Uncontrollable attacks of aggression and outbursts of anger in men and women: causes, methods of combating. What to do with attacks of aggression in men

When aggression manifests itself in men, the reasons for this phenomenon can be very different - from a natural reaction to stressful situation to somatic and mental pathology. In some cases, aggressiveness can be isolated, in others it becomes part of the personality, a disease that turns the life of the aggressor himself and those around him into a heavy burden, full of fear and danger.

What is aggression

This phenomenon has been considered since different points vision. Its definition is present in jurisprudence, psychology, and psychiatry. The young science of ethology, which studies the behavior of animals, deals with aggressive behavior, including in humans. Man comes to the attention of ethologists as the bearer of a huge complex of instincts inherited from a long line of ancestors at different evolutionary stages of the formation and development of the species Homo sapiens.

Aggression is an attack of anger. This anger can be triggered by external factors. In this case, aggression is called motivated. Most often, it is a consequence of strong fear that appears when there is a real threat to life, health or the integrity of property.

Unmotivated aggression manifests itself as inappropriate behavior that has no real reason. Hence its name.

Ethologists believe that main reason any aggression is fear. In some cases, it arises in the form of an adequate reaction to a real situation. In other cases, outbursts of aggression represent unmotivated impulses to dump negative emotions on a convenient object.

Oddly enough, any form of aggression, even the most irrational, has its own reason. Abruptly manifested rage allows a person to react to danger in time, avoiding negative consequences. Moreover, the reaction can be any. A person can run away, attack with unprecedented force, frightening or even killing the enemy. This rational expression of anger is salutary in nature.

Irrational aggression also has its meaning. It is usually a way of asserting oneself in communities where there is an official or social hierarchy. However, aggression can be a manifestation of mental illness or promiscuity of a person in authority.

Male aggression and its features

It is believed that uncontrolled aggression is most characteristic of men. However, women can also be irrationally and destructively aggressive. Moreover, women's screams, swearing, and anger are sometimes protracted. It can be more difficult to bring a woman out of such an attack than a man.

What is the difference between a man's manifestation of rage and a woman's? The specificity lies not only in hormonal principles, but also in differences in the instinctive basis of behavior.

Despite the increase in the number of women who live according to male laws, the psyche of representatives of different sexes still has significant differences.

Why do attacks of aggression occur in men? If we agree that men are indeed characterized by stronger and more frequent attacks of unmotivated rage, then this can be explained as follows:

  1. Excess testosterone. This hormone determines sexual activity. However, too much of it can provoke outbursts of sudden irritation that turn into rage.
  2. Men, by the structure of their psyche and instinctive base, are warriors. This property, of course, is realized in each member of the stronger sex in its own way, but on average, attacks of rage in men are caused by their constant readiness for combat. The function of a protector, and to some extent an invader, is also reinforced by social stereotypes, which places increased demands on men, creating nervous tension.
  3. Man, by his evolutionary origin, is a social being. This means that he has a highly developed instinct for the hierarchical structure of the community. He needs to constantly prove his superiority over others. This subconscious desire in women manifests itself primarily in acquisitions, and in men - in the form sudden attacks aggression.

All these reasons explain, but do not justify, behavior that does not correspond to the species name of man - Homo sapiens.

Forms of manifestation of aggression

The problem in our society is that male aggression is considered normal. This is something we have to reckon with and put up with. This position of society costs him dearly, but the stereotype of tolerance for male emotional incontinence in society is very stable.

It turns out that the strong half of humanity must be weak. After all, in order to restrain your emotions, you need great inner strength.

There are 2 forms of manifestation of aggression. One of them is verbal, when a person’s entire negativity manifests itself in the form of shouting, profanity, threats and insults. Another form is of the nature of physical impact in the form of beatings, murders, and destruction. Wherein physical impact can be directed not only at humans, but also animals. To some extent, hunting can be considered a form of aggression, when a person goes to kill animals not for food, but for pleasure.

Most often, aggression is directed at other people, animals, and household objects. For example, breaking dishes is an obvious displaced behavior when the desire to beat or kill a person is replaced by loud breaking of plates, cups, windows, and household appliances.

However, there is also auto-aggression, when negative emotions are directed at oneself. This type of aggression can manifest itself in public refusal or consumption junk food, suicide attempts, which necessarily occur in large crowds of people. Self-incrimination can also be classified as auto-aggression, when a person declares himself guilty of something that only indirectly concerns him.

There is another manifestation of predominantly male aggression, which is called boss syndrome. The habit of yelling at subordinates is not a way of leadership. To some extent, this is a way of hypertrophied self-affirmation. Hypertrophy manifests itself in the inadequacy of aggressive behavior, because a boss is a person who already has superiority in relation to his subordinates, sufficient to satisfy his ambitions.

Managing by yelling, cursing, insulting and threatening is not a management style, but a manifestation of promiscuity. A successful leader who manages a team correctly can maintain order calmly, quietly, and even in a whisper. If such orders are carried out quickly and correctly, then this manager is in the right place.

Is boss syndrome a typically male form of aggression? If we consider that most bosses are men, then this style of combining leadership with wild aggression can be called typically masculine. Those women who, having power, allow themselves such a disgusting leadership style, actually imitate men, which in their opinion strengthens their position.

Reason and justification

Aggression, manifested in various forms, and especially in attacks of intense rage, can be a symptom of nervous and mental disorders. However, most often this is a manifestation of mental weakness. A person begins to enjoy the sudden release of excess energy, superiority over others, and most importantly, his own impunity. Such a person understands perfectly well when to flare up and when not to. You can yell at your wife, hit a child, or kick a dog in your own home with impunity.

All of these are criminal offenses. Only domestic violence often goes unnoticed by law enforcement agencies. Household members suffering from the painful or unbridled aggression of the father of the family begin to be protected only when visible signs of regular beatings appear to everyone.

Why does aggression become a habit? But because there are a number of justifications for such actions. A man can do all this because:

  • he is the breadwinner;
  • he gets tired at work;
  • he is responsible;
  • It’s their own fault - they brought it on;
  • everyone here is babbling;
  • they prevent him from resting, etc.

The presence of such arguments is a symptom of mental destruction. We are not talking about nervous and mental illnesses. This pathology is rather mental. This is a combination of weakness, cruelty and licentiousness.

Consequences of unmotivated aggression

Despite the fact that many people suffering from chronic aggression as a drug addiction derive pleasure from their actions, such actions are extremely harmful for both the object and the subject.

Those who suffer most from the tyranny of a hot-tempered person are all those who are forced to live with him under the same roof. Children who are forced to constantly be in fear of negative influences usually get sick, their fate is full of problems and suffering. They grow up unhappy and complex. The wives of such aggressors grow old and die early.

If a boss constantly yells at his subordinates, he creates an environment of fear and hostility. Such a person is surrounded by unreliable people. Action always causes reaction. People who are always humiliated, with with a light heart do not follow orders, deliberately or out of ignorance do not do the necessary work. Provided, of course, that this sabotage does not become obvious, provocative and dangerous for one’s career.

Typically, people with chronic aggression have problems with business. For example, if the owner or manager of a store publicly loudly reprimands his subordinates, then many people will try to avoid going to such a retail outlet. Why witness unpleasant scenes if there is another store within walking distance where a friendly atmosphere is created.

The subject of habitual aggression is also in for trouble. Screaming, threats, humiliation and even assault over time become not only a habit, but also a need. As a result, a person begins to shout not only at those who depend on him, but also at those on whom he himself depends. It is clear that the career of such a person is not going well. The problem also lies in the fact that not all people who are led by emotions, hormones and instincts can stop in time. A person who has become a chronic aggressor, even with the threat of losing his family and job, is not able to stop.

Scientists often consider the phenomenon of male aggression in the context of social phenomena. Uncontrollable rage for far-fetched or exaggerated reasons is a breeding ground for organizing social unrest. Men often express their rage not individually, but collectively. Spontaneous pogroms after football matches are a striking example of collective manifestation unmotivated aggression. Such people easily succumb to calls to smash and beat for any reason.

So unmotivated aggression in men gives rise to problems not only of a medical, psychological and family nature. This is a negative social phenomenon that threatens the stability and well-being of society.

Translated from Latin, “aggression” means “attack”. That is, it is a verbal and physical expression of anger, indignation, and an attempt to dominate. In men, attacks of aggression also manifest themselves in relation to themselves - suicide.

What are the causes of such attacks? The first of these is the presence in male body psychoactive substances. This refers to the breakdown products of alcohol, tobacco smoke, drugs, energy drinks. After all, today bad habits are the companions of 80% of all representatives of the stronger sex.

The second, no less common reason for this behavior is the insufficiency of serotonin metabolism, the function of which is self-control and objective assessment of one’s behavior, the ability to look at oneself from the outside.

Environmental and weather factors may also negatively affect male behavior. Magnetic storms, for example, sharp temperature contrasts worsen the well-being of men and women. But the latter take pills for headaches, get massages, call and complain to their friends. But representatives of the stronger half of humanity are not used to complaining.

Another reason for pathological behavior may be the presence of brain tumors, traumas suffered heads. Such conditions very often become Starting point seizures. But the trigger can be a conflict with superiors or family members. Stress, no matter what the reason, always has a negative impact on any organism, disrupts the functioning of the nervous system, and makes a person excitable.

Among the factors influencing the occurrence of attacks of aggression in men, it is necessary to highlight the social component. We are talking about antisocial traits that are characteristic of humans, the recognition of violent actions as a norm of behavior. And these are the consequences of upbringing, relationships in the developing family young man and genetics.

If a man’s father raised his hand against his mother and suffered from bouts of uncontrollable aggression, then it is quite possible that this behavior will also be characteristic of his son. Maybe not at a young age, but over the years. And then any object in the house can turn into a dangerous weapon of physical violence. That is why it is necessary to keep in your field of vision the person who is having an attack, and not turn your back on him.

Causes of aggression

Aggression is destructive behavior that is contrary to the norms of human morality, which expresses psychological discomfort and physical harm by causing damage to the object of aggression. Most often, unprovoked hostility is explained by the aggressor’s desire to dominate others and includes an encroachment on freedom and personal space, having a destructive effect.

reasons for aggression

The reasons for aggression in men are:

  • alcoholism;
  • consumption of energy drinks;
  • drug addiction and substance abuse;
  • smoking;
  • lack of self-control;
  • physical abnormalities in normal operation vital organs;
  • work and home situations;
  • stress.

In family life, aggression is a common problem, which contributes to the destruction of relationships within the family and its split.

It is known that children and women suffer the most from aggression, becoming targets of violence from men. Every fifth representative of the fairer sex, according to statistics, is constantly beaten and experiences a panicky feeling of fear and hatred towards the family aggressor. A third of crimes occur within the family, which emphasizes the scale of the problem of violence and its global nature.

How to protect yourself from aggression?

To ensure that a woman has the opportunity to protect herself from violence, at the initial stage of building a relationship with a man, she needs to pay attention to his behavior. A loved one's exciting descriptions of fights in which he himself was a direct participant, or about his childhood, where he was beaten with his father's belt more than once, should be alarming.

Moreover, the feeling of guilt is alien to these individuals and is easily transferred to the more fragile female shoulders. In most cases, the attraction to violence is incurable, so you should build relationships with this person with extreme caution or abandon them completely, so that in the future the treatment of aggression does not fall on fragile female shoulders. In any case, attempts to guide a person on the right path with sincere faith in his correction will be in vain.

Breaking, throwing, that the husband breaks surrounding objects, that he is in a state of anger, also indicate his imbalance and lack of self-control. This threatens with the fact that at one point, a loved one - no matter who - may become a replacement for a handy item during a surge of negative emotions.

Threats that are made towards the victim should not be taken as something frivolous. They pose the greatest immediate danger, necessarily involve physical violence, and require immediate action to treat the enemy subject.

Types of male aggressors

In the external environment, they are an ideal family man, the “soul” of any company, a caring man who adores his wife. Quite a number of people are jealous of this woman who has such a wonderful and sweet man with whom she is fantastically lucky. Everything changes radically when a loved one arrives home, instantly takes off his mask and enthusiastically takes out his anger on his other half, doing her “treatment.”

The most dangerous type of man is the one who believes that he is allowed to do anything and everything in his family. The wife, who receives constant beatings from him, is afraid to tell anyone about them due to the possible escalation of the situation. Often fights occur in a drunken state, in front of friends, without a specific reason, and the husband does not consider it necessary to apologize for the violence caused to his intimidated wife.

A person with low self-esteem has failed to realize himself in the world around him. He takes out accumulated aggression and anger for a failed life on more weak woman. He believes that everyone except him is to blame for his failures: society, the political situation, neighbors, wife and children, in the end. He is often friendly with alcohol and is most dangerous when drunk.

In life, he loves his family, takes care of them, and takes part in home life. But this happens up to a certain point. In a state of alcoholic intoxication, he becomes completely uncontrollable, loses control over himself, and uses brute physical force. In the morning he is able to realize what happened, repent, sincerely apologize to his wife with oaths that this will not happen again.

Children face to face with aggression

Male aggression can be directed towards children and animals who are unable to fight back directly. If this happens, from this person you just need to run to avoid dire consequences. A man who once raised his hand to a woman can do the same to her child. A provoking factor in the manifestation of aggression is the use of alcohol or other psychotropic drugs - faithful companions of individuals prone to violence.

A woman who has experienced violence once, and perhaps more than once, from such a man should not believe any of his persuasion. The mechanism of aggression has been launched, and its manifestation will become constant, as it will be the need to vent anger and accumulated negativity into the aggressor.

It is important to take into account that the problem of domestic violence can be clearly seen by the victim of the aggressor, but not by him himself. That is why the rapist categorically refuses psychological assistance and treatment.

The weaker half should under no circumstances tolerate violence against itself, vainly flattering itself with the hope that the aggressor will realize his guilt and come to his senses. Seeing submissive and calm attitude to events of outbursts of anger, a person will show it again and again, treating this as a normal everyday phenomenon.

Patience and inaction are the enemies of aggression

Inaction and patience are the worst possible solution.

Witnesses, and possibly victims of the aggressor, can be children, about whom the aggressor husband thinks least during bouts of unjustified anger. Living in an environment of cruelty and constant fights, which cause psychological trauma for life, they copy this model for themselves as something familiar. In the future, as they grow older, such aggression may become a personality trait and manifest itself towards their loved ones.

Living with an aggressor is dangerous, since his first priority is to satisfy his own ambitions and vent his anger by showing strength towards his loved ones.

Prevention and treatment of aggression

Prevention and treatment of attacks of aggression consist of medical care specialists and social activities, which involve timely detection by others of the onset of an attack and competent behavior during its duration.

It is difficult to pacify aggression in a man, since he is controlled only by negative emotions. Therefore, it is better to switch the aggressor’s attention to positive points. People who decide to enter into conflict with an aggressor need to behave as balanced and calm as possible, staying at a safe distance from him.

If no methods: conversations, persuasion, help from a psychologist, treatment - could bring the desired results, the only way out for a woman there will only be divorce. It is clear that the existing fear of the unknown and concern for the material support of themselves and their children forces women to endure regular beatings, hoping in the future for an improvement in the family situation.

Reasons for living with an aggressor

  • Financial dependence on a man, who may be the only breadwinner in the family, confident that the family will not escape him. A non-working wife is afraid to be left alone, because she does not know how she can support herself and her children. IN in this case she needs to get a job and ask her relatives to help with housing or financially in a new stage of life.
  • Fear of a new wave of aggression. A woman is afraid that an abandoned man will find her and take revenge, even to the point of fatal outcome. This fear forces her to live with the aggressor and endure violence from him. Although you definitely need to run away from such a person, hide for a while, disappear from his field of vision, which will protect you from the expected aggression.
  • Familiarity with a tense family situation. In some cases, this is even beneficial for female victims, since those around her feel sorry for her, sympathize, take his side, condemning her husband-aggressor. It happens that a woman herself is afraid to admit to herself that the current situation suits her completely. In this case, there is only one way out - stop playing the role of a victim who cannot tolerate aggression and think first of all about the children.
  • Beats means he loves. A rule that many women use to deceive themselves and justify their husband’s violent behavior. The mistake is that the victim considers his aggressive actions to be proof of strong love and jealousy. The weaker sex, who lacks love and attention, considers beatings as a concern.
  • Fear of being alone. The fear of being alone and the unreality of finding love in her life prompts a woman not to change the situation and endure humiliation: it would be better to have such a husband that there won’t be any. In reality, many women who took the risk of changing their lives, with newfound independence, successfully built their happiness with another person.
  • Belief in the myth that the husband's behavior will change for the better. Remembering him at the beginning of the relationship as caring and loving, the woman hopes that everything can be returned, you just need a little patience and time. It's a delusion. If a man does not decide to change himself, the woman will continue to endure beatings from him.
    • psychological;
    • physiological;
    • genetic;
    • various diseases.

    1 Etiology

    In a situation where a loved one suddenly begins to show temper and irritability, many do not know how to behave correctly. Unmotivated aggression is not always a reaction to life’s troubles or dissatisfaction with the behavior of relatives. Its causes may lie in complex psychological diseases of a somatic or neurological nature.

    If we turn to the question of the nature of uncontrolled attacks of aggression, it is important to pay attention to the results of a study involving volunteers. Using functional MRI, the brain was examined in men and women prone to displays of rage and aggression. All participants showed similar changes in the background activity of certain areas of the brain. However, despite this, the reasons why outbursts of anger appear are far from the same.

    Causes, causing seizures aggression sometimes lies on the surface. There are situations when it is possible to identify provoking factors only through careful diagnosis. Psychologists have identified a group of the most common reasons:

    1. 1. Psychological release. A person has a lot of tension accumulated inside him, which sooner or later he needs to throw out.
    2. 2. Education and childhood psychological trauma. In this case, anger and aggression in childhood were manifested by loved ones and were the norm in the family. Any negative emotions become habitual.
    3. 3. Self-defense, which a person demonstrates when his personal space is invaded. Anger and negativity are directed not only at people, but also at things.
    4. 4. Low levels of serotonin and dopamine in the body.
    5. 5. High levels of adrenaline and norepinephrine.

    Unreasonable reactions and uncontrollable attacks of anger can occur in combination with physical aggression. In most cases, attacks of anger and rage pass without destructive consequences for the psyche of the patient himself and his loved ones. Often all attempts to cope with the situation are unsuccessful.

    Types and causes of increased temperament

    In psychology, aggressive behavior is usually divided into several types:

    1. 1. Active aggression is typical for people with destructive behavior. In human communication with other people, physical methods for causing harm and destruction predominate. He constantly swears, screams, and is dissatisfied with everything. Negative emotions are expressed in gestures, facial expressions, and intonation.
    2. 2. Auto-aggression is a negative state directed inward. During an attack, the patient causes physical harm, even injury to himself.
    3. 3. Passive aggression characterizes difficult relationships in the family. Without entering into open conflicts, people ignore the requests and instructions of their loved ones. This type of disorder is common to both men and women. Accumulated negativity and anger suddenly burst out. It is in such situations that the most terrible crimes against loved ones.
    4. 4. Family aggression is expressed in moral or physical violence of one spouse towards the other. Here, the provoking factors are jealousy, misunderstanding, financial problems, and intimate dissatisfaction.
    5. 5. Alcohol and drug aggression under the influence of alcoholic beverages. Death of nerve cells is noted, the patient loses the ability to adequately react and perceive the situation. Primitive instincts begin to prevail over adequate behavior, and the patient most often manifests himself as an aggressor and a savage.

    According to another version, the stronger sex acquired excessive belligerence in the process of historical development of mankind. The more assertive and dangerous a man was for his competitors, the fatter the cut - and with it an extra chance for survival - his family received, so there was no reason to remain soft.

    But no matter where the outbursts of male anger originate, they have now been studied in detail, described and even classified.

    In some circumstances, timely exposure of canines is beneficial

    How to classify anger?

    Psychologists distinguish several types of aggression.

    1. Verbal, when shouting, swearing and threatening gestures are used to express emotions, or physical, using force.

    2. Healthy, caused by external circumstances - for example, someone seriously threatens a person and his loved ones - or destructive, arising out of nowhere. By the way, the latter is not entirely true: in fact, unmotivated aggression in men (in women, too, by the way) has its own reasons, which lie in nervous tension, health problems and even mental disorders.

    3. External, relating to people around, or internal, directed at oneself (moral self-flagellation, self-harm).

    4. Direct or passive. With the first, everything is more or less clear: it is always clearly expressed in behavior or words. At passive form aggression, a person does not dare to make a direct challenge, but expresses his negative attitude towards someone through ignoring his requests, sabotaging planned activities, failure to fulfill promises and similar actions.

    Even externally directed aggression has a destructive effect on its owner.

    Why does the “inner beast” awaken?

    What makes a person, who just a minute ago was calm and cheerful, fly into a frenzy, scream and get into a fight? Psychologists have counted half a dozen reasons that cause aggression in a man and a desire to immediately resolve the matter with his fists.

    Physical and nervous exhaustion. If somebody for a long time works to exhaustion, is in a state of constant stress or under psychological pressure, it is not surprising that his ability to control himself begins to fail him.

    Hormonal imbalance. We are sure that the games of hormones only affect the behavior of adolescents and women during the period critical days? Nothing like this! An excess of vasopressin and testosterone, which is also called the hormone of aggression in men, can provoke the stronger sex destructive actions. And a lack of oxytocin reduces a person’s ability to empathize and deprives us of peacefulness.

    Hormonal imbalance can turn a man into a real Hulk

    Alcohol and drugs. Nerve cells who died in an unequal battle with ethyl alcohol And severe poisoning Ethanol breakdown products deprive the drunkard of the ability to correctly perceive the picture of the surrounding world. In addition, at the moment of intoxication, he is guided by instincts that are not bound by either social norms of behavior or morality, so that alcoholic aggression in men can rightfully be called one of the most dangerous species aggression. As for drugs, the situation with them is even worse.

    Features of temperament and shortcomings of upbringing. Some people are simply unable to control themselves during an influx of emotions; they need to make some noise to let off steam. And if in childhood the parents did not teach the boy to express his feelings calmly, adult life with him turns into continuous dancing on a minefield - even a clairvoyant cannot predict when and where the next explosion will thunder.

    Those with a choleric temperament are naturally prone to violence

    Disease. We can talk about either a mental disorder that causes uncontrollable aggression in a man, or a protracted physical illness. Constant pain and poor health do not benefit any character!

    Dissatisfaction with life. A man who is dissatisfied with his social status, marital status, salary or other aspect of life, but at the same time does not feel able to change the situation for the better, often begins to take out his anger on others.

    Physical, when direct force is used to cause physical and moral damage to the enemy;

    Irritation manifests itself in readiness for negative feelings; indirect aggression is characterized in a roundabout way and is directed at another person;

    Negativism is an oppositional manner of behavior, marked by passive resistance to active struggle, directed against established laws and customs;

    Verbal aggression is expressed in negative feelings through such forms as screeching, screaming, through verbal responses (threats, curses);

    Resentment, hatred, envy of others for a fictitious and real action;

    Suspicion is an attitude toward individuals ranging from caution to mistrust, amounting to the belief that other individuals plan and then cause harm;

    Guilt refers to the subject's belief that he bad person When they do evil, such people often experience remorse.

    E. Bass proposed a classification based on the multi-axis principle. This conceptual frame consists of three axes: verbal - physical, passive - active; indirect - direct.

    G. E. Breslav supplemented this classification, believing that an individual simultaneously displays several types of aggressiveness, which constantly change and transform into each other.

    Heteroaggression, which is directed at others; these are murders, beatings, rapes, profanity, threats, insults;

    Auto-aggression, which is directed at oneself, is self-destruction (suicide), psycho somatic diseases, self-destructive behavior;

    Reactive, which represents a response to an external stimulus (conflict, quarrel);

    Spontaneous, which manifests itself without obvious reasons, often under the influence of internal impulses (unprovoked aggressive behavior caused by mental illness and the accumulation of negative emotions).

    Instrumental aggression, which is committed to achieve a result (an athlete striving for victory; a dentist treating a bad tooth; a child demanding to buy a toy);

    Targeted or motivational aggression in a person, which acts as a planned action, the purpose of which is to cause damage or harm to an object (a teenager beat up a classmate after an insult).

    Direct aggression, which is aimed directly at the object, alarming, irritation, agitation (use of physical force, use of open rudeness, death threats);

    Indirect aggression, which is directed at objects that do not directly cause excitement and irritation, however, these objects are more convenient for venting an aggressive state, since they are accessible, and the manifestation of aggressive behavior towards these objects is safe (the father is not in a good mood, when he comes home from work, he breaks down completely family).

    Verbal aggression in humans is expressed in verbal form;

    Expressive aggression in a person is expressed by non-verbal means: facial expressions, gestures, voice intonation (at these moments the person waves his fist, makes a threatening grimace, wags his finger);

    Physical, which includes the direct use of force.

    Irritability in children

    The cause of unmotivated aggression in children can even be the upbringing of parents. Excessive care or, on the contrary, its absence instills certain thoughts and emotions in the child. Dealing with this condition is not so easy, because adolescence everything is perceived most acutely.

    Aggression is based on gender differences in children. Thus, boys reach a special peak of aggressiveness at the age of 14-15 years. For girls, this period begins earlier, at 11 and 13. Aggression can arise as a result of not getting what they want or out of the blue. At this age, children believe that they are right, but their parents do not understand them. The result is aggressiveness, isolation and constant irritability. You shouldn’t put pressure on your child, but waiting until everything goes away on its own is also dangerous.

    There are several main reasons why childhood aggression can develop. These include:

    • indifference or hostility on the part of parents;
    • loss of emotional connection with loved ones;
    • lack of respect for the child's needs;
    • excess or lack of attention;
    • denial of free space;
    • lack of opportunities for self-realization.

    All this indicates that parents themselves are capable of creating the cause of aggression. The formation of character and personal qualities is carried out in childhood. Lack of proper upbringing is the first path to aggression. In some cases, specialized treatment is required aimed at suppressing negative emotions.

    1. Psychological (desire to attract attention, resentment at the actions of adults or peers, indignation at the prohibitions of adults, etc.).

    2. Physiological (feelings of hunger or thirst, fatigue, desire to sleep).

    • perinatal encephalopathy (brain damage during pregnancy or childbirth);
    • allergic diseases;
    • infectious diseases (flu, ARVI, “childhood” infections);
    • individual intolerance to certain products;
    • psychiatric diseases.

    If, with proper upbringing, irritability caused by psychological and physiological reasons softens by about five years, then a genetically determined hot-tempered, irritable character can remain in the child for life. And diseases accompanied by irritability must be treated by a medical specialist (neurologist, allergist, infectious disease specialist, psychiatrist).

    Children often show aggression and irritability due to a lack of behavioral experience in communication. Everything new causes them fear and anxiety and, presumably, irritability. But at the same time, they adapt to changed conditions faster than adults and adapt to them more easily.

    • In the first year of life, irritability is often caused by a speech crisis. The baby begins to master the kingdom of sounds and this scares him a little. A simple show of attention to his efforts to pronounce the first word can help.
    • In the third year, the baby is already faced with self-awareness in the world around him. The “I myself” period begins, at this time it is necessary to support his desire for independence and not interfere with his development.
    • At seven years old it is time to go to school, the period of carefree childhood ends, the first responsibilities and mistakes appear, and this can lead to aggression and irritability. It is necessary to help the child during this period, but under no circumstances fulfill responsibilities for him in an attempt to prolong childhood.
    • The next crisis age occurs in a child teenage years. Everything that is possible is collected here: hormonal changes in the body, opposition to society, first sexual experience, and growing up associated with all this.

    Aggression is based on gender differences in children. Thus, boys reach a special peak of aggressiveness as they age. For girls, this period begins earlier, at 11 and 13. Aggression can arise as a result of not getting what they want or out of the blue. At this age, children believe that they are right, but their parents do not understand them. The result is aggressiveness, isolation and constant irritability. You shouldn’t put pressure on your child, but waiting until everything goes away on its own is also dangerous.

    All this indicates that parents themselves are capable of creating the cause of aggression. The formation of character and personal qualities is carried out in childhood. Lack of proper upbringing is the first path to aggression. In some cases, specialized treatment is required aimed at suppressing negative emotions.

    Often, parents of small children are faced with the following problem: the child swings at people close to him, hits them in the face, pinches them, spits, and uses swear words. You cannot take this behavior of a child calmly. If this kind of situation tends to recur, then parents need to analyze at what moments the child’s attacks of aggression appear, put themselves in the child’s place, and figure out what causes such outbursts of anger.

    Attacks of aggression in a child almost always occur due to external reasons: family troubles, lack of what you want, deprivation of something, experimentation on adults.

    Attacks of aggression in a one-year-old child manifest themselves in the form of bites from an adult or peer. For babies, bites are a way of learning about the world around them. Some one-year-old children resort to biting when they cannot achieve their goal because they cannot express their desires. The bite is an attempt to assert one’s rights, as well as an expression of one’s experience or failure.

    Some children bite when threatened. Babies also bite out of the need for self-defense, since they cannot cope with the situation on their own. There are babies who bite to demonstrate their strength. This is what kids do who strive for power over others. Sometimes bites can also be caused by neurological reasons.

    How to deal with child aggression? Remember that children learn from the examples of those around them. The baby adopts a lot of his behavior from the family. If rough treatment in the family is the norm, then the baby will learn such forms, and the cruel behavior of adults will serve as prerequisites for neuroses. Remember that the baby's behavior is a complete mirror reflection of what is happening in the family.

    Very often, aggressive behavior is a reaction to lack of attention to the child, and thus the baby attracts attention to himself. The child learns that bad behavior quickly earns him long-awaited attention. Therefore, adults should communicate with the child as often as possible, supporting his positive communication with other people and peers.

    It happens that attacks of aggression in a child are provoked by an atmosphere of indulgence, when the child never knows refusal and achieves everything with screams and hysterics. In this case, adults should be patient, because the more advanced the problem, the more difficult it is to carry out corrections to eliminate attacks of aggression in the child.

    Correcting attacks of aggression in a child includes involving game situations and acting them out with toy characters that are close to real situations. As soon as you teach your child to behave calmly, your baby will immediately find a common language with other children.

    Aggression in men

    Unmotivated aggression among representatives of the stronger half can occur due to physiological and psychological characteristics. Increased irritability may indicate chronic diseases, in particular damage to the endocrine system. Nervousness is caused by constant conflicts and stressful situations.

    Attacks of aggression can occur due to grumpiness and rudeness. Psychological nervousness may result from constant lack of sleep, hormonal changes, overwork or depression. The man is dissatisfied with himself and takes his anger out on others. Aggression can also be motivated, namely, associated with noisy neighbors, loud music or TV.

    Sometimes even the most non-conflict people lose their temper and take out their anger on others. This is often due to the fact that a person has been accumulating negative emotions for years and simply does not give them a way out. Over time, patience runs out and aggression comes out for no apparent reason. Sometimes one negative sign is enough for a symptom to appear.

    The main reason for aggression in women is misunderstanding and powerlessness. This happens when a representative of the fair sex is unable to express herself without the support of others. The absence of a specific plan of action causes an emotional explosion.

    Aggression is not dangerous in all cases. Sometimes it's the only way throw out emotions to activate new strength and energy. However, you should not resort to this all the time. Aggression is a positive phenomenon, but only if it is aimed at solving a specific problem. If this condition is permanent and does not bring any relief, under Negative influence family members and relatives are included.

    In this case, aggression indicates chronic fatigue and can appear as a result of constant noise, an influx of negative emotions and minor troubles. If you do not learn to deal with this condition, there is a risk of developing constant aggression. This entails dissatisfaction with one's own life. As a result, not only the woman herself suffers, but also the people around her.

    Motivated aggression can cause diseases, lack of communication and constant noise. Often a woman is susceptible to this condition while raising a child. She has a lack of communication and opportunities for self-expression. All these conditions need to be controlled.

    If a man is irritated, angry for no reason, and often lashes out at others, this is already a diagnosis. And I must say, it’s not very comforting. Male aggression is the subject of study in psychology, neurology, and psychiatry, but to date no universal cure for this disease has been invented. There are too many faces, and even in the first stages, an attack of male aggression is practically indistinguishable from an ordinary, unremarkable irritable state.

    First, let's figure out what aggression is? This word itself has ancient roots and translated from Latin means: “attack, attack.” This term refers to the behavior of people and animals. The former usually have manifestations of verbal (verbal) and physical aggression, which can be directed both at their own kind and at inanimate objects, objects, and phenomena. It is noteworthy that in people aggression can also manifest itself towards themselves - in the form of suicide.

    Aggression tends to manifest itself in several forms at once, which at the same time are its distinctive features from other types of human behavior. Firstly, usually aggression is not actually provoked by anything real - it’s just that the one who is in its state seeks to dominate others.

    It is noteworthy that a person who shows causeless aggression will never admit to himself the presence of deviant behavior, but will say that he was simply not in the mood, and everything has already passed.

    Who gets attacked by aggression?

    The family suffers first. It is the main unit of society that usually takes the most significant part of the blows from male attacks of aggression. Constant scandals, showdowns, numerous humiliations and insults, assault, violent acts are indispensable components of such an attack.

    And the fairer sex has no other choice but to try to mentally absorb the attacks inflicted by the aggressor, as far as is naturally possible from the point of view of personal safety, life and health. Some people remain silent in response to all their husband’s baseless remarks, some try to divert his attention and talk about positive topics, some agree with all the insults directed at them, and some simply run away from home on urgent matters that suddenly appear.

    Alas, all these psychological shock absorbers have a short shelf life, and in some cases they turn out to be simply useless and will in no way be able to protect the family from male attacks of aggression.

    What are the causes of aggressive behavior and are there any?

    Yes, there are reasons for groundless male aggression. But they do not lie in the behavior of the victims of the aggressors, as the latter often explain their position. Attacks of aggression in men always have a certain relationship and interdependence. Only in patients with mental disorders they, taking into account the general clinical picture of a particular disease, are already more clearly manifested.

    The first and most important factor is the presence of psychoactive substances in the body of the stronger sex. Alcoholism, smoking, drinking energy drinks, drug addiction, and substance abuse are not uncommon among the male half of humanity today. So is it any wonder where various neuroses come from in men, when bad habits are the best companions of many?

    Insufficiency of dopamine and serotonin metabolism, which are responsible for self-control, self-esteem, and impulsiveness of a person, also contributes to the appearance of aggression in male behavioral reactions.

    Environmental factors are a special topic. Few of the representatives of the male half of humanity think that the environmental causes of almost any attack of aggression include unstable, stressful, chaotic home and work situations.

    The cause of uncontrolled aggressive behavior in the male and possibly the female half of humanity is also various physiological abnormalities in the activity of vital organs and somatic diseases. For example, brain tumors or brain injuries, metabolic disorders can quite naturally become the starting point of an attack of male aggression. Post-traumatic stress disorder, if not addressed in time, can also easily lead to this result.

    But knowing about the physiological predisposition of the body to deviant behavior, you can prevent the occurrence of an attack of male aggression and even, if possible, take preventive measures.

    What to do with the consequences?

    Among the factors influencing attacks of aggression in men, it is always necessary to highlight not only the medical, but also the social component. Namely: antisocial traits characteristic of a person, when violent actions are recognized by a representative of the stronger sex as an acceptable means to achieve certain goals.

    Therefore, it is believed that prevention and treatment of the consequences of even a single attack of aggression include both medical and social components. The first is associated with contacting specialists in healthcare institutions, with pharmacological influences, the second - with the competent behavior of others who witnessed the onset of the attack.

    http://youtu.be/P62aW55yWgM

    IN men's hands even a simple household item can turn into a serious weapon of aggression. Therefore, immediately pay attention to this and keep the person who is having an attack in your field of vision, under no circumstances turning your back to him.

    It can be difficult to recognize a sign of an incipient attack in male threats. Therefore, challenging words should be taken as seriously as possible, because they are a wake-up call that a male attack of aggression can occur at any moment.

    It is necessary to immediately establish a safe distance between a man who is having an attack of aggression and those around him, as soon as a scandalous, conflictual, life- and health-threatening situation begins. Best in this moment Don’t start being thoughtlessly heroic. And those who decide to come into contact with a person who is in an excited, spontaneously aggressive state need to maintain maximum confidence and calm.

    Looking for a way out of this situation

    It is negative emotions that are the basis of aggressive behavior in people, and the reasons for such emotional states- weight. But knowing the features male psychology, to some extent, it is possible to switch the attention of men prone to attacks of aggression to positive life moments.

    Taking into account the peculiarities of motivation for male aggressive behavior, you can try to simulate situations in which negativity would be directed not into a fit of rage, but in a positive direction. But without the qualified help of a psychologist, neurologist, or psychiatrist, all these unprofessionally performed psychotherapeutic delights may not always end in calming the aggressor.

    Menstruation

    Aggression as a symptom of a disease

    The appearance of unmotivated aggression occurs as a result of certain diseases. These include:

    • hyperthyroidism;
    • excess weight;
    • neurological disorders;
    • personality disorders;
    • injuries;
    • malignant neoplasms.

    Hyperthyroidism. Increased irritability for no particular reason may indicate problems with hormonal levels. Often this symptom develops in women. Affected people may feel hungry but remain thin. Excessive food consumption does not affect your figure in any way. The disease can be recognized by nervousness, high activity, red skin and excessive sweating.

    Excess weight. Fat deposits can provoke the production of estrogen. As a result, there is a negative impact on the psyche, both in women and men. It is enough to get rid of extra pounds - and the unpleasant symptom will go away by itself.

    Neurological disorders. Aggression may be a symptom serious illnesses and lead to Alzheimer's disease. A person gradually loses interest in life and withdraws into himself. In this case, excessive aggressiveness and memory problems are noted. This symptomatology is serious reason in order to see a doctor.

    Often the causes of aggression are hidden in sociopathy, stress disorder or alcohol addiction. The first condition is a character anomaly. A person does not need the company of other people, moreover, he is afraid of them. This congenital problem, associated with inferiority of the nervous system. Stress disorder creates a hostile attitude towards others.

    The result of increased irritability of a psychological nature is chronic lack of sleep, constant overwork, depression and, of course, stress. A man is often dissatisfied with himself, and accordingly, he is irritated by the people around him. Also the reason increased nervousness can be loud noise neighbors: daily parties, continuous renovations, very loud TV sound.

    People usually try to restrain their irritation, but at one point, the long-accumulated negativity spills out. The result is a nervous breakdown, scandal, mutual insults. Sometimes a person accumulates anger for years, then this condition develops into an advanced form and is very difficult to cure.

    Irritability, Bad mood and nervousness is usually accompanied general weakness, fatigue, fatigue, excessive drowsiness or, conversely, insomnia. Very rarely, an irritated person becomes tearful, a feeling of apathy and anxiety arises, most often anger, rage and unmotivated aggression predominate.

    The main signs of an irritated state can be called: sudden movements, a shrill loud voice and frequently repeated movements - tapping fingers, swinging a leg, continuous walking from side to side. This is the way people try to remove emotional stress, put your things in order peace of mind.

    Nervousness often causes a decrease in sexual activity and loss of interest in any activity. Irritability outbursts manifest differently in different people. Sometimes a person is boiling inside, but he doesn’t show it outwardly. And in some cases, attacks of anger manifest themselves with the use of physical force, damage to property, and moral humiliation.

    More recently, medicine has become aware of a new disease - syndrome male irritability(SMR). Nervousness and irritability in men mainly occur during menopause due to the fact that the body produces little testosterone. Due to a lack of testosterone, representatives of the stronger sex become more irritable and aggressive, and at the same time they are worried about fatigue and drowsiness.

    In addition, irritability is further increased due to the large amount of work and the fear of developing impotence, which will have to be treated. During menopause, it is advisable for men to include foods containing protein in their diet. Sleep should be complete (7-8 hours), and the patient and caring attitude of loved ones is especially necessary.

    Personality disorders. Unmotivated aggression can be a sign of serious mental problems and even schizophrenia. Most schizophrenics live normal lives, presenting no danger to others. During periods of exacerbation, their aggressiveness increases, which requires psychiatric treatment. Trauma and malignant neoplasms.

    Attacks of aggression treatment

    A professional psychologist should treat attacks of aggression. Most patients cannot indicate the exact causes of attacks, and, accordingly, try to change their behavior on their own. The main recommendations of experts are to change the pace of life, relax, and perhaps take a vacation from work.

    An important method of stopping aggression is its sublimation (transfer) to another type of activity, for example, sports or hobbies. You can throw out negative energy through moderate workload. It is possible to sublimate uncontrolled aggression into other emotions, and the main thing is that they are safe for loved ones and people around them.

    In case of a complex course of the disorder, sedatives with a sedative effect. Taking antidepressants or tranquilizers is indicated in exceptional cases. Drug therapy is carried out under the strict supervision of a therapist. Effective methods are physical therapy and gymnastics, water procedures, and massage. Some people prefer to relax through yoga.

    Experts warn against holding on to the accumulated negativity day after day. There is a high risk of developing dangerous consequences both for the mental state and for physical health. Scientists have discovered that negative emotions sooner or later spill out. However, this is not always safe for others. If the oppressive feelings of anger and aggression cannot be eliminated on your own, it is better not to delay and turn to specialists.

    Aggressive men rarely seek help themselves; usually, the wives of aggressors ask how to deal with their husband’s aggression.

    There are a lot of ways to deal with aggression, but the most important thing is a person’s understanding and desire to cope with his character. It is impossible to help a domestic tyrant who takes pleasure in intimidating his family. Such a person does not see a problem in his behavior and does not want to change anything.

    When communicating with such people or when interacting with aggressive people whom you do not intend to help, you should follow the following rules:

    • No Contact – Avoid any conversation, communication or any interaction with such people.
    • Do not answer questions and do not give in to provocations - this is the most important thing when dealing with family aggressors. No matter how difficult it may be, you must not give in to various methods provocations and remain calm.
    • Asking for help is important not to be shy and not to become dependent on the aggressor. Seeking help helps avoid further aggression.
    • Control over your behavior - you need to know what situations or factors can cause aggression and avoid such situations or find other ways to solve the problem.
    • The ability to relax - the ability to switch and relieve nervous tension helps reduce aggression.
    • Breathing exercises or physical exercises – a good way to deal with aggression is to do a few exercises or “breathe” through emotions.
    • Sedatives – herbal preparations help cope with irritability, improve sleep and reduce aggression.

    Regular attacks of aggression are a reason to consult a neurologist, endocrinologist and therapist. Only after excluding endocrine and neurological diseases You can begin treatment for aggression. It is equally important to establish a daily routine, reduce physical and mental stress and devote time to sports and walks every day. fresh air.

    A psychologist will help you understand your own life. It is possible that you have chosen too high a pace for yourself, and have also placed unbearable loads on yourself. In this case, stress, as well as the syndrome emotional burnout almost inevitable.

    How to deal with attacks of aggression? Try not to keep all negative accumulated thoughts, as well as irritation, within yourself, because the more anger you have inside, the stronger the attacks of aggression will be. Slow down your personal pace of life and allow yourself to relax. If you feel that you cannot cope with work pressure, discuss this with your colleagues and superiors.

    Take a vacation, a long weekend, take a break from work. Taking herbal soothing teas (St. John's wort, thyme, oregano, peppermint, motherwort cordial, chamomile, valerian officinalis, linden cordate, etc.) will help relieve mental stress and prevent sudden attacks of aggression from developing.

    How to get rid of attacks of aggression? Effective means are the transformation of aggressive tension into something else: sports, yoga, meditation.

    Unmotivated frequent attacks of aggression and hatred are suppressed by taking atypical antipsychotics: Clozapine, Risperdal. They give positive effect Valproic acid, Lithium salts, Trazodone, Carbamazepine. High efficiency tricyclic antidepressants are provided.

    A special place is given to psychotherapy in the treatment of attacks of aggression. There are specially developed techniques, the purpose of which is to redirect and suppress aggression.

    After completing a course of psychotherapy, you can learn techniques for quickly relieving aggressive tension. For example, at the peak of unmotivated aggressiveness, tear newspapers to shreds, wash floors, wash clothes, hit a sofa cushion.

    Get serious about sports. Sports anger will give an adrenaline rush and suppress your aggressive state.

    How to deal with an aggressor? Assess the potential danger (objects that can be used for attack). Assess the physical behavior of the aggressor (fists or kicking). Always keep the aggressor in sight, control his behavior, never turn your back on him. Always take all verbal threats seriously and keep a safe distance.

    How to get rid of irritability

    In no case should you take increased irritability lightly, attributing its presence to character traits or difficult living conditions. It may indicate some kind of disease. If this problem is not treated, then in the future it can lead to depletion of the nervous system, the development of neurosis and other complications.

    Psychologists recommend not focusing on negative emotions, learn to switch to thoughts that are pleasant for you. You should not isolate yourself; it is better to tell about troubles to a person you trust. Try to control outbursts of anger. You can count to ten in your head; such a pause will help you cope with your emotions.

    You should not strive for unattainable ideals, because it is impossible to be perfect in everything. It is advisable to further increase your motor activity, this will help cope with anger and irritation. Always try to get enough sleep; the body needs 7-8 hours of good sleep to recover. With increased irritability and overwork, even a short week-long vacation will be of great benefit.

    In some cases, irritability and aggression are treated with medications, but only as prescribed by a doctor. If the cause of the problem is a mental illness (for example, depression), then antidepressant drugs are prescribed: Prozac, Fluoxetine or Amitriptyline. They improve the patient's mood, thus reducing irritability.

    For this problem Special attention focus on normalizing men's sleep. For this purpose, sleeping pills and sedatives (tranquilizers) are prescribed. If the dream is in order, but at the same time there is anxiety, then the patient is prescribed sedatives that do not cause drowsiness.

    Traditional medicine methods are often used to combat irritability. Very helpful medicinal herbs in the form of tinctures and decoctions (valerian, borage, motherwort, coriander), as well as medicinal baths. For excessive aggression and irritability traditional healers It is advised to use spice powders of cloves, cumin or cardamom internally.

    However folk remedies cannot be used in cases of mental illness. Hot baths, for example, can trigger an exacerbation of schizophrenia. Such treatment is possible only with the permission of a doctor.

    2. Don’t keep troubles to yourself; tell about them to a person you trust.

    3. If you are prone to outbursts of anger, learn to restrain yourself, at least for a short time (count to ten in your head). This short pause will help you deal with your emotions.

    4. Learn to give in to other people.

    5. Don’t strive for unattainable ideals; understand: it’s simply impossible to be perfect in everything.

    6. Increase your physical activity: this will help cope with anger and irritation.

    7. Try to find an opportunity in the middle of the day to rest and relax for at least a quarter of an hour.

    8. Take up auto-training.

    9. Avoid lack of sleep: to restore strength, the body needs 7-8 hours of sleep.

    10. With overwork and increased irritability, even a short (week-long) vacation away from all worries will be of great benefit.

    Unmotivated aggression can arise as a result of a strong shock or a critical situation. However, this symptom may appear out of nowhere, which should alert a person. Unmotivated aggression for no particular reason may indicate the presence of a serious illness.

    Aggression as a symptom of a disease

    The appearance of unmotivated aggression occurs as a result of certain diseases. These include:

    • hyperthyroidism;
    • excess weight;
    • neurological disorders;
    • personality disorders;
    • injuries;
    • malignant neoplasms.

    Hyperthyroidism. Increased irritability for no particular reason may indicate problems with hormonal levels. Often this symptom develops in women. Affected people may feel hungry but remain thin. Excessive food consumption does not affect your figure in any way. The disease can be recognized by nervousness, high activity, red skin and excessive sweating.

    Excess weight. Fat deposits can provoke the production of estrogen. As a result, there is a negative impact on the psyche, both in women and men. It is enough to get rid of extra pounds - and the unpleasant symptom will go away by itself.

    Neurological disorders. Aggression can be a symptom of serious illnesses and lead to... A person gradually loses interest in life and withdraws into himself. In this case, excessive aggressiveness and memory problems are noted. This symptomatology is a serious reason to consult a doctor.

    Personality disorders. Unmotivated aggression can be a sign of serious mental problems and even schizophrenia. Most schizophrenics live normal lives, presenting no danger to others. During periods of exacerbation, their aggressiveness increases, which requires psychiatric treatment. Trauma and malignant neoplasms. Mental excitability can be caused by brain damage. Rage and high activity may give way to apathy. All this indicates a serious injury or tumor process.

    Often the causes of aggression are hidden in sociopathy, stress disorder or alcohol addiction. The first condition is a character anomaly. A person does not need the company of other people, moreover, he is afraid of them. This is a congenital problem associated with the inferiority of the nervous system. Stress disorder creates a hostile attitude towards others. This happens if a person is constantly in the midst of unpleasant situations. An aggressive state is also typical for people suffering from alcoholism.

    Return to contents

    Aggression in men

    Unmotivated aggression among representatives of the stronger half can occur due to physiological and psychological characteristics. Increased irritability may indicate chronic diseases, in particular damage to the endocrine system. Nervousness is caused by constant conflicts and stressful situations.

    Attacks of aggression can occur due to grumpiness and rudeness. Psychological nervousness can appear as a result of constant lack of sleep, hormonal changes, overwork or depression. The man is dissatisfied with himself and takes his anger out on others. Aggression can also be motivated, namely, associated with noisy neighbors, loud music or TV.

    Sometimes even the most non-conflict people lose their temper and take out their anger on others. This is often due to the fact that a person has been accumulating negative emotions for years and simply does not give them a way out. Over time, patience runs out and aggression comes out for no apparent reason. Sometimes one negative sign is enough for a symptom to appear. It could be a loud voice or flick. The person breaks down instantly and is unable to control himself. It is necessary to monitor own fortune and try to stop aggression in time.

    Return to contents

    Aggression in women

    The main reason for aggression in women is misunderstanding and powerlessness. This happens when a representative of the fair sex is unable to express herself without the support of others. The absence of a specific plan of action causes an emotional explosion.

    Aggression is not dangerous in all cases. Sometimes this is the only way to throw out emotions to activate new strength and energy. However, you should not resort to this all the time. Aggression is a positive phenomenon, but only if it is aimed at solving a specific problem. If this condition is constant and does not bring any relief, family members and relatives fall under the negative influence. In this case, aggression indicates chronic fatigue and can appear as a result of constant noise, an influx of negative emotions and minor troubles. If you do not learn to deal with this condition, there is a risk of developing constant aggression. This entails dissatisfaction with one's own life. As a result, not only the woman herself suffers, but also the people around her.

    Motivated aggression can be caused by diseases, lack of communication and constant noise. Often a woman is susceptible to this condition while raising a child. She has a lack of communication and opportunities for self-expression. All these conditions need to be controlled.

    Return to contents

    Aggression in children and adolescents

    The cause of unmotivated aggression in children can even be the upbringing of parents. Excessive care or, on the contrary, its absence instills certain thoughts and emotions in the child. Dealing with this condition is not so easy, since in adolescence everything is perceived most acutely.

    Aggression is based on gender differences in children. Thus, boys reach a special peak of aggressiveness at the age of 14-15 years. For girls, this period begins earlier, at 11 and 13. Aggression can arise as a result of not getting what they want or out of the blue. At this age, children believe that they are right, but their parents do not understand them. The result is aggressiveness, isolation and constant irritability. You shouldn’t put pressure on your child, but waiting until everything goes away on its own is also dangerous.

    There are several main reasons why childhood aggression can develop. These include:

    • indifference or hostility on the part of parents;
    • loss of emotional connection with loved ones;
    • lack of respect for the child's needs;
    • excess or lack of attention;
    • denial of free space;
    • lack of opportunities for self-realization.

    All this indicates that parents themselves are capable of creating the cause of aggression. The formation of character and personal qualities is carried out in childhood. Lack of proper upbringing is the first path to aggression. In some cases, specialized treatment is required aimed at suppressing negative emotions.

    Most people experience outbursts of anger throughout their lives. The reasons for this condition may be conflicts, quarrels with loved ones and in the family.

    However, when uncontrollable episodes of aggression occur, this may be cause for concern. Not only those around the aggressor suffer from regular attacks, but also the aggressor himself.

    Causes of attacks of aggression

    As a rule, the causes of this condition are the subject’s internal experiences and problems. It could be constant pressure, heightened feeling responsibility, accumulated anger, constant stress and irritation, pain, self-doubt. All these experiences can accumulate and be contained, but in the end they spill out in the form of aggressive attacks.

    The causes of attacks of aggression can also be hidden in an excessively fast pace of life, too much workload in conditions of lack of rest, failure in personal aspirations. Some people experience attacks of aggression if something happens around them that is contrary to their personal idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat is “correct”. As a rule, they are extremely irritable, it is difficult for them to control their anger and it most often comes to assault.

    Aggression in itself is a completely natural reaction of the body to its environment. However, uncontrolled attacks of aggression can cause harm to society. The aggressor himself, having splashed out accumulated feelings on those around him, over time begins to realize his misdeeds, experiences feelings of remorse, and an unpleasant aftertaste remains in his soul.

    As a rule, in such cases the feeling of guilt does not last long, and the situation soon repeats itself. In this state, a person behaves inappropriately, so it can ultimately destroy family, friendships, and lead to dismissal from work. At the same time, subsequent awareness of what happened causes harm to the aggressor himself, causing severe depression.

    Attacks of aggression in children

    Quite often, parents of young children are faced with an unusually pronounced disturbance in the upbringing of their child: he spits, uses swear words, bites, swings at other children or his loved ones, and throws small things. Of course, this behavior cannot be ignored.

    However, in no case should you reprimand the child or try to wean him from such actions by force - this will only lead to a worsening of his condition. In such a situation, it is necessary to analyze what is happening, pay attention to the conditions under which the baby becomes irritated, and understand what provoked it.

    Most often, attacks of aggression in children occur due to various external factors: failure to get what you want, trouble and a tense atmosphere in the family, “testing” a certain model of behavior on adults. Young children can show aggression by biting adults. Bite for small child- This is a unique way of understanding the world around us and contacting it.

    If there is a desire to get something, to achieve something, and in conditions of the impossibility of this desire, a child can bite an adult. With this he can express his experience or failure, try to assert his rights. Don't forget that babies can bite in self-defense when they feel in danger.

    There are cases when a child’s aggressive behavior is provoked by indulgence in the family, when the child always gets what he wants, achieving it by shouting and showing strength and affirmation. In such cases, parents should be extremely patient and calm, as similar condition very quickly goes into an advanced stage and is difficult to correct.

    Remember that a child is prone to imitation and following an example. His behavior, most often, is a mirror image of what is happening in the family. Analyze the situation, understand why your baby behaves this way, and only then start adjusting his upbringing.

    Aggression in men

    Often, aggression in men is the result of bad upbringing, heredity, and the development of a personality disorder such as psychopathy. The fight against this condition is based on the timely identification of a psychopath and eliminating the possibility of his conflict with society.

    It is characterized by a pronounced aggravation of emotional reactions. This manifests itself in a lack of restraint, increased cravings for and addiction to alcohol, a tendency to conflicts and aggressive behavior.

    Psychopaths show interest in the opposite sex - they can be quite interesting, but they deceive a woman with a smile on their face, tend to use her, empty her and abandon her, after which the woman feels a strong disturbance of spiritual balance and depression.

    Many sexologists emphasize the fact that the tendency to such behavior, as well as aggression and outbursts of anger, may be due to prolonged abstinence. Before the age of 30, this condition easily goes away on its own, while after 40 it requires long-term treatment.

    Aggression in women

    In women, violent episodes are often associated with postpartum depression. Sometimes they fail to “adapt” to the new responsibilities and roles that appear after the birth of a child. At the same time, a number of household chores are shouldered, which creates an extremely unfavorable atmosphere. In such cases, it is most reasonable to resort to a rational distribution of responsibilities and labor in the family.

    Aggression in women has a good tendency to transform into something else. Various distracting hobbies and free time are helpful. Calming activities such as yoga or meditation are recommended. It would also be reasonable to refuse bad habits, consumption of energy drinks containing caffeine.

    Fighting attacks of aggression

    First of all, the fight against attacks of aggression consists of adjusting your lifestyle. A psychologist can help you cope with this. It is possible that you lead an overly busy life and take on excessive responsibilities and stress.

    Try not to keep all the accumulating emotions and experiences to yourself, since the greater the internal tension, the more dangerous the attack of aggression. Learn to get proper rest. Good method It is also a transformation of aggression into something else, which can be helped by playing sports and various types of active recreation.

    If you yourself are faced with an aggressor, then you need to be sufficiently careful, since the person is in this state may be inadequate. Always keep your distance, try to speak soothingly and quietly.

    Never turn your back on the aggressor and keep him in sight, and take all verbal threats seriously. If necessary, do not be afraid to ask others for help, as we're talking about about your safety.

    Attacks of aggression Occur periodically in many people. This is facilitated by critical situations, quarrels, stress, nervous tension. However, if outbursts of anger arise without a good reason and are repeated regularly, becoming uncontrollable, then this is a reason to think about the reasons for the occurrence of such behavior. Often, the closest and dearest people, as well as the aggressor himself, suffer from this condition.

    Causes of attacks of aggression

    The causes of aggressive behavior are a person’s internal problems, which include an increased, constant sense of responsibility, fatigue, irritability, pain, anger, and self-doubt. All of the above accumulated, looking for a way out in the form of outbursts of anger.

    The cause of attacks of aggression in a person is also a high pace of life, unbearable stress, insufficient rest, personal and professional failures, and futility of expectations. Other individuals experience bouts of aggression if something does not happen as they expected. Often it is very difficult for such people to control aggressiveness and it even comes to assault. If you do not pay attention to this problem for a long time, problems will arise. psychological problems that will affect personal relationships.

    Attacks of aggression in women may indicate serious problems(endocrine and vascular diseases, epileptic activity, intake hormonal drugs, birth injuries and traumatic brain injuries). To find out, you should conduct a thorough diagnosis and then begin treatment.

    Uncontrollable attacks of aggression

    Irritability and anger are a natural reaction of the body to the environment, but if uncontrolled attacks of aggression occur, they can become dangerous for society. The aggressor, having splashed out claims, reproaches, and insults on those around him, then strongly repents and regrets, feeling empty and depressed, feeling an unpleasant aftertaste in his soul. Feelings of regret and guilt do not last long, so the next time the situation repeats itself. There are also cases of assault. Emerging attacks of aggression in a person can destroy a family, since the person suffering from uncontrollable attacks of aggression behaves inappropriately.

    Uncontrolled attacks of aggression at work can lead to dismissal, and as a result, other psychosomatic diseases.

    Uncontrollable attacks of aggression in some people occur due to sudden pain and fatigue.

    Attacks of aggression in men

    Many experts argue that long-term abstinence contributes to physiological disorders in the body of men, leading to anger and attacks of aggression. Male physiological disorders manifest themselves in erectile dysfunction, as well as premature ejaculation. Before the age of 30, this is all easily restored; after 40, it requires long-term treatment, and after 50, treatment is ineffective.

    Attacks of aggression in men occur due to poor upbringing, heredity and personality disorder. Treatment includes early recognition of psychopaths and neutralization of their influence.

    How can a woman recognize a psychopath? A psychopath is characterized by a clear expression of emotional reactions, which manifest themselves in incontinence, addiction to alcohol, and a tendency to aggression. The main features of psychopathy are extreme irritability, excitability, explosiveness and anger. You can have a good time with a psychopathic man, but you will have to pay for it. A psychopath will deceive a woman with a smile on his face and terrify her with just one look. And when a woman ceases to interest him, the psychopath will devastate her and deprive her of peace of mind, as well as self-esteem, for a long time. The woman will turn sad and will think for a long time where she made a mistake. After such communication, a woman needs rehabilitation with a psychologist to restore her mental strength. If you have been assaulted, then in this case you should think about your safety: parting with such a man.

    Attacks of aggression in women

    Uncontrollable attacks of aggression in women often occur for a reason. The mother fails to adapt to new circumstances in the form of the arrival of a new family member - a baby, who turns the relationship in a couple into a “triad”.

    Often there are attacks of aggression in women who have shouldered household life, as well as raising children, on their fragile shoulders. If a woman does not keep up with household chores, and the whims of her child cause her attacks of aggression, it is necessary to attract help from loved ones (husband, older children, parents and grandparents). Let them help you: take care of cleaning, ironing shirts, taking care of animals, shopping, playing with children. The most important thing is to restore the woman’s previous emotional balance. Until a woman’s nervous tension is released, uncontrollable attacks of aggression will not end.

    Attacks of aggression in women are relieved by transforming tension into something else. Sports, hobbies, or something relaxing and calming (yoga or stretching) help with this. Dancing will bring quite a lot of positive emotions, which will relax and strengthen a woman’s nervous system. It is important to pay attention to your diet, give up cigarettes, coffee, energy drinks and alcoholic drinks.

    Attacks of aggression in women occur if a woman is left without male attention, since this negatively affects the nervous system and leads to depression and neuroses, which can turn into hysteria and attacks of aggression. Long-term abstinence in women leads to decreased libido or frigidity. Sexual dissatisfaction leads to a sharp decline in work activity, to uncontrollable seizures aggression. This is especially clearly expressed during abstinence in women. It has been established that those women who do not have permanent intimate relationships, look older than their peers who have regular sexual relations.

    Attacks of aggression in a child

    Often, parents of small children are faced with the following problem: the child swings at people close to him, hits them in the face, pinches them, spits, and uses swear words. You cannot take this behavior of a child calmly. If this kind of situation tends to recur, then parents need to analyze at what moments the child’s attacks of aggression appear, put themselves in the child’s place, and figure out what causes such outbursts of anger.

    Attacks of aggression in a child almost always occur for external reasons: family troubles, lack of what they want, deprivation of something, experimentation on adults.

    Attacks of aggression in a one-year-old child manifest themselves in the form of bites from an adult or peer. For babies, bites are a way of learning about the world around them. Some one-year-old children resort to biting when they cannot achieve their goal because they cannot express their desires. The bite is an attempt to assert one’s rights, as well as an expression of one’s experience or failure. Some children bite when threatened. Babies also bite out of the need for self-defense, since they cannot cope with the situation on their own. There are babies who bite to demonstrate their strength. This is what kids do who strive for power over others. Sometimes bites can also be caused by neurological reasons. When you understand what causes your child’s negative behavior, it will be easier for you to help him cope with himself and teach him positive techniques for resolving conflict situations.

    How to deal with child aggression? Remember that children learn from the examples of those around them. The baby adopts a lot of his behavior from the family. If rough treatment in the family is the norm, then the baby will learn such forms, and the cruel behavior of adults will serve as prerequisites for neuroses. Remember that the baby's behavior is a complete mirror reflection of what is happening in the family. Very often, aggressive behavior is a reaction to lack of attention to the child, and thus the baby attracts attention to himself. The child learns that bad behavior quickly earns him long-awaited attention. Therefore, adults should communicate with the child as often as possible, supporting his positive communication with other people and peers.

    It happens that attacks of aggression in a child are provoked by an atmosphere of indulgence, when the child never knows refusal and achieves everything with screams and hysterics. In this case, adults should be patient, because the more advanced the problem, the more difficult it is to carry out corrections to eliminate attacks of aggression in the child. You shouldn’t expect that the child will grow up and everything will change. A mandatory rule in communicating with a child is the constancy of adults’ demands in all situations, especially when aggression occurs.

    Correcting attacks of aggression in a child includes involving game situations and acting them out with toy characters that are close to real situations. As soon as you teach your child to behave calmly, your baby will immediately find a common language with other children.

    Attacks of aggression treatment

    A psychologist will help you understand your own life. It is possible that you have chosen too high a pace for yourself, and have also placed unbearable loads on yourself. In this case, stress is also almost inevitable.

    How to deal with attacks of aggression? Try not to keep all negative accumulated thoughts, as well as irritation, within yourself, because the more anger you have inside, the stronger the attacks of aggression will be. Slow down your personal pace of life and allow yourself to relax. If you feel that you cannot cope with work pressure, discuss this with your colleagues and superiors. Take a vacation, a long weekend, take a break from work. Taking herbal soothing teas (St. John's wort, thyme, oregano, peppermint, motherwort cordial, chamomile, valerian officinalis, linden cordate, etc.) will help relieve mental stress and prevent sudden attacks of aggression from developing.

    How to get rid of attacks of aggression? Effective means are the transformation of aggressive tension into something else: sports, yoga, meditation.

    Unmotivated frequent attacks of aggression and hatred are suppressed by taking atypical antipsychotics: Clozapine, Risperdal. Valproic acid, Lithium salts, Trazodone, Carbamazepine have a positive effect. Tricyclic antidepressants are highly effective.

    A special place is given to psychotherapy in the treatment of attacks of aggression. There are specially developed techniques, the purpose of which is redirection and suppression.

    After completing a course of psychotherapy, you can learn techniques for quickly relieving aggressive tension. For example, at the peak of unmotivated aggressiveness, tear newspapers to shreds, wash floors, wash clothes, hit a sofa cushion.

    Get serious about sports. Sports anger will give an adrenaline rush and suppress your aggressive state.

    How to deal with an aggressor? Assess the potential danger (objects that can be used for attack). Assess the physical behavior of the aggressor (fists or kicking). Always keep the aggressor in sight, control his behavior, never turn your back on him. Always take all verbal threats seriously and keep a safe distance. Do not hesitate to ask for additional help, because this concerns your safety. Be confident, remain calm, try to relieve aggression with a calm conversation, do not argue with the aggressor.

    Hello, I'm 24 years old. I have a very sensitive sleep, mostly I am very aggressive when I can’t sleep or when something wakes me up. But it happens that I get angry very easily, and at the same time I almost begin to shake and it is often impossible to control my anger, which leads to consequences. I tried to learn to control myself, but still ended up losing it even more seriously after a while

    • Hello, Evgeniy. Often, aggression and anger are beyond a person’s independent control for reasons beyond his control.
      Approximately 10% of adults suffer from a variety of personality disorders related to borderline psychiatry. People suffering from this pathology usually do not understand the full extent of their disease and therefore do not consider it necessary to contact doctors for help.

    Hello, I’m still 17, all my life I’ve been a calm, shy child. Over time, I began to work on my character, thereby becoming less shy... but now there are mild irritants (like: I gave a friend a cap, but he does not give it back as a joke) or when they argue with me for a long time. I don’t have time to understand how I’m already lashing out at these people with rude words or threats, sometimes I want to hit a person, but I always stop, after which I feel ashamed. It’s just that if I’m in a state of peace and someone disturbs it, then I break down...
    I don't know, maybe it's teenage. But I can’t, I don’t want people to see me as such a person, I don’t want this to progress over time.

    Hello! I would like to contact you. I myself have outbursts of anger, especially when they don’t understand me, touch my things, rearrange something, or try to argue with me. I want them to listen to me calmly and that’s all. At such moments, if people themselves do not calm down or even provoke them even more, then you want to break, cut or break something. When I break a couple of glasses, the aggression is removed almost instantly. At these moments you stop being yourself and cannot control yourself. What should I do? No matter how much I try, I can only be calm with very calm people. Neither meditation, nor yoga, nor sports helps.

    • Hello Irina. In this case, drug treatment and cognitive psychotherapy will help.

    Hello!
    I have problems with my husband. Periodically, it flares up out of the blue, it is impossible to stop it, it raises its hand. We have two small children, I fear for our future. The rest of the time he wonderful person, caring father and loving husband. He is ready to work with a psychologist or psychiatrist. But my question is: is it possible to get rid of these outbursts of anger forever? Or will there be a lull only while taking the medications? I live with him like on a volcano, you never know when an eruption will begin.

    • Hello Svetlana. Your attending physician will answer all questions regarding treatment, but only after an in-person consultation and diagnostics.

    Hello! I love my husband, but he has terrible temper tantrums... the last one resulted in me being beaten. By all indications, he has a psychopathy. Is there any point in fighting for our marriage or is everything doomed? Should we both see a psychologist?

    Hello!
    A loved one has experienced severe psychological trauma in the past (he was threatened for some time after the incident).
    Now he has a fear of large crowds of people, big cities and a mania of persecution. He is afraid that he is being followed and that he will be killed.
    In this regard, he has attacks of aggression.
    It didn’t come to the point of assault, but in words he ceases to control himself.
    He doesn’t want treatment, and frank conversations don’t help... Please tell me how to help him. Thank you in advance!

    • Hello Lina. Try to create such an atmosphere for your loved one so that he can rethink everything that is happening to him. He needs to analyze his feelings and accept them internally, coming to terms with the negative experience. This is necessary in order to continue to move forward in life and not get stuck on your experiences. Love, understanding, harmony, and emotional contact on your part will be important to him. The fact that he breaks down and becomes aggressive is normal for his condition. It is difficult for him to suppress his emotions and not allow them to come out. Thus, his nervous mental tension finds an outlet. Therefore, we recommend not to irritate him in actions and words, but to try to become a necessary and indispensable person for him.

    Good day...I'm shouting about my problem!!! Help! I’m a guy, I’m 21. I’ve caught my youngest nephew, he’s 11, smoking or lying more than once, and every time I take it out on him. ...in anger I almost beat him. Recently I had a fight with my wife, she really hurt my male ego and I flared up, everything went dark in my eyes, I destroyed everything in the apartment, threw her on the bed, on the floor... in general, I went wild... when I saw fear and tears in her eyes, she called me the devil then they let me go and I silently left... help me!!! I apologize for the errors in the text. I am writing in desperation.

    Hello. I have a friend. He turns 19 years old. He often has attacks of aggression. He can throw out all his anger either verbally, that is, by yelling at everyone who is nearby, or in addition to this, by kicking or punching the door several times, and he can also throw everything that is nearby. Such outbursts mainly happen in the presence of his mother, since he does not like that she pesters him with all sorts of questions. Personally, I think that, firstly, he was raised that way, and secondly, inheritance from his dad. He seems to understand that this is not normal, but he can’t do anything about it. Please tell me what to do in this case for both me and him!!

    I am 36 years old. In my youth I did not notice any outbursts of aggression. Then it started. He was convicted of intentionally causing bodily harm. I got free, came to the village - everyone drinks here! Constant brawls and fights, these people irritate and offend me, I want to answer them and even hit them, but I understand that I will get jail time again. I’m holding on with all my might, I’m afraid I won’t be able to control the aggression! Became nervous. Moved to the city to avoid confrontations with these people. But I'm afraid that the situation may repeat itself here. Tell me what to do??

    • Hello, Evgeniy. First of all, do not resist internally what you do not agree with. If people want to drink - let them drink, if they want to fight - let them fight, if they want to degrade and not develop - so be it. This is their life choice, not yours.
      At the moment of approaching aggression, when everything is boiling inside, change the topic of conversation, leave, switch your attention to something neutral and pleasant for you.
      Tell yourself words of self-command: “Stop.” Self-orders always precede the actions performed.
      Accept people for who they are with all their flaws, just watch them and everything that happens. Don't change them and the situation around you. You cannot change the world, but you can change your attitude towards everything that happens and live calmly.
      “I moved to the city to avoid clashes with these people” - In the city, of course, it is easier to avoid unnecessary contacts with people, but they will still remain. Don't expand your circle of friends.
      In your case, communication with animals and being in the fresh air as much as possible will be ideal, which will calm the nervous system.
      Glycine and valerian in tablets will also help keep your psycho-emotional state normal.

    Hello. I am 28 years old, I suffer from attacks of aggression, and I understand that I am doing the wrong thing, but I can’t do anything. I live with my daughter, husband and his mother. My daughter (4 years old) is already afraid of me. Any detail can turn me on, everything irritates me, first I scream like crazy (and sometimes I swing my arms), and then I roar. I walk like a raw nerve. There is no opportunity to live separately yet. What to do?

    Hello. My mother often has angry outbursts. She cannot explain anything in just a calm voice, she always screams. Constantly breaks down for no good reason. Unwashed dishes can cause a scandal. She screams, swears, and can even hit you in the face (and not weakly, but with all her might). And she constantly repeats the same phrases, something like “Shut your mouth!” and everything like that. When she is in a normal mood, she behaves adequately and friendly, but as soon as something upsets her, she looks like an animal in a rage. I understand that all people can face problems like disobedient teenage children who constantly argue and dissuade, a mess in the house, but they solve it in the most peaceful way, and my mother just naturally starts screaming at the top of her lungs. How can I explain to her that this is not normal?

    • Hello, Ulya. If you start explaining to your mother that it is not normal to raise your voice and engage in physical assault, you will encounter even greater misunderstanding in your address, since for her personally there is this good reason why she loses her temper.
      Often this model of behavior suits many aggressors; moreover, it is so comfortable for them that they are already dependent on this behavior.
      Scientists have already proven that the breakdown of negative emotions in close circles gives great pleasure to the aggressor, so breakdowns will be repeated with a certain frequency, unless, of course, the aggressor himself begins to control himself and change.
      We recommend that you read:

    Good day, my name is Roman, I’m 31 years old. I have a problem, I’m very aggressive... I used to think that the whole world around me was a continuous gladiatorial arena in which I needed to constantly fight... You can’t trust anyone, you have to be like a lone wolf... Cunning, evil, cruel, purposeful, ignorant of pity, but with a touch of humanity, justice, honesty, devotion... this is how I thought at the age of 20, years later I realized that the world is not a battle arena, but a path to self-realization... The path of self-knowledge , strengthening the soul and body.. In this world, there is also humanity, justice... I realized this late... After living for a certain time with such an attitude, I became aggressive, cruel, and in the end I got confused in myself...
    I have outbursts of anger, aggression, as a result of a small quarrel or argument... The anger becomes stronger and stronger... Every time after this, I tell myself that this will not happen again... But when aggression takes hold of me, I forget about that promise to himself...
    I started playing sports, I thought it would help, relieve emotional stress, remove negative energy, but no... the energy just pours out of me... It feels like I’m hyper active, and these energy bursts provoke aggression... It’s already starting to seem to me that I’m no one understands that my opinion is more important than others... it scares me. I understand that I am not healthy...
    Tell me if I need therapy, communication with a psychologist or yoga classes would be suitable.

      • Hello, thank you.

    Hello, please tell me, I have the same problem. Tomorrow I will be 22 years old, and I feel that I am tired of life, it seems that nothing is working out and will never work out. Lately, I have started to have outbursts of aggression and anger, when I want to break something, break something, vandalize it, or hurt myself. She was always a very modest girl, she was afraid of a lot of things, because of this she was uncommunicative, closed, and sad. I’ve never had a boyfriend, my parents cultivate this idea in me, they say that it’s scary and no one will love it. I don't want to live anymore, what should I do?

    Hello. I suffer a lot from angry outbursts due to postpartum depression and disappointment in men in general. I have no one to ask for help and there is no way to find a man. Please tell me what can I do? This pain and rage eats me away from the inside... I experience hatred for myself, for people and for the world almost constantly, and very often, with external stimuli, it turns into rage with physical pain in the chest and the desire to tear someone (including yourself) into pieces. Valerian does not help, I am breastfeeding, please advise something (((

    Hello. The problem I have is uncontrollable outbursts of anger, but the main thing is that they are unpredictable. One good thing is that they don’t last long. A typical example - I’m sitting, not bothering anyone, and suddenly bam, something near me breaks into pieces... then the thought arises: “why?” Or even complete bewilderment. The excitement goes away almost immediately, and sometimes within a few minutes. But I’ve already done something... please tell me where to start.

    • Hello, Leonid. Start with a practicing psychologist. A specialist will diagnose you and if a borderline state is detected, the psychologist will carry out corrective work with you; if a deviation from the norm is discovered, then you will have to contact a psychotherapist for help.

      • Thank you. I'll try again...

    Probably no one has ever brought this up. There are three brothers and one sister, all over 60, they are related to each other (hereinafter referred to as “relatives”). These people have children, they are cousins ​​among themselves (hereinafter referred to as cousins), after 40 and before 30. Relatives are in a state of “ bad world better than a good war”: sometimes they communicate, sometimes they don’t speak for years, sister and brothers communicate in the format “how are you, but everything is fine, it will be bad, wait (I’ll arrange it)”, but there are individual observations: their behavior is despotic, they control material wealth, position in society, the family status of each other and cousins. They do actions that look like gestures of goodwill, but in reality the harm lasts for years and brings a blow to their authority in society. Cousins ​​also communicate with each other. But at the same time, all cousins ​​are extremely dependent on the opinion of their parents and are in terrible depression because of this, some commit stupid acts on the advice of their parents, others take advantage of situations of guilt and extract money for their petty needs. Only 3 people out of the entire cohort have the intention to create and develop, but the majority of consumers pursuing them destroy all desires to create and do something. Everyone wants one thing: to contemptuously condemn everyone, as the sister of her brothers does for 10 years. He has suffered from psychopathy since childhood and influences his children in this way: in order to be superior to others, it is necessary to undermine the authority of cousins, and to do this, tactfully collect information and, through telephone communication, report “some invented nonsense”, as if warning about their danger and dishonesty. There is a result, but during the investigation everything becomes clear. But this sister does not lose hope. And she made of her children “a cultivator of evil intentions covered with sweet smiles.” Her children are unhappy in principle. He doesn't see this. Blames his cousins ​​for their misfortune. It seems easier this way. Harm others before they become higher than you, although in case of help they will have no one to turn to, only back to the cousins ​​whom they hated so much. Relatives have psychopathy and carefully disguised despotism. Should you interrupt such relationships and protect yourself from them, since after communicating with this it is already clear that they will remain the same? How to protect your children from the bad influence of relatives and cousins?

    • Narek, the topic of relationships with close relatives, if they have character accentuations, an authoritarian and despotic style of communication, is very sensitive. If you don’t communicate with them at all, then they may perceive it as disrespect, ignoring, and if you communicate, then you will need to follow their life guidelines and rules.
      Therefore, the best option for the younger generation in such families is to move to another city for a new job or while studying at a university with subsequent employment.

    30 years of marriage, every month my husband has an attack of aggression, hatred, he repeats his entire life of grievances against all his loved ones, as he imagined them for himself - it’s offensive and without reason. If I don’t respond, I don’t enter into dialogue, they’ll still pester me personally, call me names in every way, humiliate me, insult me, all sorts of offensive nonsense. He starts screaming until he is physically exhausted, then he feels better and sleeps. In the morning he seems to be kinder, but he never apologizes. He remembers grievances against everyone, demands to calm him down, I don’t know how to distract his aggression and humiliation. I have no feelings left, I can’t play. Just waiting for the next attack. How should I behave!

      • Good afternoon
        Tell me what to do, my niece is 11 years old, she terrorizes all her loved ones, her mother, grandmother, throws hysterics for any reason, for example, someone touched her things, they brought the wrong game, at the slightest reason she starts throwing tantrums, throwing everything around, tearing, cutting, etc. this can continue throughout the day or night, and she is not afraid of anything, not physical force, not persuasion, nothing at all, everyone is constantly under stress, that hysterics can start at any moment, she doesn’t listen to anything, she can’t speak, she doesn’t care at all side.
        They didn’t drag me to the doctor with persuasion or deception, I was just in despair, tell me what to do?
        Thank you.

    An attack of aggression occurs after there is a sharp or smooth mild pain in the right or left side of the brain, as if a blood vessel had burst, and then something happens. The attack is short-lived. I took Gidazepam and Truxal for a month and a half, while I was taking it, it seemed like nothing, but I stopped - the attack remained, like a shooting in my head, and sometimes it shoots once a day. Yes! And further! I felt fear in my chest, so the fear disappeared after taking the drugs.