My husband is depressed: what should my wife do? Age risk zone. We encourage you to solve problems

Society has established such notions that men are not supposed to cry. Constant stress at work, quarrels with friends, disagreements in the family circle and other troubles can unsettle even the most persistent representative strong half humanity.

Causes of depression in men

• dismissal from service, demotion;
• low earnings;
• disagreements with colleagues, superiors;
• work that does not bring pleasure;
• difficulties with the opposite sex;
• divorce;
• pre-retirement age;
• unstable psycho-emotional state;
• unrealized potential;
• change of permanent residence;
• loss of a relative or loved one;
• risky work activities;
• work in the evening and at night;
• constant business trips (including unplanned ones);
• expecting a child;
• military service.

We have given the most common reasons why males become depressed. If the psycho-emotional state is unstable, there may be no reason.

Important attention should be paid to genetics. There are people who are constantly depressed. At the slightest manifestation of joy, they become isolated and again stop enjoying life.

Constant tension leads to nervous breakdowns and mental disorders, which are quite difficult to return to a positive direction.

Symptoms of depression in men

It's no secret that men have more responsibility than women. There are problems in the family and age periods, and general social factors. To correctly assess the state of the faithful, you need to carefully monitor his behavior.

We list the most popular signs that characterize male depression:

• unjustified aggression;
• excessive irritability;
• fits of rage for no reason;
• low self-esteem;
• uncertainty;
• laziness, apathy;
• unstable mood;
• blood pressure surges;
• insomnia;
• loss of appetite;
• low libido;
• change in body weight;
• increased anxiety;
• slow reaction;
• slurred speech;
• constant apathy, fatigue;
• craving for alcohol;
• passion for gambling;
• desire to do extreme sports;
• chest pain;
• headache, migraine.

There are often situations when a woman tries to support her life partner with all possible ways. At the same time, she clutches her head, not knowing what to do. We have put together an effective collection of the most effective “antidepressants”. So let's get started.

Method number 1. Stay Positive
Try to find the positives in the current situation. Was your spouse fired from your job? Convince him that there is career growth ahead in another company. Try to approach the situation with humor and overcome difficulties together.

Don’t try to accuse a man of all mortal sins, don’t call your partner a loser, a loser, or other offensive words. Don’t say phrases like “I told you so,” “you should have listened to me,” “I’m right, as always.” Instead, repeat “we will get through everything together”, “you can handle it”, “you the best man in the world".

Method number 2. Become your partner's muse
Help your partner gain strength to cope with all troubles. Become his support, muse, support. If a man has ideas that you think are absurd, support them. As a rule, the most ridiculous ideas become the beginning of something grandiose. Perhaps, having found his muse, the companion will perk up and look at the situation in a new way.

Don't let your partner pull away and withdraw into himself, otherwise you won't be able to do anything in the future. Prolonged depression will cover him completely, it will be more difficult for you to support the man. At this stage, create all the conditions to make your partner feel comfortable, allow him to open up, remain positive, even if he decides to snap or be rude.

Method No. 3. Change your scenery
The constant rhythm of life in the “work-home-work” style heats up the nerves, as a result of which even the most strong man will not withstand such a load. For this purpose, it is recommended to change the situation. You can make it a habit to “walk” your spouse several times a week, or better yet, every day. It is not necessary to come up with something grandiose; a trip to the cinema or bowling alley, a walk in the park, or a visit to the sauna (bathhouse, swimming pool) is enough.

Invite your spouse to go on a picnic with the whole family, barbecue, swim in the lake/river. If you have a feeling that a man is tired of everyday life, send him fishing with friends. You can also gather friends at home, order pizza, buy beer and watch football. Start from those hobbies that are interesting to your loved one.

Method number 4. Watch your man's diet
Few people give due importance proper diet, but in vain. Thanks to the optimal ratio of slow and fast carbohydrates, proteins and fats, the body works in full mode. This gives you more strength to make important decisions, as well as a fighting spirit to conquer heights.

Since the companion is depressed, it is very important that his food is sweet. It’s no secret that sugar is conventionally called the “hormone of happiness,” so take that as a starting point. Bring your partner breakfast in bed; along with coffee, be sure to serve pancakes with jam, delicious croissants or a slice of cake.

Men love meat, this fact has been proven many times. Cook chops, bake chicken in the oven, cook pork in French. At the same time, do not forget about fish of all types and varieties; seafood helps improve your mood. Make sure that the refrigerator is always full of delicious food.

Method No. 5. Do common things
Any psychoemotional disorder It manifests itself many times more strongly if you sit idle. Try to keep your man busy with things that do not require high physical and mental resources. This could be watching an interesting movie or walking under the night sky, in any case, the partner will be busy.

As for housework, it shouldn't be boring. Ask your betrothed to help you with cleaning or cooking, while turning on his favorite music to the fullest. Laugh, fry pancakes together or cook other interesting dishes.

Method number 6. Go on vacation together
A trip to the seaside or any pastime abroad will be an excellent antidepressant. Go on a joint vacation, ignore all the problems, buy a last-minute ticket and start packing your suitcase. Of course, not everyone has the opportunity to commit such an act. Nevertheless, it won’t hurt a man to unwind.

It is not necessary to buy a tour for 10-14 days; you can get by with a three-day vacation. Depart on Friday evening, arrive on Monday morning. As for budget destinations, these include Turkey, Egypt, Cyprus, and Greece. Higher pricing policy for tours to Europe and America.

If it is not possible to go abroad, go travel around your country. Visit relatives or friends living in big cities, study architecture, collect photographs, spend time away from everyday worries.

Method No. 7. Don't let a man become isolated
Many people believe that they can live without social communication, but this misconception is erroneous. A person visits a store, exchanging a few phrases with the saleswoman, and goes to work every day, communicating with colleagues. There are a lot of examples, but there is only one conclusion: society is the basis of everything.

Don't let your partner withdraw into himself, sitting all day in front of a game console or TV. Try to get him outside or to visit mutual friends. Go shopping together that will be of interest not only to you (electronics, fishing or camping equipment, a car dealership, etc.).

Don't let a man be alone with own thoughts, otherwise he will get bogged down in them. Upon arrival home, the partner should be overwhelmed, and not think about “what” and “why”.

Method No. 8. Show affection and attention

In cases where a man cannot contain his anger, aggression, malice, constantly lashing out at you, do not react. On this moment he makes decisions in a fit of emotion, a little later the storm will subside. Calmly leave the room, catch your breath, then return and caress your partner.

Each girl decides for herself exactly how this should be done. Some seduce a companion and drown in passionate sex, others provide support, which consists of stroking, light kisses, and diminutive phrases.

Method number 9. Fight insomnia
As mentioned earlier, depression manifests itself in constant insomnia, apathy, and fatigue. It is easy to understand that in modern world With such emotional components it is difficult to maintain a full rhythm of life. Surely, before going to bed, a man scrolls through the accumulated questions in his head, thinks through failed dialogues and is “loaded” with other similar problems.

For your part, you can help a man by monitoring his sleep. Make sure your companion goes to bed before midnight and don't disturb him before or after you go to bed. If possible, prepare a bath with aromatic oils, relax your man with a massage. Speak quietly, slowly and calmly, and avoid disagreements before going to bed.

Agree with the man to fall asleep at the same time, if desired, turn on light music. You can also watch a comedy to lighten things up a bit. Act according to the situation, the main thing is that the man should be completely relaxed before leaving bed.

It is difficult to bring a man out of depression if you do not have sufficient knowledge regarding human psychology. Don't let your partner withdraw into himself, go on a joint vacation, fight insomnia. Get ready Tasty food, pamper your partner with a massage, become a muse for him. Stay positive, be attentive and affectionate, and do things together.

Video: how to get rid of depression on your own

We are surrounded by liars. Our culture celebrates masculinity. It's as if the world isn't interested in knowing how you feel. It downplays women and minorities, but it also hurts men. Undoubtedly.

Men suffer because from childhood they are taught not to give vent to their feelings, they are assured that feelings have no value and should be forgotten as soon as possible. Depression also lies. She whispers that no one cares about you. It is incredibly difficult to overcome these stereotypical beliefs and speak out frankly. But asking for help is not weakness.

I'm tall, big, strong. I have always been proud of my good physical fitness and health. But with depression, my self-esteem blew away like the wind - I felt empty both physically and spiritually. But at the same time, it helped to free myself from stereotypes. With all my external attitude, I often felt fragile, broken and could not understand why. It was difficult to talk about this at first, but it feels good to open up to another person, to feel calmer, to feel understood. By talking about my feelings, I began to better understand what was happening to me and why. Daniel Dalton

2. You may not even realize you're depressed.

Men don't talk about depression; they usually suppress their feelings. It’s easier for women in this regard: according to statistics, they are twice as likely to seek help from professionals and receive treatment. This is probably why men are three times more likely than women to have problems with drinking. They strive to numb the pain rather than deal with its cause. In addition, men in Russia are six times more likely than women to commit suicide. You could say that silence literally kills men. But there is another way out.

I was not diagnosed with depression until I was 30, but I have suffered from depression on and off since my youth. Having gone without treatment for so long, I developed an arsenal of bad habits and avoidance strategies. They helped me stop thinking about feelings I didn't want to know about. After some time I learned to overcome this, to replace bad habits useful and began to feel much better than, say, two and a half years ago. Just realizing that I was sick and undergoing a series of procedures helped me recover a lot. Daniel Dalton

3. It's okay to be a night owl

No you don't lazy man. Depression is debilitating. You feel bad, tired, sleepy, exhausted. And for most people with depression, these symptoms are worse in the morning. Most people are by nature early risers. But this does not mean that you should also be cheerful in the morning.

I don't feel well in the morning. More often than not, just waking up is a challenge. Getting up and getting dressed is the second test. After all the exhausting morning commute, I feel anxious, frustrated and exhausted. I don't want to seem rude, but smile, wave and say energetically " Good morning“I don’t want to. I need to calm down, live at my own pace and recharge. It's nothing personal, I really just don't have the strength to pretend. And that's okay. I can't do this in the morning. I'll smile and wave in the evenings. Daniel Dalton

4. You're not naturally moody.

When you are unable to control your mood, you lose faith in your strength. When you don't know how you'll feel in the next minute. When you can't control it. I didn't want to snap or complain or use that tone, but it happened. When I was younger, I thought that my moodiness, irritability, was a natural part of who I was. The realization that it was part of the depression and not part of me was overwhelming. This opened up a whole world of new possibilities. It turns out that I can enjoy life too! Who would have thought! Daniel Dalton

5. Depression mocks

Another lie depression tells you: “You are worthless, you are worthless.” It destroys self-esteem and distorts your self-image. It fills your mind with pessimistic thoughts that only worsen your mood: “I'm a terrible person. I look terrible. I'm not worthy of love." It's hard to silence this voice, but you can calm it. You can treat yourself kinder. You wouldn't be able to stand it if stranger said that about your friend, don't let depression treat you that way.

Before I knew I was depressed, I felt rapid growth negative thoughts and sensations and looked for dopamine to fill the void. When I was 20, my pill substitutes were working out and casual sex. Later, when the depression got worse, I replaced them with food. I binged on carbohydrates, sugars, caffeine - anything that could give me a feeling of satisfaction. I didn’t have the strength to exercise, I gained weight. Not much, but enough for me to notice. It's enough for the voice in my head to start saying that I look disgusting. I started avoiding photographs and mirrors - I still don't have a mirror in my bathroom. I started working on myself, tried to accept myself and have come a long way. Going traveling is a great start for this. Daniel Dalton

6. It's okay to cancel plans.

Depression rarely comes alone. It appears with other disorders: anxiety, insomnia, social phobia. If you suffer from it alone, the pressure increases from friendships, relationships, social obligations: it seems to you that if you don’t pay enough attention to people, they will turn away from you, and this takes away the last of your strength. But depression is a disease. Skipping dinner because you have the flu is okay, as is canceling plans if you're not feeling well mentally. Your health should be your priority. Friends will understand this, and if not, most likely, this is not the best Good friends, for that matter.

Knowing in advance about an event at which I must attend and have fun is a heavy burden that I often try to get rid of. It's especially difficult with new friends or friends I haven't met for a long time. Sometimes at the end of the day I just need to go to a quiet place and recharge. And we are not talking about complete isolation. I'm rebooting so I can get back into the fight tomorrow. Daniel Dalton

7. ...but don't cancel all your plans

There are many activities that are not suitable for depressed and anxious person. For example, surprise parties are a complete bummer. Most group events are also extremely harmful. Birthdays, New Year, Christmas - in general, the time when the anticipation of fun is at its peak, can become an absolute nightmare.

Ask friends to let you know about plans in advance—you want the option to opt out. Don't agree to go where something doesn't suit you. Fun is relative. Having fun doesn't mean going to the best night out of your life. You can have fun lying on the sofa under a blanket and watching a movie.

Last New Year I stayed home, watched The Goonies and drank whiskey. I can not imagine best start of the year. One of my most harmful mantras is “I hate fun.” Of course, I'm not serious. What I'm really saying is that what's fun for one person won't necessarily be the same for another. I know what I enjoy, and when in doubt, I repeat to myself: “I love to dance. I love singing karaoke. I love watching movies. I love live music. I love having dinner and drinks one-on-one with someone.” Often I am prejudiced about certain things and think that I won’t like it, but I persuade myself to go. Sometimes I just need a little push. Daniel Dalton

8. It's all about small steps

Depression destroys hope. Not only does it prevent you from taking steps toward recovery and preventing you from seeing opportunities, but it also robs you of the ability to put one foot in front of the other. It's hard to realize that things can get better, much less understand how to get there.

My ex-girlfriend constantly asked me how I saw our future. “Happy, I would hope,” I answered. Vague wording just to reassure her. I didn't really have any ideas. I didn't know what I wanted or how to achieve it. When you have to fight every day, it's impossible to plan anything five years in advance. I was constantly in a bad mood, and the idea that I could be truly happy at some point did not seem realistic to me.

I still can't plan that far ahead, but now I can focus on the present. Life is not a series of 5 year plans, it is a series of small moments. I've found that if I can enjoy the little things, if I can enjoy each day, it becomes easier to look into the future. The steps to recovery are not always easy, but now I see that there is nothing difficult about going through them one by one. Daniel Dalton

9. It's okay not to want sex.

Depression affects libido. Low self-esteem and lack of energy can affect your sexual appetite and even lead to erection problems. Some antidepressants can affect not only erections, but also the ability to have an orgasm. Together they can transform your sex life into a real test.

Often male company can be depraved, but don’t let it put pressure on you. Your friends don't sleep with women as often as they say. If you have a friend and you are afraid that you will not be able to cope with your “responsibilities”, let her know about it. Communication helps, and perhaps together you will sooner find a solution to the problem. For example, you can always pay more attention to her. Or the two of you can build a blanket fort and hide there from the rest of the world. Daniel Dalton

10. Don't run away from problems

It is difficult to live actively with depression. Lack of energy, irritability, negativity, and constant cancellation of plans can put a lot of strain on relationships. But it is important to draw a line between illness and personality: you are not your depression, you are not a heavy burden. Sometimes everyone needs time alone, but understand that sometimes interacting with other people is a small step towards recovery. If you don't feel up to it, just meet with close friends: social groups reduce the manifestation depressive symptoms and prevent their reappearance.

My instincts often made me run away from problems. I wanted to go home quickly, I avoided people. After my last relationship failed, I went to the mountains, but began to feel completely miserable. Without company to care for me or influence me, my negative feelings and the thoughts intensified. I wanted to be alone, but quickly realized that I didn’t want to be alone forever. People can be very supportive if you give them a chance. Daniel Dalton

11. It's okay to be sad

Misconceptions and misinformation about depression are not only widespread and varied, but they are also very dangerous. People who have never experienced similar symptoms, may offer platitudes like “cheer up” or “you better try” without realizing what negative consequences their words can lead. It's not just normal to be sad, it's... healthy condition, it's human. But you don't have to be sad all the time. There are many ways to deal with this.

When I was first diagnosed with depression, I started taking antidepressants. They helped me get through nine very difficult months. I went through a difficult breakup and learned to manage depression. While I was taking the medications, it was difficult to feel anything. In general, I didn’t like this condition, I didn’t like how the pills affected my sex life. And I stopped taking them after nine months. I wanted to feel something, even if it wasn't a pleasant feeling. For many people, antidepressants are a lifesaver. For me they were additional means. I am lucky. With therapy, training, healthy diet I was able to do without them. Daniel Dalton

Seek support from people who understand what you are going through. Therapy helps. It's a slow process and there will be setbacks and failures. hard days. But then it gets better. You don't have to suffer alone. Don't be discouraged, stay close to those who have already been there.

Everything was fine, but then something happened, and it was as if he had been replaced. Behavior has changed dramatically, and it is unclear what the consequences of this are. You love him very much and want to help, so the first thing you do is go online.

You compare your observations with the articles and understand that the man has symptoms of depression. Making a diagnosis using materials from the Internet is not a problem today. The problem is different: how to recognize whether your loved one is really depressed, and if so, how to get a man out of depression.

Depression in men: monetary reasons

Since we are all different, different things cause depression and depression in us. It is also important to note that men have a feature that distinguishes them from women. We, Russian women, always look up to them and expect from them male actions and actions. They also differ among themselves into “real men” and “not so much.”

Based on this, we will understand how depression manifests itself in men, and what it usually means in reality. Let's identify the differences with the help of System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.

Let's take, for example, a man with a cutaneous vector. Wiry, fit. At proper development has self-discipline and tries to instill it in everyone around him. An athlete, a military man, a businessman, a person associated with the protection of the law, a middle manager, a person associated with trade. These are possible professions for a man with a skin vector.

The main desire of a leather worker is to be ahead of everyone, to overtake competitors in the competition. The properties of the body and the properties of the soul of such a man are created specifically in order to fulfill his desire. But it happens that, for reasons beyond our control, we encounter some difficulties in getting what we want. This may be due to development in childhood or, for example, to the situation in the country.

Your man is fired from his job. A crisis. Your man cannot find a decent job and, in order to feed his family, he goes wherever he takes him. This is where it hits him. This is extreme stress from the fact that he does not get what he wants: career, money. But this is not depression. And yet the question is “how to get out of stress skin man? remains relevant.

Male depression: when there is no honor and respect

And here is a man with an anal vector. As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says, such a man strives to become a professional in his field. To do this, he is given all the properties from nature: perfectionism, attention to detail, perseverance . And a slender body with long legs there's no point here. Such a man is squat, stocky, and his legs are often clubbed.

In the modern world with its values, it is more difficult for a man with an anal vector to find himself than for a man with a skin vector. If you want to live, know how to spin. But moving around deftly is not about the owner of the anal vector. Sometimes this happens because abnormal development in childhood or again for some reason external reasons that a man with an anal vector loses honor and respect. Then he is covered with bad conditions.

Where does a professional in his field receive honor and respect? From implementation at work. He does not receive honor and respect if for some reason he is busy with something other than his own business or loses his job. At home - family, the first of his values, from which he also expects honor and respect, because he is the owner of the house. But what about being an owner who cannot provide for his family?

Sometimes an anal man is told from all sides that he needs to be cool and earn a lot of money. And he, not having such desires, follows the lead of others’ opinions. And it turns out that it is not fulfilled own desires. Huge stress, but still not depression. And yet, I don’t want to see this suffering and I want to understand how to get a man with an anal vector out of stress.

A depressed man: when nothing makes sense

There is a single vector that, if unrealized, leads to real depression. This is a sound vector. Signs of depression in men with a sound vector are apathy, indifference to everything. He doesn't call when you are at a distance, not together. He seems to want to be left alone and doesn't communicate with anyone.

If in cases with other vectors you can somehow independently at least identify the cause of the so-called depression in your man, then in the case of the sound vector this will not be possible. It appears as if out of nowhere, and how long it can last is not at all clear. Sometimes it seems like forever. And you can get rid of it only after breaking up with the sound man. But this definitely won’t help lift a man out of depression.

Why is the depression of a man with a sound vector so special? Men with other vectors of desire are associated with completely earthly things. And even when a man visual vector, sublime and poetic, suffers from extreme stress after the death of a loved one - also very the real reason. The sound artist becomes depressed from the failure to fulfill a completely intangible desire.

The sound artist is often detached, self-absorbed, loving to be in silence and solitude, always thinking about some completely non-everyday things. System-vector psychology Yuri Burlana claims that the sound artist is trying to fulfill his cherished desire - to find the meaning of life. His own and all humanity around him. However, this is not so easy to do.

From childhood, it is vital for a sound artist to learn how to realize himself. However, if in childhood his ability to concentrate and look for answers to the most difficult questions was not developed in science or creativity, then in adult life this can sooner or later lead to depression. Is his depression dangerous? And how! Not always, but often it leads sound people to drugs and even suicide. It is vitally important to understand how to get a sonic man out of this state.

Depression in men: how to help

How to get a man with the skin vector out of stress if you can’t get him a job? How to get a man with an anal vector out of stress if you cannot give him honor and respect? How to get a sound man out of bad conditions if you can’t give him an answer to main question? How to cheer up your man, and is it possible? Is it possible to treat depression in a man, and is there a cure? Is it possible to overcome all these difficulties at home?

Unfortunately, it won't work here. in the usual ways. On the Internet and women's magazines There is a council to inspire men, supposedly you can arrange a second honeymoon. WITH beautiful lingerie, dinner by candlelight, change of scenery. This all has its place and is even useful for relationships, but it does not in any way help a man get out of bad conditions. And for a sound engineer, these poultices will be completely useless. When he is depressed, even testosterone seems to stop being produced because he has no desire for sex.

If a man is depressed, he can be helped. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan knows exactly how to get a skin person out of stress, how to get them out of stress anal man, and will definitely help bring a sound man out of depression. And a woman, as a source of inspiration, can become main reason stopping all types of bad conditions.

How to get a man out of depression: a universal answer

You can sift through a mountain of psychological literature, look through the monthly columns of psychologists in women's magazines, and even go to school to become a psychologist. However, this will not bring you any closer to answering the question of how to get your man out of stress, depression and other bad conditions.

From internal state A woman depends on the condition and behavior of her man. In order to become a source of infectious good conditions, you just need to deeply understand your man by his innate qualities and properties. Be able to feel it bad conditions like your own. But not in order to adopt them, but so that the man does not feel lonely. In order to feel support and true unity with your woman.

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan provides a lot of understandable and accurate knowledge. But what distinguishes it is that it gives multiple, sustainable result. Including in matters of relations between men and women.

A very common problem with which people turn to psychologists is the question of how to help to a loved one get out of depression. The problem is really relevant, because a person who is in a situation, for whom the future does not make sense, and life seems to be complete loneliness, does not have the opportunity to enjoy natural happiness - to be fulfilled in relationships, in society, in the family.

Destruction of one’s own “I” deprives a person of the opportunity to build normal relationships in a team and family, enjoy life and improve his personality. How to help loved ones suffering from unresolved internal problems and deep state depression?

Depression is not high on the list psychological problems, but in Lately There has been an increasing increase in the number of patients in this condition who are unable to. Doctors ancient Greece in such cases, a diagnosis of “melancholia” was made and patients were treated with herbal enemas, massage and opium tinctures.

Fortunately, modern psychology has moved far from such methods of treatment. Many clinics offer a range of services to remove patients from depressive state:

And it's not full list activities carried out to remove the patient from a state of self-flagellation. But main danger depression is its ability to be transmitted from one loved one to another. This fact is highlighted in the book Depression Is Contagious by Michael Yapko, an expert on depression. Where do the roots of depression come from and how can you help a loved one get out of a difficult life situation?

The diagnosis of depression is made by psychologists based on three main symptoms present:

• anhedonia (loss of opportunity);
• pathological orientation of thoughts (discussions about life as a thing devoid of meaning);
• lack of desire for anything motor activity coupled with a gloomy mood.

To put it simply, the state of depression can be characterized as a loss of faith in the best, a loss of the meaning of life, complete loneliness. Unlike a bad mood, depression has a long course and is stable. The patient perceives this state as complete despair, hopelessness, a path to nowhere.

This pathology is based on quite serious unresolved problems, which can be triggered by any serious factor - the death of a loved one, lack of understanding in the family, divorce, loss of a favorite job, frequent stressful situations.

Each depressive situation has its own history, its own roots and is expressed according to an individual scenario. Some patients withdraw into themselves, do not make contact with loved ones, and stop going to work and school. Others, on the contrary, begin to lead a riotous and violent lifestyle, causing pain not only to themselves, but also to those closest to them. Still others remain silent and demonstrate their suffering to others with their entire appearance.

How to help your loved ones get out of a difficult situation

Admitting to a person that he has fallen into depression is not yet a way to get rid of serious condition. And under no circumstances should the situation be left to chance. To get out of a depressed state, you need not only to work long and hard on yourself, but to accept the support of loved ones and relatives.

To support a loved one and help him get out of a depressed state, you need to take several steps so that the depressed person can:

Universal advice for everyone life situations does not exist, especially when the degree of depression is defined as severe. Mild degree You can try to eliminate it using the methods listed, but there is a risk of further aggravating the situation if you misunderstand and approach it.

It is necessary to consider the basic advice from psychologists that is given in the most common situations (when people turn to specialists for advice and help).

Husband's depression

How to help a husband get out of depression is a question for many wives who notice radical changes in their husband’s behavior. The complaints boil down to the fact that he increasingly tries to isolate himself and not let anyone near him, drinks alcohol in large quantities. In the absence of help and attention from the wife, the situation worsens - outbursts of aggression arise in the man, rudeness and assault, rage, and a threat to the life of both his own and his loved ones.

The reason may be hidden both in failures at work and in the field intimate life, misunderstanding on the part of the spouse. A mild degree of depression can be corrected independently.

What a wife needs to do to get her husband out of depression:

• insist on receiving competent treatment for depression;
• empathize and listen carefully to your husband’s complaints, no matter how strange they may seem;
• do not criticize;
• encourage attempts to change oneself and the world;
• allow the husband to relax in the area that brings him peace and satisfaction - let him go fishing or hunting, to meet old friends.

For some time you will have to sacrifice your own “I”, focusing on the common “WE”. Only then is it possible to resolve the situation and get the husband out of his depressed state. The same advice can be given to women who are not married, but are in a relationship and are asking how to help a man get out of depression.

Wife's depression

Unfortunately, few men turn to psychologists with the question of how to help their wife get out of depression, since most of them simply do not notice their spouse’s depressed state. Men get used to the fact that their wife plays the role of cook, mother and cleaner, forgetting that a woman is also vulnerable to stress.

It has its own reasons - lack of attention from the husband, or vice versa, his attempts to keep everything under control, fatigue from everyday problems that have to be solved alone, lack of love and warmth, postpartum psychosis, menopause period. There can be many factors, but the result is the same - from a kind, caring mother and wife, a woman turns into an often crying, hysterical and withdrawn person.

Help with mild degree depression can be done like this:

Danger home treatment depression in women is that many men do not fully understand the true desires and needs of a woman. Sometimes just compliments and attention are not enough, which further aggravates the situation and causes the wife to become secluded and withdrawn.

Need for professional help

Many people, before trying to persuade a depressed loved one, try to treat them on their own, using herbal sedatives, aromatherapy and spiritual conversations. Few of these attempts end successfully, but no one is able to predict the outcome of a depressive state (especially the most negative one).

Contacting a psychologist or psychotherapist is a necessary step for people who want to get out of depression themselves and get their loved ones out of this state. Even with professional support and assistance, the process of getting a person out of a withdrawn and depressed state can take months. Needless to say, playing home therapist doesn't always end well.

Anxiety and a natural desire to help a loved one should proceed in the right direction, with the help of the right steps, one of them is timely appeal to a specialist. A friendly pat on the shoulder is unlikely to help a person solve internal problems, and in the worst case, the lack of qualified help can lead to suicide.

Helping family and friends recover from a serious condition

How to help a friend get out of depression, how to help a friend get out of depression - these questions are often asked to specialists by caring comrades, seeing pathological condition loved ones.

Measures emergency care, which can be provided to friends in a difficult situation:

Don’t forget about joint trips to interesting places, meeting new people. The same advice can be useful for adults who do not know how to help a teenager get out of depression, be it a son, nephew, or just a loved one.

Mother-daughter relationship

This special category relationship, which is usually built on trust and understanding. As mother and daughter grow older, they begin to live their own lives, sometimes far from each other. A lump of unresolved problems can put one of the women into a depressed state, and only the help of a loved one can help:

If there are noticeable signs of severe depression, you should immediately persuade the mother (daughter) to visit a psychologist.

Problems for a loved one

Many young girls are very worried when they notice signs of depression in their partner. The question of how to help a guy get out of depression should be the main step to help effective assistance. What you can do yourself:

If a guy is stubborn for a long time, refuses the help of his companion and specialists, claiming that he does not need help, it is worth considering whether it is necessary to maintain such a relationship and wait for changes. After all, getting out of depression is a big job that a person must start on his own, with himself.

You can try to treat mild depression at home, on your own. Books that help you get out of depression can come to the rescue - for example, “Shantaram” by Gregory Davis Roberts, the sage Osho “Life, Love, Laughter.”

If there is a noticeable regression in the condition of a loved one, it is necessary to urgently provide him with qualified assistance in order to preserve his happy life and psychological well-being.

“My husband is constantly depressed and in a bad mood. I'm trying to help him, but it's of no use. I'm tired, I no longer have the strength. How can I get him out of this state?”

The first thing I want to say. Living with depression is definitely difficult and difficult. Being in close contact with a depressed person is also a serious test and psychological burden.

Yes, even if it was not you personally who faced the problem of depression, but your husband, even if all the colors faded for him and it became difficult to get out of bed. But many times more difficult, especially for sympathetic and impressionable people, can be the experience of a loved one’s illness - when you see everything, sincerely worry, but nothing can be done. This causes powerlessness, and powerlessness causes anger and despair. And this is understandable and normal. All relatives of patients face this.

Let's figure out how you can help yourself and your husband (or wife, or parent, or child - the action strategy will be approximately the same).

Take care of yourself

It is important to understand here: you cannot and will never be able to be responsible for the life of another person. As long as you hope that you can change your husband, you will not be able to truly help him. Because you will be in illusion, not in reality.The reality is: you don't have the reins, he does. He makes the decision, not you. To any decisive step you take, he can say his legal “no” - and then you can only choose how to react to it.

Therefore the most useful thing which you can do if you feel tired of problems and bad mood your husband is to take care of yourself, to regain your strength. Only when you have the strength and desire again can you begin to look for ways to help your loved one. Not the other way around. First, put the mask on yourself.

The first step is:

• step aside: stop the obsessive stream of thoughts about your husband, focus on what is happening to you now;
• Ask yourself: am I happy with my life? are all my needs met? Am I eating, sleeping, resting, relaxing, enjoying myself enough? What can I do (without my husband getting involved) to get myself back into an energetic state?
• make a list of actions that will help you recover: these can be simple things (a bath, a walk, meeting with friends); if you are alone with children, it is important to find those who will help you unload - this could be your mother, sister, nanny, friends;
• If all of the above does not help and stress increases, seek help from a psychologist.

Proceed to the next stage only when you feel sufficiently recovered. Don't neglect rest - to help a loved one fight depression, you will need strength.

Seek professional help

Depression is serious illness. No less serious than pneumonia or a broken leg. Without professional help you can't handle it. Take this as an axiom.

Therefore, your second task, after recovery own strength, - send your husband to undergo diagnostics from a psychotherapist. You can contact the PND at your place of registration (it will be free) or a private practitioner. As a rule, it is difficult for a depressed patient to find a doctor and make an appointment. Do it for him. Go to the appointment with him to support him.

If your husband refuses to seek help, explain that depression will not go away on its own and will only get worse. Send him a selection of articles or videos about depression. See, for example, my article. And at the end there is a list of references. Don’t be fooled by anti-psychiatric propaganda – don’t waste precious time.

The doctor will examine, interview your husband and prescribe treatment. If necessary, recommends going to hospital. Take your doctor's recommendations seriously. Help your husband buy everything necessary medications. If necessary, ensure that the appointment is timely.

Sometimes you can't find it right away drug therapy. Medicines can cause side effects. This is fine. Be patient. Remember to rest and support yourself.

Psychological help for depression

Modern methods of treating depression include both drug and non-drug (psychological) approaches.

Drug therapy relieves acute symptoms– powerlessness, apathy, low mood, suicidal thoughts. But this is only the first stage in the fight against depression. To get rid of depression completely, you need to get rid of its psychological causes.

Psychological psychotherapy helps to find the causes of depression, change the vicious train of thoughts, learn to live joyfully again, and set short-term and long-term goals. The combination of both methods - medication and psychological - helps a person with depression to fully recover and return to normal life.

If the husband refuses treatment

Over the years of communicating with your husband, you, of course, have learned to influence him, and you know all these methods much better than me. Connect this arsenal, connect the intellect (articles, videos, lectures), involve children and relatives, involve a family psychologist.

But remember that you should make all these efforts only secondarily. You take care of yourself first. If you maintain this balance, your communication with your depressed husband will no longer be as painful as it is now. Separate yourself from him, give him and yourself the opportunity to live your own life and make your own choices. And you will feel better - and when you feel better, you will figure out how to influence him, if you consider it necessary.

If you are tired, desperate and it seems to you that you yourself are falling into depression - write, come to an appointment or on Skype, we will figure it out together. You can sign up for a consultation.