How to make your lies more believable. How to learn to lie. Lessons in lying. What about an honest person?

Always think through your lies in advance. Try to provide answers to all possible questions and work out the details of your story. Think about what facts can serve as evidence of the truth of your statements. A lie invented in advance always looks more plausible and there will be less chance of failure. Just in case of failure, you can come up with a backup option that is closer to the truth.

Try to sincerely believe in what you came up with. So that no one would think that they are being deceived. Imagine yourself as an actor who must perfectly play his role, get used to it, become one with it.

Remember that under existing legislation, perjury, slander and slander entail measures up to and including criminal liability.

If possible, study in advance who you will be deceiving. Try to understand the psychology of the “victim”, find an individual approach to it. People you don’t know well tend to conduct conversations with distrust and wariness. It is more difficult to deceive them than friends and relatives. In this case, start telling lies in small portions, carefully watching the interlocutor. It is important not to overdo it: alternate false and true facts.

Don't let yourself be caught

The easiest way to lie is over the phone or in person. It is more difficult over the Internet or in correspondence, since in these cases the addressee can always save letters or messages.

Always remember what you lie in detail. This is a difficult but necessary condition for every successful liar. Be consistent by deceiving many people or committing a series of deceptions. You can even write down all the facts of deception. And when you come up with your next lie, don’t forget that deceived people can exchange information with each other. To prevent them from discovering the deception, the information they have must be consistent and not have conflicting details.

Gestures and facial expressions

Lie in a firm, confident and loud voice. Train him ahead of time too. Don’t stutter, don’t correct yourself, don’t get confused - speak as it’s written, without jabbering. If you smile at your interlocutor during a conversation, try to make the smile look correct, that is, it is natural and sincere.

As children, we were all taught that lying is wrong, but who can argue? However, there are situations in life when you just have to lie a little - and, as they say, everyone is immediately happy. The portal has already written about why, all that remains is to figure out how to avoid exposure. The correspondent, together with family psychologist Olga Sharandikova, compiled several simple rules for the ideal lie. Use only for good!

Rule #1: Believe your lies.

The best way to lie plausibly is to believe in the truth of your words.

You should carefully prepare for a conversation, even the shortest one, in which you want to be disingenuous. It does not take a lot of time. Imagine in your imagination all the events, already in a distorted form, several times in the smallest details, feel the fiction. It’s the nuances that are important, since mentioning them during a conversation will make your interlocutor trust you like nothing else. In general, become an actor and play your role brilliantly!

Rule #2: Lie by half.

This rule will help you out if someone suddenly finds out the truth about you that you tried to hide. For example, if you go with a friend to dinner at a specific restaurant, say that you had dinner there. If you do not want to talk about the place in advance, in order to avoid unplanned meetings, do not forget to communicate this truth afterwards. If you are traveling with a friend not on a business trip abroad, but to relax for a couple of days outside the city, be sure to warn everyone that you are traveling with Nikolai, Yuri, etc. If you met your ex-lover by chance and went into a cafe to sit and talk - to avoid an attack of jealousy, tell your wife that you met your ex and her husband and went to the nearest cafe for just ten minutes, where all your neighbors and friends saw you. In the event of a scandal, it will always be possible to retort - they say that there was no deception, I said that I would be there/with that, it was someone else who misspoke, noticed me when they approached me, etc.

Rule No. 3. Don’t give in to your emotions and don’t get nervous.

When lying, always try to be as natural as possible and not violate your typical habits. You should not run your eyes all over the person or, on the contrary, look closely at him without taking your eyes off. Also, you should not make meaningless nervous movements with your hands near your face and especially near your mouth. No need to fiddle with your hair, the end of a napkin, tear off the label from a bottle standing on the table and wring your fingers. Calm down, try to relax and begin your fascinating story. If you always wiggle your leg a little during conversations or tend to look out the window while talking to someone, continue doing so. Talk in your usual manner and “press for pity” a little: “understand me,” “imagine how tired I am,” etc. But most importantly, be yourself and remember rule #1.

Rule #4: Describe a real person

Choose from your old acquaintances with whom you hardly communicate, a man or a woman, and always describe their appearance. This will help avoid many incidents. By always mentioning the same person in a conversation, you confirm a hundred times that this is not a fictional character with whom you supposedly see each other while you are actually watching football with friends in a bar around the corner, but a real new employee of yours, whom you need in Introduce yourself to the company's affairs every day for two weeks, so you stay late at work.

Rule No. 5. Do not deceive very close people

You should try to lie as little as possible to those people with whom you communicate most. Firstly, we love and respect our loved ones and relatives, so it is still not good to deceive them, based on moral considerations. And secondly, the more often we communicate with a person, the more mutual acquaintances we have, the greater the chance of letting it slip, “getting confused in the testimony” and giving ourselves away.

Rule No. 6. Never confess.

Until someone grabs your hand, never admit anything. Stand your ground and that’s it, it’s true, how could it be otherwise? There can be no options. Any photo/video evidence can always be refuted. Even if the discussions drag on for long hours and days, don’t give up. The brain of your interlocutor, maddened by processing the same information, will get tired and, according to the principles of its work, will want to sort everything into pieces, build a logical chain of ordered events based on the available data, and you will, in the end, be acquitted.

By the way, according to statistics from Russian sociologists, 70% of people lie about, 57% - about the price of an expensive purchase in one direction or another, 51% - about love victories, giving compliments - 38%, about the reason for being late - 28%, about the amount of salary - 13% of people.

What do you think, is it sometimes possible to lie or should one always remain crystal honest? How to tactfully tell the truth? Is it even possible to live in the modern world without lies? Let's discuss in the comments.

Natalia Nazarenko

A person who has never spoken a word of a lie in his life is most likely either already dead or has moved to live in an institution for the insane. Journalist Kolya Sulima tells how and to whom you can lie in order to sound convincing.

One night they called me and said that I had to respond to an alarm in the store - this was part of my duties. Tired and in autopilot mode, I replied, “Sorry, I’m not home right now.” At the other end, after a short silence, they retorted: “How do you explain the fact that we are calling you at home?”

Let us not portray blameless angels. We lie so much that none of us remember our first time. Only in particularly vivid episodes, and only in cases where we got caught - successful lies are always erased from memory. Because we ourselves believed in him. In the real world it is impossible to survive without lying. If so, let's analyze how to achieve success in this matter.

Let's start by debunking the myths presented by the film “Seventeen Moments of Spring”. No one will give us, like Stirlitz, the opportunity to spend hours laying out matchstick animals on the table in an attempt to build a plausible version of events. You need to understand that by the time you are ready to lie, you must have a plan of action and a story ready. Citizens from the movie Gestapo could afford to indulge in nagging and marinate the spy so that he had time to create an alibi for himself. All they had at stake was the fate of the Reich, but you are risking your career, family peace or your mother’s health.

1. Develop a legend in advance

Amateurism and negligence are the key to immediate failure. It's easy to lie to children under five. Their RAM will still erase everything completely, and the next day you will get a clean version, fresh from the press. But if you are going to lie to an adult, then do not deny him the ability to critically analyze. Your version of events should be logical and follow from your usual lifestyle and daily routine. If you have never suffered from a love of painting, no one will believe that you cried for two hours before Pukirev’s “Unequal Marriage.”

2. Provide details

The devil is in the details. They make the legend believable. It is the details that are remembered best, and not the last of what was said, here I will again refute Stirlitz. It looks like he was a really bad liar. Lie only about places and events that you can reliably describe - you have been there. But have a sense of proportion - too vivid details arouse suspicion. One or two anchors, served casually like an ace out of the hole, no colorful stories or gypsies with bears.

3. Involve a minimum of third parties

Turning lies into a continuation of “Warriors and Peace” is extremely dangerous. If you have a dubious reputation behind you and your version will be checked, take precautions. First, clearly discuss the course of events with your accomplices. Do you already have convincing details ready? Describe them in detail to your accomplices.

Ideally, the number of witnesses should approach zero. A loyal friend or girlfriend with sufficient IQ, able to remember the date, time and place and present the facts in the correct order. The more people you involve in your plan, the greater the likelihood of failure. Someone will be drunk at the time of interrogation, someone will be driving - and all hell breaks loose.

Women show much more courage and inspiration when it comes to complex designs. I know a girl who involved dozens of people in a system of lying to her husband: she managed to fly to different cities, once even paying for a ticket with her husband’s card. Someone would take her from home “to the bathhouse,” for which she always had a backpack ready: a towel and washcloth on top, shoes and an evening dress underneath, they would come for her, taking their own child for convincing, or her husband himself would take her to friend, but all her routes invariably ended in someone else’s bed. Two years. In the end, of course, there was a divorce, but the network was never revealed.

4. Control your body

Photo: thedandyliar.tumblr.com

In addition to the tongue in your mouth, you also have body language, which often behaves in a completely treacherous manner. For an inexperienced liar, this becomes a problem: in terms of expressiveness, body language is in no way inferior to verbal means and reveals red-handed behavior no worse than fingerprints. Body language is read subconsciously: it’s enough to be tense, avoid looking in the eyes, fold your hands in a protective position - and now they’re starting to drive needles under your nails. And all the damn adrenaline, which causes sweating, intermittent breathing and unnatural movements. Try to lie on the phone first - this way you won’t be seen. If you have to lie in person, do breathing exercises, calm your nerves and act: straight back, open arms, firm gaze. Just don’t try to drink to relieve tension - you’ll tell everything how it happened, and even mention that incident that’s embarrassing to remember.

5. Control your voice

Take a cue from Frank Sinatra when he sings “Strangers in the night.” I am ready to believe his every word: I swear, everything happened like that. Why? And he puts it well! However, it is easier to deceive a man than a woman. For genetic reasons, women are much more sensitive to the nuances of speech and isolate inconsistencies from what they hear. It is this ability that allows them to hear the cry of their baby amid the roar of an electric meat grinder. The highest category of complexity is wives and mothers. During the time you spent together, your speech was recorded in their memory in the form of a certain set of vibrations (don’t delude yourself that women are interested in what you weave every day). Deviations in timbre and tempo are immediately registered and raise suspicion. It’s better to lie to men, so the risk of getting caught is much less. But in all cases, follow simple rules: relax your abdominal muscles, free your breath, breathe evenly. Laugh in the right places, there is nothing more useful for distracting attention than laughter.

6. Believe in everything yourself

A universal and invincible way to lie is to believe yourself that it was so. This is a major league Oscar nomination for Lies. However, only true artists are capable of this. The inspired chatter of these citizens will find a way to any heart: their eyes glow with a restrained brilliance, their voice lulls, their gestures inspire confidence, and now Konstantin Sergeevich wipes away an old tear, saying: “Darling, I believe you.” This requires time and preparation. Rehearse your part in front of the mirror, looking deep into your soul, memorize it from beginning to end and back again, until your legend begins to appear in your dreams.

7. Attack!

Photo: claytonology.weebly.com

Politicians are the creatures that inhabit our planet, genetically predisposed to lies. In addition to natural hypnotic abilities, they usually also master methods of diverting attention. If you fall for a lie, use their know-how. There is no better defense than attack - remind your opponent of an episode from the past when he behaved reprehensibly. It doesn’t matter whether it has anything to do with your lying, it’s important for you to shift the blame from your head to a healthy one. Demagogy and self-confidence are the best helpers here: “How could you lie to me?” - “How could you not love my grandmother? She moved from Shchuchin just to be closer to you!” - and the conversation immediately takes a direction that is favorable to you. The best politicians immediately came up with offensive nicknames for their opponents based on physical and personal characteristics, but I do not recommend this method to you. Especially if you have to lie to your mother or wife.

8. Deny everything

Common sense, logic, even video recordings - everything gives in to the reinforced concrete word “no”. If you lie to your loved ones, the task becomes easier - they are obviously determined to forgive you.

My friend's wife once found a pack of condoms in his bag. She carefully cut each one in half and put the pack back, fastening the clasp. Since then, not one of them has mentioned the incident, but each has drawn appropriate conclusions for themselves.

People can cheat on their spouses on a schedule for years, while the other half will know where and why the first one is going every Saturday - everything, right down to the exact address. And don't make any noise. Only the most consistent of people will seek your final fiasco. If they behave this way, chances are your relationship is in a coma. You will certainly be acquitted, just be patient. The main thing is don’t even try to show weakness and start apologizing!

9. Agree with everything

Paradoxically, this method works no worse than the previous one, especially with men. Without fear of being branded as a sexist, I will note that there is something incredibly attractive about a repentant woman. Either the cultural heritage of Mary Magdalene is to blame, or the “alpha male” valve is triggered, but I want to start forgiving immediately. Even the least of men likes the role of the magnanimous Caesar, looking from the box at the gladiatorial circus.

10. Train your memory

Photo: weblyest.com

As you enter the slippery slope of being a liar, remember that you will have to keep all the details of your essays in mind. A good liar is like a chess player: in cases of multi-move combinations, he keeps all the threads under control, like a spider in a web. Only a complete idiot would take notes, it’s better to admit everything right away, the result is still the same. Laziness of mind is punished by exposure.
A friend of mine had a heavy passion for order; she kept all her vacation photos on her work computer in the “Vacation” folder - both with her husband and with her lover. Convenient and no need to search. Needless to say, her husband once stopped by her office asking her to send a couple of emails?

Lying is akin to high art. It combines acting and math skills, trains mental flexibility, memory and in the long run promotes longevity of the brain. If it were not for the moral and ethical nuances, I would recommend lying in a high school course. Alas, at the moment we are left with crosswords, puzzles and macramé courses.

If you notice an error in the text, select it and press Ctrl+Enter

At school you were taught that lying is wrong. However, it turned out that in real life you simply cannot do without lies. In what situations is it better to lie and how to remain undetected?

11:14 28.08.2014

Think about how often you lie. According to statistics, even a scrupulously honest person is forced to do this about 7-10 times a day! There are many situations in which telling the truth would be tactless, immoral, and even inhumane. That's why we all lie. We assure the child that Santa Claus brought gifts for the Christmas tree, we agree with the authorities so as not to heat up the atmosphere in the team, we pay compliments to the ugly girls... And you can’t live in society without such virtuous lies. It’s no secret that truth-tellers and truth-tellers often turn out to be outcasts. For some reason, they are in no hurry to be invited to fun companies; they suffer from loneliness more often than others. And many families are saved only because spouses do not tell each other the whole truth.

Many-sided and powerful

Psychologists distinguish several types of lies, depending on the purpose for which they are used.

Perhaps the most common type of untruth is silence. After all, it’s easier to leave something unsaid than to invent something. Politicians, diplomats, investigators, and lawyers are good at this type of deception. And of course, unfaithful spouses!

Doctors most often use white lies. When the patient is not informed about a fatal disease or the danger of an upcoming operation. And you yourself, in response to your old grandmother’s question: “How are you?” - you can hardly begin to list all the troubles at work and quarrels with your loved one. On the contrary, in order to take care of her poor health and not worry her again, you will say that everything is wonderful and wonderful with you.

The most harmless lie is a lie for the sake of a catchphrase

About myself, beloved. For example, your friend bought a blouse at the market, but proudly says that distant relatives sent it to her from America. Or she rested in a two-star barn in Turkey, and in great confidence tells you that her rich lover took her to the Emirates. Well, if a man wants to be the king’s godfather, let him be! The main thing is that this does not affect the interests of other people.

A completely different matter is manipulative lies. A serious weapon in the hands of clever scammers who organize street scam lotteries or prize draws. Other tricksters manipulate in order to discredit you in front of others, to quarrel with friends. It’s unlikely that you will calmly react to a statement like: “You know, your friend Natasha told me this about you yesterday...” The main thing is not to fall for their hook.

Subtleties of correct deception

Yes, you encounter lies all the time. Sometimes you have to tell lies yourself - this is an indisputable fact. However, a deceiver must have certain qualities,
including the ability to express thoughts out loud, the gift of persuasion and excellent memory. Try to also take into account the following: your lies should in no way cause harm. Is it possible to learn to deceive truthfully and beautifully? Let's try.

• There must be a good reason for lying

Psychiatrist Charles Ford, author of Lies! Lie! Lies!”, states: “Pathological liars cannot stop. They lie constantly, unnecessarily. They are exposed very often. Experienced deceivers, on the contrary, carefully guard their secret weapons. They will not use it until they understand that the right moment has come and that with the help of deception they can get what they really need.” A person caught in a lie instantly loses his credibility.

• Prepare in advance

When thinking through a legend, stock up on plausible details. For example, when explaining your late arrival home, you are going to say that you were with a friend at the cinema. Be sure to find out in detail about the film, about the beginning and end of the show, and even about the selection and prices in the bar of this cinema. By the way, you can remember how a waiter was rude to you three days ago in some cafe, and vividly describe the scene as if it happened to you today in a cinema bar. The abundance of details, even extraneous ones, will make the listener treat your story with great confidence. Say the prepared lie out loud several times and try to believe it yourself.
By the way, recently there have even been companies that specialize in providing their clients with a reliable alibi (some private detective agencies do this). They are ready to provide you with fake hotel receipts, a ticket to a movie show you didn’t attend, or travel documents for a train you weren’t on.

• Don't allow questions!

You can go the other way, on the contrary - a minimum of details. It has been reliably established that the most convincing liars are people who know how to stop any attempts to question them. Let's take the same situation - you return home later than usual. Are you being interrogated with passion, where did you stay so long after work? Try to play exactly what you are suspected of. State that you had a date with your sixty-five-year-old asthmatic boss, you spent a wonderful romantic evening in the sauna, after which he promised to divorce his wife and proposed marriage to you. It is unlikely that after such a statement, and even uttered with a certain intonation, the jealous person will want to continue questioning.

• Watch your facial expressions and gestures

When you want to catch your child lying, you say: “Look me in the eyes!” After all, it has long been noticed that liars, trying to deceive, look away, cover their mouths with their hands, scratch behind their ears, and rub their noses. That's right. But this only applies to worthless liars. Masters of hoaxes control themselves no worse than famous actors. So practice lying in front of the mirror. Moreover, if you tend to tell something by actively gesturing, then you should not change your manner of communication. Excessive stiffness, like excessive fussiness, can give you away. In the subtle art of deception, facial expressions, intonations and gestures are no less important than in the theater.

• If the secret became clear

Each of us has our own carefully hidden secrets, and when suddenly something comes to the surface, we don’t feel the best. And if you are caught lying and pushed against the wall, what should you do? Deny it? Make excuses? This will hardly sound convincing. There are different ways to get out of a sticky situation. The main thing is not to panic.
So, the first option for the development of events is to silently agree. Under no circumstances indulge in long explanations trying to justify yourself. You can even ask for forgiveness, without specifying why, however.

Or you can try to go on a counter-offensive! Let's consider this case. You spent the money that you and your husband saved for a vacation for six months, buying a stunning outfit for the New Year. Of course, you boasted of a new thing, but its cost was significantly underestimated. You hoped that the vacation was still far away and that in a couple of months you would reimburse the amount. But... he discovered it was missing - and he was furious! Where's the money? Agree, it’s hard to explain to a man that this “rag” can cost so much! Better remember to him all the anniversaries of your wedding when he forgot to congratulate you, or the cost of a stupid piece of hardware for a bumper “for beauty.” After all, everyone knows that the best defense is an attack!

However, it may also happen that the lie you told went off with a bang, but you are tormented by remorse. You are scared to death of possible exposure. The only way out here is to admit it yourself. Yes, it will be unpleasant, but you will maintain your self-esteem. As they say, five minutes of shame - and that’s it, you can forget about fear and move on with your life with a clear conscience.

There are no people who would never lie in their lives. Sometimes everything went like clockwork, but sometimes the deception was discovered. You're not the first - you're not the last! This is an extremely valuable experience from which to learn. After all, the best guide to deception is your own life. But if lies disgust you, it is better to tell the truth when it concerns you, or remain silent when it concerns another person.

Express test

Can you deceive?

Do you want to see if you're a liar? Answer these questions as honestly as possible. If you lie to yourself, then lying to others is a piece of cake for you.

1. Sometimes I think I'm stupid.
2. I think extremely badly about some people.
3. I don't care what others think of me.
4. It happens that you want to hit or insult someone.
5. I have shortcomings.
6. If I can get something for free, I won't refuse the gift.
7. I like attention from the opposite sex.
8. My friends don't suit me in everything.
9. Sometimes I like to listen to rumors and gossip.
10. I want more than I can.

If you answered yes

1-3 times Pretty liar
You strive to embellish yourself and your actions, so it costs you nothing to lie. Try not to overestimate your self-esteem and at least be sincere when alone with yourself.

4-6 times An unwilling liar
Sometimes you go against your conscience, but you don’t like to lie and use this remedy as a last resort when there is no other way out. Correct position!

7-10 times Like a crystal!
You are simply amazingly honest! You think that the bitter truth is better than a sweet lie, and you are even ready to hurt a person with truthful arguments. Consider whether this is always appropriate.

Delicate situations: lie or tell the truth?

Truth and lies are also different. Can be cut true
arguments, or you can soften them with a compliment or friendly advice.

As children, we were taught that we should not lie. Never to anyone. However, life, as often happens, crosses out school lessons and stubbornly pokes us into the fact that you cannot live without lying. And tireless British researchers of everything in the world also add: it turns out that any adult tells a lie about 88 thousand times in his life!

The list of the most common deceptions includes, of course, everyone’s favorite “Good to see you,” “No money, I’m broke now,” and “Thank you, I really really like it.” That is, everyone lies, to everyone, always. But some do it well, making life easier for themselves and pleasing those around them, while others do it not so well, bringing only pain and suffering to everyone around them.

So, how can you learn to cheat easily, beautifully and safely? In this matter, as in any other, there are secrets and unwritten laws.

Little and big lies require equal attention

This is one of the main rules that a future master of lies must learn. Each of your deceptions, regardless of its meaning, you will have to remember forever and build your future behavior based on this. However, some people think that it is enough to remember only the most important deceptions, and little lies do not deserve any attention. This is where inexperienced liars usually end up. Having piled up a whole mountain of untruths, they then forget what, to whom and when they said it.

Therefore, try to remember well every, even the smallest, stroke. And since human memory is not limitless and you definitely won’t be able to remember everything, the main rule follows from this:

Lie as little as possible. This is the only way to achieve verisimilitude.

Use distraction and switching

A true master of deception, like the Spanish matador, draws his sword only at the decisive moment and delivers only one blow. The rest of the time, he skillfully distracts the victim's attention with the help of skillful movements of his red cloak. The art of lying uses similar techniques, and sometimes skillfully switching the interlocutor’s attention to another object or changing the topic of conversation eliminates the need to lie altogether. Think over your line of behavior in advance in such a way that you don’t have to tell a lie at all. Just be careful not to overdo it, because incompetent use of a muleta can cost the matador his life!

Practice

Any business requires practice, and in something as important as deception, you definitely can’t do without it. But since practicing on living people is not very humane, we will practice on ourselves. Stand in front of the mirror and repeat your lie until it looks completely natural. Ideally, you should convince yourself of the veracity of your words.

The perfect lie is the one you were able to believe yourself.

Never make excuses or confess

If you are suspected of lying, then the worst thing you can do is to start inventing more and more lies to justify yourself. If the building is shaking, then it is necessary to escape from it, and not urgently complete new floors. Therefore, respond to all accusations with proud, offended silence or switching to another topic.

As for “voluntary surrender,” this is tantamount to a direct shot in the temple. There are often situations when the truth is equally harmful for both sides and the party accusing you, just like you, despite all the harassment, would not want to hear it. Never give up, even when your back is against the wall. Stand your ground against logic, evidence and common sense.

Don't lie to your loved ones and those who love you

You can think through your line of behavior many moves ahead. You can practice brilliant acting skills in front of the mirror and develop the most believable intonations. You will provide yourself with an alibi, witnesses, a second line of defense and an escape route.

But they still know the truth. This cannot be scientifically explained; we don’t believe in all this “feels in the heart” and “dreams in a dream.” Let's put it another way: a special non-verbal psychophysiological contact is established between some people, thanks to which they unconsciously feel the slightest changes in each other's state. So it's better not to even try. It still won't work.