the woman of the responsibilities of caring for the baby, then you can use the services of a nanny. It is not at all necessary to hire her for the whole week; sometimes a few days are enough.
6. There is no need to artificially create, let alone exaggerate, the problem. It is important to realize that a great miracle happened and life was given to a new person. This cannot cause depression.

Symptoms prolonged depression you can find out here.

Here are the symptoms of anxious depression.

nerv.hvatit-bolet.ru

Consulting: Ekaterina Andreevna Nikitenko

I have always been a rather pessimistic person, who thinks and reflects a lot. This caused me some inconvenience, but it didn’t really interfere with my life. After the birth of the child, the situation changed. Now I understand that I need the help of a specialist to cope with the situation and begin to enjoy life.

The child is now a little over a year old. All this time it was not easy for my husband and I, but Lately it became very difficult. I am very mentally tired, tired of the emotional swing: after a short rest for a day or two, I completely normal person, I make plans, manage to do a lot of necessary things, but then I have a breakdown from literally any nonsense. For example, a child refuses breakfast, I start to freak out, cry, get angry. For a long time now, at such moments, I have begun to think about suicide, but not from the point of view that I wanted to do it, but from the point of view that it would be a way to get rid of such torment for myself and

loved ones. After prolonged tears, a feeling of exhaustion sets in and there is no more strength for anything. And this happens again and again. I would like to break this vicious circle, stop taking it out on the child, and learn to enjoy life and communication with the child.

Firstly, it’s easy for me when my husband is at home. In his presence, I have better control over myself, situations that usually cause me irritation, in his presence I can tolerate and respond adequately to them. My husband copes quite well with the child (although not as ideally as I would like) and can keep him to himself when I need to rest. We have already discussed the possibility of my husband switching to remote work, but his bosses are against it.

Secondly, I noticed that if I spend my weekends outside the house (yoga, shopping trips, meeting with friends), then the week then goes easier. In this case, the problem is that a lot of things accumulate during the week, both at home and with my husband, that I cannot spend every weekend outside the house.

Unfortunately, I cannot find resources in myself or at home to restore strength. During periods of recovery, it seems that now I will plan everything, organize the day, etc., but in fact Small child- not a robot, and all plans quickly collapse. In this case, I do not show loyalty and tolerance, but immediately slip into hysterics.

will learn to calmly respond to my daughter’s behavior that differs from my “wants” (for example, with food. If she doesn’t eat what I give her or the amount that I would like her to eat, so that I react to it calmly, and not irritated.) In my head I understand perfectly well that my aggression is senseless and stupid, but I can’t do anything, my emotions take over.

Unfortunately, I cannot find resources in myself or at home to restore strength.

Psychologist, Clinical Psychologist

for example, with food. If she doesn't eat what I give her or the amount that I would like her to eat, so that I react to it calmly and not get irritated.

Do you know such a psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya? She has a wonderful video on the Internet, “When Mom is at Zero.” Maybe you will be somehow supported by the words and topics raised in this seminar.

Yes, I heard about her, even read some articles. I keep wanting to read her books, but I just can’t find the strength to do it.

In my head I understand perfectly well that my aggression is senseless and stupid, but I can’t do anything, my emotions take over.

Now, because of any small glitch, I immediately feel like everything is lost, I don’t care about the rest of the plans, since some point didn’t work out.

Even after giving birth, problems emerged in my relationship with my mother, and some kind of resentment towards her appeared. I would also like to let her go.

How is your family’s relationship with food in general? When you were raised and during your childhood, were food issues strictly regulated? Did your ancestors have real hunger in their lives?

As a child, until I was two years old, I ate very poorly, like many children, I was a thin and active child. Then my mother moved with me to my grandmother and she began to fatten me up with songs and dances. As a result: I have been obese since childhood. She was one of the fattest in the class. At school, my mother bought me a lot of sweets; our family’s diet cannot be called healthy and balanced.

In college, I started trying to lose weight and went on diets. And to this day I can neither lose weight to the desired state and maintain the weight, nor accept myself in my current form. Over the past few years, weight has fluctuated from 57 to 70 kg. I understand that the values ​​are not critical, but this very situation of eternal expectation that one day I will look good is already quite boring.

My mother, grandmother, and aunt are all overweight.

What do you think you are angry about? What causes anger?

I had absolutely no experience interacting with babies; I saw mothers on the streets pushing a stroller with one leg, sitting on a bench, and reading books. I listened to stories about how people learn new professions while on maternity leave, etc. So I thought that I would walk with a stroller in the park, read books, engage in self-development, and creativity. I imagined maternity leave, but in my imagination there was absolutely no child. In fact, all last summer I carried my screaming daughter in my arms because she didn’t want to sleep or just lie in the stroller. There is also practically no time for self-development, and most importantly, no energy. When I have a free minute, I just stare at my phone.

Well, that is, you are, in principle, a perfectionist, and even more so in matters of daily routine and education? Do you generally strive to be an ideal mother?

Yes, I have perfectionism in everything, this has long been hindering me in many ways: both at work and in business. I also have some kind of unconstructive perfectionism: instead of methodically and consistently achieving the desired result, I freak out and give up everything.

Previously, we communicated, as it seemed to me, quite openly.

Otherwise, the relationship seemed to be good.

I thought some more. I'm angry that my efforts are wasted. I prepare food for my daughter, I try, but she might just spit it out or push the spoon away. I understand that most likely at this moment she simply doesn’t want to eat, but I still start to get angry.

It seems like you have to fight to defend your role adult woman and the child's mother.

Another reason for anger is the desire to keep everything under control. But this is impossible for any other person.

When my mother came to visit one day to meet her granddaughter, we quarreled. I expected help and support from her, and I clearly talked about it. And she came and started telling me that I was doing everything wrong with the child. I answered her sharply, she was offended and left.

We didn’t communicate for 2 weeks after that.

Yes, stand up for it, because your mother is you. Of course, your mother wants to remain only a mother, now she just experienced mother(and teach your adult daughter). But apparently your mother is not ready to accept, to try on the role of a grandmother. After all, no matter how old she is, the role of grandmother signals aging and fading. And realizing this can be sad and unbearable.

In general, it seemed to me that the birth of my granddaughter was a strong emotional shock for my mother. At first, it even seemed to me that she perceived my daughter as her daughter, and I seemed to have nothing to do with it. In conversation, my mother constantly asked: how is my (or our) daughter doing? It was unpleasant for me, but I didn’t say anything then. Now this is no longer the case, of course.

And you yourself stumble over control in your life.

Yes, I really like to control everything. Because of this, I have problems with delegating responsibilities, with “letting go” of the situation.

I can delegate something only if I completely trust the person, when I am 100% sure that the result will be exactly what I need.

Now you need to watch yourself, where is this excessive control that crushes nature. Where do you push it in yourself?

This is where I either don’t quite understand, or I can’t yet separate unnecessary control from what is necessary. Can you give an example of such a situation so that I can find something like this in my life by analogy?

Where are you putting pressure on him in raising his daughter?

With regard to my daughter, there are probably few situations where I would put pressure on her. After all, she is still quite small and does not yet actively show her “I”. For now, for the most part, this is a necessary control in terms of safety - do not go where it is dangerous, take away dangerous item, if it suddenly falls into her hands, stop using things for other purposes if it is unsafe (for example, she may start eating paper and cardboard). Excessive control just in terms of feeding my daughter. I think the constant phrases from my mother that my daughter was thin, had no cheeks, etc. played a role here. I understand the absurdity of these remarks, but still they remain a thorn in the brain.

As a child, until I was two years old, I ate very poorly, like many children, I was a thin and active child. Then my mother moved with me to my grandmother and she began to fatten me up with songs and dances. As a result: I have been obese since childhood.

I'm angry that my efforts are wasted. I prepare food for my daughter, I try, but she might just spit it out or push the spoon away. I understand that most likely at this moment she simply doesn’t want to eat, but I still start to get angry.

I also have some kind of unconstructive perfectionism: instead of methodically and consistently achieving the desired result, I freak out and give up everything.

Did I want to be an ideal mother - probably not.

I guess I’m mostly tired of this tossing from side to side.

Excessive control just in terms of feeding my daughter. I think the constant phrases from my mother that my daughter was thin, had no cheeks, etc. played a role here. I understand the absurdity of these remarks, but still they remain a thorn in the brain.

Very sad story! Can you set your boundaries in relationships?

Boundaries are hard. It seems to me that only recently did my mother begin to somehow distance herself from interfering in my life. She always told me that I should tell her everything, and I got used to sharing a lot with her. But most often this does not bring joy, because my mother often does not approve of my plans and actions. I would like her understanding, but in response I hear that I came up with another stupidity. Apparently, my mother wants me to lead the same lifestyle as her, but I wouldn’t want that at all.

Can you articulate to your mother what kind of help and support you want?

Yes, it was formulated and asked to behave in a certain way. Useless. Mom will no longer change her view on many things, she will not change her behavior.

She will listen to me, nod, but will remain unconvinced and behave as before.

If you draw her attention to this again, she will say in response: eggs don’t teach a chicken, or if you live with mine, then you’ll understand.

Can you explain what your brain brings out?

Well, for example, the time after the birth of the child was difficult. Colic, sleepless nights, practically tied to the child all day long, the deterioration of my health, a lot of conflicting information and recommendations on what can and cannot be done in relation to the baby, etc. I openly told my mother that I don’t need criticism now, I criticize myself so much that it doesn’t seem like enough. I need support, words that I’m doing everything right, that everything will work out, etc. Having arrived to visit, my mother began from the doorway: why is it not done like that, and why is it not cleaned here, and many, many other reasons. The most interesting thing is that my mother is not at all an authority for me in matters of raising children. I believe that she did a lot of things wrong towards me. I myself try to rely on modern recommendations and opinions. When I tried to explain my point of view to my mother, to give arguments, the answer was either the sacred “You’ve become too smart now, we raised you somehow,” or she agreed, but as if she were agreeing with a fool, just not to argue, and that’s all will remain the same in his opinion and will say the same thing again.

Did your mom tell you about you when you were tiny? Apparently, my mother had a lot of feelings about that period.

Yes, I told you often. She says it was relatively easy for her, she was young and “didn’t worry” 🙂 and after 2 years we moved to my grandparents, and there they were mainly involved in my upbringing.

depression on maternity leave

Why does depression occur during maternity leave?

Why does depression occur during maternity leave?

Why is depression dangerous?

7. In depression, nutrition is disrupted: a person is prone to drinking large quantity sweets and products with high content carbohydrates. And this is the reason for the development diabetes mellitus. Research shows that diabetes and depression are interrelated diseases.
8. People suffering from depression are prone to obesity.
9. Prolonged depressed mood reduces a person's mental abilities.
10. Long-term untreated depression is the cause of the development of chronic pain. And often physiological reasons Such pain cannot be identified during a medical examination. Treatment chronic pain When you are in a depressed mood, it becomes much more difficult.
11. People with depression experience poorer performance immune system. As a result, they suffer from infectious diseases more often than others.
12. The worst thing is that depression is the cause of cancer.
13. Monotonous life. The first time after giving birth, the woman is near the baby, and this space does not change for her. There is no time left for communication, much less entertainment. If every day is similar to each other and consists of a cycle of endlessly repeating events, then sooner or later emotional exhaustion occurs.
14. Changing appearance, a woman’s dissatisfaction with her appearance. This is due to the fact that after childbirth a woman’s figure changes. And this, in turn, is the reason increased irritability, because efforts to be beautiful become futile.
15. Lack of opportunity for self-realization and self-affirmation.
16. Limited or lack of communication. It often happens that a young mother has to communicate in a “childish” language. But a natural need is to communicate with people. As a result, a woman is highly likely to have a nervous breakdown.
17. a feeling of weakness that does not go away even after rest;
18. positive emotions cease to be a source of former joy;
19. the emergence of feelings of guilt, self-deficiency;
20. emotional background decreases;
21. severe emotional exhaustion when nothing makes a woman happy;
22. she is overcome by thoughts of how to escape from home;

Don't lose your health

The period of childcare is very stressful for a woman. And you don’t need to think that within 3 years the young mother will take a break from work. Quite the opposite: caring for a child is that very job, and it is very stressful and difficult.

23. Condition wellness and vigor - this is a dream during the day. You should try to sleep during the day when you put your baby to bed. This best vacation for a tired body.
24. Before going to bed, you can take a relaxing bath. It will remove negative emotions and set you up for night rest. This will make your sleep much stronger. It is recommended to add a little to the water sea ​​salt or natural essential oils.
25. You definitely need to play sports. Regular and easy exercise will improve your tone and drive away depression. You definitely need to set aside time for outdoor activities: they allow you to feel a physical and emotional boost.
26. Under no circumstances should you resort to drinking alcohol. It is not an antidepressant, and in most cases it only worsens the problem.

Nature is programmed that sooner or later almost every woman begins to want a child. She makes plans and dreams of how she will spend her maternity leave. However, after giving birth, especially if the child is the first, the woman faces unforeseen difficulties (lack of sleep, the baby’s whims, the inability to relax and take time to care for herself). All this contributes to the development of symptoms in women postpartum depression. The first months after the birth of a baby are a time when the strength of relationships in a young family is often tested.

Depression during maternity leave occurs especially often in sensitive and emotional women. They are naturally sociable and open-minded. Construction emotional connections with other people is a vital necessity for them.

It is not surprising that forced solitude and limited communication while a woman is “on maternity leave” causes her to experience a state of emotional deficiency, which she often feels as depression. People of this type have a huge emotional range and it is unnatural to limit it only to communication with their husband and child. As a result of the lack of realization of the emotional range, young mothers develop maternity depression: tearfulness appears, apathy sets in, and sometimes there are hysterics and panic attacks.

If a woman decides to have a child under pressure from her husband or driven by the need to realize her reproductive function up to 35-40 years old, but at the same time she has no need for motherhood, then it is likely that she will develop postpartum depression.

Factors contributing to depression

Appearance depressive state The following factors contribute:

• Chronic fatigue. It is especially strong in the first four months after the birth of a child. At this time, the baby often suffers from gases caused by intestinal immaturity and is prone to bouts of evening crying. If, in addition, there are problems with lactation, then the woman does not know what to do and feels literally exhausted. Hence the tearfulness and despondency. In this case, we must remember that all this is a temporary phenomenon and in just a couple of months life will return to normal.
• Monotony. If a mother on maternity leave needs communication, then you should not isolate yourself within four walls for a long time. Beginning with one month old You can walk with your child in almost any weather, and a little later you can visit friends and even go shopping.
• Dissatisfaction with the figure. Often after giving birth, a woman’s appearance undergoes changes, which is very upsetting for the young mother. Especially if the husband directly expresses his complaints to her. This is not a reason to isolate yourself. Correction of diet and physical activity Over time, they will help return the body to its former shape and get rid of depression.
• Lack of experience. Women who have given birth to their first child often feel that they cannot cope with parenting and are doing everything wrong. As a result, they develop a feeling of inferiority. In this case, it is better to read the relevant literature and listen to the advice of mothers with children.

How to cope

To prevent the onset of depression during parental leave, psychologists recommend adhering to certain recommendations.

If it is difficult for a woman to cope with raising a child on her own, she needs to talk frankly with her husband and determine what responsibilities he is ready to take on. The conversation should be without shouting and complaints. But you should be prudent: if your spouse needs to get up early for work, you shouldn’t burden him with caring for the child at night.

During periods when it seems that everything is not going as it should, in order not to fall into depression, it is important to remember that there are no ideal parents. It is impossible to always do everything to the maximum. Even though sometimes you won’t be able to look perfect or wash the floor once again before your husband returns from work, you shouldn’t make a problem out of it.

For women for whom self-realization is important, remote work or training will help them get out of depression. By devoting a certain period of daytime to these activities, a woman will be able to avoid degradation and make good use of her maternity leave.

Sometimes you can relax total control and let the baby run the house. And while the child is busy, you can quietly read or drink a cup of tea. Early child development is good, but everything should be in moderation. Everyday activities take a mother a lot of time and often turn out to be tiring for the baby. Sometimes it’s enough just to draw a little, read a book or make some Easter cakes.

Physical activity and long walks will help cope with the development of postpartum depression. This will allow the child to be in the fresh air for a long time, and the mother to maintain good health. physical fitness and an even mood.

To take a break from homework, it is advisable to set aside a couple of hours a week to communicate with friends. At this time, you can visit a cafe, beauty salon or go shopping. If there is absolutely no one to replace a young mother during her vacation, it is advisable to hire a nanny. In this case, a woman can even combine child care with study or part-time work.

Therapy for depression

Drug treatment of women during lactation is not permissible. In case of emergency, the child is transferred to artificial feeding and only after that they prescribe potent drugs: antidepressants and tranquilizers. Typically the use of such strong drugs indicated only if the woman had any mental disorders before pregnancy or if they appeared for the first time, but were pronounced and did not lend themselves to methods of psychocorrection.

Antidepressants show excellent therapeutic effect, but their use is possible only under the strict supervision of a doctor. Many of them have certain contraindications and side effects.

Aromatherapy is considered a gentle method. To do this, oils are added to the bath during bathing and used in an aroma lamp. The selection of oils should also be carried out by a doctor, since hypersensitivity they can cause harm. Oils of lavender, orange, lemon balm, and cedar have a good calming effect.

It is impossible to deny that a woman with affective disorder psychics can become pregnant and give birth to a child. Of course, then she will be depressed while on maternity leave. Childbirth, as a powerful stress and a phenomenon that leads to objective changes in the psyche, can also become a cause for depression. Then it will occupy some kind of middle place - between somatic and reactive depression. In both cases we are talking about medical problem, mental disorder. It is dangerous because it becomes a background for suicide or occurs in parallel with some other neuroses or psychoses. Patients not only experience sleep and appetite disturbances, but the disturbances themselves show signs of syndromes. All other cases are not related to medical problems, and women are advised to walk more in the fresh air.

Many women experience depression while on maternity leave.

The complexity of this situation is that when prescribing a treatment regimen it is necessary to take into account possible influence on the fetus or child while breastfeeding. But this is if the patient is diagnosed with depression, she is diagnosed and we are dealing with depressive episode. After childbirth, about 80% of women change greatly in a psychological sense, but this does not mean that they are sick. Some become more withdrawn, while others experience conditions with symptoms similar to neurasthenia. By the way, the latter is much more common than depression. But we have developed a strong tendency to call everything depression, even if a person suffers from constipation or is haunted by obsessive thoughts.

In order to talk about depression, certain criteria must be met. But they are often definite only in classic version when the depressive triad is clearly noticeable. In practice, such “classics” are very rare. Moreover, according to statistics, postnatal depression, as maternity depression is correctly called, is no more common than a number of other disorders. The priority is not depression. The most common are obsessive types of deviations, neurasthenia, anxiety disorders various types. Exactly depression after childbirth- this is something that resembles more medical folklore.

Postpartum depression occurs for a variety of reasons

What else do young mothers experience?

Intrusive thoughts that something bad could happen to the baby. In the form of a phobia, this causes the desire to remove everything sharp objects, anything that can hurt. Obsessive thoughts can wake you up in the middle of the night and force you to put away some rattle, otherwise you might suddenly swallow it and choke. Begins panic fear drafts and anything else that could harm the child. Sometimes a certain compulsivity arises, a belief in personal signs, a fear of the evil eye and damage appears.

One patient said that the birth of a child caused her following symptoms obsessive-compulsive disorder. As soon as she left the baby, thoughts came to mind that he was lying on the edge and could fall or swallow something, or get burned by something. She checked gas appliances, irons and had already lost the ability to somehow control herself in this regard. At the same time, she was no more than 20 percent aware that this was a painful manifestation of maternal love, a mental disorder, but she was 80 percent sure that it was impossible to get rid of it. What if the psychotherapist cures her, she stops caring for the baby, and then something terrible happens to him. Agree, it's a difficult situation.

As for how depression manifests itself during maternity leave, most often it is an apathetic type and a certain version of depersonalization. Patients complain that they act like biorobots. This is explained by a completely natural defensive reaction of the psyche, which is aimed at maintaining working capacity. Firstly, having a child is a huge responsibility. Secondly, his mother feels a love for him that she has never felt for anyone. To maintain the ability to act in such a situation, the psyche creates a complex of self-estrangement. About the same thing happens to doctors, military personnel, rescuers who are forced to act in extreme conditions. And they themselves go beyond the ordinary.

The following symptoms are typical for depression while on maternity leave: apathy, irritability, constant fatigue

Therefore, it is not necessary to rush to eliminate your condition and think about how to get rid of depression while on maternity leave in all cases. About some negative consequences You can talk only when it depresses the woman herself too much, interferes with her duties, and does not help, and if the maternity leave is already over, but the depression still does not go away.

Usually, articles on this topic write quite strange things. Let’s try to indicate the most important thing, collect the most necessary...

The most important thing in several points

• There is no specific “female” depression. Either we are dealing with a problem in a medical sense, or there is no problem in nature. Maybe there is something else, but not depression.
• When diagnosing great attention is given to subjective assessments. This is not the case when the patient diagnoses himself only, but it does not arise without his participation. Take the Zang Self-Rating Depression Inventory and fill it out. If he shows normal condition or light form, then throw everything out of your head and enjoy life as it is. You need to take some measures when a problem interferes with your life. If you have at least medium shape, then it probably interferes. And lightness after childbirth is quite understandable and understandable. Don't be afraid of a little depersonalization. This helps you work and take care of your child.
• Do not trust information that there are any natural antidepressants. Sometimes it is a complex of drugs, and some of them are not even natural. Without consultation with good doctor don't take anything. We mean primarily the period of pregnancy and breastfeeding.
• Fortunately for us, psychotherapy is not limited to medications. Ways independent work much more than you might think. Let's add to this meditation, yoga, qigong and psychological methods, which are more similar to yoga - auto-training, for example. And Christian prayers should not be forgotten.

• Meditation, yoga and prayer are not vitamins. Everything is always more difficult and multifaceted. Here's one interesting example. The woman suffered from depression while on maternity leave. What to do? She decided that good benefit They will bring the usual prayers. But, being a suspicious person, she created a lot of problems for herself. She began to develop a real obsessive-compulsive disorder. She herself decided, came up with the idea that if she did not read a certain prayer three times before going to bed, then the child would be in trouble. First the prayers. Then obligatory trips to church and lighting a candle for good health. Then you had to enter the church in a certain way. So she became a slave to personal rituals, and only got to see a psychotherapist when her husband posed the question bluntly. It is not the prayers that are to blame, not Orthodoxy, but the emergence and development of the disorder.
• If someone tells you that everything mental is very serious, then he is right. If someone thinks that this is a trifle, then too, but this truth is unique. Problems seem like nothing to those who have parted with them. For example, a patient who experienced panic attacks I could no longer live. He thought about suicide not because of a deep clouding of his mind, but due to the fact that panic attacks did not allow him to live normally. When they managed to defeat them, he recalled with surprise how such a trifle was inflated by him into such a huge problem. They tell you that depression is nothing, but you don’t believe it. But think for yourself that this is nonsense and everything can be fixed.
• You need to take some measures in the right mood. So, if you decided that as a measure you need to engage in self-improvement in a broad sense, sign up for some courses vocational training or do something similar that develops you, then don’t do it against depression. At the core of the problem are unmet needs. Not just the needs to buy things or improve living conditions, but also spiritual ones. So you satisfy your needs, and think less about depression. The time will come and she will “fall off” herself.
• Don't deceive yourself. You read in a magazine or on a website that you need to please yourself with something. Buy a mall good thing in the store, as psychologists strongly advise. You buy something, but it doesn’t bring you any joy. And it only gets worse for you. Don't buy anything against depression - it's absurd. You buy the item if you like it. Leave depression alone. Well, what is it? Everything revolves around this topic.

You often don’t have to fight depression while on maternity leave, as it goes away on its own

There's a little bit in the ending that some new mothers might not like. Don't build everything around the child. Judge for yourself... You constantly have the topic of a child and depression in your head. Don’t forget about your husband and sex with him, go to the movies, theaters, walk in the parks without a child at least sometimes. The psyche tends to get tired. She does not rest in her sleep; during her sleep she tinkers with images and experiences. The psyche rests when it switches. Give her this opportunity.

Depression while on maternity leave is a fairly common phenomenon. There is no need to think that it appears temporarily. Prolonged stress can be dangerous to a woman's health. Let's look at why depression develops during maternity leave, how it manifests itself and how to avoid it.

Why is depression dangerous?

Each of us has heard about emotional burnout. A person's internal reserve of strength is not unlimited. A person suffers from a depressed mood, his sleep is disturbed, he is overcome by suspiciousness, shyness, and indecisiveness. All these are signs of depression, which often develops in women on maternity leave. If left untreated, this condition can become uncontrollable and cause harm.

Research shows that depression can cause many diseases:

1. First of all, depression increases the risk of developing heart attack. Long-term depressed mood is a path to the development of cardiovascular pathologies.
2. With depression, eating is disrupted: a person tends to eat large amounts of sweets and foods high in carbohydrates. And this is the cause of the development of diabetes. Research shows that diabetes and depression are related diseases.
3. People suffering from depression are prone to obesity.
4. Prolonged depressed mood reduces a person's mental abilities.
5. Long-term untreated depression is the cause of the development of chronic pain. Moreover, often the physiological causes of such pain cannot be determined during a medical examination. Treatment of chronic pain with depressed mood becomes much more complicated.
6. People with depression have a weakened immune system. As a result, they suffer from infectious diseases more often than others.
7. The worst thing is that depression is the cause of cancer.

Causes

Even if a child is calm, this does not mean that he does not require attention. The result is sleepless nights constant pressure attention and anxiety for the health of the little creature. Strength gradually decreases, fatigue accumulates. Because of this, the mother becomes inattentive, tired, and absent-minded.

Postpartum sadness and despondency develop for the following reasons:

1. Extreme fatigue. It is most pronounced in the first time after childbirth. It is typical that young mothers feel increased irritability and even alienation.
2. Monotonous life. The first time after giving birth, the woman is near the baby, and this space does not change for her. There is no time left for communication, much less entertainment. If every day is similar to each other and consists of a cycle of endlessly repeating events, then sooner or later emotional exhaustion occurs.
3. Changing appearance, a woman's dissatisfaction with her appearance. This is due to the fact that after childbirth a woman’s figure changes. And this, in turn, is the cause of increased irritability, because efforts to be beautiful become futile.
4. Women who have had their first birth develop the so-called bad mother syndrome. They unreasonably think that they can’t do anything and can’t cope with the baby. In addition, all words and advice from adults are perceived as teachings, which only aggravates the situation.
5. Lack of opportunity for self-realization and self-affirmation.
6. Lack of time to rest. A woman cannot be alone for at least half an hour, buy something, cook, watch TV, etc. Naturally, sooner or later her nerves begin to fray.
7. Limited or lack of communication. It often happens that a young mother has to communicate in a “childish” language. But a natural need is to communicate with people. As a result, a woman is highly likely to have a nervous breakdown.

Symptoms

You can suspect depression based on the following signs:

• irritability (young mothers begin to get irritated by every little thing);
• increased fatigue;
• drowsiness during the day, sleep disturbance at night;
• a feeling of weakness that does not go away even after rest;
• positive emotions cease to be a source of former joy;
• the emergence of feelings of guilt, self-deficiency;
• the appearance of a feeling of lack of time (the woman feels that she does not have the strength to perform ordinary duties);
• emotional background decreases;
• severe emotional exhaustion when nothing makes a woman happy;
• she is overcome by thoughts of how to escape from home;
• communication with her husband also does not bring any pleasure, which ultimately worsens the situation in the family.

Don't lose your health

The period of childcare is very stressful for a woman. And you don’t need to think that within 3 years the young mother will take a break from work. Quite the opposite: caring for a child is that very job, and it is very stressful and difficult.

How to get out of depression and how to prevent the development of chronic fatigue?

These tips will help new mothers:

1. The condition for good health and vigor is sleep during the day. You should try to sleep during the day when you put your baby to bed. This is the best rest for a tired body.
2. Before going to bed, you can take a relaxing bath. It will remove negative emotions and set you up for a night's rest. This will make your sleep much stronger. It is recommended to add a little sea salt or natural essential oils to the water.
3. You definitely need to play sports. Regular and easy exercise will improve your tone and drive away depression. You definitely need to set aside time for outdoor activities: they allow you to feel a physical and emotional boost.
4. Reading - The best way keep yourself busy during your leisure time.
5. Depression while on maternity leave will disappear if you regularly communicate with those you care about. Spend at least a little time communicating and see how your mood improves.
6. Some child care responsibilities can be redistributed to a husband or grandmother. A young mother should devote at least an hour a day to rest. You don’t have to look up to other mothers, how they are busy raising and caring for a child all day long, because your health is completely different.
7. Under no circumstances should you resort to drinking alcohol. It is not an antidepressant, and in most cases it only worsens the problem.
8. You should always set yourself realistic and achievable goals. This way you won't feel like you can't handle anything.
9. You need to be able to determine for yourself the so-called crisis point, after which you need to quit some things and relax. Otherwise, emotional exhaustion is inevitable.

You need to accept the fact that it is necessary to rest, no matter how busy your daily schedule may be. After all, anyone, even the most strong body not iron. You need to find time for the most common feminine pleasures: going to nail salon or a hairdresser, for a massage, etc. Even a meeting in a cafe with girlfriends can brighten up the endless bustle.

Activities Options

Maternity leave is not only time to care for a child. If a woman uses the time she has rationally, she will be able to use it for self-development, self-improvement and other useful things. Naturally, there will be no room for despondency on such a vacation.

Here are the most suitable methods keep yourself busy with useful and enjoyable things:

1. Easy and stress-free remote work. You can perform part of your work responsibilities remotely, that is, from home. This is also good way earn some money.
2. You can also think about a pleasant activity in your free time. This is sewing, knitting, etc. Start your own blog and start filling it out: you had no idea how interesting it is. The only thing that needs to be taken into account for this is the child’s daily routine. It is recommended to adapt specifically to its mode.
3. Try to raise intellectual level. Maternity leave is not a hindrance to this. Moreover, the time has come to improve some of your knowledge and learn a foreign language.
4. Why not take a driving course while on maternity leave? Some women use this. Having mastered the art of manicure, nail extensions, etc., you can also earn some good money.
5. Even an ordinary trip to the store can be turned into a small celebration. To do this, you just need to take a closer look at the assortment of goods and buy something nice. Even a small purchase can lift your spirits. And by purchasing something to improve your home, you can update it, which also helps fight depression.
6. Bright clothes can drive away melancholy and improve your mood. It’s even better if your family wears cheerful clothes: this way you can organize a holiday for everyone.
7. There is no need to be shy about accepting someone's help. Moreover, it is necessary to forgive long-standing grievances and accept life as it is.
8. Locking yourself in is the worst thing that can happen. Try to discuss pressing issues with friends and family: this will make life brighter and more varied.

Treatment

IN in some cases it is necessary to resort to drug treatment depression during maternity leave.

It is shown only in extreme cases when other methods of influence do not help. Self-medication with antidepressants is under no circumstances allowed.

Antidepressants are enough potent drugs. Most of them are used only under strict supervision, since even a slight excess of the dosage contributes to the occurrence of side effects.

Good and at the same time effective method get rid of depression - aromatherapy. Essential oils can be used in a bath. Once in the body, they promote recovery peace of mind, uplifting mood. It is best to have a doctor select essential oils: self-treatment oils can be harmful in some cases. All oils should be used only natural: from artificial substitutes oils are of little use. Works best on the body essential oils lavender, lemon balm, rosemary, orange.

So, depression during childcare is completely preventable and treatable. However, it is still better not to bring yourself to such a state.