How to talk to your boss - rules of communication. How to build a relationship with your boss - be smarter than the tyrant boss

Most people believe that promotion requires some rare, exceptional skills and remarkable professionalism. Unfortunately, even this may not be enough: to achieve a promotion, you will also have to develop communication skills. It is very important how exactly you talk to your boss, what kind of relationship you are in: if you bicker like two wild dogs, there is a high probability that the boss will choose a colleague who is more attractive to him, and not you, for a higher position. But there is no need to overdo it either: no one likes a sucker. You can learn how to properly communicate with your superiors in order to get promoted by reading our article.

Don't suck up

Most reasonable people are cool with suck-ups, and the fact that colleagues can’t stand the boss’s “favorites” is probably known to almost everyone. Cheap and undisguised flattery is always visible: trying to please your boss, you deliberately humiliate yourself in front of him, reducing the level of his respect for you. If your boss idolizes sycophants, then most likely you are not very lucky with him: getting a promotion in an honest way will be very difficult. Previously, we already talked about the 6 main signs that indicate that it’s time for you to change jobs: you can learn more about this from the article that we prepared specially.

Stock up on arguments

Very often, bosses are annoyed by those who ask for a raise literally out of nowhere: the salary is already slightly higher than the market average, there are fewer responsibilities, there are often more corporate bonuses, but this particular Ivanov decided that he should be paid more, for example, because of a loan taken out foolishly or debts that cannot be paid off with the current salary. So remember: the “well, I don’t have enough” argument is not an argument. Try to put yourself in the boss’s shoes: suppose, how do you react when the price of a familiar service increases, but the essence of the service itself remains unchanged? We believe that it is negative, and your boss thinks the same way when you, out of the blue, ask for a promotion or an increase in salary. That is why it is worth carefully preparing your arguments: if the salary in other companies for a position identical to yours is more than what you are currently receiving, make a list accordingly and present it to your boss. If the average salary is the same, tell your boss that you will perform additional duties (but we warn you that words alone are not enough, you will have to actually do what you promised). In addition, increased qualifications can be used as an argument for increasing your salary or position: if you have really improved your skills, and even “grew” as a specialist, it is quite reasonable to ask for a small increase for your knowledge and skills.

Master the “language of numbers”

Most bosses simply hate it when subordinates, turning to them on any issue, start from afar, mumble and cannot say exactly what they want or what exactly the problem is. Instead of looking around fearfully and coming up with answers to questions that haven’t yet been asked, speak clearly and distinctly; answer only the question asked by your boss, and, if possible, use numbers and facts, not emotions. For example, a formulation like “since the beginning of this year I have begun to bring more benefit to the company” will not work: it is subjective and not supported by anything. Instead, try to prove your judgments: say, something like “since 01/01/2018, my sales volume has increased by 25%” will do - this way you will show your boss specific numbers, based on which he can draw appropriate conclusions and at least roughly determine the position , which you can borrow, or the size of the salary increase.

Never threaten to quit if you're not ready to quit.

In almost every company there is a category of employees who constantly promise to quit, threaten to leave for competitors, but for some reason the treasured statement is not found on the HR officer’s desk. Everyone has long been accustomed to such outbursts, and the authorities do not react to this in any way: they say, they swam, we know he will not go anywhere. Before you “raise the issue head on” and seriously discuss the possibility of dismissal with your boss, carefully consider all possible options: for example, you decided to “scare” the boss a little, and he agreed to fire you - you never know what candidates he has for the job. will you accept? When you offer this option for solving a pressing problem, be prepared to actually quit. If you only promise and threaten, you can forget about moving up the career ladder forever: the boss will understand that your words are worthless, and for a promotion he will certainly select a candidate who can be fully responsible for his words.

Career growth depends not only on your abilities, but also on successful relationships with management.

In the army, the response to any order is “I obey, commander!”, but the main part of our professions does not imply such categorical execution of an order. Therefore, often after the next meeting with the boss a number of questions arise: “Did the boss understand me correctly?”, “Maybe I said something wrong?” Really, what can you tell your boss that you shouldn’t? And under what circumstances?

So, want to get a promotion at work or a raise? What to talk about at a corporate party if management is nearby? Addressing these issues requires carefully thought-out tactics.

Every boss has his own leadership style

How many bosses there are, so many leadership styles, “correct” forms of behavior and business etiquette! Therefore, the main advice in order to get along with the boss and work effectively under his leadership. - be flexible and attentive. Observe your boss's reaction to your actions. Any boss (like any person) has his own fears. The tyrant is afraid of losing authority. “Caring mommy” - to be unnecessary. Familiar” - to be perceived as a tyrant.

Knowing your boss's vulnerabilities, try to work around them. In addition, when communicating with our boss, we subconsciously rely on the model and scenario of relationships with important adults from our childhood. And we inevitably face the need to overcome those fears, complexes and difficulties that have remained since those times. By changing your attitude, you can communicate much more calmly and collaborate more effectively with almost any boss.

How to ask for a salary increase

You work hard, the company is successful, the business is developing, and, of course, this is your contribution, but for some reason you never received the long-awaited promotion or salary increase. What to do? The laws of justice have clearly been violated. We must go to the boss! But what should I tell him, how can I influence his decision?

Defend your opinion, assure that you are the best, enlist the support of your colleagues, or maybe draw up a detailed plan for the tasks you have completed - what to choose? Here, in each specific case, you need to act differently. Here are some general guidelines to help you develop a model for persuading your bosses.

Don't be afraid to go to your boss for a salary increase

Action plan. You need to understand that any salary increase or career growth is, first of all, an assessment of your performance, and, to some extent, encouragement for a promising employee. Therefore, before you go to your boss, think over and clearly formulate all the affairs and responsibilities for which you are responsible, analyze what your contribution to the development of the common cause is, think about what you can offer your company for the future!

Try to assess your abilities adequately so as not to get into an awkward position. You need to specifically understand for what merit you want a promotion or what kind of salary increase you expect to receive. With this attitude, it will be much easier for you to convince your boss.

Place and time. Well, if the plan has already matured in your head and the last doubts have left you, then it’s time to act. To begin with, however, it is tedious to decide at what time and with what words it is best to appear with a request. Psychologists say that the most ideal time is Friday afternoon.

Choose the right time and place to visit the boss

Then the person is usually in a rosy mood, hoping for a happy weekend. And if you are a truly valuable employee, then the boss is unlikely to want to worry for two whole days about the fate of such a person necessary for the company.

What to say? The conversation should be structured in such a way that the boss is sure that the idea of ​​a promotion or salary increase has appeared in his head for a long time, you just voiced it first. Your speech should be reasoned and a little emotional.

Give reasons for your salary conversation

You can start like this: “As you know, I have been working here for six months now, and my responsibilities have expanded significantly recently, so I believe that the previous salary agreement can be reconsidered. I understand that this issue cannot be resolved immediately; I myself came to you after much thought. I think that your decision will be correct in any case. "Thank you in advance".

Turn your boss into your ally, infect him with your zeal - then he will have no choice but to satisfy your request, and do it easily and joyfully.

How to ask your boss for help

“Ask your boss for advice or help? Never in my life! What if he thinks that I’m an incompetent worker” - we often become hostage to our stereotypes. Of course, you should not turn to your boss for help on any minor issue, but if it concerns the prospects for the development of the company or the introduction of a new idea, you should definitely consult with the manager. Firstly, in this way you recognize the unconditional authority of your boss, and secondly, you will relieve yourself of some responsibility for the decision made. And in the end you will get a better product from your activities. Actually, this is the result you work for!

Place and time. It is best to seek advice from your boss in the middle of the working day. When a person is already included in the work process, but at the same time is not tired yet. Then he is able to quickly react and generate new ideas, find correct and effective solutions to problems.

Consult with your boss in the middle of the working day for a quick and correct answer

Psychologists advise not to go to your boss with important questions first thing in the morning, when usually there is a huge number of urgent matters to resolve and management simply does not have time for you. And also late in the evening, when everyone is already ready to relax and wants to go home.

What to say? The main rule is not to be afraid of the boss, to cast aside all doubts. A confident voice, good diction, direct gaze will become your best assistants at a reception with the boss. You shouldn’t delay the introduction for a long time or start from afar; it’s better to get straight to the point - ask a question that worries you or suggest an idea. Watch his reaction carefully. If your boss doesn't understand what you're talking about, then briefly state the problem. And even if your proposal or initiative turns out to be unnecessary, the boss will at least point out mistakes and... will probably tell you in which direction to develop.

Always be confident in yourself towards your boss

By the way, the ability to admit your mistakes and ask for help is sometimes valued no less than your professional skills. Specialists from recruiting firms unanimously reiterate that the management of almost any company in their resume in the “Personal Qualities” column most values ​​the desire for development, the desire to develop and learn, and the ability to ask for help and advice from their superiors in a timely manner.

Conquer fear, because it is better to prevent a problem than to later look for ways to overcome the consequences of your rash act.

How to behave at a corporate event

If the rules for communicating with your boss in a formal setting are more or less defined, then how to behave at office parties, corporate events and business lunches? What to talk about, what to wear, what to eat and drink - questions of this nature often cause bewilderment and require special preparation. We should not forget that we are all, first of all, just people, and then “bosses and subordinates,” and we cannot do without personal sympathies. After all, recent sociological studies show that most promotions and salary increases occur precisely after informal events.

Time and place. It is very important to come to a corporate event on time, without delays or spectacular appearances - any boss will appreciate knowledge of business etiquette.

Always show up to corporate events on time

It is known that management, as a rule, does not stay long at such events, so if you are late, you risk being on the list of those who did not come. and this is, at a minimum, disrespect towards your colleagues and the company you work for.

What to say? A casual conversation on distant topics is a win-win option. This is what will help erase the boundaries of formality between us. Psychologists do not recommend touching on work issues; put them off until you come to work. Also, you should not be too frank or provoke the boss himself to be frank.

Give a toast on behalf of the team, saying that you are part of the whole group

If the boss is a man, it is not recommended to flirt with him. this is unlikely to help you gain a good reputation. It is necessary to keep your distance even during a casual conversation. If it is not possible to communicate with your superiors, then you can make a short speech or toast. It should be spoken on behalf of the team, betting that you are part of the team. The boss will definitely approve of your enthusiasm for the common cause. You definitely won't go unnoticed!

And remember, you can find an approach to any person. And your boss is no exception to the rule!

How do you feel when you are going to report to your manager? Fear? Lack of self-confidence?

Communication with a manager is not taught in schools, but we all have to take an exam in this subject when we start our careers. And failing this exam could cost you your career.

Personally, my experience in how to report to my boss came later, when I myself became a manager and realized how awkward reports are made by subordinates if no one taught them how to do it.

And if you are a manager yourself, then simply forward the link to this article to your subordinates. Better yet, collect them, scroll through the slides you see above, and go through the points from the article. The result will be the establishment of a set of common rules between you, the observance of which will make your communication more effective to your mutual satisfaction.

Before talking to the manager

1. Report without reminders

“I can’t be everyone’s secretary and constantly remind them of deadlines. Sometimes it seems to me that people simply ignore the tasks and deadlines that I have set for them.”

- your boss thinks.

Don't turn your boss into a living alarm clock. Don't force your manager to descend to the level of micromanagement and remind you of report deadlines.

If the task is not ready, write to him about it yourself with a brief explanation of the reasons and a new deadline. It is better to show that you did not have time to complete the task than, by the absence of a report, to give him reason to think that you ignored the task altogether.

If the task is ready and you have something to brag about, then ask for a meeting and show your results.

2. Don't keep problems to yourself

“If I was not informed about the problem in advance, then it does not exist and the task must be completed on time.”

- your boss thinks.

When you keep a problem to yourself, you deprive your manager of the opportunity to intervene in time and help you. In addition, if you do not report the problem on time, it means that you do not need help and you can handle the problem yourself.

When should you report a problem? When you realized that she will not let you complete the task on time or to the specified standard. After that, you tried to solve it yourself and it didn’t work out. Then, no sooner and no later, go to your boss and ask for help.

3. Don’t come unprepared.

“When a person cannot answer a single counter-question, doubts arise as to whether he has understood the problem properly or is trying to throw me a half-finished product?”

- your boss thinks.

Work through in advance all the questions that may be asked to you, all alternative solutions to the problem. Be prepared to explain how the numbers you bring come about and why they are correct.

Otherwise, you will irritate the boss and be sent for revision - you will lose your reputation and time.

4. Plan your conversation

It only takes a minute but is very useful. As a rule, you manage to get to the manager less often than you would like, so for each conversation several questions accumulate, and this list will allow you not to forget anything.

Take a blank sheet of paper and write down what you want from this conversation. There can be 4 types of such goals:

1. Convey the information he wants to know: report on completed tasks, deadline shifts, important news, etc.
2. Convey the information you want him to know: your compliance with deadlines, your initiatives and proposals, problems that have arisen and the necessary help.
3. Get information that will be useful to you: clarification of the task, news from related companies, statuses of issues important to you.
4. Get a solution to the issue you need.

If a question is difficult to understand or you expect it to cause controversy, write down the logic of your report on it—your arguments and conclusions.

When reporting to the manager

The usual algorithm for a report: state the purpose of the conversation, give data, give conclusions, give solutions, give your recommendation.

5. No foreplay

“Is this still “getting in touch” or do I need to “get into” what he says?”

- your boss thinks.

Immediately say directly what you need: “I want to report on the results”, “there is a problem”, “needs to be solved”, “needs to be agreed upon”, “there is a question”, etc.

The leader must set his consciousness to the correct mode: “I solve the problem,” “I accept the results,” “I make the decision,” etc. Until he is tuned in correctly, he will not be able to effectively perceive your information.

6. He's not Nostradamus

“He didn’t even bother to ask whether I was aware of this topic or not. Is this selfishness or incompetence?

- your boss thinks.

Think about what your manager knows and what he doesn’t, and bring him up to speed. Until he is in the same context as you, you will not have effective communication.

Don't skip logical links. The “storyline” of your story should be continuous. If something is taken for granted for you, it is not at all a fact that your manager is obliged to guess the logical connection that you decided to skip.

7. Take out the trash

“Why should I dig into this verbal trash heap? Why couldn’t a coherent report be prepared in advance?”

- your boss thinks.

Remove from your narrative all information that is not relevant. This includes information that is relevant but unverified or inconclusive. You risk taking the conversation astray or complicating it unnecessarily.

Determine what managerial decision you need and exclude from the report that information that does not bring you closer to it. Of course, it is important to know when to stop - distorting or falsifying information is unacceptable.

8. More numerals, fewer adjectives

“I really want my subordinates to rely on facts, and not on judgments and emotions. To do this, they must get used to communicating in the language of numbers.”

- your boss thinks.

Statements without numbers sound baseless. Until specific numbers and facts begin to be heard in the conversation, people are just exchanging subjective judgments, not getting one iota closer to the truth.

If you want to convince your manager of something, the shortest way to do this is through preparing analytics. The most amazing thing is that the numbers obtained can surprise you and change your own judgment on the issue under discussion.

9. Be more specific and transparent

“It’s like I have to use pincers to extract answers from employees in order to achieve a complete understanding of the situation. Are they hiding something or just didn’t delve into the details themselves?”

- your boss thinks.

In response to the question “when”, give the date. When asked “who,” give a name. To the question “how much” - a number: quantity, amount or percentage. The sooner you provide specific data, the sooner you will end this protracted conversation.

10. Don’t give data without conclusions.

“And why do I need this bunch of tables? Did he try to figure them out himself or does he not care about this issue at all?”

- your boss thinks.

It is not the numbers that are important, but your ability to draw conclusions from them.

A good employee is an independent employee. After all, if you understand that after receiving data there will be a stage of analysis, and after analysis there will be decision-making, then why don’t you try to walk this road yourself?

By giving the boss the initial data without conclusions, you are telling him “now this is your problem.” And, of course, no one likes this. A much better approach would be "I understand this is my problem, and here's how I'm trying to solve it."

11. Don’t come without offers.

“If I come up with a solution for him now, then he will remain in my “manual control” all his life. Let him learn to think with his own head.”

- your boss thinks.

As the saying goes, “If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.” Always come not only with a problem, but also with suggestions for eliminating it. Preferably in several versions.

Let your manager only have to approve your idea. Let him see that he is a motivated, independent employee.

12. Don't leave without a decision.

"I'm tired. I do not want to decide anything. I want a bonus."

- your boss thinks.

You came to get a solution (see point 4). .

But making decisions is not easy. Your boss will avoid this. Keep your goal in mind and bring the conversation back to making a decision.

In case of counter questions from the manager

13. Answer the question asked in your first sentence.

“Well, why do I need all these jumping and antics? I'm asking a specific question and I want a specific answer. If something is unclear to me, I will ask the following question. There's no need to waste time trying to answer questions I didn't ask."

- your boss thinks.

If the boss asks a question, then, as a rule, he already understands in advance what and in what order he will ask next. He has already built a conversation outline for himself and wants to conduct the conversation in exactly this direction.

There is no need to try to think out his question for himself and answer the question that he did not ask, but which he seems to imply. Answer the literally posed question right away. All the details, reasons and logical explanations will come later. If they ask.

14. The truth and nothing but the truth

“Can I, in principle, work with a person who is trying to deceive me? After all, he not only demonstrates his unreliability by trying to lie to me, but also his stupidity by hoping that I won’t catch him in a lie.”

- your boss thinks.

There is no need to invent anything in an attempt to answer a difficult question. There is no need to complete reality when there are no facts. You will still be exposed. It’s much easier and faster to admit that you don’t know something or haven’t done something, and move on.

15. Don’t blame your subordinates

“If a person does not understand that he is responsible to me for the actions of his subordinates, then this is a clinical case. We have a hierarchy. I am responsible to my boss for all my subordinates, and they are responsible to me for theirs.”

- your boss thinks.

The task is given to you, and you are also responsible for it. You can delegate a task to your subordinates, but this does not relieve you of responsibility for its implementation. When you delegate, additional responsibilities arise between you and your subordinate, but your original responsibility to your boss does not disappear.

16. Don't waste time making excuses.

“The more I listen to excuses, the more my subordinates will hope that they can get rid of me with a nice story in the absence of results.”

- your boss thinks.

If your boss is results-oriented, then the reasons for his absence (especially those that are revealed only at the time of the report - see point 2) are of little interest to him.

Therefore, do not waste time on excuses - it is better to spend it on completing your task.

When receiving a task

17. Questions right away

If, in response to your report, you receive another task, and you don’t understand something about it, immediately ask questions. It is better to look stupid when receiving a task than to turn it in by doing the wrong thing.

Conclusion

As you can see, the listed rules are quite simple and even somewhat obvious. However, in my experience, there are very few people who systematically perform them - this requires courage and self-discipline. Try to adhere to them, and believe me, you will be guaranteed the trust and support of management.

See also:

• 18 recommendations on how to overcome tension and fear when communicating with your superiors.
• Owner and manager: how to avoid conflicts. Tips for the manager.

What is the most difficult thing for you in communicating with a manager?

» Bad Bosses 2

Dealing with a “difficult” manager
(Methods of confronting tyrant bosses)

Knowing the different types of difficult managers, identifying them, and dealing with them can help you build healthier, more productive relationships with your supervisors. Below we describe the types of “difficult bosses”, as well as some recommendations for correctly building a behavior strategy for their subordinates.

First of all, difficult leaders share several common characteristics. Firstly: even if you personally do not have a good relationship with your boss, this does not mean that your boss is in the “difficult” category. Perhaps you just don't get along. Not only you, but also the majority of his subordinate employees should be firmly convinced that “the boss is an asshole.” Secondly: such bosses are very constant in their “difficult” behavior. They have a rigidly fixed style - this is their original "set of quirks", unique distinctive features that they use to control others. Such bosses are literally fixated on their style of behavior. Therefore, their subordinates know in advance what they are going to do - even before they do it. Thirdly: communication with such managers takes a lot of energy and nerves from their employees. Fourth: the energy expended by employees when contacting them is usually not commensurate with the importance of the problem being addressed. And finally, any of these bosses can be either male or female.

Types of “difficult” leaders .

1. "Mafia" ("bull")- a classic character in jokes and gangster television series. Looks like a boxer, wrestler or criminal. A shaved head or a short haircut, a “bull neck”, “a golden chain on that oak tree...” Not tortured by education - vocational school or technical school. Likes simple types of business that do not require a lot of brain power (market, gas station, car service, parking lot). Specific primitive speech with a large number of words that cannot be translated into foreign languages. He drinks a lot (expensive cognac, whiskey, vodka), smokes, and sometimes uses drugs. He drives a jeep, lives in a mansion or cottage, and loves gambling. Likes to “relax” on vacation abroad or “with the girls” in an expensive nightclub. He likes to talk loudly on his cell phone on the beach: “Well, I have everything covered there, I have three companies, I installed young guys with diplomas as directors, the tax office was bought...”. Usually not obligatory in negotiations and business contacts, he deceives when he is confident in the “roof”. There is complete chaos and low wages when working with personnel. Divides people into those who are stronger and weaker than him. He is afraid of the former and despises the latter. Disdain for everyone who is weaker than him, who agrees with him and is inferior to him is a characteristic feature of such a person. Often feels the desire to publicly humiliate and suppress his subordinates. Feels the greater anger and desire to humiliate, the more helpless and weak the victim looks.

2. "New Russian"- in recent years, he has greatly displaced the previous type of bosses. Most often young, about 30 years old, educated, very rich. The origin of the fortune is not advertised, most often financial fraud with the bank or the use of budget funds. Higher education - economic, legal, sometimes technical. He does not suffer from deep mental anguish. No problems with public morals or corporate ethics. Ready to “walk over corpses” without hesitation. He deeply despises everyone who is below him on the social ladder, but outwardly observes the limits of decency. An introvert (closed personality), usually does not show emotions when communicating with subordinates. Looks to the side or through a person in a conversation. If the topic or the interlocutors are not interesting to him, then he is ready to end the conversation in 3-5 minutes (“hard style”). Always dressed well, maintains excellent physical shape, does not drink alcohol or in small quantities, interest in women (men) is moderate. Prefers to hire highly qualified personnel (lawyer, accountant, manager) for the organization. He pays very well for his work, but if there are any mistakes, he kicks you out without a second thought.

3. "Authority"- a domineering, strong leader of an authoritarian style, does not tolerate objections. This is the image of the “red director,” a traditional Soviet leader: strict, respectable, experienced, responsible and knowledgeable of the “real economy of the country.” His development as a leader was associated with party and economic work. Therefore, I got used to honoring rank and hierarchy. Subordinates who do not want to look up to him cause an aggressive reaction because they break his ideas about what is proper. Lives by the proverb “the boss is always right.” He can quickly fire a disobedient person, even his closest assistant. In general, he is reluctant to let people who are not part of his inner circle get close to him.

Outwardly, he seems to be a simple-minded and even masculine person, not prone to reflection. But it is not always the case. He drinks a lot, enjoys good food and the company of women after work. He has an extraordinary will and powerful energy. The need for power and control over people is extremely developed. Addressing subordinates as “you” (an old habit of Soviet and party leaders) Expects from subordinates not so much approval and admiration for their person, but unquestioning execution of orders

In dealing with subordinates, he is cruel, but open and ready to listen to arguments expressed in the proper form. He quickly makes decisions, which are not always justified and fair, and “cuts from the shoulder.” In modern business it is difficult to master - this is a disappearing type of leader. Sooner or later it loses in competition to the “new Russians”. With his departure from the enterprise, an entire era ends, and it is always painful, but the team remembers him as a good “red director.”

4. "Napoleon"- usually (but not always) small in stature, unprepossessing appearance, a lot of complexes. The level of intelligence is most often average (“there are not enough stars in the sky”). Strive for power to heal your psychological traumas. Since childhood, I felt inferior: girls didn’t pay attention, guys beat me, adults humiliated me, I had to constantly catch up with the “lucky ones.” Over time, the desire to overcome his shortcomings acquired the character of overcompensation, encouraging him to develop and improve himself. He took it with diligence, diligence and hard work (“butt”). Very vain, he barely made it to the top. More than anything else, he is afraid of losing his position and status. Disciplined, smart, an organizer by nature, an introvert. Behavior in a team is “from rags to riches.” Loves himself and his achievements. He is vindictive until the end of his life, touchy, does not forgive jokes and criticism, prefers flattery, loves when his merits, office, works and achievements are praised.

5. "Important Bird" or “cheek puffer” is a fairly common type of middle-level manager who has recently become a boss. Likes to pretend to be a “high-flying bird.” He puts on a mysterious air, making it clear to those around him and his subordinates that he knows and can do a lot, that he has “his hand everywhere” (the mayor, the governor, the president himself). In fact, this leader became a boss solely by chance. Mediocre abilities: intuitive personality type, low or average level of intelligence, poor memory and analytical skills, arrogant. Focused on personal and family needs, he never forgets himself, but he does not steal on a large scale, does not take large bribes - he is afraid of losing his position forever. In the work team, he prefers weak subordinates, conflicts, “slanders” and flattery. Such a hero was perfectly played by Igor Ilyinsky in the film “Volga-Volga”.

6. "Organizer" ("Enthusiast"). Constantly on the move, extremely sociable (choleric), prefers to quickly solve operational problems to the detriment of strategic ones, he is distinguished by a high level of intelligence. More often he is chubby, bald, and overweight. The external image of a friendly, lively, enthusiastic interlocutor can quickly organize the implementation of any task and mobilize the work team to achieve the goal. However, he is capable of driving his subordinates to quiet madness with his idiotic undertakings and “valuable” initiatives. Therefore, the first managers rarely emerge from the “organizer” - most often he gets to the chief engineer, deputy for economics or personnel. The office and desk are always littered with papers, documents, newspapers, the secretary does not trust to sort them out, he navigates thanks to his excellent memory and “social acumen.”

7. "Cunning fox"- outwardly always smiling, pleasant person. Received a good education, a comprehensively developed personality, definitely has a hobby (drawing, writing poetry, numismatist, plays music), a creative type of personality, choleric or phlegmatic, focused on the surrounding reality, quickly reacts to changes in the environment, usually has no problems with morality, moves away from conflicts. He has the firm authority of an important person among the top leader; people come to him for advice. These managers make up the main specialists (chief accountant, chief legal adviser, chief technologist, HR assistant). In operational work with him, it is important to document the progress of negotiations, endorse documents (he does not like this), draw up minutes of meetings and reach agreement. Without this, he may refuse the agreement. In a team, he prefers silence and minor conflicts, does not like authoritarianism, but is forced to obey his superior.

8. "Eminence grise"- a very strong personality in a team, prefers to be “in the shadows” and in supporting roles with a young or old leader, usually aged 50 years or older, suffered a serious illness that is always in him. He has an excellent education, very high intelligence, excellent memory and vast production or personnel experience. Outwardly ascetic in appearance, thin, gloomy, introverted, nothing can be read from his face, a widower or unhappy in his family life. He does not accept gifts or bribes, he does not make decisions himself, he likes to prepare decisions and implement them through top management (“Your idea”), he is a good diplomat, and he respects the interests of the enterprise or organization. Historical images: Cardinal Richelieu and member of the Politburo of the CPSU Central Committee M. A. Suslov.

9. "Bully" loud, persistent, firm, menacing, aggressive, and it is said that he has influential friends in high places (often the “bully” does this himself). Bullies have a strong desire to control others; For them, life is an ongoing struggle for power.

Bullies are afraid of two things: their own imperfections and any form of intimacy. When dealing with this type of leader, stand up straight, look and speak openly, call him by name to get his attention without taking a fighting stance, and try to solve your problem with him. Try to control your own fear, since fear only incites (“turns on”) a leader of this type. Don't show your anxiety and give the bully time to vent his anger.

When the bully's offensive impulse begins to wane, it's your turn to take the initiative. Avoid "any collision." Be friendly but firm. Smile if it seems appropriate, but don't be intimidated. Focus on the problem and your needs. If you show respect rather than fear, the bully will look for another “victim.”

10. "Bear" usually friendly, nice and well-wishing. However, such leaders have two main disadvantages: they postpone decisions at all costs and make do with statements of a general nature, avoiding being specific. Slow managers are actually victims of demanding, meticulous parenting; They put off tasks to avoid trouble, beat around the bush, avoid being honest, and are afraid of hurting someone's feelings.

Slow managers are afraid of making a mistake that could expose their professional inadequacy and failures. If your manager is slow, try to detect this in a “hidden barrier” situation. Be confident and let him know that it's easy to make mistakes when you're learning something. Ask what he means when he uses vague or ambiguous words, and agree on a precise and realistic time frame for completing the work. Be flexible, but stick to the facts. Use positive techniques and avoid pressure: a slow leader is already insecure enough. Try to solve problems using alternatives arranged in a row. Provide support to the manager after he has made a decision. When he makes a decision, increase your vigilance; When accepting instructions and orders from him, do not rush things.

11. "Fighter"(for women “Amazon”). “Fighter” is a “walking bomb” with a ticking mechanism. His (or her) anger is not on the surface. The “fighter” explodes unexpectedly: he screams a lot, attacks and splashes out his sarcasm. He likes to “shoot” indiscriminately, quickly and often. When his outburst of irritation ends, he “crawls” back into his sullen silence. For the “fighter,” restoration of justice (real or imaginary) is the goal, revenge is the weapon.

The “fighter” is afraid of his own anger and the manifestation of his emotions, as well as insincerity in any form. When you approach this type of leader, try to confront him constructively. You can even tell him how difficult it is to deal with his full-on anger. Ask for a personal meeting with him; Do not allow deviations or failures. Then show your serious intent by focusing on the question; try to direct his energy towards solving the problem. Make it a challenge for him, because he likes challenges.

12. "Flatterer" constantly smiling, friendly, obsequious, with a sense of humor. “Flatterers” tell people what they want to hear; trying to “pin them to the wall” is as fruitless as trying to collect mercury with a fork. “Flatterers” believe more in form and influence than in substance and competence. The need for approval makes them specialists in subterfuge.

The “flatterer” is afraid of direct conversation and direct action, which sometimes leads to the creation of enemies. He needs approval - so give it to him, laugh at his jokes and enjoy his stories. But don't let him make unrealistic commitments. Keep him accountable and demand facts: names, location, specific task and confirmation of truth. Let him know that honesty is the best policy.

13. "Know-It-All" knows a lot, but his problem is that he acts as if he knows everything. He (or she) is very impatient, which manifests itself in an inability to listen. If a “know-it-all” encounters negative phenomena, he criticizes what he himself does not know, blames others, since he himself needs little help and does not like to work in groups. The “know-it-all” thinks that his personal intelligence and knowledge is the only way to evaluate other people’s work performance.

The “know-it-all” is afraid of not pleasing others, afraid of a sharp drop in his own standards of excellence. Don't fight the know-it-all, don't blame him, and avoid confrontation with him; Don’t try to be a “counter-expert” (challenge him about something he considers himself an expert on). On the contrary, lead him to solving the problem. Ask the know-it-all, listen to him and express gratitude to him; then provide feedback and suggest alternatives.

14. "Lazy" (slob). The personal habits (inclinations) of a “lazy person” can be annoying and even disgusting; disorder and chaos manifests itself in both his (or her) work and personal life. “Lazy people” cannot navigate the order of things and prioritize tasks; their clothes are constantly wrinkled, stained or torn. They may eat too much, smoke, smell of alcohol, or leave half their lunch on their mustache.

The “lazy guy” does not want to admit that he must take responsibility for his actions, showing childishness and carelessness. If you work with a lazy person, support him when he accidentally acts neatly and help him achieve greater order in his personal and professional life. Show by example that if you behave the same way as him, then things will stop. Try to instill a minimum knowledge of NOTES in the manager. “Lazy” needs a hardworking and clear secretary who can solve problems.

15. "Abnormal" ("Concerned"). Such a leader exhibits abnormal (deviating from the norm) behavior. Abnormality manifests itself either in sexual harassment, or in frequent absenteeism, or in constant lies. “Abnormal” managers try to escape responsibility and hope that people will “cover” for them. They are overly anxious, ineffective, and it is difficult to understand whether this excitement and restless whims are the cause or effect of their own problems. His behavior quickly manifests itself on business trips, because... He gets drunk more often, is rude, pesters women, and makes scandals.

An “abnormal” leader is afraid of responsibility and, perhaps, even when achieving success, behaves inappropriately. It is advisable to carefully document his anomalies in order to provide "credible evidence" to prevail in the event that he tries to lie to protect himself. Some employees should have their own records of abnormal behavior by a supervisor; such documents can provide convincing evidence of one's case in the event of a confrontation.

Technology for dealing with a “difficult” leader

When dealing with a difficult manager, you have several acceptable options. The most effective strategy will depend on the type of difficult leader you have and your own specific personality and management skills. Below are the behavior options from which you can choose the best ones.

Don't do anything. Just keep doing what you've been doing all along. Of course, this has already led to the current situation and does not promise anything good. But if your fear of trying your luck is greater than your level of dissatisfaction, perhaps the best thing to do is to let things play out as they take their course, since any other course may simply add fuel to the fire.

Reevaluate your manager. Individual leaders are not really “difficult.” Some employees think they have "difficult" managers; in reality, they simply have different ideas about their roles, goals, or values. Or it may turn out that the matter is a contradiction (incompatibility) of individuals - such as, for example, an extrovert (a person interested only in external objects) and an introvert (a person focused on his experiences); or the problem is in conflicting perspectives - such as the detail-oriented and the opposite "big picture" perspective. The meaning of these differences depends on how you look at them and how you use them; a combination of people with a "big picture" perspective and a detailed perspective can make for an excellent team, but can also lead to confrontation. Reconsider and reevaluate your manager.

Improve your style. Sometimes the best approach is to forget about trying to change your manager and improve your own behavior. Of course, you must have the desire to change, otherwise the attempt will fail. If you decide to change, try to make just one or two conscious and important changes in your approach to work. Change what is directly hindering the effectiveness of your relationship with your boss.

Talk to your supervisor. First, you need to evaluate whether your manager is a good candidate for a one-on-one conversation. Some managers simply don't practice this type of interpersonal communication, in which case you might want to give up the attempt. Is your manager able to take criticism? Is he (or she) a caring person? Can he (or she) listen? If your manager is a good candidate for dialogue, then ask him for a meeting, prepare carefully for it; ask meaningful questions and observe his reactions; At the same time, use feedback, expressing your approval in those cases where you consider it necessary. Remember that most leaders crave genuine, caring feedback to ease the burden that their difficult behavior creates. If your difficult manager has a difficult manager, then your boss may need this support even more than you do. Give him a good example.

"Talk anonymously". If you're afraid to tell your boss what you think directly, you can try communicating your thoughts to him through a tactful, attentive, but still honest letter. Posting a "difficult manager of the month" award on a notice board may have some effect, but don't try this approach in a small firm! Sometimes an anonymous message is the only acceptable way to get attention. However, don't get caught red-handed.

Select transfer (by service). If you like your organization but don't like your manager, getting a transfer may be the best alternative for you. Find the type of manager you would like to have and decide what type of work you would like to do for him. Make a list of several managers you would like to work with and directly or indirectly cast a bait to the best candidate. Your current manager should only know what you are doing if you are confident that you can successfully complete the transfer attempt.

Approach your superior. This strategy is risky, but it can be effective. Remember that there is a high probability that the "big boss" may side with your boss. As you know, a raven will not peck out a crow's eye. Try to determine how close they are, and beware if your leader belongs to his (or her) clan. If you do choose this approach, be sure to have a solid argument ready. Be objective and helpful, but don't "sell" your manager.

Be able to cope with a “difficult” leader. If none of the listed strategies appeals to you, there can only be one way out - you must be able to “tame” your manager! If you meet some of his or her needs, he or she will usually try not to lose you. But whatever you do, don't sacrifice your own values ​​- it's not worth losing your self-respect. Look at the people who get along with this manager and learn from how they do it. For example, they take on responsibilities that the manager does not like to deal with, or do not require his approval when it is not required, or remain silent when the manager is indignant.

Change organization. A change of environment can often work wonders. But there is no guarantee that a manager in another organization will be better than your current one. However, if you are associated with a bad manager in a small organization, it may be time to look around and think about changing jobs. Evaluate your chosen new organization and new leader very carefully before you leave your current job.

This section uses materials from the book by G.V. Shchekina “How to effectively manage people. Psychology of personnel management" - Kyiv.: 1996. - P. 334-346.

This section uses materials from the book by A.P. Egorshina "Personnel Management". - Novgorod, 2001. - P. 400-410.

Continuing the topic:

There are many reasons to initiate an appeal to your superiors: a request for a salary increase or career advancement, dissatisfaction with working conditions, a message about pregnancy or a decision to leave the company for some reason. This conversation is serious because it can significantly influence your life - both negatively and positively - sometimes turning it in an unpredictable direction. To ensure that it is constructive and that you are heard, think through your behavior strategy in advance. It can be described by the formula: a clear goal + the right time + a positive attitude.

The purpose of a serious conversation with superiors

It is very important to correctly formulate the purpose of the upcoming conversation - the result you want to achieve. "Think about your goal - both before and during negotiations with those on whom decisions depend. It is she who programs your behavior. Always ask yourself the main question before you take a fighting stance, begin to courageously defend yourself, or be ready to throw away a white flag as a sign of defeat.

Ask yourself: What do I intend to get out of this conversation? How should it end for me?" says psychologist Evgenia Shestakova. A person who knows exactly what he wants has an almost magical influence on other people, regardless of their status, due to his confidence and consistency in realizing his plans.

Planning a serious conversation with your boss

Also decide what will be the most optimal solution to the problem for you, and what is unacceptable under any circumstances. This will allow you to be flexible when discussing issues with your boss. The fact is that you both may have diametrically opposed visions of the same situation. For example, due to insufficient information about the real state of affairs in the company, when there is really no way to immediately satisfy your request. Of course, you can become stubborn and refuse to agree to a salary increase of only 15% instead of the coveted 30%. But is the game worth the candle, don’t you risk being left with nothing? In addition, no one likes to be openly blackmailed like: “If you don’t..., then I will...” This can turn into a heavy cross on your reputation.

Make a plan, structure the conversation, write down its most important points and arguments so as not to lose sight of them. “Play out different options for how the conversation could develop. Think through your answers to unpleasant and tricky questions or what to do if the interlocutor begins to evade and evade the topic in every possible way.

In this way, you will reduce the level of surprise and avoid inadequate reactions on your part that will reveal your confusion and lack of self-confidence. In moments of emotional excitement, we are sometimes unable to remember basic things,” advises business coach Tatyana Saykhanova.

Timing for a serious conversation with your boss

Over time, each of us, like a sensitive barometer, begins to recognize when the “great and terrible” lord and tamer of office plankton is in an excellent mood and is open to dialogue. Some even specifically choose a lunch break for this - they say, a person is kinder on a full stomach. "We are ready to communicate if we are rested and full of energy. In other words, our brain is literally saturated with glucose and oxygen. When to ask the boss for an audience in the morning or evening depends on his biorhythms and other characteristics. You never know, maybe he is under stress from - because the deadlines for the delivery of some project are missed, and therefore there is no need to distract him for now. In general, it is better to talk after a snack, but not too heavy," explains Tatyana Saykhanova.

Consider not only other people’s moods, but also your own well-being - both physical and mental. It’s dangerous if you call for a conversation, as they say, on emotions, like the “last straw”: “Enough, how much you can plow for yourself and that brother! Tired of it!” First, give yourself a break, cool down, so as not to mess things up. Spontaneity is acceptable, but not in this case.

It would be a good idea to first agree with your manager on the most suitable time for both of you to negotiate. Then you can both tune in and prepare for them. It is advisable that they take place in a one-on-one format - just the two of you. You should not allow strangers to be present, or even share details with anyone.

Get rid of the fear of having a serious conversation with your boss

You have firmly decided that a meeting with your boss is necessary. She formulated her goal and expected result, thought through a strategy of behavior and backup maneuvers in case something goes wrong. But here’s the problem: your laudable intention is in no hurry to become a reality. The reason for this is a feeling of fear, which is stronger than any reasoning. It is completely normal for human nature to put off important things until later, preferring to stay in the usual comfort zone. Even if it hasn’t been comfortable there for a long time, oddly enough. Your instincts tell you: “Don’t get into trouble, you can get hurt,” “Initiative is punishable”... To overcome fear and finally do what you consider necessary, you need a certain psychological attitude.

One of the obstacles that prevents us from deciding to have a conversation, as well as skillfully leading our own line in order to achieve what we want, is our attitude that we are somehow worse than those in power and do not have the right to our own needs and boundaries. “Such stereotypes as “the boss is always right”, “there is only one employer, but there are many of us hungry for work”, create a deliberate position. Not only the company chooses employees, but they also choose where and with whom to work. Keep this thought in mind as a guide. This will help you balance your positions and make yourself less dependent on your boss,” assures Evgenia Shestakova.

It’s great when you have a friendly and trusting relationship with your boss, you know that you will be listened to and understood. But what if this is not so and you are even afraid of him? “The simplest and most effective technique for changing your attitude towards a person is to search for a quality in him that you sincerely like and which you do not possess. For example, this “despot and tyrant” conducts business very carefully or has a well-developed intuition.

Perhaps, thanks to him, you will learn this too. Look at the leader with different eyes - not full of anxiety and prejudice, but interested. Give him a mental compliment,” advises Evgenia Shestakova.

It happens that the fear is so strong that your teeth are literally chattering, your breath is taken away, and you get a small nasty trembling. And no amount of self-hypnosis from the “I am the most charming and attractive” series helps. First you need to calm down and normalize your physiological state in order to regain the ability to think rationally. “When you feel like you’re really shaking, do the “Oh, I’m afraid, I’m afraid!” exercise. Tighten the muscles of your arms, legs, face and shake your whole body, as if in a fit of terrible fear, for at least 30 seconds. If not lets go - repeat,” recommends Tatyana Saykhanova. Various breathing techniques are also good. Tatyana Saykhanova draws attention to one of them, code-named “Grapefruit”: “Imagine that inside your navel there is a ball the size of a grapefruit. You need to inflate it with your breath. Inhale slowly through your nose, while simultaneously inflating the “grapefruit” in your stomach, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Take several such inhalations and exhalations."

Where to start a serious conversation with your boss

So, you are already in the office, the boss is looking at you expectantly. Where to start the conversation? The so-called “hamburger strategy” can help you. Everyone remembers that it consists of two halves of a bun, between which there is a filling of cutlets, tomatoes and much more, generously flavored with ketchup or mustard. So it is here: the halves of the bun are the introduction and end of the conversation, and the core is its main content.

The course of the conversation as a whole depends on what the beginning is like. Therefore, it is important to first create a friendly atmosphere, establish contact with the interlocutor, and not attack him with your troubles or requests. For example, thank him for the opportunity to speak out, note some qualities of his that appeal to you or working conditions that you like. This stage will take very little time, but its impact is great. “There are magic phrases that help to establish contact and significantly increase the chances of a favorable outcome of the case: “I want to consult with you” or “I will be grateful for your help.” Agree, any boss, authoritarian, democratic, or whatever you like, is flattered if subordinates emphasize the importance of his authority for them,” adds Evgenia Shestakova.

Then move on to the “filling” - the essence of your appeal. Explain the reasons that prompted you to do this. If possible, refer to facts and figures, without being unfounded. Try to focus not on accusations against someone and your dissatisfaction, but on specific proposals for changing the current situation. It is important to take care not only of your own interests, but also to take into account the interests of the organization. For example, you decided to leave her, but you are ready to wait until a suitable candidate is found to take your place, prepare and transfer all matters to him so that he adapts quickly. And of course, you swear that until your dismissal you will work with the same quality as before. Thus, you show yourself as a loyal and responsible employee, which cannot but arouse reciprocal sympathy.

How to end a serious conversation with your boss

At the end of the conversation, regardless of whether you are satisfied with it or not, summarize and mention the agreements reached, if any. Leave a pleasant aftertaste - be sure to sincerely thank your boss again for the attention he paid to you and note the positive and useful moments of your conversation. According to Tatyana Saykhanova, if our expectations do not come true, it is worth using the technique of cognitive reassessment of what is happening. It allows you to expand your picture of the world and your perception of others. Take other people's remarks and comments not as criticism, but as help and tips from the teacher for your professional development.