Read stories about cats. Funny story about a cat

There are a great many funny stories about cats and kittens on the Internet today. And if you look at YouTube, you can laugh until you cry all day long from the amateur videos posted. Animal pranks are endless, so the topic of cat humor is always interesting.

There lived a cat in one family. It would seem that there is nothing surprising here. An ordinary Vaska, a gray striped sly guy. But in addition to his natural cunning and cunning, he was also an inveterate thief. A trained eye noticed everything that was lying badly, tenacious claws grabbed the “prey”, and teeth quickly chewed the food trophy. All the cat's hunting trips took place approximately according to this pattern - usually taking place in the kitchen.

One fine day the hostess decided to fry cutlets - she made chopped meat and started frying. Vaska, of course, was spinning under his feet. The woman was distracted from cooking by the doorbell. She rushed into the corridor to let her husband in, and without hesitation returned to the kitchen. I looked into the pan, and one cutlet was already missing. Looking menacingly at the cat and seeing the cute creature innocently looking straight into her eyes, she doubted. Well, the cat couldn’t swallow the hot cutlet so quickly. So where did she go?

And then the tailed actor began to squirm his butt on the floor in a strange way. Meowing loudly, he jumped up and ran into the corridor. It turns out that in order to hide the stolen cutlet, he simply sat on it - there was too little time for more complex maneuvers. But he didn’t calculate his strength - it turned out to be difficult to sit on the hot meat “bomb”.

Home…sweet home

One family bought an apartment (they exchanged a smaller one for a larger one), and the previous owners moved according to the same principle to a neighboring house. While we were filling out the documents and moving, we became friends and started communicating. And now the long-awaited moment - the first night in a new home. The owner wakes up to hear a cat meowing nearby. He opens his eyes and sees a handsome red-haired man sitting next to the bed and peering demandingly at the sleeping family. Like, what a disgrace, I’m hungry, but everyone is sleeping. The still half-asleep woman automatically goes to the kitchen, opens the refrigerator, takes out milk and pours it into a saucer. And then suddenly the question clicks in my head - where did the cat even come from here?

Upon arrival, there were no animals in the apartment, the door was closed. Balcony! It was open at night. This means the cat got inside through him. On family council decided that this was probably the “Vaska” of the previous owners, and out of habit he came to old apartment after a night walk. The assumptions turned out to be true. The old residents arrived and took the pet. The find was celebrated by getting together and drinking beer, and then they parted ways. And everything would be fine if history did not repeat itself the next morning. The cat stubbornly did not want to understand why he should now live in another place if everything suits him in this house. Groundhog Day continued for another six months, until the cat agreed to exchange the old living space for a new one.

Unequal compensation

Aunt Valya, a kind-hearted woman, had a dacha where she lived every year in the summer. The neighbor's cat Valet loved to come and visit her, because she treated him with open sympathy and very pleasantly scratched him behind the ear. They lived in such a friendly idyll for more than one season, and everything suited everyone. By the way, the cat was very clumsy and lazy, and during his cat life he managed not to catch a single mouse. Why bother if you are already well fed.

One fine summer day, Valentina Ivanovna, having received her pension, was delighted to buy a charmingly large salmon and put it on the veranda. Several recipes were spinning in my head, and the woman went into the house to get a cookbook. Returning to the street, she froze in place at the sight she saw - the Pilot was inspiredly finishing the fish, absolutely not ashamed of his action. And this despite the fact that he had never been caught stealing before. The woman could not stand such open rudeness, shouted at the cat and drove him out of the yard.

Half an hour later, Aunt Valya, having calmed down and cheered up, told her neighbor, the owner of the tailed thief, about the incident. Having laughed together at this story, the women heard a rustling sound and turned around. A cat entered the area and walked importantly towards the pensioner. He had a mouse in his teeth! Approaching her feet, he defiantly placed the mouse next to her, and his eyes read, “Here’s your compensation. And it was worth shouting like that because of some kind of fish.” He came to visit more - apparently he was very offended.

Buy food!

There are difficult financial times in every family when you need to tighten your belt and temporarily switch to economical mode. This is exactly what happened in the Ivanov family. And the first thing that the changes affected was nutrition. Of course, I had to cut down on delicacies not only for myself, but also for the cat. So, instead of whiskey, an ordinary soup appeared in the bowl, although it was cooked in chicken broth. The Marquis was clearly not ready for this state of affairs, and was not going to put up with the situation that had arisen.

The cat went on strike. He looked at the “strange” food with contempt, asking with his appearance:

- And this is what I have to eat now? For mercy, gentlemen, what kind of gastronomic slop is this?

To which he was given a laconic answer:

- Alas, there is no money for your canned food now. We'll have to make do with soup and sausage. Get used to regular homemade food.

The Marquis left the kitchen in disgust and defiantly ducked under the sofa. And literally half a minute later, a ten-ruble coin flew out from under the sofa, launched by powerful cat paws. This is character!

And God sent a cat

This funny story was told in one TV show, and then went to the people in the form of an anecdote. There lived a priest in a village. An ordinary priest who left the house one morning and found his beloved cat in a tree. The poor fellow meowed with fear, but flatly refused to descend from the branch on his own. To save his pet from death and save his neighbors from heart-rending screams, the priest came up with a cunning combination.

He decided to tie a rope to a branch and then bend the tree using a car as a tractor. The idea was good, but the rope turned out to be weak and broke at the very moment when the branch almost touched the ground. The catapult came out with a bang, and the cat instantly disappeared over the horizon.

A mother and daughter lived in the same village. The girl really asked to give her a cat, but every time she received the answer:

- Ask God. Maybe he will hear you and do what you want.

By a happy coincidence, while the cat was performing aerobatic maneuvers in the air, the family was just having another conversation about buying a cat. The little daughter, on the advice of her mother, began to pray intensely, when suddenly a desperately meowing “gift” flies into the window. Everyone is shocked, including the cat. And how can you not believe in miracles after this?

Bandit couple

There was a cat in one family. No, he didn’t just live, he reigned supreme. And then, to his misfortune, the owners took pity on the stray dog ​​and took it into the house. The foundling turned out to be young Caucasian Shepherd- thin, unhappy and tattered. They named her Alma. An impudent Siberian cat named Fluff immediately went on the offensive and drove the poor dog under the closet, where she sat for several days and was afraid to move.

As time passed, the cat changed his anger to mercy and decided to accept the dog as a friend, graciously bringing Alma a piece of sausage as a sign of reconciliation. The animals became friends, and they became inseparable. The ringleader in this company was, as you might guess, a cat. He imposingly and boldly walked around the yard, showing with all his appearance who was the boss here. And no one objected to this course of events, because they did not want to get involved with the huge shepherd dog that was following Fluffy on his heels.

One day this sweet couple disappeared somewhere and appeared only in the evening. It was dragging in the dog's teeth big piece beef, and the cat's eyes sparkled triumphantly. As it turned out later, the theft took place several blocks from the house. Some cooperators were selling meat on the street - this was in the hungry 90s. Eyewitnesses told how a cat appeared from around the corner, approached the tray and began to hover around the meat. They chased him away, but then a dog ran “into the arena,” grabbed the largest piece, and ran away, accompanied by that same impudent cat. No one had any desire to take away the trophy, looking at the impressive size of the Caucasian Shepherd Dog. Since then, the gangster couple has become a local celebrity, repeatedly committing predatory raids on market traders.

Toilet inspector

Like people, animals also have “cockroaches” living in their heads - sometimes very unusual and unpredictable ones. The cat Murka also experienced a slight imbalance, and one fine day she simply refused to drink water from the drinking bowl. For some reason, it seemed to her that the water in the toilet was much tastier, and the process itself was much more exciting. The owners were not prepared for such a turn of events and tried in every possible way to wean the cat from this habit. But nothing helped. She successfully “survived” all the flavors and repellents and even learned to open the hinged lid herself.

As soon as someone locked the door to the toilet, Murka began to scream heart-rendingly and scratch herself at the door. She seriously decided that now the toilet had become her private property, and no one had the right to encroach on her drinking water. After they left the restroom, she frantically began to carry out an inspection - she sniffed the seat and jumped up, checking whether there was any water left inside. Well, what if I smelled it? bad smell, then she made crazy eyes, which literally meant: “Have you gone completely crazy here? This is my territory! Why are you thinking about crap here?”

Thoughtful Terrorist

Courtyard cats, due to their heightened survival instinct, are much more likely to show resourcefulness and ingenuity in communicating with people. Just such a thoughtful “comrade” was Philemon, a big fluffy cat who lived in the entrance of one house. Unlike other homeless animals, weak, thin and defenseless, he had thick, well-fed sides and openly enjoyed life. Such a carefree and well-fed “picture” of life was preceded by a whole series of events, which cannot be called an accident. More like a clearly planned theatrical play.

A dark vestibule served as the stage where all the events unfolded. The light fell there only from the stairs, and when someone went inside, they found themselves in semi-darkness. The cat quickly scurried under his feet, exposing his butt to the blow of the door. From the outside it looked very painful, as evidenced by Philemon’s desperate cries. But in fact, he skillfully dodged, and the door itself barely touched his body. Frightened passers-by, seeing the suffering of the poor animal, tried to compensate for their carelessness with some tasty treat. Over time, the residents of the house saw through the cat’s acting, but this fact did not prevent them from continuing to feed the cunning one and taking him into collective custody.

Detective investigation

The story happened to one young girl. It all started when things started disappearing from her apartment. And not simple ones, but golden ones. Either the chain suddenly disappears from a prominent place, then one earring is missing, or the bracelet disappears into the water. Adding to the strangeness was the fact that Katya lived alone, apart from her cat - her husband went on a long business trip and was supposed to return only in a few months. While discussing the situation with work colleagues, many versions were discussed: from simple forgetfulness and inattention to mysterious thieves and aliens.

The disappearances would have continued if one colleague had not suggested placing a car DVR in the house. No sooner said than done. The necessary equipment was lent by the same savvy colleague. Imagine the surprise when the recording finally caught the malicious attacker at the crime scene. It turned out to be a cat, who very professionally opened a jewelry box, pulled out another interesting thing (in her opinion) and disappeared from the viewing area with the prey. Subsequently, all the missing jewelry was found under the cat's bedding, and the whole team laughed for a long time at the antics of the tailed thief.

cat with interesting nickname The scooter became known as the most old cat in the world. At the beginning of spring of this year he turned 30 years old. He and his owner live in Texas, USA. She says he still manages to remain highly active and enjoys new places and new people.

The owner is sure that the secret of a cat’s longevity is in the right... balanced diet, he only eats chicken. It is also known that he visited almost all states of the country. It is worth noting that the oldest of famous cats– Cream Poof, lived a little over 38 years. This is despite the fact that cats usually live from 16 to 18 years. The old-timer's owner is sure that the secret to Scooter's longevity lies in his activity and proper nutrition. The cat loves chicken, which ends up in his bowl every other day, and is crazy about water procedures. Veterinarians say that Scooter is healthy cat With strong character and a great will to live.

In the Tokyo subway, a cat was spotted traveling unaccompanied in the carriages. No, he's not homeless. He has a collar and looks quite well-groomed, but prefers to ride without his owners. He has been doing this for several years now, he was noticed 3 years ago and during this time he managed to become famous not only among the residents of Tokyo, but also among many others. Eyewitnesses say that the unusual passenger is a model of politeness. He does not cling to people, sits only in empty seats, and if they are not observed, he rides standing. Neither people nor noise frightens him at all; if possible, he happily sleeps in the carriage. According to Tokyo residents, the cat does not change its habits.

Usually, if a pet is lost, it is either quickly found or never found. However, sometimes the scheme fails. This is precisely the case with the fate of Chloe’s cat. Six years ago, British woman Rebecca Lee's cat disappeared. She was taking her to the vet, but on the way the animal jumped out of the carrier and ran away. Of course, Rebecca tried to look for Chloe, but the search was unsuccessful, and the owner decided that her favorite had been hit by a car. And now, after 6 years, the cat returns! Safe and sound!

As it turned out, she lived with elderly woman, who picked her up on the street. Later, when the new owner was unable to take care of Chloe, the cat was taken to a shelter. It was there that the cat's chip was scanned and she was able to be returned to Rebecca. It turned out that Chloe's owner had put up posters and announcements, but she was told that a cat matching her description had been found dead. She was very worried, but over time she came to terms, and then this a pleasant surprise. According to TheGuardian, Rebecca is incredibly happy to have found her pet safe and sound after so many years. Shelter employees claim that the cat immediately recognized its owner and was very happy with her.

Barsik the Cat lived and lived his life in Rostov-on-Don, felt contented and successful, and had no intention of traveling around the country. But it so happened in his cat’s life that the owners went to visit the city of Krasnodon, and took Barsik with them. Barsik was dissatisfied with the trip, and even local dogs attacked the poor cat.

Barsik ran away in an unknown direction. The owners looked for the cat and decided that it was not fate. And only 5 weeks later he appeared at his home, having traveled 200 kilometers. Hungry and with a sore paw. To do this, he had to illegally cross the Russian-Ukrainian border.

In the village of Elekmonar in the Altai Republic, the cat Slice came to sleep at the grave of his owner, in the rural cemetery, for a whole year. The owner of Slice died before reaching the age of 80. The cat could not come to terms with the loss of his beloved mistress. Slice continued to live in the same house, but every night he went somewhere. The owner's relatives saw that the cat was spending the night in the cemetery, and they placed a booth for him next to the grave so that he could take refuge in it from the cold. Slice stopped going to the grave only after he became old and lost his sight. This is such devotion.

And this story is one of many stories about loyalty and friendship. Among the cats there are also “

I once read a funny story in three acts and even sent it to friends to read. Today I accidentally came across the correspondence and decided to publish this story on the site. I think that many owners of cats, cats and kittens have been, if not in this situation, then in a very similar one. And almost everyone can tell funny stories about cats, show funny and funny photos of kittens, because these are our favorite pets. But let's get back to the story. This work is not mine, but it’s pretty cool, I hope you enjoy reading it too funny jokes about cats...

Act one
... I come to you for advice.

There is a cat. The cat has ten kilograms.
There is a bed. The bed has a high soft backrest 10-15 centimeters wide.
And there are cat owners who sleep on this bed.

At night the cat jumps on the headboard and walks on it. The cat has a night promenade. But since the cat is past life was a cow and transferred some features to his current incarnation; on the fourth or fifth walk he loses his balance and falls down.
If I'm lucky, the cat falls nearby. If I'm unlucky, ten kilograms of a cat will land on my head, and for some reason always with its butt.

Question: how to wean a cat from this habit?

Have tried:
- sticky tapes placed on the headboard of the bed. (As a result, they spent half the night tearing them away from the crazy cat, almost leaving him without a scalp).
- the aroma of ylang-ylang that is unloved by cats. (The cat didn’t care that he didn’t like the scent).
- tangerine peel large quantities(The cat disdainfully knocked the skins onto my head, and in the process fell over them himself).

What else can you do? I was already sleeping with the sprinkler under my pillow. The cat runs away, then returns.

Photo of a cat to understand the scale of the problem
attached.

Act two
Received a lot of feedback. The two went into action right away.
As promised, I report.

I love simple and easy to implement ideas. Therefore, proposals to nail a shelf to the bed, to the cat, to your head, so that it would be convenient for him to fall on it, were postponed until later.

To begin with, I took six balloons from the child, inflated them and pressed them between the wall and the bed. It turned out very beautiful. My husband and I admired them and went to bed.

In the middle of the night a shot rang out. Woke up, I decided that my husband had shot the cat (even though the only weapon in our house was a water pistol). When the lights were turned on, the cat was sitting on the floor surrounded by scraps of a blue ball and squinting with displeasure. They gave him a kick, moved the balls and went back to sleep. This was our strategic mistake, proving how little we know about cats.

He blew up the second and third balloons about twenty minutes later and galloped off, laughing mockingly. My husband persistently asked me to put everything away and finish the experiments for today. While I was hiding the balls in the closet, the cat crept up to the largest one and hit it with its paw.

The net result: minus four balls, minus two hours of sleep, minus eight meters nerve fibers for two adults. Plus entertainment for the cat.

Then the backup option came into play. The entire headboard of the bed was lined with several layers of foil to make the rustling noise louder. I assured my husband that now he can sleep peacefully: the cat definitely won’t touch the foil - he’ll be afraid.

In general, this is almost exactly what happened. The cat came a couple of hours later when we fell asleep. Jumped from the cabinet onto the foil. The foil rustled, the cat got terribly scared, flew into the air and fell on his husband.

The net result: minus ten meters of foil, minus forty drops of motherwort for two adults. Plus entertainment for the cat.

This is how he looked at us in the morning while we tried to prepare breakfast with shaking hands.

Act three
After the foil and balloons didn't work, I started thinking in a different direction: how to keep the cat out of the bedroom at night. The first thing I used was a cat repeller. Unfortunately, the cat did not understand that it was a repeller. But the husband understood, he winced, sniffed and finally asked to ventilate the room. So now I have a husband repeller, I can give it to anyone who needs it.

The basin with water turned out to be about the same stupidity. We installed it with the expectation that the cat would splash around and forget about the bed (he loves water).
The calculation was half correct: the cat splashed, but did not forget about the bed. At night he galloped up to us, shaking his wet paws. When I woke up, it seemed to me that he had twenty-two of them. He stepped on my face with ten, and ran the rest over the blanket and sheet. Finally, he loudly kissed his husband on the nose, touching him with his wet muzzle, from which water was dripping.

After that, the husband said that to hell with the interior, he agreed to the shelf.

In the evening he brought a varnished board with a side, fiddled with it for two hours, cursed the innocent bed, and finally got the hang of it. I wanted to say that it would be better if a cat fell on us than this bullshit (no one would get out from under it alive). But she looked at her husband’s face and decided to remain silent. Okay, I think we’ll sleep for one night - and then I’ll take it off for good measure.

In addition, before bed, a child came running and threw his toys on her. I waved my hand and didn’t swear, because I was wondering which relative would raise the child if we were buried under a shelf.

(I must say that I was worried in vain: as it turned out, my husband nailed her down in good faith).

At night a cat came to the shelf. He walked imposingly to the middle of the shelf and touched one of the toys with his paw.
It turned out to be an interactive hamster “Zhu-Zhu Pets”.

At the touch of the cat's paw, the hamster turned on. He exclaimed invitingly: "Abusyuyuyu-zu!" and ran towards the cat, glowing with love.

I would be happy to tell you what happened next. But I won’t lie: we didn’t see it. And in general the cat was not seen again until the morning. The hamster ran to the edge of the shelf and committed suicide, like a lemming, by jumping from a cliff into a basin of water.

Result: we removed the shelf.
There is now a guard hamster sitting on the headboard.
The cat doesn't come into the room. And if he happens to see a hamster through a slightly open door, he swells to the size of a Pallas's cat and retreats in horror.

Here he is, our hero and savior:

FUNNY STORIES ABOUT CATS
There are a lot of funny stories about cats, ranging from funny to tragic, such as the war between cats and rats during the siege of Leningrad.
And every time you read these stories about cats, you admire the “mind” of these gentle and affectionate ones (when they want), their ability to manipulate a person, and at the same time remain completely uncontrollable and wandering on their own.
And, probably, there are few cats indifferent to the fun: they will either climb into boxes of unimaginably small sizes, making themselves at home there, or they will jump to a height that an adult cannot reach without the help of devices. This, for example, happened to my Sashka, who thus escaped from the thieves who broke into my apartment.
I’ll tell you another story that happened to my other cat, Chernyshka. One day, already in the fall, we decided to “walk” her. They took her out into the yard, but she wriggled out of the leash so deftly and quickly that we didn’t have time to react. And then she rushed to the first pine tree that grows under our windows. She climbed up, but couldn’t get down.
No matter what they called her, no matter how they tried to pull her from the tree, nothing worked. She only climbed higher and higher. Night has fallen, already cold. He sits and cannot come down. We don't sleep, we look out the window to see if she's come down. In the morning there was nothing but talk about what to do, how to save the cat. We went outside and called. She just looks down and doesn’t move.

The second night passes, we again do not sleep, and she sits. Finally, on the third day, they asked a neighbor’s boy to climb a pine tree and remove it from the tree. When he began to approach her, she began to hiss and fight back with her paw. You need to know how Siamese cats can hiss, scratch and threaten. But he somehow contrived to grab her by the collar and throw her down.

At the same time, she managed to scratch him pretty badly. While Blackie was flying from the tree, everything that had accumulated over three days poured out of her. Having fallen, she ran half-bent under the car, from where I pulled her out. She did not let her daughter come near her. They brought her home, her paws were swollen, either from hitting the ground, or frozen, she immediately began to eat. Soon everything passed, but we didn’t take her outside anymore.


Charles Vysotsky's cats

But others funny stories about cats and about cats, told by different people.

Real case. A young colleague comes to work in the morning healthy man. But we notice that his movements are somehow constrained, slow and clearly cause pain. Naturally we wonder what happened. Silently lifts his shirt over his stomach and we are horrified to see striped with long and deep scratches stomach.

The victim adds that it is the same on other parts of the body. They timidly tried to joke about what a passionate girlfriend he had got. The joke didn't go over well. The reality turned out to be harsher and more prosaic, although very comical. A young married couple, so far without children, who are currently being replaced by a healthy, well-fed cat.

Naturally, the cat feels like the master of the apartment and believes that his bed is located on the larger and better part of our colleague’s matrimonial bed. The owners do not share his opinion, and the cat is chased out of the bed when he tries to climb up there and lie down (preferably under the blanket so that he is not seen or disturbed).

In the morning, the lady of the house wakes up first (without an alarm clock!), prepares breakfast, and then gets her husband up. But it so happened that she was forced to leave for a couple of days. The husband takes a beer after work, comes home and nobly spends the evening drinking beer in front of the TV.

When going to bed, in order to wake up and not oversleep, he sets the alarm clock and puts it next to the pillow (so that when it rings, he doesn’t rush around with it). eyes closed looking for a bedside table, and quickly strangle him on the spot). The beer wore off, and my sleep was sound.

As it turned out, the cat quickly saw and appreciated a large piece of free space next to the owner, and 5 minutes after going to bed the owner was nearby, and under the blanket. At 6:00 the alarm clock blared next to my ear. For a person not accustomed to such things, this caused shock and an instinctive jump.

Cats of Valery Khlebnikov

But more fast reaction ended up with the cat. He, not expecting such sounds, sleepily jumped up sharply, but found darkness all around, the roaring sounds of an alarm clock, and someone large moving nearby. Out of fright, the cat began to rush around like crazy under the blanket, trying to escape into the light of day.

He succeeded only 10 seconds later, amid the roars and curses of his dear owner, who was scratched up and down and scared half to death by this same cat that had come from nowhere. Having given himself first aid, at the same time remembering the cat himself and his relatives in all nine of them cat lives, in expressions no lower than seven-story, got ready and somehow came to work.

Of his comments on what happened, two were especially memorable: “My wife will never believe that it was all from the cat.” and “It’s a good thing I slept in my underpants!”

Cats of Valery Khlebnikov

Relatives in the city got a cat, and she let them give birth to kittens every six months. They don’t have time to push through their friends. Having been tormented, we decided to give the cat to the village, to us, that is. We took the animal. And she is not accustomed to anything except getting mixed up with cats. For example, he is afraid of mice. But I didn’t consider them at all as food.

And what did my husband come up with? Having cursed the parasite, he began to catch mice for her himself. She looked at them carefully, touched them with her paw, and was surprised. But Whiskas asked to eat. Then the next mouse was richly buttered.

The mouse went well under the oil!! The next one was also eaten with butter. The incredible began: the cat demanded mice with butter! my husband was tired of catching them, and I was indignant at the strange upbringing of the cat. When the house ran out of oil, the cat caught her first mouse!

Cats of Valery Khlebnikov

“Everything with us is like theirs...” From the program “In the Animal World” - N. N. Drozdov

Semyon Nikolaevich bought a large and beautiful sleeping basket in Finland for his beloved dog. Barbos, nicknamed Sardel Terrier, or simply Sardel, coexisted peacefully in a house with three felines. The dog happily settled into the basket, extremely happy.

A few minutes later, the leader of the pride of felines, Theophilus, materialized near the watchdog. As a being of the highest order (after all, a super-elite cat, the standard of his breed - there are more medals by weight than the cat himself weighs) Phil did not condescend to conflict with the watchdog, although the desire to fall on a new bed was simply written on his face. He just walked around the lying Sardel and left with a mysterious look.

The silence was short-lived - from around the corner, the unfortunate dog was attacked by his eagle owl friends: Kazya (Siamese cat) and Cosette (Russian trash tabby). The leader morally supported his friends from a safe place high place belligerent meow.

Cats of Valery Khlebnikov

Sardel was expelled in disgrace, and the ladies returned victorious! BUT! O male cunning! While the ladies were fighting, Phil naturally occupied the basket and greeted his friends with hisses and outstretched claws. Spit on best feelings the cats lay in ambush.

And the opportunity soon presented itself! Phil couldn’t guard the place forever, and when “I can’t” came to the cat’s ears, Phil rushed off to the toilet. And it took only 10 seconds for the insidious friends to piss a full bed in two streams.

Phil arrived 15 seconds later, but it was too late! The box was cynically desecrated! And it doesn’t matter that for a week the vengeful male was tracking down his girlfriends, moving around the apartment in short dashes from cover to cover...

Revenge on the insidious traitor has taken place.

Valery Khlebnikov. La-mur

Our young two-year-old cat Tosya was taken to the village for the first time this summer. The delight of the animal, born and raised in a St. Petersburg apartment, knew no bounds. What is characteristic is hunting instincts woke up instantly. I observed this awakening, accepting sunbath and a bottle of beer.

In the mother-in-law's house in the summer lives the visiting cat Murzik, who is fed and not hurt. True, he did not catch mice (this is not a male’s business), but still there is a cat spirit in the house. And then a graceful coal-black city beauty with a small white brooch on her chest appeared to the gaze of the village murzil.

The male decided not to lose face..., that is, face, and to demonstrate his immense toughness to the city FIFA. To demonstrate its coolness, a tit was chosen, brazenly perched on a lilac bush. The cat, like a real bodybuilder, walked back and forth in front of the beautiful kitty, fluffing his tail, then began to sneak up on the cheerfully chirping tit.

Throw! The tit flew a little higher and the cat fell to the ground. The second unsuccessful throw ended in landing in a puddle. The tit brazenly flew up to a higher branch and began mockingly booing the loser. The city girl sat quietly on a dry hummock, her tail curled around her, and carefully watched this circus, rounding her yellow eyes in surprise.

Valery Khlebnikov. Proud

She had never seen anything like this in her life! After the country dude's beautiful landing in a puddle, the aesthetic nature of a sophisticated creature (after all, a cross between an elite Persian cat and a classic Siamese male!) couldn’t stand it.

Now the cat watched in complete amazement as Tosya, from her spot, flew up onto a tall fence in one jump, and from there, in one movement, fell on top of the tit. Clap! Tosya lands on the hummock where she had just been sitting, and the unfortunate bird agonizes in its black paws.

The winner looks contemptuously at the dude and, having thrown the bird to this lout, proudly walks away with her tail fluffed out like a pipe. It was a pity to look at the Russian Murzila. He had never been humiliated so much in his life! And who! Some kind of youngster, FIFA city!

But, apparently, subordination in the cat world is a sacred thing (not like ours - homo sapiens). And until the end of the summer, Murzik treated his new girlfriend with exceptional respect and patiently waited for Tosya to taste the grub from his bowl.

P.S. By the end of the summer, the city's fifa Tosya taught Murzik how to hunt mice, and they went on evening hunts together, bringing 6-8 mice and rats at a time. Moreover, the spoils were laid out every morning in a row on the porch for a report on the work done and approval by the owners. This is what a firm woman's paw does to a simple village cat.

Experts from the University of Lyon in France decided to calculate how many domestic cats live around the world. It turned out that there are about 400 million of them on our planet. Most of these animals are in the USA. However, the palm goes to Australia. There are 9 cats for every 10 residents. On the Asian continent, the first place is occupied by Indonesia, where more than 30 million cats live, and in Europe - France, where about 8 million furry “purrs” live.

Although domestic cat- a very common animal, there are countries where it is practically not found, for example, Peru and Gabon.

For residents of these countries ordinary cat- a strange beast.

The population of the small island of Frajos in the Indian Ocean is made up entirely of cats. As Indian scientists found out, in 1890 a ship crashed on the coral reefs off the coast of the island. The surviving sailors were able to reach the island, but they never received rescue. But the cats that were on the ship not only survived, but also multiplied. There are more than a thousand of them on the island today. Cats eat fish and crustaceans.

Despite the fact that cats are heat-loving animals, they also live well in the cold. For example, in Antarctica, smuggled kittens often live with winterers. And at the stations" North Pole"No. 28 and 29 in 1988-1989" served "a cat named Timofey.

Thunderstorm of mice

In 1988, a cat named Wilberforce, the most famous cat throughout the UK. His career began in 1973. He was picked up homeless on the street and brought to the Prime Minister's residence, where mice suddenly appeared. Soon the mouse problem was solved. The cat served four successive prime ministers well. It is said that he even sometimes attended cabinet meetings.

Cats are on staff at some London post offices. They are tasked with protecting postal items from rodents. Every day they receive a tasty “salary”, which has recently been increased to take into account inflation. These animals were included in the staff of the English postal department about 130 years ago.

It turns out that one cat hunting mice saves up to 10 tons of grain from them per year. In England, cats that were used to guard food warehouses were on government pay, just like the cats that kept books and other relics of the British Museum from mice. In Austria, a cat that has served for several years guarding warehouses is entitled to a lifelong pension, given in meat, milk and broth.

European shorthair cats are considered the best protectors of grain from rats and mice. British and American shorthair cats are the same as European shorthair cats, only they are called differently: “shorthair”, “British”, “American”.

One day, amazing squadrons of mini-planes appeared in the skies over Malaysia and dropped many tiny parachutes. A rescue landing party of cats descended to the ground, who had to fight the hordes of mice and rats that had simply bred there in wild numbers and became a threat to all living things. Traditional traps and poisons no longer gave the desired effect. That is why the cat landing party went to help people.

Before the revolution in St. Petersburg in Winter Palace There were about 600 cats who were supposed to exterminate rats and mice. Thanks to cats, many works of art have been preserved. This tradition has continued to this day. True, today there are much fewer four-legged guards living there.

It happens that cats become protectors of mice. Such a protector turned out to be a cat named Kuzya, who lived in Yekaterinburg. Having discovered mice in the pantry, Kuzi’s owner called him for help. The cat deftly dealt with one rodent, but felt sorry for the other four mice who hid under his long wool. Kuzya did not protest this at all. But his owner didn’t like this surprise.

Wanderers

Many cats can be called real travelers. To get home, they are ready to travel several hundred kilometers. One veterinarian from New York moved to California, but he did not take his cat with him. Imagine the owner’s surprise when five months later that same cat appeared at the door of his house. He walked into the house and jumped onto his favorite chair. By the way, the distance between New York and California is 3500 km.

The Australian airline Quintas was given a lot of trouble by a cat named Beagles, whom the owners sent by plane from Brisbane to Auckland, New Zealand. The cat never arrived at its destination, but a week later it was found in the cabin of a plane flying to Sydney. It turned out that during all this time he flew almost half the world: from Australia to New Zealand, from Fiji to Singapore, from Melbourne to Sydney.

An amazing story happened to a cat named Chapa. Together with his owners, the cat set off from Sverdlovsk region to the Black Sea. On the way, he accidentally, or perhaps on purpose, fell behind his owners. When they returned home after resting, Chapa was already in full swing catching mice, having rested after his 1.5 thousand km walking journey.

One Japanese cat returned to its former owners a year later. He was given to a peasant family as a small kitten. He lived there for several years.

Moving to another place of residence, the peasant’s daughter took him with her. On the day of the move, the cat suddenly disappeared. It turned out that he went in search of his former owners. After covering a hundred-kilometer route and losing about 1 kg of weight, he found them.

Favorites

Many people have a strong love for cats. famous people. For example, the famous writer Ernest Hemingway kept not two, not three, but 150 cats in his house.

World chess champion Alexander Alekhine had a living talisman - he had a favorite cat named Chess, which, according to the chess player, brought good luck. During the match between Alekhine and Lasker at the 1934 tournament in Zurich, Chess sat in the hall on the lap of his wife. Alekhine often went down from the stage into the auditorium to pet his cat.

The English King Charles I had a favorite cat, without which, as the monarch believed, he would not be happy. He loved her so much that he assigned a separate guard to her. However, somehow the guards did not look after his favorite, and the cat died. And a few days later the king’s head was cut off.

One of the heroes of the well-known novel “The Three Musketeers” by Alexandre Dumas, Cardinal Richelieu - a dark and insidious personality - had 12 cats in the palace that lived in his rooms. The cardinal showed much more affection for his purring pets good feelings than to the people around him.

In the USA it was carried out special study, which revealed that 49% American doctors advise their patients to have a pet. The cat comes first. Experts say that cats can be real helpers in the treatment of many diseases caused by stress and overwork.

Employees of the University at Buffalo in the state of New York conducted research that showed that if the cat is healthy, then the owners are happy. In families where cats live, it is easier to tolerate crisis situations and communicate more.

Actors and rich people

In Germany there is a unique cat museum, which has more than 3 thousand exhibits collected by Angelina Ramsperger from all over the world.

The museum's guardians are 10 brave cats.

Every year the famous cat festival takes place in the Belgian city of Ypres. Guests of this event can become spectators of grandiose performances with giant puppets of puss in boots and black cats, as well as take part in the festive carnival themselves.

In the American city of Little Rock, a cat race over a distance of 150 m is held annually. The winning cats receive a cash prize of $2 thousand.

The famous cat theater under the direction of Yuri Kuklachev is, perhaps, the only one of its kind. The four-legged performers of this amazing theater brilliantly perform the most difficult tricks.

In Switzerland, some cats have their own bank account. One wealthy owner deposited part of her fortune into the account of her pets. But recently the cats had to exchange their capital. The fact is that the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds fined cats two pounds sterling “for the systematic killing of birds.” The check was signed by the cat care clerk because the bank refused to accept the form containing the paw prints of its “depositors.”

Cat for luck

In the Japanese city of Kagoshima there is a Cat Temple, built not in honor of any sacred cat, but in memory of seven cats, which in 1600 a certain military leader took with him to war. There these cats served the warriors for hours. The Japanese used to tell the time by the dilating or contracting of a cat's pupils. This temple is especially popular among watchmakers.

The presence of knots on the Siamese cat's tail is explained by the legend of a Thai princess and her cat. When going to swim, the princess always took a cat with her, on whose tail she strung her jewelry so as not to lose them in the river. But somehow, through negligence, the cat lost the girl’s rings, and from then on the princess began tying a small knot on her tail, which distinguished all the “royal” Siamese.

Both for the squint and for the characteristic color Siamese cats the same gene can respond at the same time. The color of the dark tan marks of Siamese depends on the temperature of their habitat. Cats living in colder areas have darker spots than those living in warmer areas. All Siamese kittens are born white. This is explained by the fact that the warmth of the mother’s womb is quite enough to prevent the fur on their tan marks from darkening.

Everyone is well aware of the old Russian tradition when the cat is given the right to be the first to cross the threshold of a new home. There is a similar tradition in Japan.

Japanese maneki-neko cat figurines are one of the most popular talismans of good luck and prosperity. By existing beliefs, maneki-neko bring wealth and happiness, and promise good luck in business. It is believed that if the left leg of a maneki-neko is raised, then it helps to attract both clients and buyers, and if the right leg is raised, then it attracts money and good luck. The higher the paw is raised and the greater the amplitude of the swing, the stronger the talisman.

Cat character

The cat's passion for washing is explained not only by its cleanliness. During the process of washing, the cat licks from the fur a certain amount of a substance that contains vitamin B, which is necessary for regulating mental balance. If you deprive a cat of this opportunity, it will become too nervous and may even die.

Cats sleep approximately 18 hours a day. You should choose a place for your cat to rest taking into account its taste. Many animals love to sleep on paper because the material is soft and warm.

The cat hates confined spaces. She likes it when all the doors in the house are open. In addition, the cat loves Fresh air, so the windows in the house should also always be kept open.

A veterinarian from the Polish city of Elblag, Witold Klodzek, over twenty years of work with animals, has collected a rich collection of cat sneezes recorded on film. His collection is especially actively replenished in the autumn-spring period, when the next “murki” and “leopards” are brought to the veterinarian for treatment. His collection includes more than 100 recordings of sneezes of varying volume, tonality and duration.

Cats are intelligent and very wayward animals. However, a cat should not be considered too picky just because before starting a meal, it sniffs for a long time at the dish offered to it. In this case, the nose can act as a thermometer.

Many cats can smell very well better than dogs. Therefore, during the First World War, a special “cat corps” was created in the British army.

Its creators believed that with the help of four-legged controllers it was possible to a short time detect the appearance of toxic gases. By the way, cats were also kept on submarines in order to detect leaks in time.