The need to remain silent for a chatterbox is 4 letters. More ≠ better

Imagine approaching a colleague to briefly outline your thoughts on a new project. But 40 minutes pass and you are still talking. Only now the subject of discussion is vacation plans and children. Is there a way to peacefully end a conversation with a chatty interlocutor?

William Hanson, author of The Bluffers Guide to Etiquette, suggests adopting a tone that discourages idle chatter: “Anticipate long conversations about personal matters by adopting a serious, businesslike demeanor.” Another tactic is to set a time limit at the very beginning of the conversation that you can devote to it. You could, for example, ask a person to give you two minutes of attention while you go to a meeting. In addition, it is better to ask specific questions that imply a single answer.

You can also express your attitude to the conversation through your posture or even movement around the office. Don’t wait for the person to approach you; it’s better to go to his workplace yourself. “It’s much easier to leave on your own than to get rid of an annoying guest,” says Peter English, personal effectiveness coach and author of Confidence Pocketbook. He adds that if there is an empty chair next to your workspace, place papers on it. “People won’t sit down. And whoever wants to sit down will have to remove all the papers,” the expert grins.

English believes that there is no need to be shy about trying to interrupt a conversation. "Weigh how harsh you can afford to be," he explains. Instead of nodding your head and smiling in response to a long monologue, politely interrupt the interlocutor or adopt a closed posture that is not conducive to conversation. You can, for example, turn sideways to the person or touch his hand. “In countries like the UK, it is not customary to make physical contact with the interlocutor. This means that this is a sure way to stop the endless flow of words,” he notes.

Any language has a whole arsenal of stock phrases that are pronounced in this case, reminds Jane Clerk, a business psychologist from Nicholson McBride. “You have the right to say: “Sorry, I have a backlog of work” or “I would talk to you, but I need to finish a report.” This is a way to end a conversation peacefully. And to even soften the situation, smile and say that you will be happy to talk at another time.

However, you should not forget that you cannot minimize any conversation that arises in the office with colleagues, no matter how busy you are. “People do business with people. And even if you're not interested at all, sometimes you need to spend time chatting,” says Hanson. “There are companies where business issues are resolved in a matter of minutes, and then people talk about family matters for two hours,” he adds.

In such cases, it is important to change your attitude towards the discussion. Don't worry about wasted time. Instead, think about how you are building a relationship with someone who is helpful to you. But there are pitfalls here too: you may encounter a boring interlocutor. Then you should resort to sign language. Hanson advises paying attention to the feet of the person talking to you. “If my legs are turned towards you, then I am interested in conversation. If one of my feet is pointing at the door, it means I want to leave,” he explains.

People subconsciously perceive signals sent by another person. If the other person shows indifference, you may feel that you are losing faith in what you are saying and that you no longer want to talk. In any case, you need to say: “I won’t keep you long,” Hanson concludes.

A way to silence a chatterbox

Gangster gag

A piece of something or a rag forced into the mouth to prevent screaming or biting

A means of neutralizing loud and biting individuals

Rag in the mouth

A rag that can silence

An object forced into the mouth to prevent screaming

Makes it difficult to call for help

. "silencer" for a hostage

Anti-noise plug

Hostage gag

Cloth for silence

Rag in mouth

Tongue plug

. "switch" of the screamer

. "silent" mouth cloth

Plug for a captive "tongue"

Reliable anger from chatter

Rag in the prisoner's mouth

Gag for a prisoner

A rag in which they are silent

Rag "plug"

The perfect antidote to chatter

A rag “brake” for a chatterbox

Anti-screaming remedy

A simple remedy for chatterboxes

. "gag" in the mouth

Rag in hostage's mouth

gag

To keep the hostage silent

Rag like a gag

Speech-depriving rag

Gagging Rag

Mouth plug

Rag forced into mouth

A rag forced into the mouth to prevent screaming

A piece of wood or a rag forced into the mouth to prevent screaming and biting

. "Switch" of the screamer

. "Silencer" for a hostage

. "Gag" in the mouth

. "Silent" mouth cloth

Gag in prisoner's mouth

Tongue plug

Plug for a captive "tongue"

M. (from the verb. to cleave) a short stick, spacer, plug, lever, wrap; twist on the horse's lip, which is restless when shoeing or cutting; sometimes two wraps, gags, with ties at the ends, a stick with ties, inserted across the mouth of animals caught alive; cross beam on the fortification of the spear; a wrap for tightening the rope when tying; crutch, clasp, balberka, e.g. what they use to fasten the floors of tents; teal, siskin, a stick cut at an angle from the end, which is hit on the ground with a stick, beating it off; this very game, the game of siskins; each of two sticks, struts, across a net and a drag, a nag. Happiness is not a gag: you can’t take it into your hands. The gag is not your brother: you can’t talk to him! i.e. a gag in the mouth. The gag will belittle. gags pl. rive, kleptsy, trap, trap. I got caught in gags. Oaths or pipes, gags, wraps on a horse's lip to tame it. Klepets, Chernomorsk. squirrel fish (not squirrel), Abramis sora. Klyapina gnarled tree, snag, crooked, inclined. Klyapysh m. gag, esp. in health care fasteners, wraps. Ryaz. marsh sandpiper, begging. Gag m. the same, wrap, twist, fastener, for example. on a horse bit, for bridling. Gag pl. plowing shelves, policemen. Klyapik m. (Klyapik detracts from gag) a rivet, a boot or fish-cleaning knife, short and wide, with a rounded, belly, rounded end. Klyapikovy, related to gag. A gag-nosed person who has a gag nose, a hooked one. Gag-like, gag-like. A gagged birch, a gagged or drooping stump. Gagged, equipped with gags or fasteners. Gag psk. hard (rivet? scribble?) fuss about trifles or talk nonsense; - Xia, there is no point in fighting

Rag "plug"

A rag "brake" for a chatterbox

“Shut up! Finally, shut up!” - that’s what was on the tip of Jeff’s tongue when he brought Laurie to his parents for the first time. Jeff wanted them to like her, but Lori apparently wouldn't stop talking under penalty of death. It looks like she just couldn't control herself.

People who simply cannot shut up do not know how to communicate well with others. And although their talkativeness seems charming at first, it definitely begins to tire after an hour, or two at most. Listening to these never-closing mouths talk verbosely and confusingly about the most mundane things, for example, how they cleaned the sink, any normal person would climb the wall. At the same time, they are usually not at all interested in whether the other person has time to talk with them.

These people are self-absorbed and completely unaware of the impression they make on others. They have a way of asking questions and then answering them themselves before anyone else does. They simply cannot be forced to remain silent, because then they begin to feel discomfort and panic. It’s as if they have a perpetual motion machine running inside them that they can’t turn off.

They talk to cheer themselves up or calm themselves down. Chatting distracts them from the problems and troubles they have to face. These people love the sound of their voice, so sometimes there is an element of narcissism in their character. The pleasure they get from hearing the sound of their voice is much more important to them than the inconvenience they cause to others.

Chatterboxes can be very difficult to drive away from the phone. They get so carried away that they force you to talk to them in a rude commanding tone, and sometimes just take them away and hang up the phone.

They don't understand how their constant chattering irritates others: they are too self-absorbed to notice it. They rarely pay attention to the signals they receive from frustrated listeners, especially if they are not very obvious or expressed in words. The only thing that can silence them, at least temporarily, is a call for silence, pronounced loudly and impressively. But even then they will remain silent for no more than half an hour, because they simply cannot control themselves. They definitely have to talk again, and the harsh remarks that others make to them do not seem to bother them very much, because they are too self-absorbed. And even if they are offended, they will simply pause and then start chatting again. They are capable of driving anyone who stays with them for any length of time to the point of complete exhaustion.

The mental development of many talkative people in childhood did not go smoothly enough, which was the reason for their excessive talkativeness in adulthood. Such behavior is formed at the stage of speech development, which begins at the age of approximately three and a half to four years, when children constantly rant both in the company of others and when left alone. During this period, they constantly ask the question “why?”, even if it has already been answered several times. They do this not only because they want attention, but also because they like to listen to themselves and show off their newly acquired language abilities.

As adults, these individuals may become psychologically stuck at this level and retain the developmental pattern typical of four-year-olds. Their constant chatter is a psychological defense that serves to relieve them of the fear of abandonment and being alone. They need to be with someone all the time because they desperately need listeners. But if no one is around, they talk to themselves and don’t see anything strange in it.

Psychotherapists often find that such adult talkers were constantly left alone in childhood. They were either children with a key around their necks, who were left to their own devices for hours before their parents arrived, or useless children, ignored by both parents and peers. So they talked non-stop to compensate for their lack of communication. They developed the ability to chatter as a means of keeping others' attention.

Sometimes excessive talkativeness is caused by medications, mental disorders, or some neurological or genetic syndrome. Therefore, it is necessary to keep in mind that some chatterboxes have serious health problems.