A window into a baby's sleep. How to put your baby to sleep quickly and easily? What time should you put your child to bed?

When we talk about successful bedtime, we mean that the child falls asleep calmly, without tears, hysterics, protest and, what is also important, quickly.

Putting to bed will be successful if it is carried out during the so-called “sleep window” - a short period of time when the child’s need to sleep and the child’s ability to fall asleep in a calm state coincide.

Missing the window to sleep is a path to overexcitation, from which it is very difficult to get to sleep, and when this is still possible, then, as a rule, the same scenario develops further. Waking up after 20-30 minutes, tears, crying, inconsolable hysteria, and then - a capricious and restless child, who does not have the strength to develop and understand the world, clinging to his mother, whining, in a bad mood, rejecting any idea - from a game to soup, from walks to soap bubbles.

Learning to catch the window of sleep is the most important task and at the same time the key to success in improving your baby’s sleep. To do this, it is extremely important to introduce quiet wakefulness before bed, which we have already discussed. After all, it is this that gives the child’s psyche the opportunity to slow down, the signs of fatigue to appear, and the mother to put the baby to sleep quickly and calmly.

Signs of fatigue, however, often become an elusive phantom, the “hunt” for which is fruitless. Many children hide signs of fatigue. They are active and smiling and seem to be full of energy, but suddenly, like a relay, they switch to the mode of whims and hysterics, angry rejection and aggressive behavior. This means that there were signs of fatigue, but they went unnoticed because they were hidden by active actions and events, or because the mother overlooked or did not recognize the child’s signals as a call to put him to bed. And it happens that the first signs of fatigue are considered by the mother to be the second, or even the third, and sometimes even signs of the onset of overexcitation. In this case, the window for sleep has been missed, and it’s too late to start going to bed.

How to distinguish the first signs of fatigue from subsequent ones? Mom’s sensitive heart and attentive gaze will help with this. Focusing on age-specific sleep and wakefulness norms, devote several days to closely monitoring your baby. Write down everything you see in the hour before bed, including your surroundings and previous activities or events. Yes, yes, write it down, no matter how stupid it may seem to you! As a result of analyzing the information collected, you will find a fine line between quickly and calmly going to bed on a positive wave and long tears and hysterics before bed. Review your notes after a few days. (Perhaps the epiphany will overtake you sooner.) After all, if everything was simple, you wouldn’t have problems with your baby’s sleep, right? And you wouldn't be reading this article now. 🙂

What signs can indicate that it is time for the baby to sleep and that he is ready for this?

Of course, their set depends on the age of the child. Babies, children of the so-called fourth trimester of pregnancy, that is, from birth to 3–4 months, exhibit as such signs not only the search movements familiar to every mother (1). They may (2) clench their fists or (3) suck their fingers. Also, the readiness of children in the first months of life can be indicated by (4) dissatisfied grimaces or (5) poorly focused gaze. Parents often note (6) sudden movements of the arms and legs; the child seems to throw them up, as if shaking off the remnants of the energy charge of his battery. This is a sure sign: it's time.

Older children have a more diverse set of signs. While observing and analyzing, remember that each of these signs can be either the first, second or third. 🙂 And only you can say exactly how things are in your case.

The baby simply looks tired. Without any special complications or camouflage veils. So you look at him and see: he is sleepy. Perhaps his face becomes paler, his eyes dim, and shadows appear around them.

The baby rubs his eyes. Simple and obvious.

The baby yawns a lot. Also not a Newton binomial. 🙂

The baby pulls his ear or rubs his ears.

Frozen look. A short or long unfocused look into nowhere is a sign of fatigue.

The baby's mood is spoiled. Here he was smiling cheerfully at you five minutes ago, but now he is gloomy and not cheerful, as if a cloud covered your sun.

The baby becomes irritable. He is less tolerant of changes and reacts more emotionally. You start to get bored faster and it becomes more and more difficult to maintain interest in the game. The baby whines and is capricious.

The baby is more nervous. Sudden noise, light, or an unexpected action by someone in the household causes an acute reaction, even to the point of nervous twitching. The baby cries over trifles - this is more likely a sign of accumulated fatigue.

The child becomes clumsy. He falls, sways from side to side, drops things, gets pushed, or even gets hurt during play.

The baby becomes indifferent, loses interest in the game and people. He turns away during play and communication.

The baby sticks to you and does not leave your arms or, on the contrary, unlike usual, does not want to hug at all.

The baby becomes less mobile and active.

The baby, on the contrary, becomes too active, excited, and “plays.” Most often, this is how overexcitation that has already begun manifests itself.

What to do if you missed the first signs of fatigue?

Assess the child's condition and his signals. If he is overtired, but the wave of excitement has not yet crawled far upward, immediately proceed to putting him to bed. You can neglect the ritual - perceive what is happening as an emergency evacuation. When you urgently need to escape from home, you can leave unwashed dishes. 🙂

If the child becomes overexcited, immediately switch to calm wakefulness, freeze activity and watch for signs of fatigue again. If you do everything right, they won't keep you waiting. But be careful! Don't miss them this time!

Remember that a child under three years of age is physiologically incapable of calming himself down. The development of his nervous system is such that now the processes of excitation in it prevail over the processes of inhibition. And this means that you must help him in this difficult matter. Forty minutes before daytime sleep and an hour before nighttime sleep, reduce activity, stop stimulating activities, turn off the TV, computer, tablet. Dim the lights. Speak quietly. Dedicate this time to quiet activities and getting ready for bed. If you follow these simple rules, then signs of fatigue will not go unnoticed, and you will be able to put your baby to sleep easily and pleasantly.

Good night and sweet dreams! See you in new articles and reviews!

Coach of the project “Healthy Children's Sleep System” Anna Ashmarina

In anticipation of our first child, we collect his dowry, set up a nursery, and learn to relax during labor. And rarely does anyone think about the issues of children's sleep: how long it should be, how to avoid hours of motion sickness, etc. The result is that young mothers are like wet salt: they don’t get enough sleep. And they perceive this as the norm, but in vain. After all, there are a number of tools that will help manage your child’s sleep.

Olga Semenyuk, operational director of the BabySleep Center for Children's Sleep and Development, and a consultant on children's sleep, spoke about them at the seminar "10 Rules for Healthy Children's Sleep", held at the capital's family center "Ba-Buu".

Olga Semenyuk. Children's sleep director

ASSISTANTS: HORMONE, NOISE AND SLEEPY FRIEND

The conductor of sleep in our body is the hormone melatonin. He's a spoiled guy. So, it needs serotonin, which we get from the amino acid tryptophan. It is found, in particular, in dairy, fish, and meat products. The second point: in order for a child to sleep well in the dark, he must be in the light for sufficient time. But the most important condition is pitch darkness in the bedroom, because melatonin is destroyed under the influence of light. So let your night light sleep with you. Turn it on only when needed.

But often, even without lamps, apartments are light at night: streetlights and car headlights do their job. This is where blackout curtains come to the rescue: they will not allow a single ray of light to penetrate your room until you want it. They are needed not only for the production of melatonin, but also so that the whole family can get enough sleep on a summer morning, when the sun rises early and wakes up the baby. By the way, so that during your vacation you don’t wake up at 5 am in a hotel room that doesn’t have thick curtains and blinds, take foil or large black bags with you and stick them on the windows. This homemade product will also help put your child to bed at 20:00-21:00, when the lights of the hotel disco are shining outside the window.

And if at the same time you still have problems with sound insulation, noise will come to the rescue. White or pink. The first is a smooth background noise, reminiscent of the sound of a mother’s womb. This could be a recording of rain, the flow of a mountain river, etc. Both white and pink noise contain frequencies that our ears can detect. But the signal strength is different. For white, it is the same at all frequencies. And with pink, as the frequency increases, the signal power decreases. What does it mean? In pink noise, low sounds are more intense and louder than high sounds. An example would be the sound of a helicopter flying by. You will immediately recognize pink noise by ear. It is lower, deeper than white. We just follow the safety rules: the sound source should be no closer than a meter from the child’s head and its volume should not exceed 50 decibels. For example, a hairdryer can create white noise, but a program on your phone is more convenient. For example, you know that at 7:00 construction starts outside your window. In order not to run to close it, give the command to the phone to start making noise at the right time.

From 6 months you can give your child a “sleepy friend”. It is important that he does not play with it during the day. To do this, come up with some kind of story: let the baby know that when he hugs his “Snowflake”, a dream will come to him.

TO UPLOAD OR NOT TO UPLOAD?

Knowing one simple fact opens your eyes to the process of going to bed. We all wake up during the night during sleep cycles. Adults, as a rule, do not feel these mini-wake-ups. Kids are another matter: they need the situation in which they fell asleep to be recreated. That is, if your baby doll falls asleep sweetly on your chest, then at night you will have to give it to him, not because he is hungry, but because that is the nature of his sleep.

Accordingly, if you rocked him to sleep before bed, you will have to repeat this in the middle of the night. So, “to pump or not to pump?” - obviously. But the question arises: what to do when midnight is approaching, but there is still no sleep. Baby sleeper consultants answer: catch a window into a sleepy kingdom.

MISSION IS POSSIBLE - CAPTURE THE WINDOW INTO DREAM

Experts have calculated how long a child of a certain age should sleep and how long he should stay awake. To catch the sleep window, that is, the time when it will be easiest to put him to sleep (it can be only 5-15 minutes), you need to know his wake time (WT).

The smaller the baby, the shorter it will be. For example, in newborns it can be only 40 minutes. This WB needs to be divided into two phases. The first is the time for all kinds of activities, gymnastics, going to the pool, etc. The second is the period when you need to let the child’s nervous system slow down and tune in to sleep (remember that inhibitory processes mature in different children at different times (5-7 years), so you won’t be able to put a small child down from a fight in the sandbox for a very long time).

There are few families with small children in which one or both parents do not suffer from lack of sleep. Moreover, problems with a child’s sleep arise not only due to the fact that he is teething - a symptom of teething can actually be a temporary sleep disturbance. But there are also many children for whom difficulty falling asleep and waking up up to ten times a night are constant.

The problem of how to teach a child to sleep is relevant for many parents, and it often takes a lot of effort to solve it. Meanwhile, practice shows that most parents make the same mistakes. If these omissions are corrected, perhaps the baby’s sleep will soon improve on its own, without using additional methods to improve the child’s night sleep.

Mistake 1. Lack of the baby’s usual bedtime ritual

Remember how you go to bed yourself. Most likely, you do the same things every day, such as taking a shower, brushing your teeth, putting on pajamas, watching TV, or reading a book in bed. These actions seem to be a signal to the body that it is time for it to get ready for sleep. The baby also needs exactly the same signals - after all, he does not yet understand the clock, and can only guess about the imminent approach of certain events by certain, repeated actions. If today the baby goes to bed immediately after bathing, tomorrow after eating, and the day after tomorrow dad suddenly decides to play horse with him before bed, there is no need to talk about developing the habit of falling asleep at the same time. So parents observe this result: today the child falls asleep almost in the bathroom while bathing, and tomorrow at the same time it is impossible to put him to bed by any force. Having a ritual before bed is a must for any child, regardless of age.

Mistake 2: You don't pay attention to the signals your child is sending you.

Children, even the smallest ones, always send signals to their parents that it is time for them to sleep, that they are tired and need peace. The most common of these signals are:

Yawn
Rubbing the peephole
Decreased activity
Moodiness
Loss of interest in the game and others
Tearfulness.

The appearance of these symptoms indicates that, as one of the famous child sleep specialists, Kim West, says, the child has opened a “window to sleep.” That is, the period of time during which it will be easiest to put him to sleep. If this window is missed, the body begins to produce increased amounts of the stress hormone cortisol, which leads to excessive arousal. It will be twice as difficult to put a baby who has missed his “window” to sleep.

What to do if bedtime has already come, but there are no similar signs indicating that the baby is ready for sleep? Kim West advises dimming the lights, muffling the sounds, and engaging in quiet activities with your child. Soon the signals will not keep you waiting.

Mistake 3. Creating sleep crutches

In Western sleep training, crutches are anything parents use to help their baby fall asleep. Such “crutches” include rocking, breastfeeding, singing, stroking, and other actions. According to Kim West, after the age of 3-4 months, these generally innocent actions of the parents of a newborn, trying to put the baby to sleep, become his “crutches”, which he is no longer able to do without. Yes, rocking a newborn baby to sleep is not difficult and very touching. But think about it, will you feel as comfortable rocking a hefty one-year-old toddler in your arms for 20-30 minutes?

“Crutches” are not at all bad or incorrect behavior of parents. However, such habits can turn into a problem if the baby becomes dependent on them and does not learn to fall asleep without them. And every time he wakes up at night, he will demand the usual reassurance again and again.

How to get rid of “crutches”? Experts recommend eliminating not the habits themselves, but the dependence on them. That is, it is necessary to break their association with sleep; for example, many children associate breastfeeding with sleep. To do this, you just need to space them out in time. That is, if you are breastfeeding your baby before bed, stop feeding him before he falls asleep. And start putting him in bed not asleep, but sleepy, but still awake. This method works best if you start using it at 6-8 weeks of age. A child at this age can much more easily learn to do without “crutches” and calm himself down when he wakes up at night. Of course, no one has canceled night feedings, and if the child wakes up at the time when it is time for him to eat, he needs to be fed. But, again, try to put him in bed before he is completely asleep.

Mistake 4: Transitioning from crib to bed too early

According to experts, this is one of the most common mistakes parents make, which then leads to solving the problem of how to teach a child to sleep, but in his own “adult” bed. The main rule here is not to move a child from his first crib to an “adult” bed until he learns to climb over the railings of his crib himself. From now on, staying in it becomes simply dangerous for the baby. It is believed that a child can easily sleep in his first bed until he is two years old, or even more. High railings are an excellent help for parents at a time when the baby is not yet able to follow verbal commands. Otherwise, the problem when a child does not want to sleep at night will be very difficult to cope with: he will simply get out of bed. When the child is already able to understand that, having been put to bed, he must remain in bed all night, then you can safely transfer him from the cradle to a regular bed.

Mistake 5. The child sleeps wherever he has to.

No one is saying that parents should completely become slaves to the children's schedule and not allow themselves to deviate a single step from it. But you shouldn’t go to the other extreme. For many parents, it turns out that the baby falls asleep either in the stroller, or in the car, or in their arms on the way home from visiting, or in a highchair. Experts have proven that if a baby falls asleep in a place other than his own crib or “on the go,” he does not get proper rest. Movement keeps the brain in a state of light rather than deep sleep, and the baby cannot fall asleep soundly. In order for your child to develop healthy sleep habits, he or she must have a regular place to sleep during the day and during the night. Deviations from this rule may only be permitted in exceptional cases. Try to solve all your affairs outside the home in the intervals between your baby’s naps. Or make sure that dad, grandma or nanny stays with the baby. This is another important rule that must be remembered by those who want to teach their child to sleep.

Mistake 6: Not having a sleep schedule

Consistency is the key word in anything you want to teach your baby, whether it's teaching your baby to sit or teaching him to sleep through the night. Children need regular daytime and night sleep, because not only the child’s well-being, but also the processes of hormone production in his body depend on a normal sleep schedule. Predictability allows the child to feel protected, while any surprises unsettle him and can cause stress. A sleep schedule is very important to ensure that your baby's internal biological clock is established. In recent years, much has been said about the fact that the annual change of time from summer to winter and vice versa can harm the human body. But the lack of a set sleep schedule does the same thing to a child - only not once a year, but every day. Difficulty putting your baby to sleep and constant awakenings during the night can be the result of the lack of such a schedule. Or parents' attempts to adjust this schedule to their needs. For example, a baby is put to bed when he does not want to sleep yet, or, conversely, too late, when he is already overexcited from fatigue.

Of course, there is always room for some flexibility, and the baby is not a robot to switch off at the same time every day. Sometimes he will sleep a little less, and sometimes a little longer. But in any case, the sleep schedule should be based on those signals that an experienced mother can recognize in a baby who wants to sleep, and depending on this, create a child’s sleep schedule.

Mistake 7. Leaving your child up late, hoping that he will sleep longer in the morning

It may not seem like such a bad idea to put your baby to bed later so he can sleep longer in the morning. However, in believing this, we are guided by our own experience, because when we go to bed late, we would like to sleep more in the morning. Unfortunately, this principle does not work with young children. And even being put to bed later than usual, the infant does not sleep well at night and wakes up in the morning not later, but even earlier. Already at the age of several months, babies' internal clocks begin to work. And they usually wake him up at the same time, no matter what time he goes to bed in the evening. Thus, by delaying the moment of putting the baby to bed, we deprive him of precious sleep time. And the next day, the child will most likely be too tired and will be capricious all day. It may seem counterintuitive, but if your baby gets up too early every morning, for example at 6 a.m. (getting up at 7 a.m. is not considered early), then it may be worth putting him to bed half an hour or even an hour earlier in the evening.

Mistake 8: Parents change their sleep requirements for their baby in the middle of the night.

Very often, when an infant does not sleep well at night and once again wakes up his mother with his crying, it can be difficult to stick to the decisions that were firmly made the day before. According to experts in the field of children's sleep, one of the biggest mistakes that are made is forced co-sleeping. That is, when a mother tries to follow the path of least resistance and takes the baby into her bed, although she did not at all intend to practice co-sleeping with her baby. Yes, there are families where such a decision is made consciously, but we are not talking about them now. And about those who put a child in their bed because they are otherwise unable to put him to sleep. This is one of the most dangerous “crutches”, which is very difficult to get rid of over time.

Another common mistake is to deviate from the decisions made, trying to improve the sleep of an infant and teach him to sleep on his own. For example, parents first try to wean their child from unwanted habits associated with falling asleep, for example, falling asleep with the breast. Full of firm intention, after feeding they put the still awake baby into bed. Of course, he will be outraged by such a violation of his usual routine, and will begin to cry. If parents have firmly decided that sleeping with the breast is no longer acceptable, they should stick to their decision. You can periodically approach a crying child, but after 30 minutes of crying, you cannot take him in your arms, habitually place him on your chest and wait until he falls asleep, as before. By behaving like this, you teach him only one thing: if he cries long enough, he will get everything he tried to achieve.

If you find it difficult to stick to your decisions, ask other family members for help. For example, after the baby has fed on the breast, the father lays him down next. Perhaps it will be easier for him to cope with the child’s crying, especially since every day the baby will cry less and less, getting used to the new order.

Mistake 9. Parents cannot agree among themselves

If a family decides to start working on their child's sleep, parents should be sure that they both share this decision. And we are ready to stick to the chosen tactics, be it trying to put the child to sleep without crying or using the Ferber method. But the behavior of both of them should be consistent and not contradict each other. Situations when the mother decides that it’s time for the child to learn to sleep on his own, and leaves him alone in the room for some time, and the father does not want to listen to the baby’s cry and decides that it is better to rock him to sleep again, are unacceptable. They only confuse the baby even more, who cannot understand what they want from him.

Mistake 10. Not finishing the job

If your baby has trouble sleeping at night and you want to teach him to fall asleep on his own, be prepared for the fact that it will take some time. As a rule, by consistently adhering to a certain method for a week, you will already be able to notice significant improvements, or even completely solve your baby’s sleep problem. Within two weeks, most children learn to fall asleep on their own and hardly ever wake up at night. But during this week or two, parents must strictly adhere to their decision. In something like teaching a child to sleep, you should not expect instant results. Be realistic, and prepare for the fact that a week, two, and perhaps three, will not be the easiest. But then the whole family will be able to enjoy excellent sleep. Don't assume that your baby's sleep pattern will improve on its own. Most likely, the problem will remain with you for many months, or even years, if you do not take measures to solve it. But, once you choose a sleep training method, stick to it for at least 2 weeks, without retreating one step. Only in this case, when solving the problem of how to teach a child to sleep, can you expect pronounced and lasting results.

Eco-friendly parenting: Do you notice a sudden burst of activity in your child in the evening? Does your child suddenly become very active, noisy, and sometimes uncontrollable? Despite the late hour, it seems that he will now start running along the walls and what, but he definitely doesn’t want to sleep?

It’s worth complaining that your baby can’t fall asleep for a long time in the evening, and someone will definitely advise you to put him to bed later and give him a good run before bed. This advice is good for an adult, but not suitable for a child.

What to do if your child doesn’t want to sleep on time

Circadian rhythms

The functioning of our entire body is tuned to certain natural rhythms. All life on Earth, including humans, is subordinate to them.

These rhythms are called circadian and are based on a 24-hour cycle. The stability of circadian rhythms is facilitated not only by light factors, but also by hormones produced in our body with a certain cyclicity.

The natural rhythms of young children are tuned to waking up early in the morning and, accordingly, going to bed early at night. By this time, the body produces all the hormones necessary for falling asleep, a kind of “natural sleeping pill.”

Emergency situation

What happens if a person (in this case, it doesn’t matter whether a child or an adult) does not go to bed at the “proper” time?

Our brain, like hundreds of years ago, proceeds from the fact that "something happened". And he, in general, no matter what it is: a flood, an attack by wild animals or enemies - or just a tablet with toys.

It is important that the situation is regarded as “force majeure”, and the brain begins to perform a new task - not to sleep. And don't want to sleep. And now new hormones are being produced that help with just this.

"Second wind"

You've probably experienced this feeling: I seemed to want to sleep, and even really wanted to. You drank tea, sat in front of the TV, did some housework... And we discovered that we didn’t want to sleep at all!

These are the same hormones that come into play that help you not want to sleep. And until their effect wears off, it will be very difficult to fall asleep.

The same thing happens in children. If you do not put the baby to bed on time, at a time when his body is ready to fall asleep (we call this the “window to sleep”), then the child will “overnight” and difficulties in falling asleep are guaranteed.

What does it look like

Do you notice a sharp surge in activity in your child in the evening? Does your child suddenly become very active, noisy, and sometimes uncontrollable? Despite the late hour, it seems that he will now start running along the walls and what, but he definitely doesn’t want to sleep? Most likely, the “window to sleep” was missed. Now, indeed, it will be difficult to put the child to bed until the child “falls from fatigue.”

Such wakefulness occurs due to the reserves of the body in general and the nervous system in particular. It’s not a big deal if this happens from time to time to a child who generally gets enough sleep. But if it happens constantly, it not only harms the child and his development, but also leads to the consolidation of a bad habit.

What to do?

If you recognize your situation and would like to change it, it is worth changing your child's bedtime. It is important that preparation for bed is completed before the onset of evening activity. If by the time your baby goes to bed he is calm and relaxed, and you learn to accurately hit the “sleep window,” your baby will fall asleep much easier and faster.

To determine your sleep window, remember(or better yet, write it down to be safe) time at which you usually observe a child's sudden agitation. Some time before this moment, you can see signs of the child’s fatigue - start styling immediately!

It is best to organize your day so that by the time signs of tiredness appear, both you and your child are completely ready to go to bed.