How to start life anew. Neil Fiore's book, The Easy Way to Start a New Life. What should a teenager do for the better?

Many people on earth at some time in their lives think about the question: how to start a new life? This question is simple, but it is often difficult to find the right answers to it. It’s not so easy to break with past mistakes and delusions and start life from scratch. In this short article we will try to give some useful advice to those who want to start living again.
So, let's begin.

Advice one. Evaluate the mistakes and failures of the past and abandon them

The first thing anyone who decides to start over should do is take a closer look at their past. You need to understand what in this past did not suit you and why. It is also very important to understand for yourself the reason for failure. What was this reason? Perhaps the reason for your failure in life was poor family upbringing, deep poverty, lack of good education and profession? Or maybe the reason for everything was your complexes and hidden fears? Or have you been hurting yourself all your life because of your bad temper? In any case, take a closer look at yourself and those around you, so you are more likely to find the causes of your troubles and conflicts. After all, starting to live again is not so easy; it requires character, will, and determination to change something in your life.

For example, many women wonder how to start a new life after a divorce. Indeed, this is not easy to do, not even because at the age of 40 it is difficult to find a new life partner, but because when starting a family again, a woman will, willingly or unwillingly, transfer past problems and difficulties into her new life. Beware of such mistakes. Try to break with your bad past forever and never return to it again.

To the question of how to forget the past and start a new life, we gave the answer. Now let's try to decide how to start life over. This is not an easy task. After all, for this we must soberly assess our present. Think about what worries you in your present. Take a piece of blank paper and write down on it all your shortcomings that can harm you personally and your relationships with people around you. Do not spare yourself, write the whole truth as it is. After all, your life should start from scratch.

When you have written everything that is on your soul, carefully read your notes and evaluate how much you can get rid of everything negative, and then tear what you wrote into small parts. In this way, you will symbolically destroy all your shortcomings. Well, when dreaming of a new life, you need to fight yourself in reality. This is understandable, because the question: how to start life from scratch is very difficult to solve.

At the age of 40, every person has a burden of long-formed habits behind him. And these habits often prevent us from starting a new and interesting life. For example, on weekends you are used to lying in bed until 12 noon, then lazily getting up and being idle all day. But with such laziness you will not be able to start any new life!

In order to start life first, you need a lot. Therefore, it is simply necessary to change those ossified stereotypes of behavior that prevent you from moving forward. Create new positive habits for yourself: play sports, take walks around the city, go out into nature, live a new interesting and eventful life, and your success will definitely find you!

Sometimes, in order to start a new life, a person needs to change not only his inner world, but also carefully think about changing the outer world. In this case, the outside world includes both your profession and your work. Of course, a new life does not always begin when you return to college at the age of 40. It is not always useful to change your profession, but you can undergo professional retraining, which will help expand the scope of your professional activity and give you the opportunity to find a more interesting and better-paid job.

You can start your life over by turning your hobby into a new job. For example, today the areas of earning money on the Internet are actively developing. Thanks to this, there are many opportunities for opening online stores, remote learning and working on the network. Starting to live again with such rapid development of new technologies is quite simple. At the same time, you no longer need to spend a huge amount of time on the road to work, and then get bored and do things that you don’t like. The work is located on your home computer. It's easier and more convenient.

In addition to advice on changing jobs, I can suggest that all those who are thinking about where to start a new life should pay more attention to their area of ​​interest. Do you like fishing? Do you like being in nature? Try to devote every weekend to your hobby. Do you like to do handicrafts or cook delicious food? There is nothing simpler: do what you want, and those around you will certainly notice your talents.

Remember that your new life is ahead of you, and this life will bring you that feeling of satisfaction that you have been looking for for a very long time.

So don't be afraid to do what you love. And even if those around you judge you. Don't pay attention to rumors and gossip. After all, this is your destiny, and you are its master.

Meeting new people often helps to start life with a clean slate. New people and new life are practically two synonymous concepts. Therefore, do not be afraid of new meetings and partings. On the contrary, look for new people, feel free to meet them, and don’t be afraid that this person may disappoint you later. And to find these new people, try to lead a new active life: go to public events in theaters, philharmonic societies, exhibition halls. Visit entertainment centers, shops, cafes. Go to city holidays and folk festivals. Be in public as often as possible, and you are guaranteed new friends.

And new acquaintances promise new love. Nothing in the world helps you start living again like falling in love with a charming woman or a courageous man. Love inspires a person at any age, and when you have life experience behind you, it acts on you like real tart wine. Therefore, go to people with sincere and good aspirations, and yours will certainly find you.

Advice seventh. Control your negative emotions

Good advice for those looking to start a new life is to remember to control your negative emotions. After all, often a person striving to start living again, having stumbled once, forever loses faith in success. And often this happens because negative emotions take over us. Of course, this is the wrong course of action. There will be even more difficulties on the new path than when using old templates. But this is your new life: you believe in it, you are building it, so don’t be afraid of disappointments and don’t accumulate anger, fatigue and aggression. Difficulties strengthen us, but do not lead us to death. Remember this and move forward. Be there no matter what!

Tip eight. If things don't work out, try setting some goals for yourself.

Perhaps success in your quest for a new destiny will not come immediately. If you feel like your strength is running out, try setting small but true goals for yourself. For example, decide to give up such a bad habit as smoking, because it prevents you from living well. Having decided to quit this harmful activity, set a date when you will start giving up cigarettes. Try to fulfill your plans exactly.

Write a plan of your actions for yourself. And finally, having overcome the bad habit, rejoice in your victory. After all, you have already taken one step towards a new life.
And the next morning tell yourself: “If I’m starting a new life, then giving up smoking is not enough, there’s still a lot that needs to be done.” Set a new goal for yourself, and then boldly go towards it. Gradually you will achieve your main goal - you will begin to live the way you want and breathe deeply.

“But how difficult it is to start all over again!” - you say. Indeed, a new life is not given to everyone who wants it. She must be caught like a blue bird that brings happiness to people. Therefore, you should not wait for manna from heaven, you need to forge your success like heavy iron, forge it with your own hands. Don’t hope that everything will work out for you soon; parting with your habits is very difficult, especially when the habits have become part of your flesh and blood and have become a need. But those who are trying to solve the problem of how to start life from scratch can be advised to stubbornly move forward and never give up.

Remember that your past no longer exists, the present depends on you, but the future can be different, so make it comfortable for yourself!

Tip ten. Don't expect ready-made advice. Everything is individual, so improvise

People still have not come up with a universal guide called “How to start a new life.” Therefore, everyone has their own new life. There are, of course, some common features, but still, for some it is family happiness, for others it is career success, and for others it is a solution to health problems.

How to start a new life from scratch is a philosophical question. But each of us has our own answer to it. And if you meet a person on your way who asks you: “How to start life from scratch?”, you can answer him that the answer to this question is written in his heart.
Therefore, do not look for ready-made answers, improvise yourself. And in this search you will find what you are looking for.

Tip eleven. Believe in your success, a bright and wonderful future

Despite the fact that the last advice sounds somewhat pretentious, we should not forget about this either. For anyone who is thinking about how to start a new life, it should be the final chord that will give a person a sense of determination and strengthen his will to win.

How to start over? Yes, very simple. You just need to believe in the success of the undertaking.
We can’t go anywhere without faith, people can’t live without it, so if you decide to start a new life, follow this path and don’t be afraid of possible difficulties and failures. The main thing is determination and courage, as well as the desire to rebuild everything in your destiny. Man differs from animals in that he has the sacred right to choose. This right belongs to us according to our deserts, but it also places a huge responsibility on our shoulders.
Therefore, go forward, change yourself, your attitude towards this world, and everything will work out for you!
Good luck and success to you!

To start a new life, you need to imagine what exactly you want to start from scratch. Do you want to move on after a breakup or divorce? Have you moved to another city or country? Starting a career in a new field or changing your lifestyle? Or did you lose your home due to a fire or natural disaster? In any case, the beginning of a new life is associated with change. New things often frighten us because they have not yet been explored and are different from what we are used to. To radically change your life, you will need courage and determination. However, work and perseverance can lead you to your goal.

Steps

Preparing for a new life

Decide what you want. Perhaps you are starting a new life because you want change. Or perhaps you are forced to start it after a personal tragedy that destroyed your home, career or relationship. Either way, the first step to starting over is to figure out what you want out of life.

Consider the consequences. If changing your life is your own choice, you should spend some time analyzing the consequences that your actions may entail.

Assess the obstacles. If starting a new life was easy, people would do it all the time. The reason this is not happening is that there are many barriers that make global change difficult. Consider what challenges you might face and how to overcome them.

• Let's say you want to move and start a new life in another city or country. Assess what aspects of your life will be affected. If you are moving far away, are you ready to part with friends, acquaintances, and your usual way of life? Compare the cost of living where you live now and where you plan to move. Can you afford it? Will you be able to find a job in your field? Moving abroad requires more thought and planning than just moving to another city. Find out whether you need to obtain a residence permit, work permit, how and under what conditions they can be issued. Rent of housing, payments, banking services, insurance, transport - everything will not be the same as you are used to, and you will have to figure it all out.
• If you don't have enough money to quit your job and start a new life on the ocean surfing, you need to keep your day job. This doesn't mean you should give up on your surfing dream, but it's an obstacle you can't ignore. Your plans should be as practical and realistic as possible.

1. Make a plan. Determine what you must do to achieve your goals and start a new life. It's a good idea to take paper and pen and write it all down. You will probably come up with several intermediate options, thinking and rethinking different approaches.

   Set the plan aside for a while, then review it. It will not be created immediately, but in several stages. By giving yourself time to think, you will then likely add something and subtract something from your original plan.

   Building a new life

   1. Take care of the essentials. In most cases, starting a new life requires organizational work related to finances. This often means calling or visiting financial institutions. No one usually wants to deal with them, but it is better to take care of money issues in advance so that everything that follows will be resolved easier.

      Create a new routine. The next step is to make changes to your routine that will help you implement your plan. You should understand that as new activities enter your life, there will be more and more such changes.

      Focus on yourself. Don't compare yourself to others. The path you have chosen is yours and only yours.

Millions of people are wondering how to start a new life and change themselves, but they don't do anything.

Let's find out how anyone can become completely different.

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Is it possible?

Can a person change radically?

Is it possible to change your temperament? Is it possible to change your life scenario, destiny?

To begin with, it is important to answer the question: is a person capable of changing so that practically become a different person?

When we live in certain conditions, nothing new happens around us, then there is no incentive for development. In this case, it is almost impossible to change, especially if there is no motivation.

A person lives in his comfort zone. Yes, he has a small salary, an unsuccessful personal life, but he continues to seem to want to change everything, but does nothing. always scary.

Our actions, goals, motivation are influenced - these are formed in the process of social development characteristics of the psyche and personality. The basis of character, what we are given at birth, is.

It is almost impossible to change the type of nervous system, although it is quite possible to learn to act differently and develop specific traits.

For example, if he wants to be more active and sociable, then he will have to try and work on himself. He is quite capable of learning to control himself, although this is difficult for him.

Above character traits you can also work.

If you are unhappy with specific personality traits, develop a plan to get rid of them.

There is a theory that we are destined for a certain destiny, and we can't change it. However, examples from many people disprove this theory. For example, people born with disabilities.

They could live on a disability pension and be content with that. But there are those who, despite difficulties, work, achieve, and become famous and respected people.

Part of the script is written into us from childhood. Parents and those closest to us instill attitudes in us and shape our character. Childhood trauma has a particularly strong impact.

But that doesn't mean that I'll have to deal with it. We have the power to change the script written in us by our parents; we just need to identify what prevents us from becoming successful and achieving what we want.

What can you change about yourself?

What would I like to change about myself? Yes almost anything. If you want to be more liberated and learn public speaking skills, go to courses and trainings.

If you don’t like your temper, yoga will help. You understand that your muscles are weak, you are inferior to other people in endurance - why not go in for sports.

In modern world a huge number of possibilities.

And the point is not that we can’t, but that we don’t want to, we’re afraid, we’re lazy, we don’t want to leave our usual comfort zone.

But this is the only way that change happens.

How to find out what you want to change:

• write down your personality traits, evaluate what you would like to keep and what to get rid of;
• list your achievements;
• write what you would like to achieve, but have not achieved;
• think about what prevented you from getting what you wanted;
• who do you blame for failures - the outside world, your parents, yourself;

If you can’t decide for yourself, then go for a consultation with a psychologist. He will conduct the appropriate tests and help you choose the direction of movement.

Choose a professional coach who deals specifically with the problem of self-development.

Where to begin?

How to change your life for the better? Any change starts somewhere. They don't happen on their own. The exception is psychotraumatic situations when sharp revaluation of values.

Where to begin? Understand what exactly you want to change. Be realistic about your personality, achievements and mistakes. Don't be afraid to get to know yourself. Sometimes we know that we have some shortcomings, but our consciousness does not allow us to adequately evaluate them.

If you can’t do it yourself, ask people you trust.

Be prepared for criticism and don’t be offended if you hear something you don’t want.

Change is about motivation. Set goals for yourself: why to change, what you want to ultimately achieve, in what time frame.

How to change?

Now we move on to the most difficult stage: the process of changing your personality and life.

Your personality beyond recognition

Manifestation of personality outside - this is our specialty. If you know your weaknesses, work on them.

1. Change your schedule radically. Write a daily schedule, remove everything unnecessary that prevents you from achieving your goal.
2. Pay attention to the lives of successful people: read their biography, find out how they went towards their goal, what obstacles they overcame. Be inspired by their experiences.
3. Learn something new every day.
4. Change your social circle. The social environment has a strong influence on us; it can inspire us or drag us down.

   Eliminate losers, whiners, and pessimists from your circle.

5. Work on your character traits - improve the positive ones and try to get rid of the negative ones.

Inner world

How to change internally? Who are you - a pessimist or an optimist, or maybe you consider yourself a realist?

We see the world in black colors, we pay attention to the negative, as a result, life becomes worse and worse, and positive events disappear from our lives.

Try to look at the world with different eyes. It's not easy, especially at the beginning.

When you wake up, smile. Just smile at the new day, even if you have a difficult job ahead of you, general cleaning, or a trip to a government office.

Remember - you create your own world.

Do a little exercise: imagine that there is light around you, you are radiating radiance into the world, and all people notice it. White, gentle light, emitting kindness, energy, warmth

You will see how your day will go differently, people will start noticing you, complimenting you, and yours will be much better.

Thinking positive

How to change your thoughts to positive ones? Every day find something positive around you. Let it be the little things first. It began to rain - weather conducive to relaxation and reflection.

Being rude in transport - perhaps the world wants you to pay attention to something or this is a test of your emotional fortitude. See the city with different eyes- architecture, thousands of people rushing to work.

Communicate as little as possible with negative people. Even if you consider them your friends, negativity is contagious.

That's why look for those with whom it is pleasant to communicate, with whom you feel at ease, who increases your energy and does not take it away.

Positive thinking requires practice. At first it will be difficult to look for the positive; it will seem to you that everything is bad. But after just three weeks, you will be surprised to notice how the world has begun to change, and you along with it.

Beliefs

First, decide whether you really need to change them. If other people demand it, remember that beliefs are features of your personality. You shouldn't change just because others demand it.

If you want to really change your beliefs, then read more, evaluate opinions, facts, look for the right ones.

Lifestyle

It's simple - start doing something right now. Not tomorrow, Monday or New Year's, but from this minute. If you want to get rid of a bad habit, do it immediately, don’t wait for the right moment, because it won’t come.

If you want to get up earlier, set an alarm; if one is not enough, set three. You will begin to get used to the new regime within a few days.

You waste a lot of time on useless activities - just stop doing them now- turn off social networks, remove the TV from the house, stop meeting people who take up your time and do not benefit you.

Habits

How to force yourself to change your habits? Motivation is what matters.

Answer yourself the question- Why do you want to change your habits? Keep your eyes open.

If you smoke, then remember about your health, wrinkles, sagging skin, and lung problems that will certainly await you in a few years. Bad habits mean early aging.

You want to have a fresh and blooming appearance for as long as possible, be active, and be liked by the opposite sex - then break the habit now. A person gets used to new conditions in about 21 days; you only need to hold out for three weeks.

Attitude to life

Develop optimism in yourself. Yes, it seems that everything is bad. In fact, there are many beautiful things in the world. Life was difficult at any time, but now we have so many opportunities that we need to use them.

What does your pessimism give you? You see everything in black and gray. Worried about your health, bad pay, evil people. So start living for yourself. Enjoy life for yourself. Work and achieve for yourself.

Stop complaining. Remember: they don’t like complainers and whiners. If you want to be pitied, stop yourself. No one cares about our problems, but your complaints will push away truly worthwhile and positive people.

How to change for the better?

For a girl

Girls they love strong guys who are capable of action.

They prefer those who keep their word, who they can trust, and with whom they are not afraid to go through life.

How to change:

• develop;
• forget about aimless pastime;
• work;
• make time for relaxation together;
• respect the girl;
• devote time to her, but do not be too intrusive - there should not be an excess of attention, otherwise it will quickly get boring.

The most important- Be purposeful, don’t stop there.

For a guy

If you plan to live happily ever after with a guy, you will have to work on your personality.

No, in no case do you need to adapt to someone, remain yourself, but develop your best qualities.

What to do:

The worst thing you can think of is falsehood and pretense. Be yourself, develop positive thinking and strive to be active in life.

Real stories of people

There are many examples of people who decided to radically change their lives, and age is not a hindrance to this.

Daphne Selfe is 86 years old. Fame came to her after 70, when she decided to become a fashion model. Her husband died, the children became adults, and she was faced with a choice - like everyone else, spend her old age in front of the TV or live for herself.

Grant Achatz. He beat cancer and fulfilled his dream of becoming a famous chef.

Susan Street is 59 years old. She lost weight after turning 50, and since then, dramatic changes have begun in her life. She survived job loss, cancer, became a vegetarian, started her own blog, and helps other people change.

There are thousands of such examples.

All you need is a push, a realization that your life is meaningless and wrong. Don't wait for the right moment, start changing from now on.

How to start a new life? 10 steps that will change you and your life:

The desire to start a new, different life appears in us for various reasons. But it always requires serious resources for its implementation. How to make the process of changing the existing way of life less painful and at the same time effective? How to start a new life and change yourself in reality, and not in dreams or fruitless attempts.

It doesn't matter what your situation is. Maybe you broke up with your loved one, and you don’t so much want as you are forced to change your life. Or you have already changed yourself, and your previous ideas about yourself and the world no longer fit into your current living space. It is important that you know that you can change yourself and your life. In any situation, at any moment in life. How to do this competently – that is the question.

Evolutionary path or revolutionary?

Starting a new life does not necessarily mean giving up everything and moving somewhere far away. This is an escape, and an escape primarily from oneself. But you can't run away from yourself. No matter where you go, no matter what you do together in a new place, you will remain at home all the same.

Therefore, before you frantically pack your bags, ask yourself whether you yourself have already changed enough to build your life completely differently in a new place. Because you won’t be able to leave your beliefs and behavior patterns in your old apartment.

Change is not something you find in the outside world. Changes will begin within you anyway. And then they transform your life.

Not all changes need a revolutionary path. Sometimes the principle of gradualism works. In addition, not every person is capable of revolutionary change. They require serious effort and constant work on yourself. A certain harshness towards yourself.

Whereas smooth, gradual changes work no worse, provided that new rules and new conditions are constantly followed. It's like with a diet, for example. You can sit on water, or you can give up slow carbohydrates. The effect will be in any case, only at different speeds and different resource costs.

So think carefully about the end goal of your changes. Do you want to lose a couple of kilos? Or do you want a completely different figure? And if the second - are you ready to exercise regularly, eat right and according to the regime. And most importantly, are you ready to live like this not for three months, but for a long time?

Because at least once in her life, a woman on a diet knows perfectly well that losing weight is not even half the battle. The main difficulty begins at the moment when it is necessary to maintain the achieved result. And to achieve this, you need to radically change your attitude towards food. Least.

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So, when you think that you want to change yourself and start a new life, carefully decide what exactly you want. And then you can begin to take decisive action.

Why do many people fail to change themselves?

Surely any person from your circle has spoken to you at least once about how he would like to change something in his life. As you know, fish look for where it is deeper, and people look for where it is better. People are designed in such a way that they are always waiting for something to fall on them somewhere, around the corner, right on that sofa on which they are watching the next series.

We always think it could be better. Better job, better husband, apartment, and so on. In a sense, these are the key principles of the philosophy of consumer society - a new phone model is imposed on us every year. And we begin to treat everything we have the same way.

But at the same time, not everyone is able to deeply understand the idea that we have exactly what we deserve at the moment. What if, for example, we go to work at the bank every day, but in fact we would like to be, for example, a florist, we cannot become a florist if we just dream about it before going to bed.

And no one, absolutely no one is to blame for this. And to become a florist, we need to find time to attend florist courses on weekends. You must be prepared at the first stage to give up a certain level of income in a new area. Spend time and energy on developing a new profession.

Dreaming of a new life and starting to live in a new way are not the same thing. For some, the process of change is an interesting task, a new experience, a way to discover new facets of themselves. And someone lives all his life in the apartment where he was brought from the maternity hospital. And these are very different people, with different abilities and life motivations.

Another important point that prevents you from starting a new life is fear.

More precisely fears. People are afraid of making mistakes, afraid of failure, afraid that they will only get worse, that they won’t cope. And so they simply cannot step outside their comfort zone and start thinking and acting in new ways.

Therefore, if for any reason, you are not happy in your life today, do not be afraid to change it. Turn the page and start with a clean slate.

To start a new life, decide on your motivation

A person’s life sometimes changes on its own and gradually, along with its development and improvement. When you want to spur these changes, you need a goal, a motive that will move you forward.

Remember the main thing - your behavior means a lot to a man, but if there is no harmony at the level of signs, then the relationship will be very tense. It is very advisable to find out the exact compatibility of your zodiac sign with the sign of a man. This can be done by clicking on the button below:

Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two halves. In the left column, describe everything that you don’t like in today’s circumstances, as well as what personal qualities and actions led you to these circumstances.

Write down everything that comes to mind. Then separately highlight the largest difficulties - family problems, problems with self-realization, self-esteem. These are the ones you have to focus on first.

Opposite the first list, in the right column, write how you see these same circumstances ideally. What kind of relationship do you want with your husband, how much do you want to earn and what to do, and so on.

This list will show you what decisions you need to make as a result of the changes.

Actions that, when performed regularly, will make it easier for you to change yourself and your life.

After you figure out what needs to be changed in the main circumstances of your life, you need to make an action plan and follow it. It is very difficult to give examples here, it all depends too much on what exactly you will be working on in your specific situation.

Instead, I offer you a small list of active actions that, when achieved with sufficient regularity, will help you change internally, which means it will be easier to achieve global first-level goals.

• Watch your thinking, change it from negative to positive. Don't complain, don't blame, but thank and change.
• Increase your optimistic attitude.
• Change your place of residence
• Meet new people, expand your social circle.
• Find something new to do that you enjoy.
• Get rid of bad habits and addictions, acquire new, positive ones - regular exercise, walking, reading, etc.
• Change your appearance, image.
• Change your place of work or occupation.

You can start with the main thing. For example, type of activity or new relationship. If this is too radical for you, start with shorter steps. For example, by analogy, find yourself a new hobby and a new friend.

The main thing is to start. Not tomorrow, not on Monday, but right now. And don't forget the 21 day rule. It is believed that this is the minimum period after which regular action becomes a habit. Regular action means every day, without excuses or justifications. And then everything will work out for you.

If you want to be with the man you love, you need to figure out whether you are compatible according to your zodiac sign?

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No, if you are 90 years old, then you can deservedly rest on your laurels. But if you are young, energetic, but at the same time you feel that your life has reached a dead end, let's try to start a new life together. Believe me, it is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. And most importantly, it’s more interesting than throwing ashes on your head because you had something yesterday that you won’t have today. It will be, it will be! It will be even better. Don't hesitate and take action!

1. Your personal Teacher

A) Direct mentor

B) Indirect mentor

B) Your entire environment

2. What to tackle first?

3. What excites you?

4. Don't worry unnecessarily

5. It's not about the money, it's about the quantity!

6. “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”

7. How to make good money?

8. What will today's choice bring?

9. If your choice seems strange to you

10. What to do if your family does not approve of your choice?

11. Daughter (son), live my life!

12. You worry that you will be considered “not of this world”

13. What if your favorite thing to do is drink and party?

14. Are you reproached for not spending enough time with your family?

15. Don't be afraid to learn!

16. Do you feel like a weakling?

17. Who should I deal with?

18. If you have several interests at once?

19. If you are overwhelmed with knowledge

20. Do new things scare you and make you depressed?

Don't try, like a chess player, to calculate 10 steps ahead. Don't look into the future, you don't know it anyway. And unnecessary thoughts about what doesn’t exist yet will only cause anxiety. She will prevent you from moving on. But nothing stops you from taking the next step.