How to get out of an awkward situation. How to get out of a difficult life situation. Think less about what others think

Andy Robin, Cavet Gregg

How to get out of the water dry. The art of getting out of the most awkward life situations

Andy Robin, Gregg Kavet

SAVING FACE: How to Lie, Fake, and Maneuver Your Way

Out of Life\'s Most Awkward Situations

Originally published by Gallery Books, a division of Simon & Schuster Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

If the book you purchased does not have a cover, be aware that the copy is stolen. In the publisher's reports, it appears as "unsold and destroyed", and neither the author nor the publisher received any profits from the sale of the "stripped" book.

This book is a work of art. All names, characters, places, events and incidents are either invented by the author or used in a fictional context. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental.

We thank Tricia Bochkovsky of Simon Spotlight Entertainmentmet for the idea of the project; our editor Patrick Price for improving it, and all those who helped us get out of awkward situations until we learned it ourselves: Lindsey, Anna, Roxanne, Peter, Jackson and Kirsten Larson.

Foreword

Awkward like pornography difficult to define, but easily recognizable: cold sweat, stupor and the feeling that everyone is looking at you.

Ask anyone to list the ten worst moments in their life. Most likely you will be told a bereavement and a couple of bouts of illness or acute pain, but there is a good chance that disgusting, annoying, terrifying embarrassments will fall into the number of the remaining seven or eight.

All our lives we try to avoid embarrassing situations, but ... again and again we find ourselves in them. We get into trouble, don't know what to do, and end up saying and doing things that only make things worse.

The problem is that we were not taught this. No one has ever done a systematic study of awkward moments and suggested easy ways to deal with them.

Nobody except us.

We have personally tried thousands of remedies that can help in such situations. Most of them turned out to be completely untenable. We were slapped in the face, we were yelled at and sued, we were expelled from everywhere. We've lost our jobs, estranged ourselves from relatives, and screwed up our sex lives. And all for you, dear reader.

But some methods did work. On the pages of our book you will find specific recommendations on how to extricate yourself from all sorts of unpleasant situations. How do you greet someone whose name you can't remember? How to evade responsibility by clogging the toilet of the wife's parents? How to break an affair with a colleague? How to return to the neighbors a car with a burnt engine taken from them?

So, while awkward situations await you literally everywhere, you will no longer have an excuse to hide at home, like some clean-shaven Ted Kaczynski. Go out, communicate, work, live, desire and love. But always keep this book handy. Because you never know when a situation might... hmm... get awkward.

Introduction: our arsenal

The techniques described in the book will suit anyone, from a simpleton with a damaged brain to an unbridled genius.

However, all readers will benefit from learning some techniques and then combining them into a system that we call "our arsenal."

Our arsenal

Lies should become your good friend. You will have to lie again and again, in small things and in a big way. Practice the art of lying.

Lie so that they believe you. If there is anything worse than not lying at all, it is lying unconvincingly.

Modern telecommunication equipment

Since the telephone saves us from personal confrontation, we will use it extensively throughout the book. But to maximize its capabilities, you will need to use a variety of modern gadgets: an answering machine, voice mail, caller ID, call forwarding, waiting and selective blocking, as well as the multifunctional STAR 69 system.

Content:

Awkward situations can be very frustrating and stressful if you don't know how to deal with them. We all face situations like this at some point in our lives, so it's good to learn how to get out of them. Whether you're having an awkward conversation, having a bad date, or inadvertently offending someone, you can get out of the situation by staying calm, having an exit plan in advance, or using a sense of humor.

Steps

1 How to get out of an awkward conversation

1 Wait for a pause in the conversation. In conversations, there always comes a moment when speech is interrupted or there is a pause. Usually at this point, to continue the conversation, start a new topic. But it's also the best time to end it. To transition to goodbye, you can use introductory words, for example, "so", "however", "well".
2 Summarize the key points of the conversation. Before you end the conversation, summarize some of its main points so that your interlocutor understands that you were listening to him. At the same time, you will give the interlocutor a signal that you want to end the conversation. Try saying something like, “I really enjoyed talking to you, I didn't know you were into sci-fi too! It's amazing! You and I have the same favorite movie!”
3 Give a reason why you should leave. Make a closing remark on the topic, and then say why you need to leave. The reason doesn't have to be real, but it must be believable and urgent enough for you to leave immediately.
- For example, if you're talking about a book, you might say, “Wow! I don't remember this moment in the book! Need to reread it. Okay, it's been great talking to you, but I have to go. I have to pick up my friend from work and I'm already late. Have a nice day!"
4 If you can't leave, try introducing your interlocutor to someone else. If you're at a party and don't want to or can't leave, you can end the conversation by introducing yourself to the other person. Find someone you know and invite them over to introduce you to the person you're talking to. After you introduce them, apologize politely and say that you need to go to the restroom or freshen up a bit.
- Think about what they may have common interests, what they can talk about with each other. For example, you can introduce people like this: “This is my friend Matvey. You have a lot in common! He was the striker on the school football team!”

2 What to do if you accidentally offended someone

1 Try to turn the whole thing into a joke. Turn the unintentional insult into a joke and try to laugh at your comment.
- Say: “Joke! Can you imagine this? Wow!" This will help you defuse the situation and divert attention from an inappropriate comment.
- Add a little frivolity by saying, "One of my talents is to say the best thing in any situation," and then you can laugh.
2 Translate the insulting remark at yourself. Tell the person you accidentally offended that you were joking that it was more of a remark about yourself. Some will find it easier to come to terms with this if you say that it was just your frank statement about yourself, and not about the interlocutor.
- If you are inappropriate about someone's appearance, come up with a story that turns your statement into a story about yourself: "I am always embarrassed by my appearance, so sometimes I project it onto others."
3 Take an honest look at the situation. Tell the person that you didn't mean to hurt them, and sincerely apologize for the hurt. Admit that you offended the person by mistake, and try to turn your comment into a compliment.
- If you've offended a person by pointing out something you don't like about them, be honest. Say, “I'm sorry I offended you. It just seems to me that you wear too much perfume when you come to work. Maybe I just have a very sensitive sense of smell. Well, I really like the way you look. You have a great wardrobe. Where do you buy clothes?”
- If you misspelled the address and sent the email to the wrong person, apologize and say that this message was intended for another person, but you should not have made this remark at all.

3 What to do if you make a mistake due to autocorrect

1 React to the situation quickly. If you have autocorrect enabled on your phone and it turned what you said into something offensive or humiliating, try to send a new message as soon as possible to inform the recipient that you made a mistake. If you wait too long, the recipient may think that you wanted to write to him exactly what he received. Send him a new message apologizing for the mistake.
2 Try to laugh at the mistake. Today, everyone already knows that many phones have an autocorrect feature, so if you accidentally send a message that is not what you wanted to say, most people will understand you. Try to joke about your gaffe in a new message right after the previous one.
- Write “Rzhunimagu. My phone clearly has a different opinion than mine.”
3 Try turning off autocorrect. If you turn off the autocorrect feature, it may take you longer to type messages and you may have typos, but you will know that you are sending exactly the messages you wanted to send. Some phones underline misspelled words so you can correct them yourself.
- See your phone's instructions for how to turn off the autocorrect feature.

4 What to do if you have a failed date

1 Change the subject. If your girlfriend keeps talking about things you're not interested in or are bored with, try changing the subject. Make a general remark about the topic your girlfriend is talking about, or make a joke about it, and then suggest a new topic for conversation.
- Say something like, “Oh, how sweet that you love cats so much! And I'm just crazy about football. I play every weekend and always watch the World Cup. Have you ever played football?"
- Joke: “Oh, citizen accountant, don’t bore me with your finances! Tell me better how you have fun!”
2 Say it's time for you to go home. The requirement to be home at a certain time may not only apply to high school students. Even in adulthood, you can refer to the fact that it's time for you to go home, because tomorrow you have a hard day or you need to walk the dog. If you refer to the fact that you need to be home by a certain date, you will save yourself from a too long date.
- You can say what time you need to be at home at the very beginning of the date, and then, if everything goes wrong, you can simply remind you that it's time for you to go home. At the same time, if the date goes really well, you can say that you want to come back later today, because everything is so great.
3 Fake an important call. It would be nice if a friend or girlfriend calls you during a date. This can be used as an excuse to leave. Agree to get a call 30-40 minutes after the start of the date and be sure to turn on the sound on your phone to hear the call. If the date isn't going well, you can answer the call by saying something like, “Oh no! I will now!” and end the call. Prepare to tell your girlfriend or friend why you need to leave, and then politely say goodbye and leave the date.
- Say that you forgot to pick up your friend's child from school.
- Say that your dog has run away and you urgently need to pick it up from a neighbor.
4 Pretend to be sick. An imaginary illness can be a good good reason to leave a date. Excuse yourself, say that you need to go to the toilet, stay there for 10 minutes. Wipe your face and hair with a damp towel and come back holding your stomach. Say that you are not feeling well and that you need to go home.
- You can be kind and leave some money to pay for the date.
- Leave quickly so that your companion does not have time to offer you to walk you home.

5 What to do if you forget someone's name

1 Complain about sclerosis. If you forgot someone's name, but you need to introduce that person to your friend, you can be absolutely honest and say that you have a mess in your head. Apologize for forgetting your name and say that your head is spinning with so many things to do and appointments that day.
- Most people understand that busy schedules and stress can unsettle a person, so this explanation can be accepted as a good reason.
2 Introduce your friend to this person. If you forget someone's name, you can introduce this person to your friend, then he will have to give his name. Find a friend who is nearby and say: "Hi, I want to introduce my friend to you." First, say the name of your friend, and then pause for the other person to complete the dating procedure.
- For example, you might say, "I want to introduce you to my friend Katta Gellar," and the other person would be forced to say something like, "Hi Kathy, I'm Melanie Smith."
3 Ask for contact information. You can find out a person's name by asking them for their contact information. You can ask to hammer the number into your phone, and then, before putting the phone away, look at the name. Another way to find out a person's name is to ask for a business card. Many people carry business cards with their name and contact information. Say you want to keep in touch and ask for a business card.
- Ask them to spell the name to make sure you spell it correctly.

Try to be as honest as possible. It's always best to be honest in all situations, but if you're lying a little in an uncomfortable situation, make sure you have a really good reason for it.
Don't be discouraged if you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation. Keep in mind that everyone finds themselves in uncomfortable situations at some point in life, so if you find yourself in one, it's not the end of the world. Accept the situation and let it go. One day you will remember this and laugh.
When going to a party or a date, make a retreat plan in advance. If you have to get out of an awkward situation, you will already know how to do it.
There are special applications that you can download to your phone. They will ring on your phone as soon as you open them. You can download such an application to your phone and use it if an uncomfortable situation arises.

Warnings

If you feel like you're in an uncomfortable situation and trapped, you can always just get up and leave without explanation. If you feel that you are in danger, you need to leave immediately.
Lying can get you into trouble. If you use lies to get out of an awkward situation, remember that the person you lied to might find out about it. If a person finds out that you lied to him, you risk losing a friend.
Awkward situations can cause you great anxiety. If you feel anxious, the situation will become even more awkward. Try to take a few deep breaths and think about how to get out of this situation.

All thoughts are material. The more a person thinks about something, the more likely it is that this will happen to him. Unfortunately, bad things attract much faster than good things. This is the law of nature, and you can not argue with it. The more a person is afraid of getting into an awkward situation, the more often it happens to him. At the same time, people, for some reason, forget that everyone is imperfect, and this can happen to everyone. Life is unpredictable. At any moment, a person can slip, start hiccuping at the most inopportune moment, for example, at a meeting, forget the words of the report just when hundreds of eyes of attentive listeners are fixed on him. The list can be continued indefinitely, there are thousands of options to goof off. Now, this has already happened. What to do, how to get out of the situation with the least losses?

How to get out of awkward situations?

The situation can be any, the number of witnesses to failure can also be limited to a couple of people, or increase to hundreds. This is how lucky, if in such a situation we can talk about some kind of luck. We need to remember Munchausen, who pulled himself out of the swamp by the hair, and get out of the situation as resourcefully as he did. In general, a very good hero, albeit a fabulous one, how many times he got into trouble, and nothing, he turned everything to his advantage, and did not hesitate to talk about it.

But still, how to deal with an awkward situation - here are some tips to help smooth the situation:

The best option is to turn everything into a joke. Here you just need to think about whether it would be appropriate. Tripped and fell? You can joke, for example, that you would be a star, you could make a wish. A funny comment and laughter will definitely lighten the mood. And in a few minutes everyone will forget about this minor incident. All people are basically obsessed with themselves, there is no more important person for them. So there is no need to suffer from delusions of grandeur, and imagine that everyone is only thinking about the event.

If this happened at an official event, and any jokes would be simply inappropriate, then it is worth leaving the area of the incident. So to speak, conduct a strategic retreat. Then you can return, and you should not explain anything to anyone, by and large, few people paid attention to the absence.

There are times when you just can't run away. The trouble happened in public transport, or it was a public performance. Then there is only one way out - to pretend "I'm not me, and the hut is not mine." Pull yourself together, disengage and continue the trip, or performance, as if nothing had happened.

We need to think less about trouble. Often, witnesses to failure are completely strangers who are unlikely to meet again. In addition, a person is evaluated not for the ability to get into history, but for how he behaves in it, and for the ability to get out of it.

You have to be able to maintain dignity. A person seems stupid only when he himself feels that way. This is almost the same as clothing affects human behavior. Having tried on a chic suit and expensive shoes, he feels almost like a king, even his gait becomes more confident. It is more difficult to feel like a master in slates and shorts. People accept others most often by how they position themselves.

Don't worry about trifles

No matter what happens, no matter how unpleasant the situation, you should not worry too much. You just need to understand that this episode will not affect your future life in any way. Everything in this world passes, and this, too, will soon turn into just a memory. And in a couple of years, even if a person remembers the incident, it will cause nothing but a slight smile.

If what happened was a thoughtless act, and not a small accident, then it is worth learning lessons so as not to get into trouble in the future. For example, a person wentof off, expressing an unflattering opinion about a colleague who, by coincidence, was just standing behind him. So, next time you just need to hold your tongue, and if it’s unbearable, then at least look around more carefully.

A person should be able to forgive himself, and less. Why bother with ordinary people, when even the stars are not immune from falling, literally and figuratively.

Start hiccuping on public transport, tear your pants in some busy place, open the toilet door and find that someone is already there, confuse a pregnant girl with just overweight - all this is terribly embarrassing. Now imagine how something from this list also happens in the circle of colleagues with whom you will then have to work. Any of these oversights can seriously damage the reputation.

An awkward situation makes us feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. But it is not all that bad. If you look at it from an unexpected side, you can understand that it can bring a lot of benefits.

Embarrassment and awkwardness are the emotions that we experience in relation to other people when we make a mistake or behave inappropriately for social norms and standards accepted in society. Emotions that are associated with shame and guilt are often viewed as negative when in fact they are not.
Susan David, Lecturer in Psychology at Harvard University

The Positives of Awkward Situations

1. Increasing the level of trust

People who get into uncomfortable situations and feel embarrassed and awkward because of it will have much more credibility just because they care about what impression they are. There is also a high probability that their embarrassment will be forgiven and forgotten much faster than the embarrassment of a person who is indifferent to the opinions of others.

2. Preliminary preparation for difficult life situations

Imagine that you have to tell a future client about your product. To make a good impression, you will try to prepare as best as possible and think over the answers to all the tricky questions in advance.

Potentially possible pitfalls encourage us to try harder so as not to lose face at a crucial moment.

After you get into awkward situations and come out of them with dignity, you become more resilient and more prepared for the difficulties that may someday come in your life. Situations involving embarrassment and embarrassment can be considered excellent training, which in many ways builds character.

3. Broadcast core values

Awkward situations serve as a kind of social regulators. With their help, people understand what behavior is acceptable in a normal society and what is not. Such situations are meant to maintain order and shed light on the things that really matter to us: caring for others, being attentive to loved ones, and being interested in making a good impression.

Three Ways to Help You Deal with Awkwardness

Most of us consciously try not to get into awkward situations, but no one is immune from them. Here are a few things you can do to ease the awkwardness.

1. Treat the situation with humor

The most common patterns of behavior of people in awkward situations are as follows:

to take a back seat and try to hush everything up imperceptibly;
courageously take the hit and try to work things out.

The advice is: don't try to hide what's already happened. Everyone already noticed that you screwed up anyway. What's the point in denying everything? The best thing you can do in such a situation is to treat it with humor.

Show that you are not afraid. In this way, you will demonstrate to others your courage and self-confidence. You can even say something like, “Wow, how awkward I am!” To minimize the tension that has arisen.

2. Control your emotions

Tips like “don’t be nervous”, “cool down” and “relax” seem rather banal, but they are no less effective for that.

A curious and revealing experiment was being conducted at the University of Western Ontario. Participants were asked to recall situations they were ashamed of and situations that evoked pleasant emotions. After that, they were offered a choice of hot and cold drinks.

People who recalled embarrassing situations mostly chose cold drinks. This is due to the natural reaction of the body to situations that make us feel uncomfortable: we are thrown into a fever, our face is flushed, we want to somehow cool down.

Emotions and our body temperature are closely related. If you find yourself in a situation that is out of control, try to calm down and not make it worse.

3. Forgive yourself

Need to learn. This is the price we pay for being imperfect but normal people.

If you are often embarrassed, then try at least once to overcome yourself and observe the reaction of others. Do they laugh amiably and look at you sympathetically? Instead of hiding your eyes, apologize and laugh at yourself with them.
Leslie Shore, psychologist

Having made a mistake, you should not torture yourself endlessly. You need to practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. When you acknowledge that you, like everyone else, are not perfect, it will help you let go of the situation and say goodbye to the past.

We hope these simple ways to overcome embarrassment will help you at least a little.

Life is life. Sometimes you fall into a deep hole and skid at its bottom with a torn heart, an empty wallet or a serious illness. How many do not try to climb back - it seems that there is no way out.

In fact, the exit is much closer than it seems. To cope with a difficult life situation, we need only one thing - specific actions. After all, they are the most effective tool for achieving results.

And if so, we will look at 2 ways to solve any problem with the help of a 4-step action plan, two useful exercises and one tip to help when everything falls out of hand. We will start with 5 ideas that you need to realize so that you do not kill yourself once again and do not make the mess thicker than before.

What needs to be realized

There are people with more serious problems than you. For example, children with fatal diseases, parents who lost a young family in an accident, a boy who was killed in an unnecessary war. The world has not agreed on your situation, so you should not give up after the first defeat.
Failure is a happy turning point. This idea can be found on the pages of Napoleon Hill's Law of Success. And it's true: a sudden illness, a business failure, or a broken relationship can sometimes save your head from even greater misfortunes.
The advice to quit everything is the advice of weak people. Before you listen to someone, look at his standard of living. If it is lower than what you want, you should not waste time listening to another opinion.
No matter what happens, no matter who is to blame, everything is in the past. Now we are facing a fact and we need to shift our attention to the present.
Chopping from the shoulder is a good quality of a successful person, but in our case, too decisive actions can do harm.

What can be done

Here we come to practice. In general, the methods for getting out of difficult situations come down to one thing - to raise your “op” and. It seems to be simple, but how to do it if the whole body is exhausted and resists? You can try the step by step method below.

Method 1 - Solve the problem yourself

Step #1 – Cooling and Preparing

First, as in all emergencies, you need to stop panicking. The fire has already flared up and even though it burns on the outside, you need to remain cold-blooded inside. So the brain will not waste energy on unnecessary emotions and save resources to solve the problem.
Then, stop playing the victim. As children, we were often told that we needed to be responsible, and now is the right time for this.

Take the helm in your hands to fully control the situation. Otherwise, you can quickly succumb to excuses like “I was unlucky, I have nothing to do with it, let him decide better, etc.”
The next “half-step” is to find the foothold of your problem. When trouble arises, out of nowhere, a bunch of other difficulties pile up. And if the first trouble is "pulled out", then the rest of the chain of events will collapse by itself.

Sounds promising, but it's actually true. From the solution of a complex problem, inspiration, a second wind, an increase in strength appear, and smaller problems are solved by themselves.

Step #2 - Reboot

At this stage, we must interfere with a sober mind. Here are a few options for how to do this:

Gain strength, sleep, eat, rest.
Recall your past victories and get a boost of motivation.
Think about what this situation will teach you, what faith in yourself you will gain if you solve it. (Invaluable experience, strengthened fortitude, self-confidence - these are just a few consequences of the problem solved.)
Gain strength of will and give up alcohol, excessive smoking, drugs. Stop being lazy, overeat, in general - do not feed the factors that spoil the psyche and destroy the body.

1. The first one is self-programming.(or affirmations). It consists in not recognizing the complexity of the situation, and telling yourself that everything is not so bad.

What happened, trouble?“It’s okay, temporary difficulties!” How are you?- Great as usual! Try to talk to yourself and others in this spirit. (Looks like training sectarians, but if not overzealous, then such thinking is useful).

2. Consider what you believe: into themselves and their forces, God, world energy, a single wave shell, even into reptilians. Believe in it with renewed vigor. (Again, a little strange, but faith is a very strong feeling that can give strength)

3. Emotional release. Sometimes it is worth stuffing cuffs on an innocent pear or bursting into tears in a pillow. Simply throw everything out straight, without any affirmations. In this matter, your heart will tell you: if you want to cry, if you want to beat the dishes, if you want to go to the gym and exhaust your muscles.

It's bad that many people are used to restraining their emotions. To freak out, even if you are left alone, is somehow awkward and “not like an adult”, which is why the method is not suitable for everyone.

After the "reboot" you can go to the 3rd step.

Step #3 - Focus

When you are cold-blooded, and all emotions are behind, you can start the most important thing - switch the focus from the problem to its solution.

And here the most difficult thing begins, which 90% of those who read the article will not do. Why? Because we need to take action right now. We need two sheets of paper and a pen. Preferably it is paper, and not electronic media, the effect will be stronger on it.

We will do 2 exercises that will help free your head from the whirlpool of thoughts and structure your knowledge. After completing them, you will already have an initial speed and a foundation for a further plan of action.

Exercise 1

Describe all the resources you have: knowledge, things, connections, money, valuable information, experience, etc. These are your means to an end, in our case the goal is to get out of a difficult situation.

Emphasize which of these tools can be used to solve the problem. For example: car- sell, Lech- collect debt Alexey Borisovich call and ask for advice.

If you have not found something that can help you, then your horizons are still limited. You are wandering in the dark when the answer may be just around the corner. Make a small column under the list of funds, and write there all the resources that you think you lack (again, this can be money, connections, qualifications, etc.).

We have a picture in front of us could not fit entirely in my head. It remains only to work with it: use resources, seek funds, supplement with new knowledge. After that, we can move on to the second exercise.

Exercise 2

We take the second sheet of paper and arrange a brainstorming session. We write out absolutely all our thoughts into it: “I have problems and everything infuriates me; I think no one will help me; I should call and arrange, but I'm afraid.

That is, not just gotta do this and try something.” but all your feelings, experiences, ideas. All the porridge that is boiled and boils the brain must be poured onto paper.

Why is this exercise good? It materializes thoughts in a peculiar way. You had an impulse in your head, you had to keep it in your memory, save it, maintain your emotional mood, and now - here it is, on paper! The brain no longer needs to waste energy: constantly show this thought, associate a certain emotion with it. He can focus on something specific and calm down at least for a while.

That is why it is better to do these exercises on paper. Writing thoughts with your hand is a little different than poking them with the buttons on your phone. Imagine what it would be like if children in schools typed everything on the keyboard. Of course, they would learn quickly, but poorly. Here we have something similar.

Step #4 - Plan

Ideally, at this stage, you should already have 2 sheets of notes and at least a minimal idea of \u200b\u200byour further actions. If you've completed all the previous steps, well done! This means that you are ready to work hard, and you will definitely get the desired result.

The simplest thing left is to write a plan and set goals. Carry them with you so that in a free moment, you always know what to do next.

Method 2 - Ask for help

In order to find a way out of a hopeless situation, you can go the other way. If you are lucky, you have relatives and true friends. Close people, if they are really close, will always help you in difficult times.

There are 3 variations of this method. We briefly discussed the first in the first paragraph - ask for help from friends and acquaintances.

Second variety: Look for those who have already solved a similar problem.

Believe me, among several billion people there is someone who is faced with the same life situation. Find this person. In his video, book or article, he can show the solution to your problem from his own experience.

Imagine that you are sitting at a round table and interacting with people you respect. Friends, parents, it doesn't matter. If you roughly know their character, you can imagine the advice they will give you.

Practice shows that many tips from the Internet simply do not work. Sometimes it gets boring to force yourself to read moralizing, to do some exercises, to overpower your character to the point of nausea.

Nothing works in this state. What kind of exercises are there, I would like to collect myself in a heap. In a word, stress.

The only way out of this situation is to disconnect from business as much as possible. Send, score, rest - call it what you want.

Why is this tip "super"? Because it reflects the real state of things. If you have completely lost motivation and lost heart, it is dangerous to finish yourself off! And you can finish yourself off with different practices, motivational speeches, constant reproaches, etc. With a complete loss of performance, these things will not help you and will only upset you. “I’m no good”, “Everything is gone”, “Nothing helps me anymore” - you only think about this after trying to overpower yourself.

So don't be afraid to drop things for a while! Yes, this condition can last for several days or even weeks. But the more time passes, the more the spring of motivation is compressed. At one point, you will get so tired of messing around that the spring will open and with great force will carry you back upstairs.