How to always maintain self-confidence. How to be confident in yourself: advice from a psychologist, practical recommendations

Confidence is built throughout life. However, this incipient feeling can be either strengthened or destroyed on your own or with the help of people around you. The foundation for proper development of confidence is laid in childhood.

Childhood is the foundation of adult confidence

When a person is born, his life and health depend on the people around him - his parents. And the future of their child depends on how they structure the upbringing process.

When the child began to show his first achievements, for example, he took out a toy himself, took his first steps, parents should support and praise him. It is this praise that will give the child confidence in his abilities and lay the foundation for the correct development of personal quality - confidence. However, to prevent confidence from developing into self-confidence in the future, praise should be given in moderation and for achievements that are truly important for the child.

If he is praised for any reason, he will stop realistically assessing his strengths and this will lead to the development of self-confidence and pride.

Confidence and self-confidence differ from each other by the presence of a real, adequate assessment of one’s strengths and achievements.

When deprived of praise in childhood, a person develops complexes and begins to lack self-confidence. This can be corrected in adulthood, but it will require a lot of strength and patience.

Adequate self-esteem

A woman’s degree of self-confidence depends on her self-esteem, which can be low, normal or high. Adequate self-esteem allows you to confidently behave in society and live in harmony with yourself and the world around you.

Self-esteem is developed based on a person's behavior. There are two main models of behavior:

With the first model of behavior, a person has more positive things in life, he is independent of the opinions of others, he is more open and confident in his abilities. Self-esteem is formed normally.

In the second case, the person does not fully open up, he is cautious, does not take risks and seeks constant confirmation of his fears. Self-esteem is low and unless behavior changes it will not improve.

To achieve something in life, you need to be able to be self-critical of your achievements and evaluate them objectively; this is only possible with normal self-esteem.

Causes of self-doubt

The main reasons for self-doubt:

1. Ignorance of one's "I".

During her life, a woman goes through a number of roles: girl, girl, woman, wife, mother, employee, grandmother. And at every stage of life, she identifies herself with the role she performs. She “merges” with the role so much that if she is taken away, the woman will be confused and will not be able to find her “I”.

For example, when identifying herself with children after they have grown up and no longer need round-the-clock care, a woman loses the meaning of life, which becomes a big blow to her internal mechanisms. If life had its own goals, then as children grow up, life will not lose meaning, only the emphasis on being busy will shift.

1. Lack of meaning in life.

Lack of meaning in life causes anxiety and uncertainty. The woman does not know “where she is going” and “why she needs this.” All actions are accompanied by a lack of positivity and desire. While a woman who knows the highest goal of her life is filled with positivity, confidence in herself and her future.

1. Live only with your head.

If a woman succumbs to progress, the latest technologies and begins to live only with her “head,” joy disappears from her life. Emotions do not burst out, intuition freezes, this can “result” in a woman’s uncertainty. When she cannot explain some action from a scientific point of view, her built inner world will be shaken.

1. Ignorance of your values.

Lack of personal values ​​leads to internal conflict. Without a foundation, a person cannot build his future. He may be lost between choices: and not understand how he can combine them together and live happily.

It is difficult for a person who lacks self-confidence to refuse people around him; he cannot simply say “no,” as a result of which his own interests fade into the background. The inability to refuse leads to the need to perform various tasks that cause discomfort. The constant feeling of which makes you feel uncertain about the possibilities of achieving your goals.

It is difficult for an insecure woman to arrange her personal life and express herself in society: build a career, have healthy relationships with others. A state of uncertainty leads to the fact that a person begins to give in to everyone, infringing on his personal interests, and feels uncertain about the future, in the future. One's own goals are not achieved because decisions are not made independently, but only on the advice of others. As a result, anger towards the people around him occurs. It is very difficult for a woman with such feelings to arrange her personal life, since men want to see a confident person next to them. But a woman is not always able to recognize signs of self-doubt in time.

Signs of self-doubt

In order not to earn yourself an inferiority complex, you need to listen to yourself and, when you notice alarm bells from the subconscious, immediately take measures to prevent the condition from worsening.

These “calls” include:

• unreasonable fear of solving assigned tasks;
• feeling of internal discomfort;
• acute reaction to the opinions of others;
• self-affirmation at the expense of the weaker;
• emotional insecurity;
• fear of expressing your opinion in a group.

If any of the above appears, you need to start fighting the manifestation of uncertainty.

How to overcome self-doubt

To overcome self-doubt, there are many psychological trainings, but if you cannot attend them, you can begin to “remake” yourself. So how to overcome self-doubt?

Let's consider the psychologist's advice that you need to understand and overcome when ridding yourself of uncertainty.

1. Forget childhood grievances and live in the present.
2. Behave in accordance with your inner worldview. Do not pay attention to the opinions of others if it interferes with getting positive things out of life.
3. Don't expect praise from others. You can start praising yourself.
4. Don't compare yourself to others, especially more successful people. You shouldn’t envy them, but you need to learn from them the determination to achieve your goals, regardless of the expectations of others. It is better to compare your achievements of today and yesterday.
5. Learn to enjoy your failures and benefit from them. Don't get upset or despair.
6. Don't dwell on defeats.

By setting yourself up in this way, over time you will notice that there are fewer failures, and more pleasure from life!

A woman who is unsure of her abilities will avoid situations where she needs to defend her opinion or express it openly. Therefore, to train practical skills, you should create such situations for yourself and try to go through them.

For example:

• go to a stylish clothing store and try on the things you like, and if the help of the seller is not required, politely but decisively refuse. After which, without buying anything, calmly leave the store;
• in crowded public transport, ask any man to give you a seat;
• in a cafe or any other public place, approach the man you like and speak to him first.

Carrying out such practical situations will not always produce the desired result. However, you shouldn’t be upset, you need to find something positive, “sort out” your behavior and not repeat the mistakes you made. For example, the tone of voice when addressing someone with a question should not contain pleading notes.

• speak loudly and clearly, but do not shout;
• look your interlocutor in the eyes, sometimes look away so that it does not seem aggressive;
• don't constantly apologize;
• maintain an even posture;
• do not humiliate your interlocutor;
• treat all people with respect.

A woman who is unsure of her abilities must learn to act decisively in all life situations. The first achievements of your goals will significantly increase your self-esteem, which will add confidence.

Every woman wants to be paid attention to, listen to her opinion and admire her. To do this, you need to become a strong, confident woman, then others simply cannot help but notice you.

You need to know that changing your image will require time and not little. To become a more confident woman, you need to change your inner state, change your attitude towards others and love yourself.

Before starting changes, decide what qualities are inherent in confident and strong women in order to develop them in yourself.

After compiling a list of qualities, note those that you already have and strive to achieve those that you don’t. At the same time, you need to be prepared that this will require an investment of time, willpower, and you need to set yourself up to get results. Stop blaming your genes or upbringing, your life is only in your hands! You can become whoever you want and get everything you need for a comfortable existence.

The appearance of a confident woman

A strong woman can be different, for example, domineering and demanding or soft and leisurely. At the same time, no one undertakes to challenge her opinion or instructions. So, what kind of confident woman is she?

For a girl to feel confident in herself, everything must be perfect, not only internally, but also externally.

A strong, confident woman should have well-groomed face and body skin, healthy hair, a beautiful manicure, well-applied makeup and well-groomed hands. There should be no slouched posture, obsessive and disorderly gestures. A confident woman should carry herself with dignity, have an even posture and stylish clothes.

All external components, together with internal qualities, make up the image of a confident and strong girl.

Differences between a confident woman and an insecure woman

For clarity, let’s look at the main qualities of a confident and insecure woman, presented in a table:

The behavior of a confident woman is based on the presence of these qualities. Such a woman knows her worth, she adequately assesses her goals and the possibilities of achieving them.

A confident and self-sufficient woman has an image that meets three basic rules:

A perfect appearance will give you self-confidence. Well-groomed skin of the hands and face, professional makeup and manicure together with stylish clothes will raise self-esteem. Also, an even posture and a beautiful figure will add confidence and faith in your abilities.

When communicating, your gaze should be direct and your head held high. You must be able to restrain the appearance of emotions on your face, especially anger and malice, which will repel your interlocutor. At the same time, friendliness can be expressed simply with a smile.

How quickly you will be understood depends on the ability to correctly express your thoughts. Therefore, there are also rules here, it is recommended:

• When considering any issue or controversial situation, start building a sentence with the emphasis that you are expressing your personal opinion. That is, start with the words “I think”, “I believe”, “I will be glad”, but don’t build a sentence with the phrase “ You" or " You“, since this will sound like a claim to a specific person and will cause him to protest against accepting your views.
• If during communication a person gets lost or confused in his thoughts, you can prompt and guide him.
• Unpleasant words spoken in your company should be stopped immediately.
• Express your thoughts specifically without phrases “I’ll think about it”, “maybe”, “I don’t know”.
• Stay calm and communicate politely and positively.

These rules will help you overcome fear, embarrassment and self-doubt, and become a more decisive, respectable woman.

Men are attracted to confident women

A woman with low self-esteem finds it difficult to attract a man's attention. Because she will get lost under his gaze and feel insecure. Moreover, if the relationship works out, the woman will be tormented by doubts, and the resulting uncertainty in the man will lead to frequent outbreaks of unreasonable jealousy. Such uncertainty in a relationship will exhaust the woman, the man will feel her hesitation and there is a high probability that such a relationship will fall apart.

Most men love confident women with adequate self-esteem. A girl with a positive attitude, a smile, a stylish appearance, and at the same time a confident life position, a sense of tact and all-round development, will always be the center of male attention.

However, a very confident woman who turns into overconfidence, considering herself superior to others, will push a man away. Because a young man next to such a girl will begin to feel an inferiority complex.

Men love confident women because it is pleasant to spend time with them, both alone and in society. They inspire admiration and attract the attention of people around them. A confident man who knows his worth will not become unreasonably jealous, but will only enjoy seeing the admiring glances turned to his companion.

Thus, if the upbringing received in childhood did not lay the foundation for the development of a strong and self-confident personality, this can be done independently in adulthood. However, it will take willpower, time and desire to change for the better. A confident woman evokes delight and admiration; she achieves her goals while remaining friendly and polite.

The next video is about whether it is even possible to become a confident woman. How to do it?

No one is born with unlimited self-confidence. If someone is incredibly confident, it's because he or she has worked to build that confidence for years. To become self-confident, need to learn this, because the complex world of business and life in general can erode our confidence.

Social media, a customer asking us to return an item, or refusing help can overwhelm our attempts to become a confident person. Good but sometimes unkind comments from those closest to us can also take a toll on our confidence.

We also have to deal with our inner critic of self-doubt, which constantly tells us that we are not good enough. With so many elements attacking our self-confidence, we need to take responsibility for building it.

Building a successful business requires being patient and confident in your ability to overcome obstacles. And for this you need to become a confident person.

How to become confident? 10 ways

1. Visualize yourself as you want to be

Visualization is a way of seeing an image of yourself that you are proud, in your own imagination. When we are insecure, we have a poor perception of ourselves, which is often inaccurate. Practice visualizing a fantasy version of yourself, a person who has already achieved their goals.

2. Affirm yourself

We tend to behave in accordance with our own image. The trick to making big changes is to change what how do you see yourself.

Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements we say to ourselves. They are usually more effective if say them out loud. We tend to believe everything we tell ourselves all the time. For example, if you hate your own appearance, practice saying what you appreciate or love about yourself when you look at yourself in the mirror.

To help your brain process your positive statements faster, phrase your affirmations with specific questions, e.g. “Why am I so good at making deals?” instead of“I’m so good at making deals.” Our brains are biologically wired to seek answers to questions without analyzing whether the question is real or not.

3. Do one thing every day that scares you

The best way is to confront him head-on. By doing something that scares you every day, you become more confident with each experience. So, Get out of your comfort zone and face your fears!

4. Question your inner critic

Some of the harshest comments we receive come from ourselves, via " inner voice of critic" If you want to become self-confident, but you find it difficult to do so, most likely your inner critic has gained momentum and become unclear.

Cognitive behavioral therapy will help you question the words of your inner critic and begin to look for evidence that confirms or denies what the voice is telling you. For example, if you think you are a loser, ask yourself, “What evidence is there that supports the idea that I am a failure?” and “What evidence does not support the idea that I am a failure?”

Find Opportunities congratulate, praise and reward yourself even for the smallest successes. As Mark Twain said: “A person cannot feel comfortable without his own approval”.

5. Take on the 100-Day Refusal Marathon

Jia Jiang became famous for overcoming his fear of rejection by purposefully creating crazy requests to people(borrow $100, ask for a free refill at a cafe) and putting yourself in an awkward position with the goal of being refused once a day for 100 days. His goal was to get used to rejection and accept it without fear. He decided to do this after being turned down by a potential investor. Overcoming fear is not an easy task, but if you want to become confident, this is a powerful way to do it.

6. Set yourself up to win

Too many people lose confidence in their abilities because they set goals that are too difficult to achieve. Start by setting small goals that you can easily achieve.

Once you have created stream of small successes, which will help you recognize the good qualities in yourself, you can move on to more challenging goals. As you do this, keep a list of all your accomplishments, both big and small, to remind yourself of what you did well.

Instead of focusing only on your to-do list, take the time to "already done" list. Reflecting milestones, projects and goals you've achieved is a great way to gain confidence in your skills.

7. Help someone else

Helping someone often allows us to forget about ourselves and feel grateful for what we have. In addition, you do good to the person you help when you change their situation for the better.

Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, volunteer be a mentor, practically help or teach others, and you will see that you automatically become more confident.

8. Take care of yourself

To become confident, you must combine the good physical, emotional and social health. It's hard to feel good if you hate your body or constantly lack energy.

Take time to exercise, develop healthy habits and get enough sleep. Besides, dress the way you want. You have heard the saying that “clothes make the man.” Gain self-confidence by putting in effort through taking care of your own needs.

9. Create personal boundaries

Learn to say no. Teach others respect your personal boundaries. If necessary, get training on how to be more assertive and learn to ask for what you want. The more control you have over your own life, the faster you will become a confident person.

10. Move to a mentality of equality

People with low self-confidence see others as better or more deserving than themselves. Instead of carrying this perception, understand that we are all equal. Those people are no better or more worthy than you. Make the mental shift to an equality mentality and you will notice how you automatically become a more confident person.

Did this article help you?

Some people think that self-confidence is a genetic character trait. Either you are born confident or you are not. If you also have this opinion and lack self-confidence, then after reading this article you will have to admit that your opinion is wrong. Every person can develop self-confidence. By changing their thinking and behavior, every person can become a confident person. If you want to become a confident person, be sure to read this article.

Steps

Part 1

Be proud of your strengths. If you want to become a confident person, then the first thing you need to do is think about what you already have. You may think that you are an ordinary person, no different from others. In addition, you may feel that other people are much better and more attractive than you. However, if you want to become a confident person, you need to change your thinking! Make a list of your positive personality traits. It could be being a good listener or having a beautiful voice. These positive traits may mean nothing to you. But in fact, you have a lot to be proud of.

• If you like the idea of ​​creating a list of positive aspects of your personality, try to keep this list with you at all times. Add to the list whenever you think, “Oh, right, I can do that too...” Whenever you feel depressed or feel like you’re worthless, look at the list, and you’ll definitely feel better.
• Talk to a close friend about this. Ask him to name your strengths. Your friend may name character traits that, in your opinion, are not inherent in you. Remember, you know better from the outside!

1. Work on becoming an optimist. Of course, it is impossible to become an optimist quickly, just as it is impossible to build Rome in one day. However, this does not mean at all that you should not take on this matter. Develop your ability to look optimistically into the future. Optimism and confidence often go hand in hand. People who hope for a good future believe that something good will happen to them if they put in the necessary effort. Monitor your thinking by noticing how many negative thoughts you have throughout the day. Work on replacing one negative thought with at least three positive ones. With effort, you will soon see the world in a positive way.

   • Next time you're hanging out with friends, tell them about the exciting things that are happening in your life or what you're looking forward to. You will notice that your friends' attitude towards you will improve. Your mood will also improve significantly.

2. Prepare yourself. If you are prepared for any situation - within reason, of course - you can become a confident person. If you are taking a math exam in the near future, make sure you have plenty of time to prepare. If you will be giving your presentation to classmates, practice until you have your presentation ready. If you are going to a party, you must gather the necessary information related to the upcoming event. For example, you should know who will be at the party, when it will start, and other important details. Thanks to this, you will not worry about what awaits you in the evening. Although it is impossible to be completely prepared for any given situation, which is part fun and part secret of life, preparation will certainly help you feel more confident.

   • If you can say something interesting in a group of friends and contribute to the conversation, you will feel more confident than if you just sat and listened to others. Of course, you don’t need to talk all the time to feel like a confident person. However, try to talk often enough that you can see that you are making the conversation interesting.
   • You can gain information to contribute to the conversation later by reading interesting articles, watching the news, or doing research on current events or topics that interest you. When chatting with friends, bring up a topic you've been researching lately. You will feel confident because you have a lot of information on the topic under discussion.
   • If you have a certain information or skill, such as making furniture or finding the right pair of shoes for prom with ease, people may turn to you for help. You will become a more confident person if you help and benefit others.

3. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Focus all your attention on yourself and achieving your goals, instead of looking at your neighbor and complaining about how you're not as attractive/smart/confident as him. Be kind to yourself and focus on your dreams and goals. Be proud of yourself when you achieve your goal.

   Get rid of sources of negativity. Unfortunately, it is impossible to get rid of everything that may make you feel sad. However, you can make an effort to surround yourself with positive people and situations. Listen to the following tips:

   Part 2

   Take action

   1. Embrace the unknown. If you have problems with self-confidence, then, most likely, when you think about something new, you do not have interest. However, if you want to become a confident person, try doing something new for yourself. For example, try meeting new people at a party and tell them about yourself, join a dance club even if you don't know how to dance, or send your resume to a company where you can only dream of finding a job. The more time you spend doing something new, the more secure you will feel, knowing that you can handle any situation in life. Mentioned below are some tips that you can follow to embrace the unknown:

      • start small. Try starting a conversation with someone you see often but never interact with, such as the boy who sits next to you in math class or your neighbor;
      • Plan a trip to a new place, for example, visit a small town 80 km from your home. Make it a habit to visit new places and experience something new;
      • start learning a foreign language. By doing something new, you will experience pleasure and feel more self-confidence.

   2. Be willing to take risks. If a person is willing to take (reasonable) risks, they are more likely to learn something new and develop as a person. If you want to become a more confident person, don't limit yourself to something new to yourself, try doing something that causes you fear and confusion. Of course, taking risks won't always lead to great things. However, you can develop the habit of putting yourself in difficult situations and trying to get out of it. By taking risks, you will expand the boundaries of what is possible for yourself, and will not be limited to things that are familiar to you. You will understand that you can do a lot.

      • Make it a goal to step out of your comfort zone at least once a day. Try talking to the person you like. Ask him out on a date.
      • If you are unhappy with your job but are afraid of losing it, try sending your resume to another company. Even if nothing comes of it, you won't have much to lose.
      • Learn to overcome fear when you experience it. You shouldn't bungee jump if you're afraid of heights. Try taking the elevator to the top floor of a ten-story building and look out the window. This will help you understand that you can overcome what makes you afraid.

   3. Spend time with people you feel good with. By enlisting the support of loved ones, you can become a confident person. If you spend a lot of time with people who support each other and are willing to help when needed, you will become a confident person. Spend as much time as possible with people who make you feel good around you.

      • Hanging out with confident people can be a big help for you. Instead of envying them, ask yourself, “What do they do differently, and how can I develop similar qualities?” You will find that confident people are not better than you, they just think about themselves in a positive way.

   4. Do what you love. If you do what you love, you will be a happy and harmonious person. Thanks to this, you will become a confident person. If you do what you love, the creative side of your personality will improve, and you will notice significant changes in yourself, both in the workplace and in your interactions with other people. In addition, a hobby helps you find people with similar interests and gain their support, which is very important for your well-being.

      Work on your body language to reflect your confidence. Make sure your back is straight. Correct posture will make you feel more confident. If you slouch all the time, other people will think that you are unhappy with yourself and will view you as someone who lacks self-confidence. Instead, keep your back straight and your shoulders back.

      Watch your appearance. If you take enough time to take care of your appearance, very soon you will begin to perceive yourself differently, appreciating your strengths. If you want to become a confident person, follow the rules of personal hygiene: take a shower daily, comb your hair and keep your clothes clean and tidy. If you don't take care of your appearance, others will see that you don't spend enough time taking care of yourself and this will affect how they treat you.

   Part 3

   Improve yourself

   1. Learn from mistakes. Confident people do not always achieve success in everything. When faced with failure, they do not give up, but continue on their way. They learn from their mistakes, learning valuable lessons that will help them in the future. The next time you get a bad grade on a math test, fail a job interview, or get rejected when you ask someone you like out on a date, don't give up. Try to learn valuable lessons from current negative situations. Of course, sometimes life gives us unpleasant surprises and each of us can become a victim of bad luck. However, do your best to correct the situation and succeed next time.

      • Many people are familiar with the phrase: “If it doesn’t work out the first time, then...”. This is actually a true statement. Think about how boring life would be if you had everything going for you. Instead, view failure as an opportunity to achieve your goal next time.
      • It is important to admit your mistake and accept the unpleasant consequences associated with it.

   2. Play sports. Of course, after just one exercise session you are unlikely to experience the full health benefits. However, if you exercise for at least 30 minutes every day or several times a week, you will feel better. Exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, which makes a person feel happy and satisfied, and also has a beneficial effect on his physical health. It's a win-win. Exercise when it suits you and you will become a confident person.

      • Think about how exercise provides an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. You may feel nervous at the thought of taking a yoga or Zumba class, but trust me, once you attend your first class, you will realize that your fears were unfounded.
      • You just need to be yourself. Don't let anyone force you to be different, that's the only way you can truly be a confident person.
      • Remember, within every person there is hidden potential. Tap into your best self by setting goals for yourself. Success is the true key to self-confidence.
      • Walk with your head held high, keep your shoulders back and look straight ahead.
      • Every night before going to bed, praise yourself and say nice words to yourself.
      • Strive to have good relationships with other people. Don't offend people because it can backfire on you and cause you to lose self-confidence. Don't be rude.
      • Do everything you can to make a good impression on people you know and strangers.

Self-confidence gives you many advantages. It will help you do your job better, get recognition and appreciation for it, and also achieve promotions and salary increases. It will also help you attract the attention of the opposite sex. Simply put: it will help you get what you want in life.

On the other hand, shyness and lack of self-confidence can seriously hinder your efforts and prevent you from getting what you want (and deserve). That's why we decided to dedicate an entire article to helping you become more confident. But you should not forget that this is a rather complex process. You can't transform into a confident person overnight.

Uncertainty has ruined so many opportunities.
Erich Maria Remarque

12 ways a woman can become self-confident

1. Use positive affirmations

You can write positive affirmations on a piece of paper and place it somewhere you can see it (on the wall or on the refrigerator), or you can write them directly on the mirror with a marker. This is exactly what I do. When I wash my face in the morning, I have no choice but to look at these inscriptions. I have another interesting thought about how to make positive affirmations a part of your life. I already mentioned this in the addition to the previous article.

2. Fake confidence until you really are.

The more you do and say something, the more you believe it. If you want to be more confident, behave like confident people behave! It will feel a little strange at first, but don't let yourself be deterred. Time will pass, and you will notice that your behavior has become completely natural.

3. Dress smart

4. Speak loudly

There are other people who say little; they stand quietly, and even if they are asked a question, they answer in such a way that they can only be heard with great difficulty. Next time you speak at a meeting, project your voice, speak up. You will see for yourself the impact this has on your self-confidence.

5. Sit in the front row

When you sit in the front row, you place yourself among these people. You let others know that you are one of the most important people, so they treat you as such. You will also notice that you yourself begin to behave differently. In this way, you put yourself at the center of attention - outside of your usual comfort zone. All attention is on you. You have no choice but to feel confident. When faced with a situation where there is no alternative, we adapt surprisingly quickly.

In this life, you only need ignorance and self-confidence - and success is guaranteed to you.
Mark Twain

6. Body language

We try to make ourselves as small as possible so that people don't notice us. We try to curl up, thereby reducing our exposure surface. This behavior shows a lack of confidence. You can achieve increased self-confidence if you use the “body language” inherent to a person who feels confident. There are many articles on this topic, some of them can be found on our website.

7. Take care of yourself

Do the same for yourself. Change your hairstyle. Tidy up your nails. Update your wardrobe. Start exercising to become more energetic. When you feel comfortable in your body, you will begin to project good mood onto other people.

8. Play to your strengths

We rarely say just “thank you”, without any “buts”. But think for yourself. After all, if someone takes the time to tell you something nice, then they really mean it. Why can't you just accept kind words? Why do most of us tend to downplay our accomplishments? If you have done something good, put it on your record. After all, you deserve it! Allow yourself to believe all the good things people say about you. This is the easiest and least expensive way to boost your confidence.

In many cultures (including mine), it is considered not very polite if you simply accept a compliment. This is perceived as rudeness and arrogance. So for people coming from such cultures, this task is more difficult. Still, it's worth a try.

Self-confidence is sometimes a big stupidity. Only fools have no doubts.
Benicio Del Toro

10. Avoid perfectionism

Take a look at some of the confident people around you. Are they perfect? Treat yourself fairer and be more tolerant of your mistakes and shortcomings. They don't rob you of your talents and strengths.

11. Appreciate what you have already achieved

No matter what position you are in right now, it's safe to say that you've had a lot more accomplishments in your life than you think. We tend to look to the future and always compare ourselves to an imagined, perfect model of the person we would like to be. Or with the model that we need to achieve our goals.

You are looking into a future where the ideal person you have imagined has a lot of money, is happy and has a beautiful home. Then you come back to the present and become depressed and start to feel like a failure for being so far from your dreams. However, we often forget how much we have already come and what we have achieved. We rarely look into the past to remember who we were a few years ago and compare with who we have become.

12. Set small goals for the near future.

A great way to deal with this problem is to set smaller goals that represent steps along the way to solving one big task. With this approach, every goal achieved helps you regain self-confidence and confidence. The next time your boss approves of an idea, consider it a success. A nice guy/man asks for your phone number for further communication? Have a party! Have you finished everything you had to do today? Congratulate yourself! Fill your life with small joys, and in return they will make you feel like a successful person.

Your turn

Low self-esteem is not the best assistant on the path to success and self-realization. Even after realizing why uncertainty arose, it is not always possible to gain self-confidence. What is this connected with? Most likely with the degree of neglect of such a condition. Like a disease that is quite easy to treat in the early stages and much more difficult if it is not treated in time. So the uncertainty that sits in a person for years, over time, becomes part of his life. Is there a way out of this situation? How to gain self-confidence after many years of being “below the plinth”? First of all, raise your head, open your eyes and start reading this article.

Techniques to help you gain self-confidence

We will not analyze the reasons for lowering self-esteem. After all, recommendations on how to gain self-confidence work equally effectively, regardless of why a person has become less confident in his abilities. The reasons are not so important because they are already in the past. Ways that help fix everything are much more important, because the future depends on them. The only thing we can recommend is to go through it in order to understand exactly how hard you will have to work.

So, to increase self-esteem the following will help:

• Success Diary;
• Active lifestyle;
• Friends and Relationships;
• Interesting hobby;
• Daily affirmations;
• Attention to your appearance;
• Motivational videos or books.

If you use all the points from this list, gaining self-confidence will be even easier and faster.

Success Diary

Sometimes, “trying to reach for the stars,” people do not notice life itself, ceasing to enjoy it. For example, if someone has one failure at getting a new job, that doesn't mean they haven't had dozens of successes at something else. Why dwell on failure when there are achievements? A good tip on how to gain self-confidence is to start a Success Diary where you write down all your daily victories. You don’t have to wait for new achievements; you can remember what has already been done and start writing it down, regularly adding new achievements. In those moments when self-esteem begins to suffer and one’s hands give up, it is enough to re-read this diary, reminding oneself of one’s victories.

Active lifestyle

In order for the Success Diary to turn into a real library, it is advisable to accustom yourself to an active lifestyle. Every day gives many opportunities for self-realization. If you don't miss them, it will become obvious how to gain confidence. For example, you can enroll in graphic design courses, successfully complete them, receive a certificate, and thereby increase your self-esteem. Or, go dancing, becoming more confident at discos. If you don’t want or have the opportunity to spend money, then there are dozens of free activities: all kinds of flash mobs, exhibitions, literary evenings, volunteer projects, social initiatives, etc. It’s enough just to Google posters or announcements of your city. The search engine will instantly return dozens of offers for the near future.

Friends and relationships

The more active a person is, the wider his social circle, the greater the chances of finding company and meeting his love. True friends will always support and come to the rescue, and a life partner will not let you doubt your personal significance. But for them to appear, you need to get off the couch and leave the house. Social media or mobile apps, for all their potential, will never replace relationships and friendships. But some kind of joint project or real hobby will definitely tell you how to gain confidence and find like-minded people.

A person’s hobby is an activity that he or she likes, and accordingly, the desire to engage in it is much stronger than to study or work. If a person does something with interest, then success in this type of activity is much more realistic. Accordingly, a hobby is an excellent option for gaining self-confidence. For example, some office worker, without much career prospects, can be a first-class martial arts instructor. In addition to the purely psychological aspect associated with increasing self-esteem, a hobby very often becomes the work of a person’s entire life, gradually providing him with income and recognition.

Daily Affirmations

How to gain self-confidence if you have doubts about your capabilities? In addition to working on yourself, it is advisable to practice self-hypnosis - regularly repeating how wonderful and successful we are. This practice is called affirmations - a clear statement that attracts expected changes into a person’s life. For example, someone finds it difficult to get a job because they are unsure of their potential. If such a person begins to repeat to himself every morning, looking in the mirror, one simple phrase: “I am very promising, all employers are interested in me, the best job is mine,” then gradually he will believe it himself. And self-confidence ensures the achievement of your goals.

Attention to your appearance

An equally important point for men and women. Of course, there are specifics, but being well-groomed, clean and fit is important for everyone. It is absolutely not necessary to spend significant money for this. Clothes can be simple, but neat and tasteful. Expensive gyms can be replaced with a free sports ground or running track in the nearest park. You will see for yourself how much easier it will become to gain self-confidence if you are confident about your appearance.

Motivational videos or books

The Internet is full of all kinds of motivators or success stories that are freely available. Literally everything is explained there. How to gain self-confidence, how to meet a girl, how to find a job, how to assemble a thermonuclear reactor in the kitchen. Anything. There is even a book “How to control the Universe without attracting the attention of orderlies.” So, instead of another soap opera or highbrow show, you can, for a change, read or watch something inspiring. Who knows, maybe one of these motivators will radically change someone's life, showing the path to success and recognition.

Asking the question “How to gain self-confidence?” - this is very good and correct. A person, at a minimum, realizes that something is wrong in his life and needs to be corrected. This is not something to be ashamed of. It's worse when someone doesn't even realize that their self-esteem is low. If he is regularly told that he deserves more than he gives himself, this is a reason to think about it and make every possible effort to gain self-confidence. After all, adequate self-esteem makes life much easier and allows you to realize yourself to the fullest.