Attacks of aggression in women: causes and treatment. Attacks of excessive aggression in men. Causes of aggression and anger attacks

Aggressive behavior is an uncontrollable manifestation of anger, always frightening and unpredictable. Men and women are equally susceptible to this vice, although it is generally accepted that aggression has a true male face. The fear and horror of this phenomenon is that a person loses control over his emotions and turns into a clot of tension, anger and the desire to destroy - and all this with the effect of ball lightning - you don’t know who it will fly to.

Uncontrollable outbursts of rage should never be treated as excessive emotionality or a manifestation of a violent temperament. Everything that is beyond the bounds of reason and beyond control is a problem that requires an immediate solution. But first of all, it is necessary to understand the reasons for this behavior.

Why am I aggressive: forms and reasons

As children, we all stomped our feet and hit the head of an always-screaming kid in the sandbox with a shovel. Mom scolded, dad said something about how you need to be kinder and you shouldn’t fight, but you only learned that you shouldn’t hit everyone you don’t like. But for some reason, such a seemingly simple rule suddenly became difficult to follow, and sometimes even loved ones become the target of aggressive attacks. The degree and forms can be different, but one thing remains the same - it destroys you and your relationship with the outside world.

Often, trying to hide irritability and suppressing the desire to destroy within ourselves, we only try for those around us - but inside, anger boils with the same force and it is only a matter of time before it breaks out. This is what psychologists call hidden aggression. How does it manifest itself? After all, it is unnecessary to talk about obvious manifestations of aggression.

• Excessive tension – everything, even the most basic ones everyday activities, are performed with anguish, a psycho.
• Verbal forms - shouting, insults, constant slander, even when the situation does not deserve it.
• Cruelty towards those who are weaker and cannot complain - to animals, for example. Having taken out his anger on the dog, the man seems to have thrown out some of his crap into this world, but it’s an illusion - there is more crap both inside and outside.
• Schadenfreude, joy from other people's failures, intrigue and meanness - yes, this is not a fight, but it is a desire to harm others without getting your hands dirty. Perhaps the most disgusting type of hidden aggression, and often with a woman’s face.
• Criticism - everyone and everything, with or without reason. This is how a person gives vent to his aggression, showing it in relative terms. soft form to his interlocutor that he is an incompetent asshole. Often the critic himself does not understand that this is a form of suppressed aggression.
• Banter and sarcasm - humor is wonderful, but offensive jokes and slander, ridiculing others for the most insignificant reasons - is just a way to take out your anger on others.

The causes of aggression and irritable behavior, no matter how they manifest themselves, must always be sought individually in a psychologist’s office. But, if we admit that we are all, to one degree or another, aggressive and cruel, we can highlight typical reasons uncontrollable anger:

• Characteristics - under the influence of what specific factors such an unbridled disposition was formed - is another question, but the fact remains - many individuals are overly irritable and they have had this since childhood.
• Stressful situations - many of us live in stress and consider it the norm. It’s not surprising that your psyche begins to malfunction, and your eye twitches and you want to kick the cat after work.
• Dissatisfaction - financial, sexual or simply life has not gone well. Constant dissatisfaction will come out either piecemeal in a hidden form - you will become a skeptic and a cynic with a manic syndrome, or one day you will burst out in full on both your boss and your wife.
• Lack of sleep is a ticking time bomb. The brain needs rest - this is how nerve cells are restored. Will not good rest- it will be, but what then - you know.
• Alcohol abuse is, of course, a way to relax. But in fact, this is genocide nerve cells, and constant use of the potion is a direct path to mental disorder, in which aggression is only one of the syndromes.

Of course, it is simply impossible to eliminate all these factors from life - and this is not the goal if you do not have the desire to become a saint during your lifetime. Just by knowing what exactly triggers you to get angry, you can manage your emotions.

Attacks of aggression in men

Men more often aggressively openly, leaving behind-the-scenes games and intrigues for women. From time immemorial, it was the custom that men resolved all conflicts in fist fight and, regularly having such a release, the psyche remained normal. Today, to put it mildly, this is not accepted. Constant self-control and lack of release of male power entails internal conflicts and gives rise to sudden attacks aggression.

If we are not talking about serious mental personality disorders, then in most cases a man is able to cope with attacks of rage on his own and not become an antisocial character. Whatever the lifestyle, there are absolute factors that can lead any man beyond the limits of what is permitted towards an associative disorder and uncontrollable aggressive behavior:

• Alcohol and drug addiction - these phenomena themselves are considered to be diseases, one of the consequences of which is uncontrolled aggression;
• Sexual dissatisfaction. Men without women and sexual release often lose their human appearance and return to the foundations of the primitive system, where power and fear are the basis of the hierarchy. If anyone doubts it, just look at what is happening in prisons around the world.
• Social falls. Loss of a job, failure of a business, divorce, loss of loved ones - all these are traumas that you can suffer and move on with, or you can hang in the state of a victim and take out your anger on others.
• Childhood trauma - if a man experiences cruel and aggressive behavior from his parents since childhood, he will adopt this behavior with almost one hundred percent probability.

We come to the conclusion that aggression in men always has reasons. It can be understood and even often justified. WITH female aggression the situation is somewhat different.

Attacks of aggression in women

Women are more likely than men to suppress their outbursts of anger and irritation, but this does not mean that they are kinder or less susceptible to feelings of anger. Perhaps even more. For a woman, stress has completely different roots. A woman is a mood. Today - evil, tomorrow - good. Stars, moon, eclipses, tides, pressure, PMS - it doesn’t matter what exactly, but everything affects a woman’s state of mind. It’s even hard for men to imagine what kind of hormonal apocalypse women experience every month. Attacks of aggression, suppressed or, on the contrary, expressed in violent scandals, are only a symptom.

But if we ignore hormones, then aggression in women can be caused by more real factors:

• Hyperactivity - this term applies not only to children, but also to super women, the image of which is so widely promoted today. Namely, a woman MUST: work, give birth to children, raise them, keep the house clean, cook 3 dishes every day, be a goddess in bed, while not losing her cheerful disposition and, of course, always be beautiful and desirable. Don't you give a damn, dears? In general, in pursuit of the ideal on all counts, women end up developing psychosis, nervous tic and unleash uncontrollable outbursts of rage on their super-developed children and well-fed husband.
• Dissatisfaction with sex life. She may have regular sex, but whether she gets pleasure from this sex is a question. And if you are not sure, get a scandal out of the blue.
• Social media addiction – it has become impossible to ignore women’s obsession with Instagram. Who are these millions of subscribers of Buzova and others like them? Envious women who dream of such a dolce vita, liking all the photos with yachts and fist-sized diamonds. It is this envy that gives rise to total dissatisfaction and, of course, psychosis with attacks of aggression.

As you can see, the cause of aggressive behavior in women is not so easy to identify. Even if she gets enough rest, and her husband supports her, and the sex is good, and the Moon is growing, then, damn it, something can still go wrong.

Fighting human aggression

Knowing the causes of aggression in a person, you can begin the fight for a happy and calm life. Psychology offers all kinds of training, self-hypnosis techniques and individual therapy. Medicine, as always, is ready to immediately prescribe treatment for everyone who is freaking out and screaming.

But before you go for consultations with specialists, check everything available methods against aggression, you tried, namely:

• The first thing you need to do is learn to recognize the moment when anger begins to boil and, being in a calm state, come up with your own personal secret method on how to stop it. For example, remember some pleasant moment that will definitely make you smile. Or give yourself a promise to immediately go outside for a walk as soon as you feel that it’s about to blaze.
• The second is long-term therapy, namely, fixing in your life what seems imperfect. Or if possible, remove the irritant.
• Monitor your sleep time and quality. Maybe, increased irritability caused by constant headaches or weather dependence. helps to cope with these problems.
• Spend more time outdoors - walks and active games will make you happier. These are the little joys that everyone can afford, but for some reason we forget about them.
• Try yoga, meditation or oriental breathing practices. It’s not for nothing that these activities have become so popular all over the world - it really works and helps you find peace of mind and become more tolerant.
• Eliminate from your life those people who are always unhappy, gossip and envy. Get busy with your life and don’t let negativity pour out on yourself.

If you do all this, but your anger and outbursts of rage do not go away, contact a psychotherapist first. The main thing is to understand what exactly is poisoning your life and get rid of it in time. But be prepared that perhaps it is you yourself and there are no external stimuli - in this case you will have to main meeting in your life - .

Attacks of aggression Occur periodically in many people. This is facilitated critical situations, quarrels, stress, nervous tension. However, if outbursts of anger arise without a good reason and are repeated regularly, becoming uncontrollable, then this is a reason to think about the reasons for the occurrence of such behavior. Often, the closest and dearest people, as well as the aggressor himself, suffer from this condition.

Causes of attacks of aggression

The causes of aggressive behavior are a person’s internal problems, which include an increased, constant sense of responsibility, fatigue, irritability, pain, anger, and self-doubt. All of the above accumulated, looking for a way out in the form of outbursts of anger.

The cause of attacks of aggression in a person is also a high pace of life, unbearable stress, insufficient rest, personal and professional failures, and futility of expectations. Other individuals experience bouts of aggression if something does not happen as they expected. Often it is very difficult for such people to control aggressiveness and it even comes to assault. If this problem is not addressed for a long time attention - psychological problems will arise that will affect personal relationships.

Attacks of aggression in women may indicate serious problems(endocrine and vascular diseases, epileptic activity, intake hormonal drugs, birth injuries and cranial). To find out, you should conduct a thorough diagnosis and then begin treatment.

Uncontrollable attacks of aggression

Irritability and anger are natural reaction the body on the environment, however, if uncontrolled attacks of aggression occur, they can become dangerous for society. The aggressor, having splashed out claims, reproaches, and insults on those around him, then strongly repents and regrets, feeling empty and depressed, feeling an unpleasant aftertaste in his soul. Feelings of regret and guilt do not last long, so the next time the situation repeats itself. There are also cases of assault. Emerging attacks of aggression in a person can destroy a family, since the person suffering from uncontrollable attacks of aggression behaves inappropriately.

Uncontrolled attacks of aggression at work can lead to dismissal, and as a result - as well as other psycho somatic diseases.

Uncontrollable attacks of aggression in some people occur due to sudden pain and fatigue.

Attacks of aggression in men

Many experts argue that long-term abstinence contributes to physiological disorders in the body of men, leading to anger and attacks of aggression. Male physiological disorders manifest themselves in erectile dysfunction, as well as premature ejaculation. Before the age of 30, this is all easily restored; after 40, it needs long-term treatment, and after 50, treatment is ineffective.

Attacks of aggression in men occur due to poor upbringing, heredity and personality disorder. Treatment includes early recognition of psychopaths and neutralization of their influence.

How can a woman recognize a psychopath? A psychopath is characterized by a clear expression of emotional reactions, which manifest themselves in incontinence, addiction to alcohol, and a tendency to aggression. The main features of psychopathy are extreme irritability, excitability, explosiveness and anger. You can have a good time with a psychopathic man, but you will have to pay for it. A psychopath will deceive a woman with a smile on his face and terrify her with just one look. And when a woman ceases to interest him, the psychopath will devastate her and deprive her of peace of mind, as well as self-esteem, for a long time. The woman will turn sad and will think for a long time where she made a mistake. After such communication, a woman needs rehabilitation with a psychologist to restore her mental strength. If you have been assaulted, then in this case you should think about your safety: parting with such a man.

Attacks of aggression in women

Uncontrollable attacks of aggression in women often occur for a reason. The mother fails to adapt to new circumstances in the form of the arrival of a new family member - a baby, who turns the relationship in a couple into a “triad”.

Often there are attacks of aggression in women who have shouldered household life, as well as raising children, on their fragile shoulders. If a woman does not keep up with household chores, and the whims of her child cause her attacks of aggression, it is necessary to attract help from loved ones (husband, older children, parents and grandparents). Let them help you: take care of cleaning, ironing shirts, taking care of animals, shopping, playing with children. The most important thing is to restore the previous peace of mind women. Until nervous tension will not let the woman go, uncontrollable attacks of aggression will not end.

Attacks of aggression in women are relieved by transforming tension into something else. Sports, hobbies, or something relaxing and calming (yoga or stretching) help with this. Dancing will bring quite a lot of positive emotions, which will relax and strengthen a woman’s nervous system. It is important to pay attention to your diet, give up cigarettes, coffee, energy drinks and alcoholic drinks.

Attacks of aggression in women occur if a woman is left without male attention, since this negatively affects the nervous system and leads to depression and neuroses, which can turn into hysteria and attacks of aggression. Long-term abstinence in women leads to decreased libido or frigidity. Sexual dissatisfaction leads to a sharp decline labor activity, To uncontrollable seizures aggression. This is especially clearly expressed during abstinence in women. It has been established that those women who do not have regular intimate relationships look older than their peers who have regular sexual relations.

Attacks of aggression in a child

Often, parents of small children are faced with the following problem: the child swings at people close to him, hits them in the face, pinches them, spits, and uses swear words. You cannot take this behavior of a child calmly. If this kind of situation tends to recur, then parents need to analyze at what moments the child’s attacks of aggression appear, put themselves in the child’s place, and figure out what causes such outbursts of anger.

Attacks of aggression in a child almost always occur due to external reasons: family troubles, lack of what you want, deprivation of something, experimentation on adults.

Attacks of aggression in one year old child manifest themselves in the form of bites from an adult or peer. For babies, bites are a way of learning about the world around them. Some one year old children resort to bites when they cannot achieve their goal because they cannot express their desires. The bite is an attempt to assert one’s rights, as well as an expression of one’s experience or failure. Some children bite when threatened. Babies also bite out of the need for self-defense, since they cannot cope with the situation on their own. There are babies who bite to demonstrate their strength. This is what kids do who strive for power over others. Sometimes bites can be caused by neurological reasons. When you understand what causes your child’s negative behavior, it will be easier for you to help him cope with himself, teach him positive practices resolving conflict situations.

How to deal with child aggression? Remember that children learn from the examples of those around them. The baby adopts a lot of his behavior from the family. If rough treatment in the family is the norm, then the baby will learn such forms, and the cruel behavior of adults will serve as prerequisites for neuroses. Remember that the baby's behavior is a complete mirror reflection of what is happening in the family. Very often, aggressive behavior is a reaction to lack of attention to the child, and thus the baby attracts attention to himself. The child learns that bad behavior quickly earns him long-awaited attention. Therefore, adults should communicate with the child as often as possible, supporting his positive communication with other people and peers.

It happens that attacks of aggression in a child are provoked by an atmosphere of indulgence, when the child never knows refusal and achieves everything with screams and hysterics. In this case, adults should be patient, because the more advanced the problem, the more difficult it is to carry out corrections to eliminate attacks of aggression in the child. You shouldn’t expect that the child will grow up and everything will change. Mandatory rule in communication with a child, this is the constancy of adults’ demands in any situation, especially when aggression occurs.

Correcting attacks of aggression in a child includes involving game situations and acting them out with toy characters that are close to real situations. As soon as you teach your child to behave calmly, your baby will immediately find a common language with other children.

Attacks of aggression treatment

A psychologist will help you understand your own life. It is possible that you have chosen too high a pace for yourself, and have also placed unbearable loads on yourself. In this case, stress is also almost inevitable.

How to deal with attacks of aggression? Try not to keep all negative accumulated thoughts, as well as irritation, within yourself, because the more anger you have inside, the stronger the attacks of aggression will be. Slow down your personal pace of life and allow yourself to relax. If you feel that you cannot cope with work pressure, discuss this with your colleagues and superiors. Take a vacation, a long weekend, take a break from work. Taking herbal soothing teas (St. John's wort, thyme, oregano, peppermint, motherwort cordial, chamomile, valerian officinalis, linden cordate, etc.) will help relieve mental stress and prevent sudden attacks of aggression from developing.

How to get rid of attacks of aggression? Effective means- this is the transformation of aggressive tension into something else: playing sports, yoga, meditation.

Unmotivated frequent attacks of aggression and hatred are suppressed by taking atypical antipsychotics: Clozapine, Risperdal. They give positive effect Valproic acid, Lithium salts, Trazodone, Carbamazepine. High efficiency tricyclic antidepressants are provided.

A special place is given to psychotherapy in the treatment of attacks of aggression. There are specially developed techniques, the purpose of which is redirection and suppression.

After completing a course of psychotherapy, you can learn techniques quick removal aggressive tension. For example, at the peak of unmotivated aggressiveness, tear newspapers to shreds, wash floors, wash clothes, hit a sofa cushion.

Get serious about sports. Sports anger will give an adrenaline rush and suppress your aggressive state.

How to deal with an aggressor? Assess the potential danger (objects that can be used for attack). Assess the physical behavior of the aggressor (fists or kicking). Always keep the aggressor in sight, control his behavior, never turn your back on him. Always take all verbal threats seriously and keep a safe distance. Don't hesitate to ask additional help, because this concerns your safety. Be confident, remain calm, try to relieve aggression with a calm conversation, do not argue with the aggressor.

Hello, I'm 24 years old. I have a very sensitive sleep, mostly I am very aggressive when I can’t sleep or when something wakes me up. But it happens that I get angry very easily, and at the same time I almost begin to shake and it is often impossible to control my anger, which leads to consequences. I tried to learn to control myself, but still ended up losing it even more seriously after a while

• Hello, Evgeniy. Often, aggression and anger are beyond a person’s independent control for reasons beyond his control.
  Approximately 10% of adults suffer from a variety of personality disorders related to borderline psychiatry. People suffering from this pathology usually do not understand the full extent of their disease and therefore do not consider it necessary to contact doctors for help.

Hello, I’m still 17, all my life I’ve been a calm, shy child. Over time, I began to work on my character, thereby becoming less shy... but now there are mild irritants (like: I gave a friend a cap, but he does not give it back as a joke) or when they argue with me for a long time. I don’t have time to understand how I’m already lashing out at these people with rude words or threats, sometimes I want to hit a person, but I always stop, after which I feel ashamed. It’s just that if I’m in a state of peace and someone disturbs it, then I break down...
I don't know, maybe it's teenage. But I can’t, I don’t want people to see me as such a person, I don’t want this to progress over time.

Hello! I would like to contact you. I myself have outbursts of anger, especially when they don’t understand me, touch my things, rearrange something, or try to argue with me. I want them to listen to me calmly and that’s all. At such moments, if people themselves do not calm down or even provoke them even more, then you want to break, cut or break something. When I break a couple of glasses, the aggression is removed almost instantly. At these moments you stop being yourself and cannot control yourself. What should I do? No matter how much I try, I can only be calm calm people. Neither meditation, nor yoga, nor sports helps.

• Hello Irina. IN in this case will help drug treatment and cognitive psychotherapy.

Hello!
I have problems with my husband. Periodically, it flares up out of the blue, it is impossible to stop it, it raises its hand. We have two small children, I fear for our future. The rest of the time he wonderful person, caring father and loving husband. He is ready to work with a psychologist or psychiatrist. But my question is: is it possible to get rid of these outbursts of anger forever? Or will there be a lull only while taking the medications? I live with him like on a volcano, you never know when an eruption will begin.

• Hello Svetlana. Your attending physician will answer all questions regarding treatment, but only after an in-person consultation and diagnostics.

Hello! I love my husband, but he has terrible temper tantrums... the last one resulted in me being beaten. By all indications, he has a psychopathy. Is there any point in fighting for our marriage or is everything doomed? Should we both see a psychologist?

Hello!
A loved one has experienced a strong psychological trauma(after the incident he was threatened for some time).
Now he has a fear of large crowds of people, big cities and a mania of persecution. He is afraid that he is being followed and that he will be killed.
In this regard, he has attacks of aggression.
It didn’t come to the point of assault, but in words he ceases to control himself.
He doesn’t want to be treated, but frank conversations they don’t help... Please tell me how to help him. Thank you in advance!

• Hello Lina. Try to create such an atmosphere for your loved one so that he can rethink everything that is happening to him. He needs to analyze his feelings and accept them internally, coming to terms with the negative experience. This is necessary in order to continue to move forward in life and not get stuck on your experiences. Love, understanding, harmony, and emotional contact on your part will be important to him. The fact that he breaks down and becomes aggressive is normal for his condition. It is difficult for him to suppress his emotions and not allow them to come out. Thus, his nervous mental tension finds an outlet. Therefore, we recommend not to irritate him in actions and words, but to try to become a necessary and indispensable person for him.

Good day...I'm shouting about my problem!!! Help! I’m a guy, I’m 21. I’ve caught my youngest nephew, he’s 11, smoking or lying more than once, and every time I take it out on him. ...in anger I almost beat him. Recently I had a fight with my wife, she really hurt my male ego and I flared up, everything went dark in my eyes, I destroyed everything in the apartment, threw her on the bed, on the floor... in general, I went wild... when I saw fear and tears in her eyes, she called me the devil then they let me go and I silently left... help me!!! I apologize for the errors in the text. I am writing in desperation.

Hello. I have a friend. He turns 19 years old. He often has attacks of aggression. He can throw out all his anger either verbally, that is, by yelling at everyone who is nearby, or in addition to this, by kicking or punching the door several times, and he can also throw everything that is nearby. Such outbursts mainly happen in the presence of his mother, since he does not like that she pesters him with all sorts of questions. Personally, I think that, firstly, he was raised that way, and secondly, inheritance from his dad. He seems to understand that this is not normal, but he can’t do anything about it. Please tell me what to do in this case for both me and him!!

I am 36 years old. In my youth I did not notice any outbursts of aggression. Then it started. He was convicted of intentionally causing bodily harm. I got free, came to the village - everyone drinks here! Constant brawls and fights, these people irritate and offend me, I want to answer them and even hit them, but I understand that I will get jail time again. I’m holding on with all my might, I’m afraid I won’t be able to control the aggression! Became nervous. Moved to the city to avoid confrontations with these people. But I'm afraid that the situation may repeat itself here. Tell me what to do??

• Hello, Evgeniy. First of all, do not resist internally what you do not agree with. If people want to drink - let them drink, if they want to fight - let them fight, if they want to degrade and not develop - so be it. This is their life choice, not yours.
  At the moment of approaching aggression, when everything is boiling inside, change the topic of conversation, leave, switch your attention to something neutral and pleasant for you.
  Tell yourself words of self-command: “Stop.” Self-orders always precede the actions performed.
  Accept people for who they are with all their flaws, just watch them and everything that happens. Don't change them and the situation around you. You cannot change the world, but you can change your attitude towards everything that happens and live calmly.
  “I moved to the city to avoid clashes with these people” - In the city, of course, it is easier to avoid unnecessary contacts with people, but they will still remain. Don't expand your circle of friends.
  In your case, communication with animals and being in the fresh air as much as possible will be ideal, which will calm the nervous system.
  Glycine and valerian in tablets will also help keep your psycho-emotional state normal.

Hello. I am 28 years old, I suffer from attacks of aggression, and I understand that I am doing the wrong thing, but I can’t do anything. I live with my daughter, husband and his mother. My daughter (4 years old) is already afraid of me. Any detail can turn me on, everything irritates me, first I scream like crazy (and sometimes I swing my arms), and then I roar. I walk like a raw nerve. There is no opportunity to live separately yet. What to do?

Hello. My mother often has angry outbursts. She can't explain anything simply in a calm voice, she definitely screams. Constantly breaks down for no good reason. Unwashed dishes can cause a scandal. She screams, swears, and can even hit you in the face (and not weakly, but with all her might). And she constantly repeats the same phrases, something like “Shut your mouth!” and everything like that. When she is in a normal mood, she behaves adequately and friendly, but as soon as something upsets her, she looks like an animal in a rage. I understand that all people can face problems like disobedient teenage children who constantly argue and dissuade, a mess in the house, but they solve it in the most peaceful way, and my mother just naturally starts screaming at the top of her lungs. How can I explain to her that this is not normal?

• Hello, Ulya. If you start explaining to your mother that it is not normal to raise your voice and engage in physical assault, you will encounter even greater misunderstanding in your address, since for her personally this exists good reason, which is why she loses her temper.
  Often this model of behavior suits many aggressors; moreover, it is so comfortable for them that they are already dependent on this behavior.
  Scientists have already proven that the breakdown of negative emotions in close circles gives great pleasure to the aggressor, so breakdowns will be repeated with a certain frequency, unless, of course, the aggressor himself begins to control himself and change.
  We recommend that you read:
  

Good day, my name is Roman, I’m 31 years old. I have a problem, I’m very aggressive... I used to think that the whole world around me was a continuous gladiatorial arena in which I needed to constantly fight... You can’t trust anyone, you have to be like a lone wolf... Cunning, evil, cruel, purposeful, ignorant of pity, but with a touch of humanity, justice, honesty, devotion... this is how I thought at the age of 20, years later I realized that the world is not a battle arena, but a path to self-realization... The path of self-knowledge , strengthening the soul and body.. In this world, there is also humanity, justice... I realized this late... After living for a certain time with such an attitude, I became aggressive, cruel, and in the end I got confused in myself...
I have outbursts of anger, aggression, as a result of a small quarrel or argument... The anger becomes stronger and stronger... Every time after this, I tell myself that this will not happen again... But when aggression takes hold of me, I forget about that promise to himself...
I started playing sports, I thought it would help, take off emotional stress, will remove negative energy, but no... energy just pours out of me... It feels like I’m hyper active, and these energy bursts provoke aggression... It’s already starting to seem to me that no one understands me, that my opinion is more important than others... it scares me. I understand that I am not healthy...
Tell me if I need therapy, communication with a psychologist or yoga classes would be suitable.

• • Hello, thank you.

Hello, please tell me, I have the same problem. Tomorrow I will be 22 years old, and I feel that I am tired of life, it seems that nothing is working out and will never work out. IN Lately I began to have outbursts of aggression and anger, when I wanted to break something, break something, vandalize it, hurt myself. She was always a very modest girl, she was afraid of a lot of things, because of this she was uncommunicative, closed, and sad. I’ve never had a boyfriend, my parents cultivate this idea in me, they say that it’s scary and no one will love it. I don't want to live anymore, what should I do?

Hello. I suffer greatly from angry outbursts due to... postpartum depression and disappointment in men in general. I have no one to ask for help and there is no way to find a man. Please tell me what can I do? This pain and rage eats away at me from the inside... I experience hatred for myself, for people and for the world almost constantly, and very often, when external stimuli she goes into a rage physical pain in the chest and the desire to tear someone (including yourself) into pieces. Valerian does not help, I am breastfeeding, please advise something (((

Hello. The problem I have is uncontrollable outbursts of anger, but the main thing is that they are unpredictable. One good thing is that they don’t last long. A typical example - I’m sitting, not bothering anyone, and suddenly bam, something near me breaks into pieces... then the thought arises: “why?” Or even complete bewilderment. The excitement goes away almost immediately, and sometimes within a few minutes. But I’ve already done something... please tell me where to start.

• Hello, Leonid. Start with a practicing psychologist. A specialist will diagnose you and if found borderline state, then the psychologist will carry out correctional work with you; if a deviation from the norm is detected, then you will have to contact a psychotherapist for help.

  • Thank you. I'll try again...

Probably no one has ever brought this up. There are three brothers and one sister, all over 60, they are related to each other (hereinafter referred to as “relatives”). These people have children, they are cousins ​​among themselves (hereinafter referred to as cousins), after 40 and before 30. Relatives are in a state of “ bad world better than a good war”: sometimes they communicate, sometimes they don’t speak for years, sister and brothers communicate in the format “how are you, but everything is fine, it will be bad, wait (I’ll arrange it)”, but there are individual observations: their behavior is despotic, they control material wealth, position in society, the family status of each other and cousins. They do actions that look like gestures of goodwill, but in reality the harm lasts for years and brings a blow to their authority in society. Cousins ​​also communicate with each other. But at the same time, all cousins ​​are extremely dependent on the opinion of their parents and because of this they remain in terrible depression, some do stupid things on the advice of their parents, others take advantage of situations of guilt and extract money for their petty needs. Only 3 people out of the entire cohort have the intention to create and develop, but the majority of consumers pursuing them destroy all desires to create and do something. Everyone wants one thing: to contemptuously condemn everyone, as the sister of her brothers does for 10 years. He has suffered from psychopathy since childhood and influences his children in this way: in order to be superior to others, it is necessary to undermine the authority of cousins, and to do this, tactfully collect information and, through telephone communication, report “some invented nonsense”, as if warning about their danger and dishonesty. There is a result, but during the investigation everything becomes clear. But this sister does not lose hope. And she made of her children “a cultivator of evil intentions covered with sweet smiles.” Her children are unhappy in principle. He doesn't see this. Blames his cousins ​​for their misfortune. It seems easier this way. Harm others before they become higher than you, although in case of help they will have no one to turn to, only back to the cousins ​​whom they hated so much. Relatives have psychopathy and carefully disguised despotism. Should you interrupt such relationships and protect yourself from them, since after communicating with this it is already clear that they will remain the same? How to protect your children from the bad influence of relatives and cousins?

• Narek, the topic of relationships with close relatives, if they have character accentuations, an authoritarian and despotic style of communication, is very sensitive. If you don’t communicate with them at all, then they may perceive it as disrespect, ignoring, and if you communicate, then you will need to follow their life guidelines and rules.
  Therefore, the most the best option the younger generation in such families is to move to another city for new job or while studying at a university with subsequent employment.

30 years of marriage, every month my husband has an attack of aggression, hatred, he repeats his entire life of grievances against all his loved ones, as he imagined them for himself - it’s offensive and without reason. If I don’t respond, I don’t enter into dialogue, they’ll still pester me personally, call me names in every way, humiliate me, insult me, all sorts of offensive nonsense. The screaming begins physical exhaustion, then he feels better and sleeps. In the morning he seems to be kinder, but he never apologizes. He remembers grievances against everyone, demands to calm him down, I don’t know how to distract his aggression and humiliation. I have no feelings left, I can’t play. Just waiting for the next attack. How should I behave!

• • Good afternoon
    Tell me what to do, my niece is 11 years old, she terrorizes all her loved ones, her mother, grandmother, throws hysterics for any reason, for example, someone touched her things, they brought the wrong game, at the slightest reason she starts throwing tantrums, throwing everything around, tearing, cutting, etc. this can continue throughout the day or night, and she is not afraid of anything, not physical force, not persuasion, nothing at all, everyone is constantly under stress, that hysterics can start at any moment, she doesn’t listen to anything, she can’t speak, she doesn’t care at all side.
    They didn’t drag me to the doctor with persuasion or deception, I was just in despair, tell me what to do?
    Thank you.

An attack of aggression occurs after there is a sharp or smooth mild pain in the right or left side of the brain, as if a blood vessel had burst, and then something happens. The attack is short-lived. I took Gidazepam and Truxal for a month and a half, while I was taking it, it seemed like nothing, but I stopped - the attack remained, like a shooting in my head, and sometimes it shoots once a day. Yes! And further! I felt fear in my chest, so the fear disappeared after taking the drugs.

If a man is irritated, angry for no reason, and often lashes out at others, this is already a diagnosis. And I must say, it’s not very comforting. Male aggression is the subject of study in psychology, neurology, and psychiatry, but to date no universal cure for this disease has been invented. There are too many faces, and even in the first stages the attack is almost indistinguishable male aggression from an ordinary, unremarkable irritable state. But it is precisely from this that neurosis can begin, which, if measures are not taken in time, very quickly transforms into an irreversible mental disorder.

First, let's figure out what aggression is? This word itself has ancient roots and translated from Latin means: “attack, attack.” This term refers to the behavior of people and animals. The former usually have manifestations of verbal (verbal) and physical aggression, which can be directed both at their own kind and at inanimate objects, objects, and phenomena. It is noteworthy that in people aggression can also manifest itself towards themselves - in the form of suicide.

Aggression tends to manifest itself in several forms at once, which at the same time are its distinctive features from other types of human behavior. Firstly, usually aggression is not actually provoked by anything real - it’s just that the one who is in its state seeks to dominate others. Secondly, it always includes an encroachment, an attack on the freedom, personal space, and objects of another person’s affection. And its third aspect is always destructive, hostile behavior during an attack.

It is noteworthy that a person who shows causeless aggression will never admit to himself the presence of deviant behavior, but will say that he was simply not in the mood, and everything has already passed.

Who gets attacked by aggression?

The family suffers first. It is the main unit of society that usually takes the most significant part of the blows from male attacks of aggression. Constant scandals, showdowns, numerous humiliations and insults, assault, violent acts are indispensable components of such an attack. Have you ever wondered what the other half of the aggressor feels during these hours and minutes? Who else, if not the woman observing a man’s attack, gets the lion’s share of all these “charms”.

And the fairer sex has no other choice but to try to mentally absorb the attacks inflicted by the aggressor, as far as is naturally possible from the point of view of personal safety, life and health. Some people remain silent in response to all their husband’s baseless remarks, some try to divert his attention and talk about positive topics, some agree with all the insults directed at them, and some simply run away from home on urgent matters that suddenly appear.

Alas, all these psychological shock absorbers have a short shelf life, and in some cases they turn out to be simply useless and will in no way be able to protect the family from male attacks of aggression.

What are the causes of aggressive behavior and are there any?

Yes, there are reasons for groundless male aggression. But they do not lie in the behavior of the victims of the aggressors, as the latter often explain their position. Attacks of aggression in men always have a certain relationship and interdependence. Only in patients with mental disorders they, taking into account the general clinical picture of this or that disease are already more clearly manifested. And for those who suffer from neuroses, they still exist in a kind of rudiment, an outline, which are usually correctly called factors influencing attacks of aggression in men.

The first and most important factor is the presence of representatives of the stronger sex in the body psychoactive substances. Alcoholism, smoking, drinking energy drinks, drug addiction, and substance abuse are not uncommon among the male half of humanity today. So is it any wonder where various neuroses come from in men, when bad habits are the best companions of many?

Insufficiency of dopamine and serotonin metabolism, which are responsible for self-control, self-esteem, and impulsiveness of a person, also contributes to the appearance of aggression in male behavioral reactions.

Environmental factors are a special topic. Few of the representatives of the male half of humanity think that the environmental causes of almost any attack of aggression include unstable, stressful, chaotic home and work situations.

The reason for uncontrolled aggressive behavior in the male, and possibly the female half of humanity, are also various physiological abnormalities vital in activity important organs, somatic diseases. For example, brain tumors or brain injuries, metabolic disorders can quite naturally become Starting point attack of male aggression. Post-traumatic stress disorders, if measures are not taken in time, will also easily lead to such a result.

But knowing about the physiological predisposition of the body to deviant behavior, you can prevent the occurrence of an attack of male aggression and even, if possible, take preventive measures.

What to do with the consequences?

Among the factors influencing attacks of aggression in men, it is always necessary to highlight not only the medical, but also the social component. Namely: antisocial traits characteristic of a person, when violent actions are recognized by a representative of the stronger sex as an acceptable means to achieve certain goals.

Therefore, it is believed that prevention and treatment of the consequences of even a single attack of aggression include both medical and social components. The first is associated with contacting specialists in healthcare institutions, with pharmacological effects, the second - with the competent behavior of those around who witnessed the onset of the attack.

IN men's hands even a simple household item can turn into a serious weapon of aggression. Therefore, immediately pay attention to this and keep the person who is having an attack in your field of vision, under no circumstances turning your back to him.

It can be difficult to recognize a sign of an incipient attack in male threats. Therefore, challenging words should be taken as seriously as possible, because they are a wake-up call that a male attack of aggression can occur at any moment.

It is necessary to immediately establish a safe distance between a man who is having an attack of aggression and those around him, as soon as a scandalous, conflictual, life- and health-threatening situation begins. Best in this moment Don’t start being thoughtlessly heroic. And those who decide to come into contact with a person who is in an excited, spontaneously aggressive state need to maintain maximum confidence and calm.

Looking for a way out of this situation

It is negative emotions that are the basis of aggressive behavior in people, and the reasons for such emotional states- weight. But knowing the features male psychology, to some extent, it is possible to switch the attention of men prone to attacks of aggression to positive life moments.

Taking into account the peculiarities of motivation for male aggressive behavior, you can try to simulate situations in which negativity would be directed not into a fit of rage, but in a positive direction. But without the qualified help of a psychologist, neurologist, or psychiatrist, all these unprofessionally performed psychotherapeutic delights may not always end in calming the aggressor.

If measures are not taken in time, a single attack of aggression can, after some time, become an integral part of the male psyche, and is reversible. neurotic disorder The irreversible - mental - will not be slow to follow.

Question for a psychologist:

Hello, I would like to ask for help. My name is Alexander, I’m 35 years old, not married, I have a 12-year-old daughter, we rarely see each other. About 4 years ago I got a year away from wine and I still don’t drink. We had our own family for a long time, only with the first girl, from whom we had a child. Now I have a relationship, but it’s not serious, I’m trying to tolerate my partner, but I can’t leave for fear of not meeting anyone else, and perhaps out of pity. She cannot have children. I probably would like to, but there is a problem HIV status- positive. Yes, and some kind of self-doubt. Zodiac sign: Scorpio.

And now to the question. Throughout life, it is very difficult to cope with aggression towards harmless people. Sometimes I can’t control myself at all, and I don’t even remember what I say. It seems to me that I sometimes stop on time, but not always. For example, the last two incidents.

1. Quarrel with the boss. I think I’m right, my boss started raising his voice at me and saying that I don’t work enough, I should also do it on weekends, although in fact I’m completely at work, I like it, and for the last six months, like a drug addict, I can’t tear myself away and take a day off. , all weekend at the computer. The work is creative and requires attention to detail. I am not always attentive, but the amount of work I do is large. This is why there are a lot of mistakes... When he said that I still had to work, I exploded, I don’t even remember what I said, and I think even he realized that I could no longer control myself. In the end, we calmed down and drove on... But the salary was never increased, just promises.

2. Conflict with employees. Sometimes I can’t react adequately when I see some kind of dissatisfaction from them because of my mistakes. I explode and sometimes start screaming too much. I myself understand what is carrying me, but I can’t stop. There are problems with nerves, I know. I think it's hereditary. The father is also a fool and often explodes, especially at the mother. He's afraid of me.

I feel like I have a lot of problems, but the one I wanted to address was how to deal with this aggression, nervousness, and indecision. Maybe there are some medications. I know many examples when people are stupider, uglier, and with a lot of bad habits. And in life there is some kind of harmony, a wife and children, self-confidence, joy for life. I got it only recently, when I switched from physical work to mental work. But lately it seems that my nerves are getting worse, sometimes to the point of shaking, and it’s even scary.

I hope that you have read to the end the thoughts that came to you and that you can recommend something that works.

Psychologist Olga Valerievna Platonova answers the question.

Alexander, hello! Awareness of the problem suggests that the solution is already somewhere nearby. Understanding what you want about the problem at hand is the first step in solving it.

You wrote that you know “many examples where people are stupid, uglier, and with a bunch of bad habits. But there is some kind of harmony in life.” Those. You have a good mind, normal appearance and fewer bad habits than some people. Why doesn't this make you happy? Do you want harmony and tranquility, confidence and joy? Is it the absence of these states that makes you irritated and angry?

What for you inner harmony, confidence, joy? How, from your point of view, do these important internal states? After all, a state is a process that arises and is maintained through the implementation of values ​​that are significant to us. What important thing needs to happen or what could you do to feel confident and happy?

Find your source, ways of inspiration through small steps, actions to realize what is important. Having determined, of course, this important thing - what you want. “Rejoicing in little things means noticing and appreciating what makes us happy. Where each person chooses for himself whether to be happy or not.”

Irritation and anger, directed both at yourself and at others, indicates that within yourself you do not agree with something.

If internal resources and agreement with oneself are not enough for happiness, then are attacks of anger surprising?

In controlling your emotions, self-control is important, i.e. a clear understanding that a little more and you will lose control of yourself, at this moment the rational decision would be to leave/exit communication. Leave the room to another place, shift your attention, breathe and return when your emotions begin to calm down. It’s better this way than to remain angry, without control over the events taking place.

If you understand that your irritation is caused by someone’s behavior and that you are about to “explode”, reschedule the conversation for another time, change the topic of conversation. Develop the skill of controlling your condition and anger. To avoid accumulating irritation, find ways to release your emotions, for example, through physical activity.

When you worked physically, did irritation accumulate in less quantity? And now, doing mental work? The concentration of attention is different and the personal qualities involved are different. When it comes to physical labor, then the energy output occurs through movement. When performing mental work, where there is a lot of monotonous work, irritation can certainly accumulate, especially if you are an energetic person by nature. The type of work may be one of the reasons for the appearance of aggression (directly the type of work and how much you like/dislike the work). Here you can try to diversify your activities.

Breathing techniques can help calm your nerves. Breathing is directly related to work and condition nervous system. Deep and measured breathing (this is a leisurely inhalation, 3-4 seconds and exhalation for 4-5 seconds, i.e. exhalation is longer than inhalation), using measured, deep breathing there is a decrease muscle tension and calming the nervous system. Rating 5.00 (1 Vote)

In psychology, the concept of “aggression” means behavior aimed at causing harm to other living beings, people or animals, who do not want this. Often we ourselves become victims of other people’s attacks of aggression, and sometimes we ourselves feel the desire to cause pain - physical or mental. Why does this happen and how to deal with inner demons?

Symptoms of aggressive attacks

In order to notice signs of aggression on the part of a person, you do not need to be a highly qualified specialist:

• nervous and unreasonable reaction to the words and actions of people, including loved ones;
• attacks of anger, during which a person breaks into a scream and uses physical force against people or objects nearby.

However, only a highly qualified specialist can help cope with attacks of aggression, saving the patient and his loved ones from them.

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Causes of attacks of aggression

Psychologists medical center EUROMEDPRESTIGE recognizes that there are many reasons that can provoke attacks of aggression. IN in some cases they lie on the surface, but often in order to find the cause and subsequent solution to the problem, the psychologist has to work hard:

• psychological release. Occurs when a person needs to relieve accumulated tension, after which he experiences relief;
• aggression instilled as normal behavior, in childhood. As a child, a person looks at his parents, unconsciously copying their behavior pattern. If it is customary in a family to shout at each other and show negative emotions, such reactions become habitual;
• self-defense. A person feels the need for self-defense when other people invade his personal space;
• aggression resulting from the inability to realize one’s needs. If a person is unable to get what he wants, anger and attacks of aggression almost always appear on his part. Moreover, these attacks can be directed not only at other people and things, but also at oneself. Needless to say, they psychological condition getting worse every day?
• low levels of cholesterol, dopamine, serotonin in the blood;
• high levels of norepinephrine, adrenaline.

Treatment of attacks of aggression

Doctors at the EUROMEDPRESTIGE clinic point out that a psychologist should be involved in the treatment of attacks of aggression. This is explained by the fact that often the patient cannot correctly identify the causes of his condition on his own, and, accordingly, change his aggressive behavior.

After consultation with a psychologist, the patient receives certain recommendations. As a rule, this is the need to slow down the pace of life, allowing yourself to relax and unwind. In some periods of life, a person needs to delegate some of his responsibilities to work colleagues or even take a vacation and devote time to himself. If for some reason this cannot be done, psychologists suggest sublimating aggressive energy into sports, throwing out negative emotions through sports.

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Sublimation of aggression is also possible through its transformation into other feelings - safer for a person and his environment. This method of treating attacks of aggression is not the simplest, but incredibly effective. For his effective application Each specific case of an outburst of aggression should be carefully considered. After a detailed study, the psychologist suggests best option transformation of aggressive energy.

Sedatives have a positive effect, breathing exercises, water procedures, but they can only serve additional means in the treatment of attacks of aggression, since they eliminate the effect, not the cause.

In any case, psychologists at the EUROMEDPRESTIGE medical center insist that accumulating aggressive energy in oneself day after day is fraught with unpredictable consequences for both the person and his environment. The more unexpressed aggression inside, the more frequent and severe the attacks become. If you feel that you cannot cope with depressing feelings on your own, entrust your mental health to specialists.

Medical center "EUROMEDPRESTIGE": we will give you back the desire to live, you just need to dial our number!