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if you love young man, then your choice is obvious. But what to do in a situation when you like two guys at once? Then it really becomes difficult to make a choice in someone's favor. To make things easier, we offer you 7 tips on how to choose between two guys.

1. Make your choice based on compatibility.

No two people are the same. Therefore, you need to proceed from the comfort level of spending time together. Consider all the situations that you lived together, based on the compatibility of your characters and habits. Evaluate the young man’s honesty and your trust in him, because these two qualities are very important for relationships. Compatibility is one of the main factors in choosing a life partner.

2. Based on the values ​​of young people

Judge boys based on their personal values. Respect for you is very important. After all, you cannot build real relationships without respect. Pay attention to which of them handles money better: knows how to earn it, spend it wisely, and not be a miser, but also not waste it everywhere. really plays an important role in the future.

3. Compare common interests

It is important to compare common interests. They say opposites attract, but having common interests will bring you together. So use all your wisdom and do right choice.

4. Make a list of your qualities

If the choice is not easy for you, then it is best to make a list of your qualities, both positive and negative. And then see which of the guys can get along with you.

5. Choose the boy who makes your heart beat

Most The best way make the final choice - take this test. If you really love a young man, then naturally your heart rate will increase in his presence. The body cannot be fooled; the pulse will increase only in the presence of one of them.

6. Listen to your intuition

If matters concern love, then you need to listen to your heart, only it will tell you what you really want and which boy suits you best.

7. Think about the future

Of course, getting into such a mess when you have feelings for two young people at once is very unpleasant. For me personally, there is nothing worse than uncertainty in a relationship. Have you experienced this in your life?

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A huge number of women do not suffer from loneliness, but, on the contrary, do not know who to choose from among their many admirers. If, through reflection, it was possible to identify two leaders, then all that remains is to conduct a “duel” to determine the winner.

How to choose between two men?

Many ladies are quite normal about the fact that several men are courting them at once. In most cases, the argument is this: one partner is not able to provide everything necessary for a happy life, and this applies to both the moral and material side.

Even if such a situation is beneficial at a certain stage of life, then in a few years, when you want to start a family, you will have to make a choice. To make it more clear, let's consider two popular scenarios for the appearance of two contenders for the heart on the horizon.

Return of a former lover

A fairly common situation is when a woman starts a new relationship after a breakup and then suddenly there’s a knock on the door again ex-lover. In this case there arises great amount questions and doubts about who to choose: a man with whom many events and feelings are connected, or a new lover with whom the story is just beginning and everything is wonderful and promising. Note that if such a situation arose, it means that we can definitely say that the end of the past relationship has not been set and the feelings have not cooled down.

To understand for yourself who you need to choose, you should answer some questions for yourself:

1. What caused the breakup and what didn’t suit you ex-partner. It is important to understand if nothing has changed and a similar situation happens again, whether you can come to terms with it;
2. Is there a fear of opening up to a new person and building a new strong union? Keep in mind that women are often able to idealize past relationships, but if you try to remember everything like that, then not everything was as wonderful as it seems;
3. Make a list of positive and negative qualities both partners, just do it as truthfully as possible. Or write a list of characteristics that the ideal man and compare each partner using it.

Thanks to this kind of work, a woman will be able to understand from whom to accept love and with whom it is better to build truly sincere relationships. Remember, there is no 100% guarantee that the particular man you choose will make you happy, since a relationship is the work of two people and no one knows what might happen tomorrow. Psychologists do not recommend delaying and postponing making a decision until the future, because this will only aggravate the situation and in the end you can lose both of them and be left with nothing.

Two new acquaintances

Figuring out how to choose if I love two different men, it is worth understanding another popular situation, when a woman is simultaneously courted by two representatives of the stronger sex, with whom there is no history in the past. IN similar situations Most often, fans are the absolute opposite of each other, for example, one is a romantic, and the other is brutal. Start by analyzing the actions and actions that men perform, not only towards you, but also towards other people.

Here, the famous proverb fits more than ever - "Tell me who your friend is and I'll tell you who you are". Then you should think about what kind of relationship you want. For example, with a “bad guy”, you most likely won’t be able to spend the evening watching a movie or admiring the sunset. The relationship in such a couple is more like a volcano that regularly explodes. If a woman is not ready for such a union in the future, then there is no point in starting a relationship, since such males do not change.

You will be able to choose a worthy man only after you have managed to understand yourself. You need to think about what exactly attracts you in each partner, since many ladies often deceive themselves that they like a certain man.

Thanks to simple analysis It will be possible to draw conclusions that will help make the right choice. Psychologists say that sometimes it’s enough to talk openly with a man, to say what’s missing in a relationship, and then you won’t have to make a choice.

When a woman stands in front difficult choice, you can turn to the advice given by professional psychologists. They will help you analyze the situation and make a decision.

1. Imagine a future with each partner. Think about what kind of man will be a husband and father. Can you count on a happy future;
2. Meet friends and relatives of candidates for your heart. The environment will help you better understand how a person behaves in different situations;
3. Sometimes, to decide who I love, you just need to trust your intuition. Just try to feel who exactly your soulmate is;
4. Sometimes, to understand who is worth staying with, you need to be alone. You can go on a trip and then make a choice. By moving away from everyone you can understand who is really needed.

By the way, I would like to recall the old wisdom that says that if you don’t know who to choose from two lovers, then choose the second one. This is explained by the fact that if a woman loves the first man, she will never pay attention to the other.

Question " How to choose between two men?“has probably bothered or is bothering every woman. It is very difficult to find a way out of this situation, especially knowing that you can break the heart of one of the contenders for your heart. But you still have to make a choice, because the good old saying goes: “If you chase two hares, you won’t catch either.” By tormenting yourself and the men who are in love with you, you risk best case scenario to remain alone, because sooner or later they will get tired of the rivalry, and before you have time to blink an eye, both fans will be gone. In addition, you must remember that men also have feelings that are very easy to hurt, even despite the external “impenetrability”.

The simplest and most popular way is to trust your intuition. It’s not for nothing that legends are made about it, because women’s intuition is truly a very powerful feeling. Listen to yourself, imagine yourself next to each of the men in a year, five years, ten years. Would you like to be with him for that long? Would you like to live with him under the same roof, meet his parents, become part of his family and raise common children? At this stage you should more or less decide on your choice. Try not to delay thinking, because the longer you wait, the more you give men hope. As a result, parting with one of them will be much more unpleasant than, for example, a week ago.

If your intuition is this issue chose to remain silent, which means it’s time to turn on logic and think about who could be suitable for you, based on the habits of both men, their appearance, character and hobbies. To definitely decide who you really need, we advise you to use our tips, which you can find below.

Positive qualities of a man

One of the very first steps on the path to choosing a man of your heart is to determine his positive qualities. At this stage, you need to analyze both chosen ones as accurately as possible, identify them strengths, habits that you like, common hobbies and the like. To do this, we have compiled several questions, the answers to which will help you sort out your feelings.

What is his sense of humor?
It's no secret that it quickly becomes boring with dull people who are unable to understand a basic joke. Do you want a sissy who is constantly offended by your harmless jokes? Hardly. It is much more pleasant to be next to a cheerful man. He can always lift your spirits, keep up a conversation, and make you laugh in company and alone. Take a closer look at your chosen ones, how do they behave around you? Try making an innocent joke and see their reaction.

What does he like about me?
This is very important question, although you still won’t get a definite answer to it from a man. You should take a closer look at him, how does he behave in company? Draws attention to other girls who have longer hair than you. The skirt is shorter, the figure is slimmer, the breasts are larger, and so on. If he only likes your appearance, then this person is definitely not an ideal chosen one. Appearance is a matter of time. Will he be there for you when your flat tummy is covered in stretch marks after you give birth to his baby? Will his attitude change when your hair turns gray and wrinkles appear? Think carefully about this.

How does he treat me?
Some men really like to take on the role of a home-grown tyrant, dictating their terms for your every step. Are any of your chosen ones able to respect your choice? Do they respect your choice? Is there support in case of failure? If you make a mistake, won't they scream and accuse you of all mortal sins? The key to any relationship is respect on both sides. If it is not there, then it will not appear. You shouldn’t build a family on the principle of “endure and fall in love”; it has never justified itself.

Is he lying to me?
This is also a very important question. Men who lie even about small things can easily lie in response to a more serious question. If you have repeatedly noticed lies behind one of your chosen ones, think three times before staying with him. What if he already has two wives? adult daughter and debts of several thousand?

Can he always find time for me?
Of course, it’s very nice when a man is ready to talk to you or take a walk in the park at any moment. Try calling him during a football match and inviting him over for a cup of coffee? If you don’t hear obscene language, and half an hour later your man is standing on the doorstep with a cake, you can safely go buy a wedding dress. Men are quite rarely able to escape from their everyday affairs in order to spend time with their beloved. If you come across such a rare specimen, appreciate this quality.

How much do I have in common with him?
Common interests are one of several bonds that are the key to good relations. Find out from your chosen ones: what hobby they have, what they like to do, what kind of music they like, whether they like to cook, and the like. The more matches you find with your interests, the more suitable this man will be for you.

Is he a romantic? Every woman likes it when she is given flowers for no reason, or when a man is able to independently prepare a small dinner for two when you come home from work. The lack of romanticism in a man is not such a big drawback, although here you have to be guided by yourself. Some women don't like excessive romance either.

Isn't he greedy?
No, it's not about the roses and rings that he gives you or doesn't give you. It's about the most ordinary everyday things. Can he occasionally pay for you in a cafe or even on the bus? Out of the blue, should I buy you some ice cream? Pay for a taxi? Even if you are a self-sufficient woman, such little things are still very pleasant. And if any of your men thinks that it is better to save an extra hundred than to allow yourself to eat delicious salad in a restaurant, then you should think about whether everything is fine with his finances? If so, then he's just a regular redneck. It is unlikely that you will be delighted with a relationship with such a stingy person, especially if it comes to marriage.

After carefully reading these questions, you must determine for yourself who is more reliable. If it happens that both men are perfect for you, then the situation is more complicated than it seemed. Try talking to your girlfriends, ask them to announce all the pros and cons of each man. From the outside, sometimes everything looks completely different, especially if you are fascinated and it does not allow you to think soberly.

It should be remembered that you still have to make a choice. And it will still hurt someone. If you are dealing with two good friends, then think carefully: are your feelings for one of the men really stronger than their friendship? Are you ready to destroy it by choosing one of the men? Indeed, in rare cases, rivals remain friends and a break in relations is inevitable. If you haven’t had time to become very attached to men, then try to find someone else without ruining your male friendship. Well, if you are still too strongly attracted to one of them, then make a choice and do not torture the second man.

After you have made a choice, it is very important not to cheat on him and not to reproach your chosen one for owing you something because you chose him over another. Such an attitude can create a scandal and lead to a break. Respect your man, be faithful to him and do not torment yourself with thoughts about the second chosen one, whom you refused. If thoughts about him do not leave you for a minute, it means you made the wrong choice, and if not much time has passed, then there is still an opportunity to change everything.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes under any circumstances. You are responsible only for yourself and your life. It’s not your fault that both men paid attention to you at the same time; don’t blame yourself for it. When choosing a lover, it is important to look ahead. remember, that the main objective- is to feel as comfortable as possible next to your man. Give preference to someone with whom you are already comfortable initial stage relationships with whom you can be yourself, who understands and supports you.

We hope our tips helped you solve your problem.

When two gentlemen are not inferior to each other in the best masculine qualities and show their love equally, women are at a loss for choice. They worry that they will make a mistake or alienate both applicants. If a girl cannot choose one of two guys, she is not sure of her feelings or of her gentlemen.

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The choice becomes more difficult when she is not at a loss if she sees that one has the necessary traits, and the other shows more attention. Or, on the one hand, there are material values, and on the other, emotional attachment, which equally interfere with making the right decision.

Why do such situations arise?

At the beginning of a relationship, it is easier to make the right choice. The girl trusts her feelings and chooses the guy she likes best. She is honest with herself and other people. She doesn’t understand why create a situation in which she has to make a choice and deceive two wonderful men.

But it also happens that the characters and manners of the guys are similar, being in the company of each of them, she cannot divide them into two different personalities. He is stalling for time, hoping that it will put everything in its place and just go with the flow. It is difficult for her to make a choice if:

• both guys are great;
• they treat her equally well;
• one does expensive gifts, and the other gives peace of mind and confidence;
• the first guy combines some qualities, and the second - others, both make up an ideal image;
• flatters the attention of two good guys at once.

Dreams and the lack of strict criteria for selecting an applicant lead to this situation. The girl does not have clear preferences; it is difficult for her to make choices in life. She grew up in love and care, it is normal for her to feel surrounded by more than one admirer.

Perhaps she is selfish and does not care about other people's feelings. She doesn't care that she will be hurt when young people find out that she is dating two at once. The girl is confident in herself and is not afraid to be alone, because she knows that someone else will definitely love her.

There is a situation when a girl broke up with a guy, and she was immediately asked to date by someone else who has liked her for a long time. A new relationship began, and the old love suddenly reminded of itself. The ex, whose love has not yet passed, offers to start all over again, and the real guy has already become an important part of her life.

How to know who to choose

The best test will be your own feelings alone with yourself. You need to understand why, when you are with one, you begin to gravitate towards the other and who the girl misses more. If this does not help, you should resort to a science such as relationship psychology and sort the problem into pieces. Sooner or later you will have to make a choice in favor of one.

By writing down your feelings on paper or making notes in e-book, it will be easier for a woman to make a choice regarding one of them. Care should be taken that the guy does not come across the recording and he does not think that the girl is with him not because she loves him, but because of the best option.

If you still can’t decide on one person, you need to look for a third one with whom there will be no doubts. Who will give harmony, confidence and tranquility. With whom will the heart beat stronger?

A good way to test is to try to get sick and see who worries more, takes better care and is not afraid of getting infected. IN life together this is important because all people get sick and no one can avoid it. At the same time, the girl will think about whom she will be happy to look after and who will not irritate her with sniffling noses and loud coughs.

What does this lead to?

In a situation in which a woman is faced with a choice between two men, there is no clear idea of ​​what she expects from the relationship. She should make a list of qualities that appeal to her and those that she will never put up with. Think about who she wants to see next to her every day and whether they have a common future.

If there is a choice between ex-boyfriend or a husband, and a real one, then the decision must be approached very thoroughly. Everything bad that happened between the couple and what upset the man has faded over time, and his assurances that he has changed may turn out to be false. Bringing back the old and dear seems right, so a woman who is not yet accustomed to a new man often makes the wrong choice, clinging to the past.

After some time, she regrets that she succumbed to persuasion and lost the person who was ready to make her happy. But her fear of the future deprived her of the chance for a more harmonious relationship.

Psychologists advise building relationships taking into account the following factors:

1. 1. No one guarantees that a harmonious relationship will develop with the chosen man and that he will make the woman happy.
2. 2. You should make a decision quickly, otherwise the dual situation will come out and the girl will lose both guys. Long thought is not a guarantee best result. The woman only gets wasted time and fear that the truth will be revealed and the suitors will leave her.
3. 3. Do not immediately upset if problems and misunderstandings arise in the relationship. We must build them based on own desires, do not listen to advice and listen to your intuition.

Relationship psychology believes that if a second man appears in life, and a woman cannot make a choice, it means that there was no deep feeling for the first one and she must choose the second.

Question to a psychologist

I am 24 years old. My boyfriend is my age, and we have been together for 4 years (2 of which we live together). He's my first. He is a very positive, homely person, he brings everything into the house, he doesn’t waste money, he spends it all the time on me. It’s calm and reliable with him, he’s a good support and support for me. But the only thing is that for some reason sex with him never really pleased me. It always happens as a matter of routine, part of our common duties, and brings almost no pleasure. In bed he does everything mechanically and without manifestation strong emotions. I know he's trying, but he's not emotional person in general, and in sex in particular. And sex is very important to me, I don’t consider it a secondary thing in a relationship. I learned to put up with what didn’t suit me, and we had a calm and measured life. But he was in no hurry to marry me. Sometimes I even asked him when we would get married, and he simply said that now was not the time, and sometimes he added that sometimes he did not like my behavior, and whether we should have even gotten married with such a relationship. But at the same time he didn’t want to break up with me and said that he loved me.
But three months ago another man appeared. He is French, he came to work in our organization, he is 26 years old, and feelings flared up between us. I found in this man everything that I was missing in my boyfriend. The Frenchman is very open man, he has emotions, he is a very passionate lover. With him I have the kind of sex I've always dreamed of. I thought that maybe he was just playing with me, but after a while I became convinced that he had real feelings for me and that he loved me very much. And I also fell very much in love with him. He said that for my sake he was ready to stay in Russia, and he was ready to do everything to stay with me, to live with me. From the material side, of course, it’s worse here, but it’s quite possible to live.
When I told my boyfriend that we needed to break up because I had met someone else, he changed in a second. He did not want to leave, he began to persuade me to stay and put pressure on my weak spots. He said that he always wanted to marry me, he just wanted to settle his financial problems first. He said that he always wanted a child with me and that he loved me more life. Every time during such a conversation, I began to cry and ask why he had not paid attention to me before, minded his own business and did not say that he wanted everything that he was now telling me about. All these conversations did not end with anything. On my initiative, we even separated, but it turned out to be temporary, since he still continued to call me, offer to start a family, support me so that I could even leave work and not need anything. I cried because I couldn’t decide what to do. On the one hand - established relationships, material well-being, family, love, emotions. They both love me and would do anything for me. Now I can’t understand who I love and who I should stay with. Thinking about a possible life with one, I begin to think that I will feel bad without the second. The Frenchman means a lot to me, but I also can’t live without my boyfriend (who doesn’t want to become an ex). I can't voluntarily let any of them go. I kept waiting for the problem to solve itself - one of them would get bored, and someone would leave me. But this doesn't happen and I can't solve anything. I've been living in hell for three months now :(

...I can't voluntarily let any of them go...

It's worth leaving both. And it is simply necessary to take responsibility for your life. Otherwise, kindergarten.

...Now I can’t understand who I love and who I should stay with...

Infatuation and love are two different things.

Love comes gradually, love comes quickly.

Love grows, and growth takes time. Falling in love usually seems to fall on your head.

The ability to love increases along with the growth of personality.

Falling in love is associated with the animal nature of a person, love is associated with his maturity.

In order to fall in love: it is enough to let everything take its course and give yourself free rein.

In a state of falling in love, the image of another person becomes an obsession and without it life seems meaningless.

For falling in love, sex is crucial; in love it is not paramount.

In love, the partner is always present, the relationship with him continues all the time, because we have built or are building life itself with him.

Falling in love creates the illusion of growth, being in fact only a stop, a temporary cessation of neurosis.

Love by definition represents personal growth.

Think about it.

Hello Olga! let's look at what's going on:

On the one hand - established relationships, material well-being, family, children and stability. On the other hand - mad passion, love, emotions. They both love me and would do anything for me. Now I can't understand who do I love and who should I stay with?

it is YOU who is loved - and NOT YOU! You accept FROM them, WHAT YOU MISS from yourself! and YOU are afraid to be left NOT WITHOUT THEM - but WITH YOURSELF!

but you need to proceed from the consequences of your actions and decision - after all, responsibility FOR YOUR choice will only affect YOUR life!

what is the first young man? which one is HE REAL? did YOU see him? for the entire time you lived with him - you accepted such an attitude towards yourself and now HE ONLY IN WORDS wants to give YOU everything - and for all the time - what happened in actions? YOU are afraid of losing only WHAT IS ONLY IN YOUR HEAD - WHAT YOU yourself believe in - i.e. his words....

the second - HE gives YOU WHAT is MISSING in your relationship with the first - but do you need him....

the choice is still YOURS...

Thinking about a possible life with one, I begin to think that I will feel bad without the second.

The Frenchman means a lot to me, but I also can’t live without my boyfriend (who doesn’t want to become an ex).

Left WITHOUT THEM, YOU will find yourself with yourself - and this is what YOU are afraid of! what will happen then? Who will you encounter?

It’s important to get to know YOURSELF and learn to give yourself WHAT YOU need, and NOT look for yourself outside!

I can't voluntarily let any of them go. I kept waiting for the problem to solve itself - one of them would get bored, and someone would leave me. But this doesn't happen and I can't solve anything. I've been living in hell for three months now :(

Please note - it is YOU who allow yourself to live in hell - it is YOU who treat yourself this way, who torment yourself! and it is YOU who cannot take responsibility - since the choice is the consequences that YOU are NOT ready to bear and shift this responsibility onto the young people around YOU - how mature is this? and who do THEY want next to them - a Child who cannot make a decision or a Woman? Question - who are you? but when you get tired - they both realize who you are and decide everything for themselves and perhaps WITHOUT YOU and YOU will come to what you are running from - TO YOURSELF!!

Olga, if you really decide to figure out what’s going on, feel free to contact me - call me - I’ll be glad to help you!