Psychological characteristics of children 10-11 years old. "Bolsheketskaya secondary school"

We can say that by the age of nine, the child has finally said goodbye to the role of a baby, he has grown and matured. The development of a child at 9 years of age and beyond refers to the teenage period, when personality is actively being formed and physiological changes in the body rapidly occur. The development of a child at the age of 9 is characterized by the fact that he has become not only more balanced, but also responsible, he is well versed in many issues and understands more. The development of an 11-year-old child is characterized by the fact that the teenager actively begins to explain and defend his own point of view, his opinion prevails over the opinions of others and seems to be the only correct one. Also developing, a 12-year-old child “wins” personal space and asserts himself. In order for a child’s development at 10 years old and throughout adolescence to proceed painlessly and correctly, parents should understand the changes occurring in the body and mind of their child and be able to adapt to them in a timely manner.

Physiological development of a teenager

Despite the early development of the modern young generation, the period of puberty is still usually attributed to 10-13 years. The physiological development of a child at 9 years old usually proceeds without any pronounced metamorphoses. But a child of 10-12 years old usually already enters the stage of teenage changes, which affect not only the body, but character and self-awareness. For some children, this period passes painlessly, while others experience a lot of anxiety and difficulties. Since it will not be possible to avoid this “restructuring of the body,” programmed by nature, it is important to be aware of its features. After all, many children cannot understand their condition and what is happening, and therefore at this stage parents should provide help.

• Development of a 10 year old child. A ten-year-old child is just entering adolescence. In girls, physiological changes in the body usually occur earlier and faster than in boys. In most cases, hormonal changes are accompanied by a sharp change in emotions, the emergence of a pronounced interest in the opposite sex, and the active formation of intersexual relationships. With the onset of puberty, the sex hormone enters the bloodstream intensively.
• Development of an 11 year old child. Around the age of 11, girls begin to gain weight, while boys do not yet experience significant changes in weight. Often at this age, the first signs of personal changes appear: the child becomes hot-tempered and moves away from his parents.
• Development of a 12 year old child. The development of secondary sexual characteristics and redistribution of body fat occurs. In boys, the size of the testicles sharply increases, the voice breaks, hair appears in the intimate areas, and nocturnal emissions occur. Girls also develop hair in the intimate area, their breasts grow, and their figure becomes more contoured. The main authority for a child at this age is their peers; teenagers’ interest in learning decreases, and values ​​and hobbies may change. A child can join a youth subculture. This age period is a preparatory stage for social and sexual relations, so parents should discuss topics that concern the teenager and simply talk casually about family, interpersonal and sexual relationships.
• Development of a 13 year old child. During this period, the so-called growth spurt occurs, when the teenager quickly stretches out. Body weight continues to increase, boys can weigh from 38 to 50 kg, and girls 43-52 kg. Boys gain muscle mass, while girls continue to develop a feminine figure.

What can parents do for the proper development of a child of 10 years old and throughout adolescence? Firstly, parents are required to understand and maintain a friendly tone of communication. You need to continue talking with the child, and not lecture, but conduct a dialogue, talking when the child is open to communication. It is important not only to discuss the differences between men and women and discuss the nuances of intergender relations, but also to show the child various aspects of social relations. Feel free to discuss sexual aspects, impulses and attractions with your child, helping him understand himself. If a child does not want to have frank conversations, you can offer him high-quality literature and films on this topic. It is important for parents to understand that during this period the child is actively learning about himself and trying to build new relationships with others; he should be helped to find harmony between his own and the public.

Psychological development of a child 10 years old and 11-13 years old

By the age of ten, the child looks truly matured, and by the age of 12-13, the formation of the child’s personality is almost completely completed. During this period, it is important to maintain the connection between parents and children, since it is at this time that it is the weakest and most fragile, because the child is ready to listen to anyone, just not his parents.

The development of a 10-year-old child is characterized by increased communication skills and independence. The child easily makes acquaintances, feels comfortable in the company of peers, and spends a lot of time with friends. All attempts to reduce the child’s communication will be met with indignation, so prohibitions will not help here. Express your requests and wishes not in the form of an ultimatum, but in the form of friendly advice or a statement of fact.

For the correct psychological development of an 11-year-old child, it is necessary to provide him with a greater degree of freedom. For example, you can send him to a good pioneer camp, where he can relax safely without parental control.

The psychological development of a 12-year-old child is characterized by distance from his parents; the teenager tries to “fence himself out” from others. During this period, it is important to loosen control, but in no case remove it. You should talk to your child using the method of negotiating and reaching compromises.

The development of a 13-year-old child refers to a period of greater psychological stability; the teenager has already formed basic values ​​and views on life, he has his own beliefs and is ready to take into account the opinions of loved ones. Understanding the developmental characteristics of a 13-year-old child, it is important for parents to treat him as an equal, taking into account his opinion and wishes, but still continue to follow the rules established in the family and raise the child.

Probably the most important function of parents is raising children. Different age categories have their own characteristics. What is the best way to educate a 10-year-old boy so that in later life he behaves with dignity and becomes a real man? Naturally, a lot of effort and care should be invested in the education process in order for there to be an effective result.

How to raise a 10 year old boy?

Education begins from the birth of a child. Parents should always remember that their child is an individual. The formation of character occurs from the first steps, and not only character, but also interests and needs. Any age category has its own needs that require constant attention.

The age of ten becomes difficult for a child. At this time, the maturation of sexual processes begins, which affect the functioning of the whole organism. The child may be nervous and aggressive. Self-affirmation helps prevent aggression. Therefore, parents are obliged to make every effort to develop it.

Sport. At this age, children have very increased physical activity. Playing sports will help satisfy her. The boy needs to be enrolled in sports sections where he can prove himself.

Dad. At the age of ten, boys turn more to their dads. They are interested in what they are doing and are trying to help. There is no need to push your son away, but on the contrary, you need to interest him. The boy will follow the example of his father. Therefore, when raising children, it is necessary to adhere to the “golden mean”: not to accept the methods of tyranny and not to be too soft.

It is necessary to raise a 10-year-old boy according to the demonstrative principle and do not forget to involve the child in this process.

Emotions. The child should be taught empathy and respect. Here mothers can show their capabilities. For example, on the way home, ask your child to help carry the bag. Sometimes you can create situations in which the son is obliged to show pity.

Family atmosphere. The relationship between parents has a great influence on the upbringing of children. Children quietly observe what is happening in the family circle. As a result, they form their own relationships with the opposite sex.

Praise. The big disadvantage is that parents praise boys much less than girls. It is believed that he will grow up to be more courageous. But praise stimulates the child to do something new. There is no need to forget about this.

In some situations, parents are required to apologize to their children. It is necessary to justify your actions to the child, not to scold, but to advise what to do in this situation. Approval and support are the main needs of this age.

How to properly raise a 10 year old boy? It will be correct if both father and mother participate in upbringing. Raising children 10 years old requires a lot of endurance and patience. Parents, by any means, should not lose the relationship with the child that has developed before this time.

The age of ten affects the physiological and psychological process of a child. The psychology of raising a 10-year-old boy lies in the perception of oneself as an individual. Many children at this age have low self-esteem. Parents' help is needed here. It lies in daily communication.

Guys of this age strive to be similar to each other. This is a basic psychological contradiction. Boys' affirmation is revealed in their friendships with older children.

The behavior of a 10-year-old child depends on two needs:

• communication. Communication should acquire a non-business character, rather a friendly one;
• self-affirmation. For boys, these are more technical classes.

Each child asserts himself in accordance with the behavior of the environment. For this period, the main thing is successful socialization.

In order for the upbringing of a 10-year-old boy to be correct, it is necessary not only to observe what changes occur in the son’s behavior, but also to take an active part in all processes in every possible way.

Raising children is a responsible and difficult process for both parents and children. A child is a personality that is constantly changing. Learn to adapt to the guys and maintain an atmosphere of kindness.

You can often hear indignant ladies talking about how modern men are irresponsible, lazy and not at all masculine. In many respects, of course, they are right. But it is women who most often raise their sons in such a way that they grow up to be infantile people. How to properly raise a boy so that he becomes a real man who is able to take responsibility for his actions and the people close to him? We will try to answer this difficult question in our article.

Developmental psychology

Education is a complex process that must begin at birth and continue throughout life. A man’s ability to engage in self-development in adulthood and acquire that very masculinity that women so want to see depends on how correct and successful it is in childhood and adolescence.

If it is important for a child to feel the boundless protection and love of his mother in the first years of his life, then As he grows older, the example and authority of his father should occupy an increasingly significant place in the boy’s life.

At the age of 7, the baby begins a new, very important stage of his life - the beginning of growing up. It is this period that will become the base on which he will unconsciously rely throughout his life.

You cannot start raising your son at the age of 10 and expect good results from him. It is pointless. In order to understand how to properly raise a boy of this age, it is necessary to know the characteristics of his psychophysical development in the period from 7 to 11 years.

These difficult years will become indicators of family relationships and will reveal all the upbringing mistakes made earlier.

Special age

Parents begin to reap the first fruits of their upbringing when their son reaches his tenth birthday. It is this age that is characterized by special changes in the physiology and psychology of the child.

In children aged 10 years, a rapid restructuring of the body begins, which is accompanied by the growth of the skeletal system and blood vessels. While the heart muscles do not always keep up with other organs.

The onset of puberty causes severe hormonal changes, which are responsible for the deterioration of memory and attention, and a decrease in intellectual abilities. Moreover, the excitability of the nervous system significantly exceeds the processes of its inhibition, which is expressed in irritability and resentment, harsh judgments and the inability to control one’s emotions.

Raising a 10-year-old boy cannot be successful without taking into account all these physical and mental changes.

Psychological manifestations of age

A 10-year-old child clearly shows changes in family relationships. The boy tries in every possible way to demonstrate his growing up and his own opinion on all issues. This is especially true for relationships with the mother. He begins to be rude and try to prove that he is right.

Emotional and unstable behavior peaks at age eleven. By this age, if the family’s behavior is incorrectly structured, depressive states and self-absorption, aggression and complete refusal to cooperate are possible.

A ten-year-old boy is beginning to be increasingly influenced by his peers. Surrounded by his peers, his behavior changes beyond recognition.

Educational activity is characterized by an unstable nature: restlessness is suddenly replaced by thoughtfulness or excessive zeal.

Despite the outward aggressive desire for independence, during these years boys need support from their families more than ever. Without receiving the approval of loved ones, their anxieties and fears intensify, which leads to even greater isolation and aggressiveness.

Psychologists' studies have proven that 11-year-old boys have the lowest level of self-esteem compared to other age periods.

Team approval

If at the age of 7 for a boy the main motivational moment in life was education, when his worth was assessed based on educational achievements, then by the age of ten the situation begins to change. The boy no longer cares how the teacher evaluates him: his personal significance is formed through his authority among his peers. A fierce competition for leadership begins.

Starting from the age of eight, the child begins to study the boundaries of what is permitted, studying them more and more actively every year. Only boys explore this issue with practical actions that may end in breaking the law. The social development of 8-year-old children is gradually becoming more active.

At this time, it is important for parents to analyze every statement and statement of their son. During conversations, you should unobtrusively ask who the boy is friends with and what he does with his friends. Get ready for the fact that a growing man will no longer share everything at once.

At the same time, you should not reassure yourself that your son is friends only with “decent” guys. These boys also test the limits of their capabilities, experiment and prove their leadership.

In the children's team, a clear distribution of roles begins, and it is based on relationships with peers. As a rule, the position determined by the team at the age of 8 becomes unshakable, and it is quite difficult for a boy to move to “another level.”

Leader, assistant, weakling, scapegoat, nerd - this is an approximate list of basic positions that are most often distributed subconsciously.

Boys who know how to defend their position become leaders and their assistants. And more often
They usually do this with their fists. If for some reason a child cannot stand up for his “honor,” his authority among his peers drops sharply and it will be extremely difficult for him to correct the situation.

When raising children of this age, it is important to take into account the main contradiction: the desire to be the same as everyone else and to stand out clearly among their peers. Boys’ self-affirmation occurs through friendship with older children, whose authority is unshakable for them. That is why at this age there is a great danger of addiction to bad habits and obscene expressions.

Requirements and control

When working with children, it is now very important to regulate demands and their presentation. Let us remember that an adult is no longer an authority, so all demands and requests are perceived as incorrect and unnecessary.

The child begins to determine life values ​​for himself, which can often run counter to parental ideals. He does not yet fully understand their meaning and content, but begins to fiercely defend them, entering into conflicts that seem stupid and senseless to adults.

Moreover, the period of secondary education involves the work of different teachers, each of whom has their own position and requirements. The boy gradually moves into “his territory”, in which there is less and less space for adults.

Self-affirmation is an essential element of growing up. Stubbornness and unwillingness to be under the control of adults increasingly takes the form of conflict. It is now that boys choose those demands that they are ready to obey, since they do not violate their “sovereignty.” The correct position of adults will allow them to make the right choice, because their entire future position in life depends on it.

At the age of eight, the first emotional experiences associated with the opposite sex begin to appear. At the same time, boys do not know how to correctly express their emotions. The task of adults is to guide them in the right direction, explaining that the manifestation of such feelings is natural and necessary.

Under no circumstances should you laugh at a boy’s feelings, especially in the presence of his peers! After all, you can undermine his authority, which will be difficult for him to regain again.

This period is dangerous with experiments. The boys demonstrate their courage, strength and dexterity. Exactly
Therefore, news reports are constantly updated with information about boys taking selfies on the roofs of high-rise buildings or moving trains. Brutal fights, which must be recorded on a mobile phone camera, are another way to prove your courage.

During this period, parents are obliged to know as much as possible about their sons and control their actions as unobtrusively as possible! Otherwise, the demonstration of superiority can end very badly.

The right cooperation

How to raise a 9-year-old boy so that he grows up to be a real man?

First of all, raising a boy during this period should be based on cooperation and trust. Moreover, on the son’s trust in his parents, and not vice versa.

Adults should give the boy the opportunity to realize himself in society, teach him to identify the most effective and correct ways of communication, and correct low self-esteem and shortcomings. Only with the help of parents can personal contradictions be avoided.

If adults do not take an active part in the self-affirmation of their sons, encourage reasonable boundaries of freedom and the ability to defend their position correctly, this is fraught with the following consequences:

• The child becomes aggressive, thus expressing a protest against the rejection of adults;
• Cynicism and manipulation of human weaknesses appear, and most often parents come under fire;
• Hypocrisy and weakness will become a manifestation of self-affirmation through intrigue and adaptation to circumstances;
• The inability to protect oneself from the aggression of stronger ones is expressed in a constant search for patrons. In male society, such boys are usually called “sixes.”

To avoid such abnormal manifestations of development, raising children of this age should help satisfy the two most important needs:

• The need to communicate with peers. It is important to encourage any communication with peers outside of school;
• The need to affirm one's own tastes and preferences. Do not prevent the boy from choosing games, friends or clothes on his own. After all, forming your own opinion and line of behavior is only possible through trial and error.

Remember! It is not the growing sons who should adapt to your value system. It is you, the parents, who must be able to adapt in time and learn to cooperate with your child. The difficult period of growing up does not tolerate authoritarianism; it requires partnership.

• Find the golden mean between severity and affection. Both are vital for growing boys;
• The child should feel that his parents will always come to the rescue and support him in any situation. Help should not consist in punishing the offender, but in clarifying the conflict situation, with its full analysis;
• Give the boy freedom of choice; this is the only way he can grow up to be a man who is aware of the responsibility for his actions;
• Don't criticize, but give hints;
• Don't let your son feel humiliated: don't insult him;
• Love your child and be sure to tell him about this love as often as possible. Regardless of age, a son wants to know that his parents love him not for his achievements, but because he is their son.

Raising a 10-11 year old child is a difficult task. Only those parents who managed to show maximum respect and love for their growing son during this difficult period will be able to cope with it.

The child is entering a difficult period both physically and emotionally. Body changes occur, adult features are formed, metabolism is rebuilt, which leads to emotional instability and vulnerability. Parents need to show a lot of patience and understanding to their children during this period.

Entering the early phase of puberty is easy for the child himself. Changes in the body, some clumsiness and angularity lead to the child experiencing complexes. Hence the tightness, embarrassment, changes in behavior, and even outbursts of anger and aggression. At this age, children move away from their parents and become more and more independent. However, even without admitting it, at 11 years old children still need support, approval and advice from their parents.

At this age, thinking, intellectual abilities, logic and abstract thinking actively develop. Children are quite capable of planning their affairs and calculating their actions, and understand the consequences arising from them. Nowadays, social interaction is important for children; what comes first is not academic success, but the opinion of the child and his abilities from the team and others. Gradually, interest in the opposite sex also appears, although contacts are still more active with children of the same sex.

Features of raising children at 11 years old

Now the child cares about public approval and his hard work is at its peak.

At this age, it is important to instill a love of work and helping others, to develop talents, culinary abilities, and a passion for needlework. In raising a girl, first of all, you need to pay attention to everyday issues - the need for all possible assistance to adults, maintaining order and caring for younger children and animals. Equally important is the upbringing of high moral qualities in a girl. At this age, the time comes to talk about sex education, intimacy and the consequences of rash steps. It is important to become a girl’s friend so that she can trust you with the most delicate and serious secrets.

Boys are somewhat behind girls in development at puberty. Therefore, at this age they can still be passionate about cars and games, while girls are already thinking about love. However, it is important to know how to properly raise a boy of 11 years old in order to instill in him high moral qualities - responsibility, care for loved ones and the weaker, loyalty and honesty. Parents need to know that the basis of education is their own positive example of relationships in the family, between friends and colleagues. Children copy our behavior and attitude towards the world.

Psychology of 11-year-old children

Features of the psychology of children at this age are changes in appearance that coincide with character measurements. Sometimes children themselves cannot understand what is happening to them; aggression and cruelty can arise from self-doubt and internal experiences. In many ways, the psychology of an 11-year-old boy differs from that of a girl, since the timing of their development is not synchronous. During this period, girls experience nervousness, tearfulness and resentment associated with changes in appearance. While boys at this age add fuel to the fire by teasing girls and paying attention to their appearance, sticking offensive nicknames.

At this age, the desire for independence and making adult decisions begins, but you need to understand how independent an 11-year-old boy or a girl his age should be. Children of this age can easily be left alone at home, looking after the younger ones and doing simple housework. In addition to doing their homework independently, communicating on social networks, going for walks, and so on, children must take care of themselves completely - wash and iron their things, prepare simple food for themselves, maintain full body and hair hygiene, and provide first aid for minor injuries or cuts.

Symptoms of crisis in eleven-year-old children

In the period after about 10 years, a special age crisis is formed. It arises due to internal and external changes that form a special tension in the nervous system, which results in changes in behavior and relationships with family and friends. Often, the transitional age for boys at the age of 11 is manifested by problems in learning, disobedience, scandals and quarrels with parents. Girls are not far behind at this age; their behavior also leaves much to be desired; they try to prove their maturity through whims and hysterics. As a result, this leads to tension in relations with parents. You need to go through such a period by treating the child as tactfully and delicately as possible, becoming his friend and winning his trust. Then it will be easier for you to understand what is happening.

If a 10-year-old boy is growing up in a family, parents are extremely interested in the psychology of education. It is not for nothing that this age is considered between childhood and adulthood. The child’s hormonal levels change dramatically or the prerequisites for changes in the physiology and psychology of the teenager are just being discovered. The task of parents is to help their son overcome this difficult time, emphasizing that change is normal, and grow up.

Adolescence is one of the most important, influencing the further development of personality, a critical period in a person’s life. Physiological and psychological changes, contradictory tendencies cause sudden changes in mood, impulsiveness in the child’s behavior, and sometimes inadequacy, an unexpected change of interests.

Adolescence is called the time of the second birth of personality. And this birth is not without pain. Adolescents suffer from misunderstanding on the part of adults, from confusion of feelings, contradictory intentions, interests, and aspirations. Adults suffer: children have become rude, withdrawn, and not frank. The world of a teenager is complex, contradictory, and full of constant change. But he is open to understanding. To be understood is the very first thing teenagers want.

A teenager cannot cope with the consequences of changes occurring in the nervous system, and looks for the cause in his environment - parents and friends. Parents irritate the child with their demands and requests; friends - incomprehensibility, inconsistency. Mental imbalance leads to a lack of stability in relationships with friends and adults. Friendship with “bad” company is also possible. In this case, you should not criticize your son’s friends or forbid him to communicate with them, because the child will do the opposite simply because a feeling of contradiction prevails. The task of parents is to tactfully and calmly explain to the child the advantages or disadvantages of friends, and their own, and lead him to certain conclusions. If a teenager independently formulates what a friend should be, it will be his own opinion.

From the age of 10, a transformation of the thinking process occurs. Abstract concepts such as friendship, love, betrayal and others are filled with real content for the child. He begins to notice that the people around him can say one thing and do something completely different. Understanding the contradictions in thoughts, words and actions, a growing person begins to be more critical of the demands of adults, often entering into conflicting relationships with them. This is more typical for boys, who by nature are more active and aggressive.

Personal and emotional development of boys

For this period, both positive (showing independence, embracing new areas of activity) and negative (including conflict, disharmony of character) aspects are indicative.

Developmental tasks that arise before a child at ten years of age and continue until the end of adolescence:

• formation of gender role identity;
• development of interpersonal skills, effective communication;
• changing family relationships based on emotional independence while maintaining material and moral support;
• development of abstract thinking;
• formation of adequate self-esteem and development of self-awareness;
• formation of value orientations and worldview.

The struggle to be like everyone else and at the same time stand out leads to emotional instability. The opinion of other children becomes more important to the son than the opinion of his parents. Boys assert themselves through friendship with older children, slang, rudeness or clowning, strength or helpfulness to a stronger person. This period goes differently for everyone. From the variety of requirements and norms of society, patterns of behavior, a teenager chooses those that will subsequently become the basis of his personality - a system of personal meanings.

The difficulties of raising a son

At this age, psychological monitoring reveals low self-esteem in children, rejection of themselves, their bodies and abilities, shyness, and lack of self-confidence. In relation to parents, a child can behave rudely and defiantly, this is how he tries to demonstrate his maturity and express accumulated experiences. He constantly tests his courage and willpower. Such changes in the son's personality inevitably require a restructuring - from the authority of obedience to equal partnership.

Parents have no choice but to come to terms with the fact that the child is growing up and moving away from the family. Control is necessary, but much softer and more persistent. The son must understand that there are certain boundaries that cannot be crossed in one’s actions. At the same time, he should have a certain freedom in choosing additional activities, friends, how to spend his leisure time, etc.

Communication with both parents is important. The mother will continue to provide the much-needed emotional warmth and care, and will develop courage and determination. At this age, the child strives to contact any man who happens to be nearby, by all means available to him. If the father or stepfather is not nearby, the mother needs to take care of the positive male influence on her son. This could be a grandfather, a caring neighbor, a sports coach, etc. Otherwise, the boy has a high chance of growing up soft and indecisive.

Advice from a psychologist to parents of teenage sons:

• Do not abuse punishments and prohibitions, find the reason for this behavior, remember that your son needs an individual approach.
• Show interest in your child’s hobbies, support him in any endeavors, try to be your son’s friend.
• In situations of conflict, do not start with criticism of the child, but try to understand the motive of his action and find a way out together.
• Identify the child’s strengths and qualities and develop them by giving feasible tasks. It is of great importance for a boy to experience happiness and joy from success.
• Help your son to be good, smart, kind, brave. Notice his masculine actions and believe in him; a teenager needs to feel significant, special, and needed. This will help build his self-esteem.
• Help your teenager develop his life goals, teach him to confidently defend his point of view in various situations.
• Treat your child the way you want him to treat you and others.

If parents respect their son’s personality, he will grow up to be a harmoniously developed person with self-esteem, successful, courageous and decisive - just like a real man should be.