How to get out of a vicious circle? Rewrite history... Get out of the vicious circle

How to break out

DESPITE

NOTHING!

Chapter 1. Do we want to change something?

“... We have already played this half,

And they only managed to understand one thing:

So that you are not lost on earth -

Try not to lose yourself!..."

from the song by Alexander Gradsky

How many times has it happened that we lie in front of the TV in the evening and watch a movie in which the main character, having overcome difficulties, doubts and self-doubt, achieves incredible changes in his life, becoming rich, happy and respected. Having overcome suffering, emptiness and depression, despite the fact that someone underestimates him and does not believe in his abilities, he achieves his goals. Often such films end with him (the main character) going on a trip on a white ship (or his own yacht), experiencing well-deserved satisfaction from the fact that he COULD do it.

We are lying on the sofa, watching the finale, and a lump is rolling up to our throats (of course, we make every effort necessary so that no one notices this). And in my head I thought: “Damn it! How great everything turned out for him! I would like it too... Cars, yachts, travel... Respect, love, confidence in the future and the well-being of children... I would like it too... Getting rid of boring problems, victories, achievements, a feeling of joy and inner peace... An interesting, rich life, recognition... I would like it your own “happy ending”...

Then we fall asleep. We wake up in the morning, and... everything starts all over again. We again set out on our journey in our vicious circle.

Many people spend most of their lives in a closed circle. A vicious circle is when the first word that comes into our consciousness in the morning is the word “MUST”. I NEED – but I don’t want to. I don’t want to, but I HAVE TO. We need to go to work, but we don’t want to, because work doesn’t bring us satisfaction. I need to send my boots in for repairs, but I don’t want to, because it doesn’t give me any pleasure to continue wearing them. It is necessary to clean the apartment, but there is no particular desire, since the furnishings have not been updated for a long time, and the degree of coziness and comfort does not contribute to the manifestation of motivation to do something in this apartment.

A vicious circle is when we do not live the way we would like. If we are chronically lacking something, something that is important and necessary for us. If we are unhappy with the way we live, and yet month after month, year after year, the state of things remains the same. When our life passes as if in a fog. One day is like another, and we are painfully missing something extraordinary, new, some significant events and positive changes. When such wonderful holidays as birthdays and New Years stop making you happy. Because these dates, like milestones, remind us that ANOTHER YEAR has passed, and again nothing in our lives has changed for the better.

Five key points, the long-term absence or shortage of which indicate to us that we are in a vicious circle: money, time, recognition, improvement and self-realization. Moreover, without “dealing” with the first two, it is very difficult to make up for the lack of the others.

The concept of lack of money is very relative. For some, they are not enough for the basic necessities, and for others, they are not enough to buy an island in the Pacific Ocean. The case when financial income is not enough to satisfy basic human needs is, unfortunately, the most common, and certainly the most offensive. He looks painfully familiar. If, instead of living a bright, fulfilling life, instead of receiving moral, creative and material satisfaction from your activities, instead of giving joy to your children, you have to work from morning to evening so that you do NOT go hungry. So that the family would NOT be undressed. To NOT turn off gas, electricity, telephone. All this looks less like life and more like survival.

Lack of time is also not uncommon, and money shortages often go hand in hand. There is no time to relax with family, chat with friends, or read a book. I'm not even talking about the fact that sometimes you have to give up doing what you love due to lack of both time and money. Every single day it’s either ND (no money) or NV (no time). The child asks to buy him a mobile phone - ND. Go on a picnic - NV. Go to the concert of your favorite “star” - NDNV. Interestingly, the reason for the lack of time, as a rule, is that all of it is spent on earning “little” money. Money that is only enough to NOT starve, NOT to be naked, and a few more “NOTs”.

From time to time, rebellious thoughts arise: “What kind of life is this! How long can you tolerate this?!” But time passes (which is not enough), and one becomes accustomed to this state of affairs. DANGEROUS ADDITION. Watching TV programs about travel and exotic countries, we stop WANTING to go there. We go to expensive stores less and less. We begin to look at beautiful cars “in a pedestrian way” (they say, there are so many of them, there is nowhere to pass). It's a shame that so many people settle for "what is" when the range of what money can buy is simply limitless! When new travel agencies open almost every day! When in Home stores you can buy the most unimaginable things that can improve and decorate our lives, the variety of household appliances is simply amazing, and cars are gradually ceasing to be a luxury! Who is this all for?! After all, just think, having an income of a little more than $1000 per month, literally within a year you can get rid of the burden of “financial tails” (if they are not very large) and take out a car on credit; start saving enough each month to spend time with your family abroad once a year; eat and dress quite well and every two to three months buy something that will increase the pleasure of being in your home (for example: a food processor, microwave oven, vacuum cleaner, etc.)

A fair question may arise here: “Where can I get it, this $1000?” Do you really want this? If your answer is “Yes, very much!”, then I think everything will be fine with you, and through this book I will try to help you as much as possible.

it's possible. Perhaps you are interested in how you can earn moneymore thousands of dollars a month? Well, in this book you can find the answer to this question. Ultimately it all depends on what youtake it from what you read.

Life around us is becoming brighter and more interesting every day, but this brightness may not be for us. If we allow ourselves to come to terms with what is. If we allow ourselves to get used to the routine, to the vicious circle we find ourselves inside. If we don't remember that we want, we have the right And Can live the way we want! If we don’t remember this, then it may happen that nothing will NEVER change. Why? Yes, because when we get used to finding something good in what is, at the same time we stop thinking about how we wanted to live, while at the same time ceasing to look for ways to improve our lives, we can get bogged down to such an extent that we are simply unable to see the opportunities that sometimes slowly float past our windows.

There are different types of "vicious circles". It happens that there seems to be money, but you have to work “for it.” When there is no time to take advantage of the benefits that having money provides. Because as soon as you stop, they will immediately disappear.

Sometimes you have to hold on to a “straw” for a long time, seemingly a good income, while feeling that at any moment this straw could break, leaving behind only one question: “What to do now?” There are closed circles in which we chronically feel a lack of prospects or experience pressure and underestimation of us as individuals by our superiors. There are vicious circles of lack of communication and opportunities to express oneself. There are many types of vicious circles, but they all have one thing in common: YOU CAN GET OUT OF THEM. If there is an entrance, there must be an exit somewhere. And in order to find this way out, it is necessary, first of all, to start

Psychologists have long introduced into their practice the concept of “ comfort zone" It implies an area of ​​personal living space for each of us, within which we feel more confident and protected. Of course, such an “island of safety” is often the only place where we are reliably protected from all the worries of the rest of the world.

But at the same time, it limits and inhibits the development of personality, leading to its gradual degradation. The first signs that a person has become a prisoner of his own comfort zones, are days stretching one after another, passing according to the same scenario. “Life has dragged on like a swamp,” they say in such cases, referring to the hopeless life. Usually people prefer to think that this is how it should be: they are bored, but at the same time comfortable and calm.

A year passes, five years, and we get used to what we initially didn’t like, irritated and didn’t like... Maybe it’s time to gather strength, add a pinch of courage and take a decisive step beyond the boundaries of the outlined circle? When you are young, this is done easier, but with age, the desire to change something disappears. As the famous Coco Chanel once said, “If you want to have something you’ve never had, start doing something you’ve never done.”

Yes, many surprises await us outside our comfort zone, some pleasant and some not so pleasant. But this is the path to something new, and it should start with the main thing - awareness of the boundaries of your zone and search ways out beyond its limits.

Algorithm of actions

First of all, convince yourself that development is what you need. Personal interest is the key to success. The next step is to change your attitude towards the situation. Going beyond boundaries comfort zones associated with something terrible and extremely complex. But look at the world from the other, unfamiliar side: there are so many exciting and interesting things in it!

Don’t try to act in all directions at once; first, choose one. For example, you have long exhausted your capabilities in your current position, but career advancement is not expected. You have clearly stayed too long within your usual walls - change your job or occupation. Dramatic steps can sometimes revive even long-stifled talent. Remember what you dreamed of doing before you settled comfortably in this job, what abilities you showed in your youth - and act! Awaken your interest in life!

Not ready for this drastic changes? Start small. Change something in your usual way of life: make a different route to work, renovate your apartment, rearrange the furniture, start doing exercises in the morning, find yourself a hobby (remember, you used to like dancing, assembling model airplanes, learning foreign languages ​​or martial arts ?).

But you shouldn’t hope for immediate results: the border troops of the comfort zone are desperately resisting, so a lot of effort will have to be made to destroy the “historically established” borders. Perhaps at first you will feel discomfort not only on a mental, but also on a physical level. To finally establish a new habit, repeat the actions that form it persistently and regularly. Pull yourself together and bring what you started to the end, more precisely, until the moment when the innovation enters your expanded comfort zone.

From managers to chefs

Here are ways you can escape the comfort of your dungeon faster.

Learn new things.

Sign up for courses in hairdressing, pastry chefs or foreign languages. With any learning you have to use the trial and error method, that is, automatically violate boundaries comfort zones. If you want to be successful, constantly study without any fear of losing interest, because the world is too big to comprehend in one lifetime.

Visit “hard to reach” places, meet people

For example, you dream of a car or a fur coat, but you avoid car dealerships and expensive stores because you feel awkward due to the lack of the required amount. Cast aside your fears and go in, ask the price, feel able to buy the thing you want - change your behavior.

Success will never come to those who are afraid of their dreams. The same applies to relationships: look for meetings with those with whom you would never speak before due to some conventions or embarrassment. Do not be afraid of making new acquaintances, including among those who are higher than you in social status.

Ask and ask

Consciously put yourself in an uncomfortable position. When you obtain information that interests you, ask others for help if you need it. Nothing will happen if you are denied it, you will not lose anything. Much more often you will receive a comprehensive answer and support.

Try to make non-standard decisions, and you will see how many new and interesting things will open up for you. Convince yourself that as soon as the sense of novelty leaves life, old age immediately creeps up. Does anyone really want to grow old?

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Psychologist's answer.

Gulya, hello!
By the way, are you Gulnara? Very beautiful name.
Your question already contains the answer: The circle must be broken!
Open.
You see, the stress and worries about such a sudden departure of those closest and dearest to you are still very, very strong. Still fresh for you. You haven’t completely let go of your grandparents yet.
But we must remember that this will definitely be experienced: such is life! And death, unfortunately, is part of life.
You will always love and remember your grandparents! You will love them. You will sometimes ask for their advice and they will help you: in the form of a dream, in the form of a signal or sign, a word said by someone on business, or your own thought.
They are your guardian angels! And grandma, apparently, is a very strong guardian angel!
But there are also those alive who are next to you. I am sure that your mother loves you very much! He just doesn’t really know how, or doesn’t really know how to show it to you.
The nature of people is very different. Some people find it easy to show warmth and love. And for some people this is not available at all - they simply consider it unnecessary! Such people are not bad, not cruel, not callous. They just have a different psychology.
You should come up to your mother, hold her close and tell her how difficult it is for you, how you want to quickly plunge into life again, how much you want warmth! Simple warmth!
Here, Gulya, do just that! And don't expect anything in return! Do it, say it and calmly walk away.
You will immediately feel better. Trust me.
Be sure to tell your mom “thank you.” Say it while looking into your eyes. Tell the good lord. And again, don’t expect anything in response! Don't explain, don't ask for explanations.
Brother in the army??? Write to him every day! Write two letters!
When this acute and difficult period passes, you will need to think about starting to change something in yourself:
- You need both girlfriends and friends! That is, you need your own communication zone. Gulya, you need to learn to look closely at people. You must be able to listen and understand them. I'm sure there are people who might be of interest to you.
Novels, movies, etc. - This is good. But this is not enough, and sometimes it is even harmful. Invented lives and unreal experiences. Do you understand? And you need something that will make you stronger.
- Still, you need to develop. “I’m not interested in anything” - it happens, yes. But this happens when a person feels bad. Your “badness” will pass and interest will appear. The main thing is to always be “in life”, not to turn yourself off.
Keep working on yourself! Motivation is born in different ways and from different incentives! You must continue to go to the gym, learn new activities, go shopping (just because!), attend some events, cinemas and theaters (if you have them)!
- Find a job you can do! Now this is quite difficult, so you will have the opportunity to concentrate your attention on this. Find yourself not the first job you come across, but choose more! This will give you confidence in yourself! (Of course, I’m talking about the ideal option. But if there are few opportunities, then go for any job, but make sure that you enjoy it)!
And talk! Talk to your mother, family and friends. There is no need to complain endlessly, but you must talk about how you feel!
I'm with you. Write. Good luck.

Have you ever thought that the world around you has stood still and every day is similar to the previous one?

Nothing new happens in life, and all the problems you are trying to solve remain unresolved.

Psychics call this life moment dead center.

The term “dead center” was introduced by the German psychotherapist Klaus Vopel in 1870, based on the work of his fellow countryman, the famous German physicist Albert Einstein and his theory of relativity.

According to this theory, time has certain physical parameters and develops in a spiral relative to man and relative to the world. Almost at the same time with the emergence of the theory of relativity, another physicist, the Dutchman Heinrich Laurens, tried to mathematically prove that the speed of time directly depends on the number of events that occur in a person’s life. If space is filled with events, the time spiral develops moderately and gradually unwinds.

At the moment when a person stops acting, the spiral closes and the person finds himself in a vicious circle, when time passes, but space does not change. The longer a person stays in such a circle, the more difficult it is for him to move to a new round of the spiral. And even having started to act again, he cannot get out of the circle. This is the so-called dead center.

At such a moment, both the functions of consciousness and the functions of the subconscious stop and become imbalanced. And there is absolutely no synchronization between consciousness and subconscious. That is, with the mind a person wants changes, but subconsciously remains standing still.

There is an ancient Taoist way of breaking out of a vicious circle.

Its essence is that initially a person should be frightened, and at the moment of this fright the person should not show aggression. It is necessary to align and synchronize the vectors of consciousness in which a person is located with the vector of his subconscious. When these two vectors are synchronized, success will come to a person very quickly.

Taoism is an ancient Chinese religious doctrine that originated in the 5th century BC and became the basis of the culture and philosophy of the East. People who sought to comprehend all the secrets of Taoism went to special educational schools, the peculiarity of which was the presence of a complex and intricate labyrinth in the school yard.

Followers of Taoism believed that by learning to find a way out of the labyrinth, a person could overcome any internal obstacles and rise above his own consciousness. Perhaps the labyrinth will help you get out of the vicious circle.

The “Labyrinth” method - get rid of problems, change your life

Finding a labyrinth in a metropolis is not so easy. It must be a confusing, quite scary room. Some abandoned unfinished building would be suitable, so that the corridors end in the most unexpected places, and the rooms are like two peas in a pod, similar to each other.

You need an assistant who will blindfold you and lead you to the center of the maze. There is no time limit when exiting the maze.

You can also go through the labyrinth of fate in an apartment in order to move your life forward without being in danger if you are convinced that you are in a vicious circle where you live a monotonous life, where your life and career are frozen in place. Almost 40% of people change jobs in such cases, and 60% remain sadly.

A labyrinth, but not necessarily a real one, will help turn life from a circle into a spiral. The situation in which a person finds himself is in his head. And you need to pull it out from there in the form of a labyrinth and find a way out of it.

For this, psychologists suggest draw a labyrinth and be sure to use your left hand. Psychologists say that when we draw with our left hand, we activate our right hemisphere of the brain. This is the emotional center that contains subconscious, unconscious information about our problems and difficulties.

The maze should start from the left edge of the sheet or board and end at the right. The left side is responsible for the past, and the right for the future. Now the drawn labyrinth must be transferred into the real world using available materials. You can do this with candles, books or other objects.

The main thing is to arrange the objects exactly so that they reproduce the shape of your inner labyrinth. After this, you need to walk through it, slowly and with thoughts about the situation.

Remember how you felt in your body as you walked through the labyrinth. This method is called process-oriented psychology.

In 1987, its founder, psychotherapist Arnold Mindell, published the results of introducing the method among patients. According to them, almost 70% of people who experienced this technique lost their problems and actually confirmed 100% that they had positive changes in their lives.

SPECIAL PROJECT

Sometimes it feels like everything has fallen on you at once. You're stuck in a traffic jam, there's a deadline at work, your child is hysterical, and at night you can't sleep a wink because you're replaying the events of a hard day in your head. As a result, you don’t get enough sleep, become irritable, and experience chronic fatigue.

The nature of factors that cause stress - stressors - can be different: everyday, interpersonal, professional. You can't avoid stressors, but you can learn to cope with them.

Stress, I know you

The physiological reaction to stressors is similar for most people: it all starts with mild anxiety, then the stomach cramps, hands shake, sweating increases, dry mouth appears, and sleep is disturbed. Everyone knows these feelings.

It is generally accepted that people with an external locus of control are most susceptible to stress - those who value the assessment of others, the praise of loved ones, and the attitude of the team. People with an internal locus of control, in turn, rely only on themselves, but this does not mean that there is no place for stressors in their lives: strained relationships in the family, problems at school for a child, or a difficult situation at work will unsettle anyone.

The “risk group” also includes workaholics who are ready to work for days without paying attention to fatigue and alarm signals from the body. It turns out that no one has insurance against nervous experiences.

Meanwhile, this is one of the most dangerous human conditions. During times of severe or ongoing stress, immunity decreases, signs of aging show themselves prematurely, metabolism deteriorates, and stomach problems arise. Ancient practices and modern means help prevent serious consequences.

Keep calm

About 5,000 years ago, a special type of healing appeared in Ancient China - acupuncture or acupuncture. According to the teaching, Qi energy flows inside each of us through the channels connected to the internal organs. If for some reason Qi stagnates in the channels, the body’s functioning is disrupted. Qi stagnation can also cause deep stress.

Tiny needles, placed throughout the body in a special order, regulate the flow of Qi energy, adjusting the functioning of the body and leveling the emotional state. Today, acupuncture is used not only by adherents of Eastern culture, but also by skeptics - therapy helps them to deeply relax and leave worries behind the threshold, which is already a lot for the modern rhythm of life.

Meditation, which is usually combined with yoga, is popular among celebrities. However, in order to let off steam and calm down, it is also effective as an independent method. To learn to meditate, it is not at all necessary to take the lotus position and chant “om-mmm.”

Find a comfortable body position, close your eyes and imagine a place where you feel good and calm. It could be a bamboo forest, an oceanfront bungalow, or a spacious field. The location is not as important as your condition - try to focus on it: what sensations do you experience, what smells are floating around, how does the wind rustle, is your skin warm? Over time, you will notice how adversity recedes into the background, and at the end of the session you will feel balanced and at ease.

Breathing practices, in turn, act as an SOS method. It’s not for nothing that when we are irritated, we are told: “Breathe out!” At the first sign of stress, it is useful to use abdominal breathing. To do this, place your hand on your stomach, slowly inhale and exhale through your nose, counting to 5. You should get a wave: when you inhale, the stomach first retracts, then the chest expands, and vice versa - when you exhale. A couple of minutes and the emotions will subside.

Medications that have a gentle effect on the body can also provide reliable support for stress. Thus, the natural remedy “Homeostres ® ” gently soothes and reduces the manifestations of key symptoms of stress day after day, leading to normalization in the emotional sphere. Celandine, licorice and viburnum are responsible for the proper functioning of the gastrointestinal tract, disturbed by stress, and wrestler, belladonna and calendula restore healthy sleep.

Lozenges should be taken two three times a day for two weeks of the course. After three days, the manifestations of stress will become less pronounced, after another week, good health will be restored and stress resistance will increase. Thanks to proper rest at night, you will be able to more confidently resist negative factors during the day and get out of the cycle of stressful conditions. It is important that Homeostres ® does not cause drowsiness, lethargy or addiction, therefore it is suitable even for children from three years of age who have there may be no less reasons for stress than in adults.

Bad things happen to everyone, but you can learn how to relieve stress and prevent its damaging effects on your health.

There are contraindications. Before use, you should consult a specialist. Registration number: LSR-006558/09