How do you manage to remain calm? Calmness as a skill and character trait. A little excitement is good

Being calm does not mean being indifferent. This means being able to control yourself. How often do people find themselves in situations where they simply need to remain calm: stress, conflict situations, discrepancies in expectations and reality, failures. Emotions begin to fill the person. To prevent emotions from consuming your mind, you need to remain calm.

Why is it important?

Firstly, because a “cool head” is able to think logically and draw the right conclusions, clearly analyzing the situation and suggesting options for getting out of it.
Secondly, a calm reaction to a conflict situation gives a person additional time to choose a course of action.
Thirdly, a calm person controls his words and actions, which means he will not aggravate the current situation with his actions and words.

So, it is very important to remain calm in any situation, but in practice it is extremely difficult to do this, especially for impulsive and emotional people. The reason for this is in the mechanisms of reaction to stimuli. The fact is that the stimulus itself does not cause a reaction of anxiety in us. This reaction appears in response to one's own thoughts.

The mechanism of anxiety is simple:

Sense organs detect something (sound, image, tactile sensation).
The brain instantly identifies the stimulus with some image.
An emotional reaction to one’s own thoughts occurs: fear, horror, laughter, irritation, etc.

It is thoughts that cause an emotional reaction in a person. The speed of its occurrence depends on the speed of formation of nerve connections and, naturally, some people react faster, while others slower.

A person reacts not to the environment, but exclusively to himself. Moreover, the strength and speed of his reaction depends on the speed and stability of the nervous connections of his own body. An interesting conclusion emerges that we react to our thoughts in our own way, depending on personal characteristics. Understanding this, you can establish a number of rules that will help you stay calm in a variety of situations.

1. Avoid annoying thoughts by blocking them with positive or justifiable thoughts.

At first glance, this seems complicated, but in fact the mechanism of this rule is simple. Let's remember situations from childhood with the telling of “scary stories”, after which the crack of a broken branch seems like the steps of a monster, and the rustling of leaves is perceived as the whisper of fairy-tale characters. In any ordinary situation you can find mysticism if the brain is tuned to perceive it. This is why a small child is afraid of the dark, perceiving a towel as a snake and a pillow as a monster. His brain is wired to be afraid. The brain of an adult who is tuned to negativity in his own family or at work works in the same way. A harmless joke is perceived as a desire to offend, criticism from superiors is perceived as a negative assessment of abilities, and a simple remark at home is perceived as a complaint. And now your own brain draws conclusions that they don’t respect you, they find fault with you, they don’t trust you, etc. The brain of a pathological jealous person pictures scenes of betrayal, and sometimes one detail is enough to cause an emotional reaction.

At the same time, people around are perplexed, because not one small detail deserves such a violent reaction. It is not clear to them that the brain has been preparing for such a surge of emotions for a long time.

The most important, do not allow a riot of negative annoying thoughts in your head, replacing them with justifications at the stage of formation.

For example, consider a situation where spouses hardly communicate in the evening. The thought “he doesn’t love me” should be replaced by the thought “he is very tired.” The latter does not cause negativity and is not able to consider the continuation of the story. She is finite.
Another example is criticism of superiors. The thought “he thinks I’m stupid” is replaced by the thought “he wants to convey his demands to me so as not to return to this again.”

Third example, a colleague (neighbor) provokes you into a conflict. The thought “it’s time to put her in her place, she doesn’t respect me” needs to be replaced with the thought “she understands my superiority and wants to lower my authority in the eyes of others through this conflict.”

There are many similar examples that can be given, the main thing is to be able to make substitutions in time, preventing the development of negative thoughts. Feel like a little child when, when you touch something soft, you can imagine a kitten, or you can imagine a wolf. The touch is one, but the thoughts are different, and the reaction will depend on them: fear or smile.

2. Pause before you react.

The heroine of the old black and white film “Theater” adheres to an amazing principle: if you take a break, then hold it until the end. In response to annoying actions, it is very useful to learn to pause.

Firstly, negative thoughts that knock us out of a calm state come very first, while more positive and justifying ones, as a rule, linger. Therefore, you need to give them the opportunity to form and block the negativity.
Secondly, fast nerve connections are not strong enough. To understand your emotional reaction, you need to give it time to establish.
Thirdly, a pause will help the irritating object (person, object) to continue its line of behavior. For example, a strong wind blew your hat away and carried it away. A pause will help you understand the wind speed, its direction and determine the method of action. Reacting quickly can cause you to run in the wrong direction or step on your headgear.

Another example, a person says a lot of negative words towards you. A quick answer will cause a conflict, and a pause will help you listen to his monologue, the end of which could be a declaration of love. In addition, a pause will help you find the right words that can end the quarrel that has started.

You can help maintain a pause with a simple count or some kind of counting rhyme (known only to you). Orthodox people in such situations read prayers, which produces a wonderful psychological effect: it helps to pause and brings them to a logical state of thought.

3. Watch your breath

An emotional reaction is always accompanied by a disruption in the breathing rhythm and an increase in heart rate. In this situation, simple breathing control will help you stay calm. Don't allow yourself to hold your breath or breathe short and fast. Taking a deep breath and exhaling will help saturate the brain with oxygen and force it to work correctly, without obeying the first reactions.
So, everything is quite simple. The main thing is that these rules become the norm for you. And then the world around will not seem terrible. Life is much more interesting if you live in harmony with others and yourself.

Life is surprisingly diverse and full, unfortunately, of not only positive but also negative events. Everyone wants to remain calm in any situation, but not everyone succeeds.

The task should be clarified from the very beginning. Do you want to remain calm in any situation? Most likely, only in negative(anxious, angry, annoying, frightening, etc.) situations? It is unlikely, for example, that a girl, upon hearing a marriage proposal, will think: “No joy! Calm, just calm!” In pleasant and positive situations, on the contrary, you want to be as restless as possible. People jump up to the ceiling with happiness and shout “Hurray!” out loud.

Perhaps the task is even narrower. Not “Stay calm in any negative situation”, but “Learn not to cry” / “Learn not to be offended” / “Learn to control anger” and so on, depending on what specific problem concerns you.

The more exactly If you manage to determine the task, the goal, the direction of work on yourself, the better.

You need to understand that to achieve a state where absolutely nothing disturbs or bothers you is tantamount to depriving yourself everyone emotions, both good and bad.

An emotionless person cannot, while maintaining Olympic calm in a stressful situation, immediately become expressive, emotional and sensitive in a positive one. Becoming completely serene is a super task that only Buddhist monks strive for.

No need strive for absolute calm in any situation. The calmness that one should strive for is, in fact, a skill wisely, with understanding and acceptance look at unpleasant things happening around and negative emotions arising in the soul.

Calmness as a skill and character trait

Calmness differs from unemotionality in that the person who feels it feels an exciting emotion, is aware of it, but knows how to control it; he is not insensitive, but balanced.

The ability to remain calm in an exciting situation is related to the ability to control emotions. In many ways, these two skills overlap. Read the article about how to control your emotions. There you will also find additional practical recommendations on how to remain calm.

For some people, due to their character and temperament, it is easier to remain dead, for others it is more difficult. The ability to remain calm also depends on the most exciting situation, its scale, duration, repetition and complexity.

Calm requires experience, mental strength and wisdom, which is why the older a person is, the calmer he is. Calmness comes naturally with age, but it can be learned, and at any age.

Learning to be calm means secure yourself in advance from various future stresses and anxieties. Prevention is always better than dealing with a problem that has already arisen. But difficulties are different, so there is a 100% guarantee that having learned to calm down, you will be able to cope with any anxiety, No.

What is certain is that what more often and better will be able to remain calm in a stressful situation, the more less Such situations will worry!

Mastering any skill is education, involving repetition of actions, training and consolidation of acquired knowledge in practice. Once you develop a skill, it becomes a habit, and the habit will affect your character. In this way you can come to peace as character trait.

What kind of knowledge is this, the practical application of which will help you remain calm in any problematic situation?

Three rules of calm

In order not to be nervous and remain calm in an exciting situation, psychologists recommend remembering rules:

The rule for the “Stop!” signal. It is recommended to come up with a certain signal for yourself that will become a lever for switching to the “calm” mode. It would be nice to remember in what situations it was possible to quickly regain calm. What kind of situation is this and what (what object, action) is it associated with?

For many people, the signal to bring themselves into a balanced state is phone ring.

Example. The wife screams at her husband and breaks the dishes, but suddenly her phone rings and not someone wants to talk to her, but the boss. Will the woman be able to calm down? In a split second! She will not just calm down, but will completely change, become friendly and sweet!

In moments when anxiety overcomes, a sobering bell should “ring” in your head and return you to sanity. Such a signal can be any image: a light switch, a light bulb, a knock on the door, an alarm clock, a fan turning on, falling snow - anything that is associated with the need to calm down or calmness.

Rule "Don't rush"! He who understands life is in no hurry. Haste reduces the quality of the actions performed, but their quantity does not increase (it just seems!), but the most important thing is that hasty body movements overstimulate the brain, which is expressed as excitement, fuss, panic, anxiety, aggressiveness.

To avoid feeling rushed and anxious in a stressful situation, you need to move, take actions and talk in medium or slow pace. No running or screaming!

It is better to change the habit of speaking loudly and very quickly to calm and measured speech half a tone quieter. You need to speak in such a way that your own ears enjoy it.

To avoid rushing anywhere, you need everything in advance to plan and count. In an extraordinary situation, you need to act quickly, but not hastily, to believe that everything will be done in time, and not worry: “I won’t make it in time!” Panic never leads to a positive result.

In the end, if you happen to be late somewhere or don’t have time to do something, then it was necessary and it’s for the best; This means that in the subconscious there was an attitude “Something unpleasant is waiting there” and in fact I didn’t really want to show up on time or make it in time!

Everything will be done in time! Everything always happens on time!

The Rule of Analyze, Don't Dramatize! Many people, overwhelmed by negative emotions, begin to aggravate the situation: “It’s always like this!”, “You’re all like that!”, “Nobody loves me!” - this is all excessive exaggeration.

You won't be able to stay calm if you don't start analysis situation, but start complaining, being indignant, objecting, crying, and so on.

Logical analysis switches the brain into “thinking” mode, from emotions to reason. Instead of immediately calling your girlfriend and complaining about your fate, it is better to think about the situation alone.

Talking through a problem is good only once, everything else is turning a fly into an elephant.

What happened happened, it doesn't matter anymore. It's important what to do now how to solve the issue. Excitement and violent emotions will definitely not solve the problem; you need to think about how to eliminate the consequences and prevent a recurrence of a similar situation.

If you have to worry not because of a specific situation, but because of the situation in general(in the family, at work, in the country) helps to calm down question“Does this excitement make my life better and more joyful? Will something change for the better because I worry?”

It is impossible and unnecessary to control everything and influence everything! Worry in a situation where nothing can be changed must be replaced by an effort of will with faith in the best and a revision of views on the problem.

Calm Techniques

Without thorough work on yourself, it is difficult to learn to remain calm in difficult situations, but there are auxiliary techniques and tools that can significantly facilitate the process of self-control and managing emotions.

Helps you calm down:

Correct breathing. This is smooth, deep, diaphragmatic breathing, when when you inhale through the nose, the stomach rises, and when you exhale, it retracts.

2.Aromatherapy. Scented candles, aroma lamps, oils - there are many ways to soothe your inflamed mind with scent. A simple example: most people associate the smell of tangerines with the holidays; it will certainly help you relax.

Reading. While reading, the brain works in a special, calming frequency mode, a person is distracted from the world around him and immersed in a world of fantasy.
Music. Everyone has their own special compositions that can calm and lift your spirits. There are also melodies specially created for relaxation, relaxation, sleep, and quiet work (they can be easily found on the Internet).
Physical exercise. A great way for those who like to dwell on thoughts about a problem. When muscles work, a lot of energy is released, including negative energy. All the anxiety that accumulates in the body is released as a result of alternating tension and relaxation of the muscles. You don’t have to play sports; simple cleaning of the house is enough to get a good physical workout.
Water. A shower or bath in the morning and evening, and drinking clean water throughout the day will help. Water improves metabolism, makes the brain work more actively, and harmonizes the nervous system.
Hobby activity. This is a way to compensate for negative experiences with positive ones and distract yourself.
Comfort. Anything can irritate you: tight shoes, hot clothes, an uncomfortable chair, someone screaming, music, unpleasant odors, and so on. People sometimes don't even notice these irritants or ignore them, and in the meantime, they continue to undermine the nervous system. By improving conditions as much as possible, you can calm your nerves. Whenever possible, you should remove irritants and add calming elements to your atmosphere and environment.
Walks in the open air. Oxygen improves brain function, and moving forward is associated with progress towards success. The ability to go out into the fresh air and walk in the heat of anger has saved more than one friendship, love and work relationship.
Dream. Fatigue is a common cause of anxiety and nervousness, and sleep is the best medicine in this case.

And finally, if it is possible not to get into an exciting situation, it is better to avoid it, at least during those periods when there is a lack of strength for self-control.

Where do you most often lose your calm?

Bustle, conflicts, troubles at work, unforeseen situations and even gloomy weather make you feel stressed. Nervousness has a bad effect on a person’s health and psyche. This also affects relationships with loved ones. Therefore, it is important for everyone to learn to remain calm.

Why are we nervous?

The nervous system helps a person to adequately interact with the outside world. In response to what is happening, we react with different emotions. Thanks to the nervous system, everyone knows that touching a hot iron will cause pain, and a relaxing massage will cause pleasant sensations.

However, the reaction occurs not only to physical impact. The psychological environment is important for a person’s emotional state. The body reacts to unpleasant and unexpected situations with tension, like an animal trying to hide from a predator.

The human psyche is designed in such a way that negative experiences are remembered more vividly than positive ones. For children and adolescents, this experience is not yet as rich. In addition, frequent changes of events help to experience stress vividly at a young age, but quickly forget about it.

In adults, negative experiences force them to experience worries even where there is no reason for this. Due to uncertainty, mistakes and lack of support, a person is overcome by the fear of “what if...”. According to psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, people are often nervous because of far-fetched circumstances, and not because of what happened. This makes it difficult to relax and be here and now.

Sources of nervous tension are external factors:

Rich information environment. A person receives a lot of information from different sources. Not everything will be important and useful. Excessive saturation with information, especially negative information, causes tension. Excessive workload associated with simultaneous performance of several tasks also has an adverse effect.
Decreased level of physical activity. Every decade, living conditions are improving, thanks to scientific and technological progress. People no longer need to make efforts to survive as in ancient times. Changing living conditions did not reduce stress factors. If earlier the level of physical activity and nervous tension necessary for survival were in equal proportions, now, due to the lack of the need to fight for life, emotional experiences began to be felt more acutely.
Overpopulation in cities. Constant contact with people is not always pleasant. It’s unlikely that anyone likes standing in lines, traffic jams, or riding in crowded transport - and this is part of life in big cities.
Fast pace of life, bustle and noise. A restless environment becomes a source of tension. Everyone needs to rest in silence.
Bad ecology. Polluted air slows down gas exchange processes and reduces brain performance.

How to stay calm in any situation

It is impossible to avoid stressful situations. However, there are several effective ways to help you learn to maintain peace of mind.

Make life easier

If stress has become your constant companion, the first thing you should do is reconsider your attitude towards life.

Get rid of unnecessary things:

throw unnecessary things out of the house;
keep a diary;
stop communicating with “toxic” people;
stop doing any tasks that do not bring benefit and pleasure.

Think about whether you have unfinished business or plans, such as learning a foreign language or enrolling in courses. If there are, and you don’t plan to do them in the near future, give them up for a while until you feel the desire to do it again. And don’t take on new things without completing the current ones. This unloading of “junk” will streamline your life and relieve unnecessary stress, and will also be the first step towards developing stress resistance.

Face to face with stress

To combat stress, understand what situations in your life create stress. In a calm environment, sit down and write down everything that causes discomfort, such as unfinished tasks, difficult relationships or work. Analyze the situation. Get rid of what you can. Otherwise, find the positives - this will become a new point of growth for your personality.

The morning is wiser than the evening

Sleep is an important factor in the fight against stress. Situations that seemed unsolvable in the evening will seem like nothing in the morning. Sleep must be of high quality. Prepare for bed in advance: do not use electronic devices for half an hour, take a hot shower or bath. A relaxing massage, meditation and light stretching will not hurt.

Be sure to get enough sleep. Chronic lack of sleep has a detrimental effect not only on appearance, but also on psychological state. If possible, take a short nap during the day - this will restore your strength.

Relax list

Think about what helps you relax and have fun. Make a list. It could be walking, meeting friends, swimming or eating cake - everyone has their own ways of relaxing. Refer to the list when you feel stressed. Exercise, yoga and drawing help combat stress.

Good mood

The expression “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” is relevant here. Nervousness, irritation and anger are what a person splashes out on others when under stress. It is important to work with your mood, attitude to the situation and thoughts. Learn to find positive moments even in the most unpleasant situations. Think about who and how you could help. Perhaps someone close to you needs your support. By giving positivity and love to someone, we feel needed. This helps you to be more confident.

What to do if the situation gets out of control

The methods described above are tips on how to get rid of unnecessary stress in life. Few people know what to do if stress takes them by surprise. There are several ways to help you stay calm in any situation:

Don't dramatize. We tend to think things through and imagine things worse than they are – this comes from excitement or fear of something unexpected. Soberly assess what is happening and act within the confines of the situation. Don't make things up that don't actually exist.
Imagine that the problem is a tangled knot. The greater the tension, the tighter the knot is tightened. The association will help you relax and start thinking soberly.
Breath control. With nervous tension, breathing becomes difficult and rapid. A slow, calm rhythm of inhalation and exhalation will help you relax. Take a deep breath to the count of 4, hold your breath a little and exhale.
Speech and gesture control. Don't show others that you are stressed. Try to move and speak calmly and smoothly - this will help calm you down. Don't create unnecessary fuss around.
Get rid of external irritants. Try to isolate yourself from the surrounding noise so you can think about the situation and make an informed decision.

Will a psychologist help?

Often, if psychological stress is associated with overload and fuss, a person himself is able to get rid of stress by analyzing the situation and getting rid of ballast.

For some, irritation, tension and stress become a normal daily condition. This may hide serious problems: self-doubt, fears or conflicting relationships with loved ones. Not everyone can deal with these problems on their own. In this case, you should not wait until a nervous breakdown occurs. It is better to seek help from a psychologist who will help you find a way out of the situation.

In all eastern martial arts schools, such as Tai Chi Tsuan, Wing Chun, Qigong, a person’s ability to maintain “calm mind” and be relaxed was considered the most important criterion for the harmonious development of spirit and body. According to psychologists and psychotherapists from all over the world, if a person does not learn to control his emotions and is irritable, then he will not be able to effectively solve the tasks assigned to him, since the productivity of logical thinking and the state of physical health largely depend on the ability to be calm. How to learn to be calm in our turbulent times?

The ability to remain calm will solve the problem of any type of stress and depression, while increasing mental and physical capabilities. Where you need to start to learn to relax and not be nervous, as well as what types of effective practices exist for self-control are the main issues that will be discussed in this article.

Harm from stress

The human mind and body are closely connected. During stress, the brain commands the nervous system to take a “fighting position”; in this mode, the body begins to produce more resources, which leads to rapid exhaustion. A person who is very nervous quickly loses strength, because of this his mental and physical capabilities weaken. The nervous system begins to gradually deplete, diseases appear, uncontrollable outbreaks of aggression, they destroy life in all directions.

Clear mind = control and calm

Purity of mind determines your calmness, control of your reactions and behavior. And by controlling yourself, you control the situation as a whole. The logical question here would be “but what clogs our mind”? And it is clogged by numerous factors that stretch all the way back to childhood and accumulate like a snowball. Starting from childhood fears (for example, many in adulthood are afraid of the dark) to complexes, limiting attitudes, negative thinking and other mental crap that make our lives miserable and unhappy.

The beauty of the system is that it shifts the main work to the subconscious, and you only have to read the ready-made instructions. The work looks something like this: you read the instructions and go about your business, while the subconscious mind solves problems in the background. The ease of use and convenience is off the charts. And so far no psychotechnics can match the stability and quality of results.

Calmness and control come as you free yourself from metal trash. And, believe me, the average person has an amazing amount of it.

Alpha rhythm and its benefits

The body and brain are closely connected. The fact that the brain emits biowaves of different frequencies became known in 1928, when the doctor Berger placed two electrodes on his head and connected them to an electrical measuring device. One of the effective and healthy biorhythms for the development of a calm life is the “alpha” frequency.

The frequency of the alpha rhythm ranges from 8 to 14 Hz. This rhythm refers to the borderline state between wakefulness and sleep. At this frequency, the work of the left and right hemispheres is harmonized. The outside world begins to change places with the inside. Thanks to such harmony, a person begins to automatically relax, while mental and physical regeneration occurs. Scientists say that the alpha rhythm is one of the most useful and restorative states of the human body, which helps fight any type of stress and remain calm in any situation.

Relaxation method by Jose Silva

A significant contribution to the development of the practice of transitioning to the alpha rhythm was made by the famous Spanish parapsychologist José Silva. The goal of his practice is to train people to consciously enter the alpha range, regardless of the situation, in order to be mentally and physically healthy. This will also lead to rapid recovery of the body and increased mental abilities.
When practicing entering the alpha frequency - learning to relax, it is divided into the following stages:

The person should be dressed in comfortable clothes. Then take a comfortable sitting or lying position, preferably in a quiet environment. Before the procedure, you can take a relaxing bath.
Close your eyes and take several deep breaths, exhalation and inhalation should be the same in time and not sharp. If you breathe too quickly, the body will switch to a higher rhythm and the person will begin to get nervous.
Mentally imagine the number 50, you can color it with a certain color. Start a slow countdown in the opposite direction, with each number counted, give yourself a mental setting for deeper mental relaxation.
After the countdown reaches 40, you must simultaneously count the numbers and relax your body. You need to start from the scalp and end with your toes. You need to try to relax not only the external part of the body, but also the internal, focusing on the internal organs.
After the countdown has reached number 1, you need to imagine any place on the planet where a person most wants to be. From this moment on, the person falls into a state of trance, the external sounds of the world are muffled, and he stops reacting to them.
Start a new countdown from 10 to 1, after setting yourself up for an even deeper dive. After the countdown has ended, a phase begins when the subconscious is most receptive to commands.

You can use this state to program a feeling of calm in various life situations, or to build new settings for a specific situation in life. You can program the subconscious for various moments when a person begins to get nervous. How to learn to be calm in our turbulent times?

When a person counts in an ascending line, his body will begin to activate and wake up. Before this, you need to give yourself a mental attitude that when the counting is over, the person will feel healthy, filled with strength and energy. It is also necessary to make a snap of the fingers, which, with long practice, will replace mental arithmetic. This finger snap should be done when a person begins to get nervous in any situation.

With each practice, the ability to relax all parts of the body will be more effective, and the state of immersion will be deeper. When a person learns to enter the “alpha” state without self-hypnosis, he will become mentally strong and stop getting nervous over trifles.

Meditation

This practice came from ancient India, then practiced in the east. In the famous and popular worldwide Chinese gymnastics Tai Chi Chuan, the ability to be calm is a basic skill in the practice of rejuvenation. Calmness is achieved through a special mental state – meditation. Its task is to turn off the disorder of thoughts through internal concentration on some object or sensation and try not to react to the outside world. It is important to control your breathing. The most effective pose for meditation is considered to be the “lotus position”.

Meditation can be done in any environment. Some people use special music to help them achieve the desired state of practice. The most popular music is considered to be Indian, as well as “Schumann frequency”. The advantage of music is that it allows you not to react to the noises of the outside world.

The practice of Taoism as an effective remedy against depression

In Taoism, it is believed that each human organ has its own thinking, and if this organ is filled with negative energy, this will lead to illness and stress. Practice believes that irritation and mental breakdowns are a disease of a certain organ, so it needs to be transformed into positive energy, this should be done using the following techniques:

Practice the inner smile

It is considered the simplest and most effective in Taoism. During times of stress, it is necessary to feel from which organ the cold is coming. After this, begin to smile internally at him until he feels warmth and tingling. In the philosophy of this school, it is believed that the feeling of warmth means the concentration of vital energy. If the negative energy of the organ is completely transformed into positive, then the person will stop being nervous.

Foot massage

This type of massage is used as a medicine that Chinese doctors prescribe to their sick patients. It involves stroking the center of the foot with the edge of your hand. This procedure cleanses and rejuvenates internal organs and makes a person calm.

How does running affect your calmness?

Running is good for reducing stress and nervousness. Due to the fact that when jogging, hormones “endorphins” are injected into a person’s brain, he becomes calm and stops being nervous, regardless of the level of stress. Running also has a positive effect on the activity of the central nervous system.

Psychotherapeutic techniques

In order to solve the problem of fear of the unknown, which makes a person nervous, you need to try to switch to the surrounding reality. This technique is also called “being in the moment” and is recommended by all psychology books.

Prevention of nervous conditions

To prevent stress conditions, it is necessary to:

run at least 30 minutes a day
drink at least 3 liters of water per day
sleep at least 8 hours a day
walk in the park 2-3 times a week
Eliminate negative people from your life
switch your brain to positive thoughts

In conclusion

How nervous a person is will determine his physical and mental state, which may affect his health in the future. Therefore, if you remain calm in any situation and react correctly to it, then the problems as such will disappear on their own.

Perhaps we should give up stress, what do you think? Too many of them. Let's try to learn how to remain calm in all situations that objectively require it?

Tip #1: Praise yourself often

You need to praise yourself deservedly, otherwise it will only do harm. But you shouldn’t scold yourself at all, especially the way most insecure people do. Leave punishments until the worst times! Until then (and it may never come), praise yourself for every little thing if you consider it worthy of encouragement.

Tip #2: Try not to pay attention to other people's anger

Don't take on other people's negative emotions. Are yours not enough for you? If someone is annoyed with you, angry, then do not take it to heart, even if the anger at you is justified. There is no need to “chew” memories of an unpleasant conversation all day long - just leave these thoughts alone and move on with your life, trying to avoid conflict situations. It's not difficult at all!

Tip #3: Don’t prove you’re right if you don’t have to.

You should not prove to your interlocutor with foam at the mouth that you are right and he is wrong. Of course, if the conversation is not constructive and you yourself understand the futility of your argument. Let everyone have their own opinion. Along with your opinion, your nerves and good mood will remain with you.

Before you get annoyed with someone, try to understand that person. Yes, for this you need to take a short break and force yourself to think, but the result is worth it! This simple rule will allow you to avoid many conflict situations and unnecessary nervous tension.

Think through possible scenarios for the development of events in a given situation and draw up a scenario for your actions. Of course, you won’t be able to consider all the alternatives, but with due diligence, this method can greatly help you stick to your desired strategy in life. Think about conversations with different people, your responses to comments, criticism, and praise from other people. Make your reactions beautiful, the most pleasant to you.

The more positive your initial attitude towards this or that person is, the less likely it is that a conflict will arise and, accordingly, anger or irritation on your part. In this world, everything is not so bad as to be a priori opposed to everyone!

Believe me, no one, not even your closest people, is obliged to understand you perfectly and, especially, telepathically. If you get annoyed by things like this (maybe you're just now noticing it, right?), then you just need to get better at articulating the thoughts you want to convey to the listener. There will be an order of magnitude more understanding, and an order of magnitude less unnecessary and unfounded irritation.

Give it a try, this tip might be more than helpful!

Tip #8: Find someone who will support you

No, we are not suggesting that you use someone as a “comforter.” Here we need something completely different! We need a person who, firstly, will support your desire to change, become calmer, react more soberly to what is happening, and who; secondly, it can help you rationalize a particular event that caused you stress. This won't cause much trouble for one of your friends, but it will help you.

... everything may turn out exactly as you planned, but life will still not be ideal. Excessive idealization leads to frustration, and this is absolutely obvious and logical. Make your goals realistic, and you will get much more satisfaction from achieving them than from fruitlessly striving for the unattainable.

No, this doesn't mean you need to stop dreaming. Dreams have nothing to do with what we are talking about now. We are talking specifically about the goals that you set for yourself: for today or for the rest of your life, it doesn’t matter. They should not be adjusted to fit an impeccable image, thereby delaying the day of their accomplishment.

The main point of this advice is not to “teach you how to live” and simply tell you how useful it is to admit your own mistakes. Everything is much more prosaic! If you understand with the rational part of your consciousness that you have made a mistake, but emotionally cannot accept it, it puts pressure on you, prevents you from living freely, and causes irritation in you. You can project anger at yourself onto others... What kind of peace can we talk about?

That’s exactly why, follow this pathetic advice - admit your mistakes.

The main essence of this plan is the preliminary “playing out” of various life situations. At the same time, you give them your own order, “program” yourself for it. By the way, this advice is useful not only for the ability to remain calm, but also for organizing your own day.

Tip #12: Revisit the past with new thoughts

Sometimes you can “replay” some episodes from your life again. We are talking about those moments that in the past turned out to be stressful for you, caused an unpleasant reaction for you, or you reacted in those situations differently than you would like.

Go back to the right moment and imagine how events would unfold if they happened now. Imagine how, for example, you calmly and wittily respond to someone’s attack without losing your dignity, or find yourself in the center of attention of an admiring company after a sharp and sarcastic response-joke to a remark that offended you. This is not only pleasant, but also beneficial!

You should be surrounded by people who do not have problems controlling their emotions (at least problems similar to yours). No, no, in no case do you need to completely change your social circle. Although, you didn't intend to do this, right? What is required of you is somewhat different: among the people with whom you constantly communicate, there must be calm people who have “unshakable” self-confidence and are able to convey this confidence to you.

Try to evaluate all your emotions according to their relevance and adequacy. Have you ever noticed that you get irritated at being irritated? Do you think this is exactly what you need?

Tip #15: Don't react to attacks immediately when you're irritated.

Always give yourself a short pause from the moment you are exposed to a stimulus to your reaction to it. To put it simply, think first and speak later. This way you can avoid a good half of all the stress associated with communication.

Tip #16: Breathe deeply, correctly and in a timely manner

Just 10 seconds of deep breathing allows a person to completely calm down if their stress is caused by an excessive, unnecessary reaction. Again, you just need to pause until you react to something. If you feel yourself becoming very angry and losing your temper, stop and begin to calmly breathe deeply. You will calm down, and your brain will be saturated with oxygen, which will allow you to soberly assess the situation.

Tip #17: Find the truth in criticism directed at you

...or at least try to do so. It is far from a fact, of course, that you will find this truth there, but in our case it is better to play it safe and not immediately perceive any criticism as an attempt to insult you. It is quite possible that criticism addressed to you is constructive and will only benefit you.

Tip #18: Look for something positive in everything that happens

This advice is especially good for those who are just beginning to learn calmness (yes, calmness needs to be learned, and that’s what we are doing now!) and cannot yet force themselves to react with a delay and strictly control their own feelings. The beauty of this method is that it can be implemented after the event of interest to us, at any time. All you need is to rethink what happened in a new way and try to find positive aspects in it. Now you have found the advantages you were looking for... But can something good irritate us?

...listen to audiobooks, watch movies. The main thing is that they calm you down, put you in a positive mood, teach you to see something pleasant in life and help you cope with anger or irritation that comes out of nowhere.

Tip #20: Remember that you can't and shouldn't please everyone.

It’s understandable that you can’t please everyone, so it’s worth emphasizing the second point: you don’t have to please everyone! Moreover, no one demands this from you. If you disappoint someone, you disappoint yourself. Why do you need this? Why should you feel downright unpleasant emotions just because you didn't live up to someone's idealized expectations?

You need to learn to be a bystander sometimes. First of all, it's interesting. Secondly, it will help you understand people better, give you time to think about your own reaction, and allow you to correctly assess the current situation.

This is one of the most difficult, but also the most effective ways to become calmer and get rid of unpleasant emotions. There are a huge variety of meditation techniques, and some of them are not as difficult to master as they might seem at first glance. In any case, you should look for the information you need and give it a try. It definitely won’t get any worse; in response to your efforts, you can gain the ability to control your emotions and mood the way you want.

Tip #23: Treat your troubles like training.

A universal recipe for calm. Yes, it is quite difficult to develop such an attitude towards life, but this does not mean at all that you should not try.

Against! This, along with meditation, is the most successful and effective way to cope with stress and remain calm in any situation.
There is no single technique on how to learn to deal with troubles in this particular way, so we give you the opportunity to find your own way.

Moreover, the effect in this situation will definitely be the best.

The article was prepared by a practicing neuropathologist Daria Pavlovna Agantseva